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 COMICS R AWESOME!

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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:18 am

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
I never really understood what Satan, or whatever Satan-equivalent was in Spawn, was actually trying to do.

That's why I equate Spawn with Ghost Rider. They both have the same plothole that never, real,y has a good explanation. (or, at least, not one that's present in the origin story)

Satan/Lucifer/Cameron/Mephestopholies: "Hahaha! your Girlfriend/Father/Brother/2nd Cousin who you really liked has died! Work for me and I'll bring them back to life!"

Spawn/GR "Sure. Whatever"

*Receives DEAMON POWARS*

*Girlfriend/Father/Brother/2nd Cousin who he really liked dies as part of convoluted contractual bollocks*

S/L/C/M: "Ha! Sucks to be you! Didn't read the small print! You're boned now!"

Spawn/GR: "Oh woe is me! I failed to forsee any problems with making a deal with the fucking devil! Well, egg's on your face Satan/Lucifer/Cameron/Mephestopholies, because I'm gonna use this power you gave me to be a right thorn in your side!"

S/L/C/M: "Well, fuck. I didn't see this coming. If only I'd implemented some sort of contractual guarantee or a "removal of "DEAMON POWARS upon betrayal" clause. Fuck. I guess I've gotta huck the rest of my army at him now. Jeez, I'm dumb."

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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:56 am

Quote :
arent the spartans the ones who sent their teenage boys to live with a male mentor to finish their training or some shit and it always ended in bumsex or was that just a rumour spread around by those haughty soft athenians

The Spartans are offended that you think that they like boys. Athenians liked boys, there is a lot of art from the Athenians that shows a older man giving 'love gifts' to boys. The Spartans liked men.


On topic..

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Damn you OMD Angry


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Exodia's Right Leg
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:07 am

Yeah, almost makes me regret not picking up a non-cosmic Marvel comic since Heroes Reborn was a thing.

Almost.
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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:05 pm

This site collects some of the most inappropriate moments in comics.
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http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:04 am

Can I come in here to finally rant about MTMTE, or is it all cape bullshit?

...

Okay well all I got is that the first 20 issues of Avenger's Academy was more painful to read than to watch 20 seasons of Days of Our Lives. Reading it for Hank was also a huge disappointment.

DC sucks, Marvel's better. But capes are still boring as fuck.
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:26 am

MTMTE?
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:12 am

It's a little late for Valentines day, but I'm pretty sure there are a few people in here who will appreciate this little romantic/creepy contribution from Nightcrawler.

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(Lifts wineglass with prehensile tail... Good move, Kurt!)
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:00 am

WD40 wrote:
MTMTE?

Transformers thing
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Jay/Cris
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:09 am

WD40 wrote:
(Lifts wineglass with prehensile tail... Good move, Kurt!)

I bet he can do a lot of good moves with that tail. I bet he's blue all over.

Yeah, I don't see the creepy.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:29 am

WD40 wrote:
It's a little late for Valentines day, but I'm pretty sure there are a few people in here who will appreciate this little romantic/creepy contribution from Nightcrawler.
Mmm, Nightcrawler.

Umm, is he with his sister in this one?
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:16 am

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
WD40 wrote:
It's a little late for Valentines day, but I'm pretty sure there are a few people in here who will appreciate this little romantic/creepy contribution from Nightcrawler.
Mmm, Nightcrawler.

Umm, is he with his sister in this one?

That's her saying "Yum" offscreen. (That's where the creepy is, Jay!)


fapfapfap wrote:
WD40 wrote:
MTMTE?

Transformers thing

Rant away.

Anything that could possibly get me to drag in some of my half-remembered memories of Marvel UK's Transformers... Liberties.

[edit]

Quote :
(That's where the creepy is, Jay!)

Well, that and the whole Chuck Austin commentary thing... Not sure if that qualifies as creepy or just "Eugh". But I'm also farely sure it added to his popularity in the fanfic circles.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:54 am

WD40 wrote:
That's her saying "Yum" offscreen. (That's where the creepy is, Jay!)
I thought so, but then I had to make extra sure I got the joke by spelling it out for everyone else.
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:12 pm

WD40 wrote:
Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Umm, is he with his sister in this one?

That's her saying "Yum" offscreen. (That's where the creepy is, Jay!)

Please. They're not related by blood. And Chuck Austin can be ignored freely, can't he? In my world, Nightcrawler is the son of Destiny and Mystique, and everything Azazel is just a ridiculous demon trying to a leg up in the surface world.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:18 pm

Boning someone who was raised by the same person/people as you in the same home as you from early childhood grosses me the fuck out, but you know, whatever floats your boat I guess.

Also the fact she was pretending to be someone else when she hooked up with him was creepy too.
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:31 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Boning someone who was raised by the same person/people as you in the same home as you from early childhood grosses me the fuck out, but you know, whatever floats your boat I guess.

Also the fact she was pretending to be someone else when she hooked up with him was creepy too.

Naw, you're right, the whole thing is a bit iffy, just like the whole '60s and '70s crack of the comics. (Have you read Inferno? So weird.) Then again, Kurt has never been very lucky in the lady-departement, despite the fact that he's one big BAMF! I can only assume he's been saving himself for me.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:49 pm

Jay/Cris wrote:
Then again, Kurt has never been very lucky in the lady-departement, despite the fact that he's one big BAMF! I can only assume he's been saving himself for me.
Hmm, well, I can live with that. But if it does not work out, could you send him my way?
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Feb 20, 2013 3:12 pm

WD40 wrote:
Rant away.

IT READS LIKE A FUCKING FANFICTION

ROBERTS DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PROSE AND VISUAL STORYTELLING

LET THE FUCKING ARTISTS DO THEIR JOB WITH THE SHOWING SOMETIMES INSTEAD OF TELLING EVERYTHING

MAYBE, I DUNNO, RESOLVE ONE OF THE FIFTY BILLION ARCS YOU'VE INTRODUCED IN THE FIRST 14 ISSUES YOU SHITLORD
I DON'T HAVE THE REST OF MY LIFE TO GET THROUGH YOUR ROBOT VERSION OF THE ODYSSEY

YES YOU'VE OFFICIALLY INTRODUCED "M/M" CANON RELATIONSHIPS (IN A "GENDERLESS" RACE LOLOLOL) BUT YOU TOTALLY UNDO WHATEVER AMAZINGNESS THAT WAS BY BEING A SMUG SHIT ABOUT IT YOU WHITE CISHET "ALLY" PRICK

Ok I'm done.

I can't say anything anywhere else because I'm friends with half the IDW team and the unspoken rule of being in with pros is that you don't EVER talk shit about Total. And all my plebian fan friends worship the ground the writer walks on so yeah. Life is hard sometimes, guys
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:37 pm

Quick post to re-iterate this thread's title...

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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:39 pm

WD40 wrote:
Quick post to re-iterate this thread's title...

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I see that and raise you a Fletcher Hanks.
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Fletcher Hanks was a fucking genius and Stardust the Super Wizard is the best superhero in the history of ever. Trufax.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:54 pm

Incedentally, am I the only one who really hates Wonder Woman/ Superman as a couple?
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:40 pm

No.

To me Superman needs a 'normal' person because it helps to ground him. Also most of the time it just feels like Wonder Woman just found the one man who could beat her in battle. There are a lot of superhero couples that are great but not those two.
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:54 pm

On the Wonder Woman/Superman paring - yeah, I think it's dumb too. It's dumb because Supe's relationship with Lois is one of his defining features, it's a symbol of how connected he is with humans, how native he's gone and that he considers himself one of them, rather than above them.

That said, I can't help but this that the paring has been done more for Wonder Woman than Superman. I wouldn't put it past a DC editor to say: "We can't have a single woman out there - pair her off with someone, even our token lesbian has just asked to get married for Christ sake! But make sure she's put with someone who can swoop in and save her ass. That's what we need! Women getting in trouble and gettin' saved!"

I've got nothing to back up this assertion (I haven't read a full DC comic since before the reboot, and even then it was rare) but I wouldn't be surprised if something along those lines emerged.

I other comics news: Guardians of the Galaxy has its Drax the Destroyer in WWE performer Dave Bautista. I'm okay with this - Batista definitely looks the part and he's got form in Comicbook/superhero roles

I won't be fully happy unless they recreate this sequence, though:

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And from the wacky files, this comic has popped up in a few news feeds of mine recently, and I thought I'd share it.

Originally from Mystery in Space #8, this cover sets us up:

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Who will be the future masters of Earth? Those giant-head, cyclops guys with the funky boots?

No!


The answer is far more terrifying... For the future masters of Earth are...




Are...











Women!

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In a mere 120 years since the Earth federation made the tragic mistake of putting a woman in charge, the female advance didn't stop until women are in control of every facet of life, relegating the weak and inferior men to domestic tasks...


However, plucky young upstart Dexter feels that men can do things just as well as women, and sets out to prove himself as an equal to his female oppressors. He joins the Rocket Cadets.

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However, in a scheme to undermine the potential testosterone-fuelled social uprising, the headmistress of the Cadet school assigns Dexter to a squad of people training to take on the dangerous Thebor. A hazardous planet with a poisonous atmosphere, extreme gravity and dangerous electric storms.

The individuals assigned to this troop have to undergo tremendous physical training to withstand these elements - physical exercise that Dexter's frail male form can't possibly complete.

Also they are trained to be immune to electricity by being electrocuted over and over. Because SCIENCE! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

To everyone's surprise, Dexter aces the course, and is too good to be left off a dangerous mission to Thebor itself.

Not wanting to have a man screw up the mission with all his emotions and his handbags and whatever, the leader of the troop orders him to stay behind and guard the ship. However, plucky young Dexter believes he can be of use to the mission, so defies orders to prove what a good soldier he is.

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After learning that the mission has gone entirely tits up, the troop discovered and being pursued by Thebor warriors while their Captain, Stella, had tripped and sprained her ankle - a wound so devastating even to women that the rest of the troop had no choice but to leave her behind. Dexter, however, can't help but have his emotions cloud his better judgement and he puts himself into further trouble by heading into the fray to rescue Stella.

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What luck! Not only has he managed to slip into the compound and find Stella, but the Thebor are using Electro-pistols! And with his vigorous training of repeated electric shocks, Dexter is immune to electricity entirely, so their weapons have no effect!

With an incredible feat of strength, the match of any woman, Dexter lifts up his Captain and runs back to the ship, where the team make a heroic escape, and so Dexter is rewarded with a medal, proving that men can be just as capable as women!

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Pretty daft, eh? Well it doesn't end there... While the above panel could be a perfectly satisfactory ending to a silly story - this author decided to go one further, hence the reason this comic has become so infamous:

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... Brilliant!


Comics, everybody!







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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:07 pm

^ Pshhahahah what the fuck?

Quote :
"We can't have a single woman out there - pair her off with someone, even our token lesbian has just asked to get married for Christ sake! But make sure she's put with someone who can swoop in and save her ass. That's what we need! Women getting in trouble and gettin' saved!"
Yeah I always got that impression too. I would rather her either be alone or with a normal guy. I like how that dude she was originally hooked up with was functionally male-Lois. I mean, yeah he was a pilot and not a reporter, but it still amounted to the same thing - him constantly getting himself into trouble and being rescued. He even had a bit of Lois' 'trying to trick the superhero in getting married' thing if I recall. Or maybe he just wanted to date her? IDK, it has been a while since I read old-ass Wondy books.

Wondy/ Batman is not too bad either. I like how in the DCAU Batman was all, like, 'I can't have a girlfriend because she might get hurt' and Wondy was all, like 'bitch watch me crush this rock with my bare hands'.
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PostSubject: Re: COMICS R AWESOME!    Mon Mar 18, 2013 4:14 pm

I um... kinda love that comic WD40, aside from the very ending of course. It's the sort of pro-woman/feminist thing that would be acceptable to the dicks in charge of the comic code while going "How would YOU feel men?"

Ok, the ending sucked ass. But hey, comic code of the day. Can't have women being powerful and men need to show just how much in charge they are.
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