Final Fantasy designers don't know how to use a gun

(since I'm not a Final Fantasy person, I have no idea if this is Old News or not. I saw these today, and I lol'd. Then I sighed.)

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Revealing costumes aside, we know those are always going to happen until sex stop selling video games. I.E. never. Really, though, what's the excuse for such nonsensical weapons? It's about as "badass" as a 13-year-old who thinks you can make a super-sword by attaching a gun to a sword that shoots other swords.

... Except they actually did that.
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No. Sword goes in scabbard and scabbard goes on body.
Thing looks like it would just fall apart with so many attached pieces.

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Square, you've got a hard-on for shpants, don't you? Multi-coloured, gold-empellished, asymetrical drop-crotch shpants

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Your poor, sheltered designers have never held a bow, either. That bow makes no goddamn sense. None.

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What.

WHAT.

P.S. lolheadband.

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SWORDAXESWORD!

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BOWAXECHOPPYTHING!

(Also, if that bow functions the way I think it does, those blades swing towards YOU as you shoot. Awesome idea.)

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NONE OF US KNOW HOW TO USE THESE SHITTY WEAPONS!

Sakurelf wrote:

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What.

WHAT.

P.S. lolheadband.

It wasn't untill I saw the groupshot at the end that I realised exactly what this weapon actually looked like... That is Cloud Strife levels of humongous there!

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SWORDAXESWORD!

I saw that^ And thought this


You know, FF13 made a convincing case for the Gunblade. It works... kinda. And a bow that turns into an axe/sword would rank pretty high on my awesome list.. and as for humongo-blade-thing... Fuck it, I've always been an Auron fan... Under normal circumstances I'd be fighting this game's corner to let it have it's stupid-awesome weapons beacuse MAGIC!

But... FF13 is possibly the worst game I've ever bought for my PS3 (and I've bought Gundam: Target in sight and Mortal Kombat Vs. D.C. Universe) so anything related to it can go to hell.

Sakurelf wrote:

... Except they actually did that.
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I keep thinking of D'Argo's sword/gun, but his was cool and didn't shoot other swords, just laserstuff.

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You know, FF13 made a convincing case for the Gunblade. It works... kinda.

How would it work? And this is from someone who has had some basic sword training. When I think of the concept, there's no way to aim a gun the way you hold a sword. By nature, they're too heavy to hold at arm's length and get an accurate shot.

The only way they would be effective was if you were in close range and had already stabbed the person, but wanted to do more damage. But then they're just redundant because you've already stabbed them.

Those are some ugly designs.

Sorry for stating the obvious, but god. I'm usually okay with style over function in a video game, but I guess in this game they decided neither of those were needed.

Sakurelf wrote:

(since I'm not a Final Fantasy person, I have no idea if this is Old News or not.

Well, that'd at least explained why you're so shocked by this.

Final Fantasy costumes and weapons went full retard in FF8 and then kicked into aftertarder. Throttle's been stuck open ever since.

Penguin wrote:

Sakurelf wrote:

(since I'm not a Final Fantasy person, I have no idea if this is Old News or not.

Well, that'd at least explained why you're so shocked by this.

Final Fantasy costumes and weapons went full retard in FF8 and then kicked into aftertarder. Throttle's been stuck open ever since.

Well, I don't live under a rock; I know of the stuff from FF7, 8 and 10. Other games, not so much. It seems like once they got their hands on insanely detailed graphics, it stopped mattering what those graphics were of.

Sakurelf wrote:

Quote :

You know, FF13 made a convincing case for the Gunblade. It works... kinda.

How would it work? And this is from someone who has had some basic sword training. When I think of the concept, there's no way to aim a gun the way you hold a sword. By nature, they're too heavy to hold at arm's length and get an accurate shot.

The only way they would be effective was if you were in close range and had already stabbed the person, but wanted to do more damage. But then they're just redundant because you've already stabbed them.

If you were talking about the original gunblade (One of the offenders that Prinny mentioned from FF8 - The other main one being a wrist-mounted crossbow modified for the ballistic application of a Golden Retriever half German shepherd, half border collie. 1:15 on this video) then you'd be right. Fucking thing doesn't even have a barrel... And yet pulling the trigger, apparently, does something...

Stupid fucking thing in hindsight. I will admit that when I first played the game, I just swallowed it no questions asked... Hating the Gunblade is a rather recent addition to my list of reasons to hate FF8... It ranks really low on the list of things that game does wrong.

FF13 took the idea and make it plausible, at least, in the techno-magical world it was set in... Now it does this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So it's a rifle that transforms into a gun... Because bayonets are old hat.

Much cooler. But, unfortunately, in a far, FAR worse game.

Sakurelf wrote:

Well, I don't live under a rock; I know of the stuff from FF7, 8 and 10. Other games, not so much. It seems like once they got their hands on insanely detailed graphics, it stopped mattering what those graphics were of.

8 was where they seemed to want to test what they could get away with. 7 had a gritty feel to it, 8 was "look how cuh-RAZY our pretty buildings are!"

With each game the background architecture got more and more ridiculous, and since the characters were supposed to fit into these worlds, so did their outfits and weapons.

Funny thing is, I actually like the concept art for this outfit for Lightning better than her original FF13 costume. Now that stupid half-cape is gone.

WD40 wrote:

You know, FF13 made a convincing case for the Gunblade. It works... kinda.

Not really. The only time you see Lightning use hers, it's either in a cutscene, or just an excuse for her to backflip in an attack combo. All that her version of a gunblade would do for you is give you a less-sturdy sword and an inaccurate gun. I'd argue that Squall's, which just uses a gun-like charge as some sort of rocket boost for the blade, would make more sense... if only for the fact that recoil would actually weaken the blows.

Real-life gunblades were short, and only existed for a brief time as people tried to figure out how to use guns most effectively. They were essentially long knives/short swords built around the muzzle of a pistol.

Anything you could use a gunblade for, an assault rifle with bayonet mounted would be infinitely more effective. Or hell, even this:

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And a bow that turns into an axe/sword would rank pretty high on my awesome list..

FF's recent need for transforming weapons (like a pair of pistols that somehow turn into a single rifle) just annoys me. Like Cloud's zillions of swords in Advent Children: You're meant to be hitting things with these, right? You do realize that if these weapons get even slightly warped or even broken, the whole package is rendered useless?

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and as for humongo-blade-thing... Fuck it, I've always been an Auron fan... Under normal circumstances I'd be fighting this game's corner to let it have it's stupid-awesome weapons beacuse MAGIC!

Yeah, giant weapons have always been FF.

Sakurelf wrote:

How would it work? And this is from someone who has had some basic sword training. When I think of the concept, there's no way to aim a gun the way you hold a sword. By nature, they're too heavy to hold at arm's length and get an accurate shot.

You could use both hands, but she only does that in the odd cutscene. Because holding it at arm's length in a dueler's stance* is so much cooler-looking to the player. Even if it is inherently less stable with little control over recoil.

*I like shooting pistols like this, but it's a bad habit.

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The only way they would be effective was if you were in close range and had already stabbed the person, but wanted to do more damage. But then they're just redundant because you've already stabbed them.

To be fair, people usually need to be stabbed more than once to be incapacitated in a timely fashion. Shooting them before/after stabbing them doesn't exactly hurt you.

Hahaha I'm so edgy that even my sword has piercings!~~

Penguin wrote:

[Gunblades and pistol-bayonett.]

In the meantime Cervantes has been knocking around with these things for about 2 games now...

They're cool right?

Tiny barrels, aiming with that giant pendulum-like weight over them... nope. You'd never hit anything with them, and even if you did, you'd do a lot less damage than you could've done by just hitting them with the sword again.

Also, there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid shooting yourself on the down swing.

Penguin wrote:

Tiny barrels, aiming with that giant pendulum-like weight over them... nope. You'd never hit anything with them, and even if you did, you'd do a lot less damage than you could've done by just hitting them with the sword again.

Also, there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid shooting yourself on the down swing.

Or like, holding it up, shooting, and then having the recoil smack the blade right down onto your head. Hilarious way to die.

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Hahaha I'm so edgy that even my sword has piercings!~~

I like to think they're keychain rings. Keys, chapstick, hello kitty charms. All at the tip of a blade.

Sakurelf wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Tiny barrels, aiming with that giant pendulum-like weight over them... nope. You'd never hit anything with them, and even if you did, you'd do a lot less damage than you could've done by just hitting them with the sword again.

Also, there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid shooting yourself on the down swing.

Or like, holding it up, shooting, and then having the recoil smack the blade right down onto your head. Hilarious way to die.

Recoil isn't that hard, especially with pistol rounds that'll fit in a weapon that size. Although this gives me an idea...

Penguin wrote:

Tiny barrels, aiming with that giant pendulum-like weight over them... nope. You'd never hit anything with them, and even if you did, you'd do a lot less damage than you could've done by just hitting them with the sword again.

Also, there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid shooting yourself on the down swing.

I said 'cool' not 'practical'.


... spoilsport.. :p

Penguin wrote:

Sakurelf wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Tiny barrels, aiming with that giant pendulum-like weight over them... nope. You'd never hit anything with them, and even if you did, you'd do a lot less damage than you could've done by just hitting them with the sword again.

Also, there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid shooting yourself on the down swing.

Or like, holding it up, shooting, and then having the recoil smack the blade right down onto your head. Hilarious way to die.

Recoil isn't that hard, especially with pistol rounds that'll fit in a weapon that size. Although this gives me an idea...

For a woman this size?



I imagine that's exactly what would happen.

*And the whole "you should be holding it properly" argument couldn't really apply since the point is to be using it as a sword, then use its gun function as needed. That would mean that in combat, you're holding it like a sword, which is no way to hold a gun and vice versa.

That's still not enough to send the sword through anyone's skull, and the .50AE DEagle is a beastly handcannon. Pretty much anything you could stuff into a hilt that'd come out of those little barrels isn't going to kick that hard, especially since it's probably black powder.

EDIT: Also, I can rapid-fire the .44 version one-handed without smacking myself in the face, thankyouverymuch.

Perhaps my original statement was a bit of overkill*. You probably wouldn't die from the recoil knocking the sword into your head, but you'd miss your shot, give yourself a nasty cut, and by the time you've recovered, your enemy has probably stopped laughing and finished you off themselves.


*or just... kill.

I always figured the gunblade is FF8 fired by techno-magic, IIRC they shot wads of light rather than bullets. My question is, can you swing a sword held like a rifle w/o breaking your wrist?

Sure, why not?

Penguin wrote:

Sure, why not?

Try it...

Hold your hand as though holding a gun. Then, keeping your arm straight, point your 'gun' at the ceiling.

At about 30-40 degrees, it'll start getting uncomfortable... and, unless you've got pretty supple wrists, you'll not be able to move your hand much more beyond that.



Now imagine bringing a sword down on something using the same grip.


At best, your weapon will be knocked out of your hand. At worst you'll break your wrist.

At least, that's how I see it.

Sakurelf wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Sakurelf wrote:

(since I'm not a Final Fantasy person, I have no idea if this is Old News or not.

Well, that'd at least explained why you're so shocked by this.

Final Fantasy costumes and weapons went full retard in FF8 and then kicked into aftertarder. Throttle's been stuck open ever since.

Well, I don't live under a rock; I know of the stuff from FF7, 8 and 10. Other games, not so much. It seems like once they got their hands on insanely detailed graphics, it stopped mattering what those graphics were of.

No kidding. It makes me wonder in the designers are capable of actually dressing themselves IRL, or if they happen to think these sort of dipshit outfits are normal.

But I haven't seen weapons as over the top as this in any game I've played. Sure, some were quite "ornamental" (like a sword that wasn't just a cutting edge on a metal pole, but a fancy shaped, colored contraption), but they all appeared to still function practically. Two of the three items in the Muramasa pic look like unwieldy clusterfucks. Azrael's bow looks like something that weighs twice as much as a more practical design would, and the fucking arrows are crooked.

The last Final Fantasy game I played was XI (rest in peace, greatest MMO of all time), and most of the junk in that game was within reason, with a large portion of it being totally unremarkable. I guess they started paying design teams in LSD since then.

WD40 wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Sure, why not?

Try it...

Hold your hand as though holding a gun. Then, keeping your arm straight, point your 'gun' at the ceiling.

At about 30-40 degrees, it'll start getting uncomfortable... and, unless you've got pretty supple wrists, you'll not be able to move your hand much more beyond that.



Now imagine bringing a sword down on something using the same grip.


At best, your weapon will be knocked out of your hand. At worst you'll break your wrist.

At least, that's how I see it.

What the hell are you talking about? If you wanted to swing a rifle like you would a sword, you grip the rifle as usual with your right hand (assuming you're pulling the trigger with your right hand) and swing it like a sword. You're not going to break your wrist. If your finger is in a trigger guard, you may break that, however.

And

Use

The

Enter

Key


MOAR

whydon'tyou

I think I see where the disconnect is. I should probably preface this with the fact that ever since guns first saw combat, people have been hitting other people with them.

First, FF8's gunblades have a pistol grip. So if you're pointing your sword at someone, congratulations, you're in the classic fencer's stance with an ideal grip. If you raise your sword up over your head, your wrist is actually at a more natural angle, and a swing impact shouldn't bother you too much. Squall's gunblades are a bit fat and more for swinging, but a more svelte weapon would probably be better-suited to thrusting in this configuration.

But with a more conventional angle, as there appears to be with Lightning's gunblades, it's still not a problem.

Besides... again, people have been hitting each other with guns ("pistol whip," "butt smash," "butt stroke," "bayonet thrust," etc) for centuries. I've smashed a training dummy about with a dummy M16* and neither the gun nor my wrists were broken.

*Just like the real thing for training, only it can't be modified to fire ammunition.

My gut instinct is to say that trying to cut a person is sort of different than trying to bludgeon a person; you do not have to twist your wrist around to make sure the edge is facing the correct direction for one. However, I know very little about either swordplay or guns, so I will differ to your judgement.

Still looks hella wrong to me.

I'm sorry, but, wtf is wrong with you people.

This is a series of games with Airships that look like this, people run around with demonic personifications of fire living in their heads, and THIS is one of the most deadly and damaging things in final fantasy history.

You are debating whether the shape of a sword hilt is actually practical, you people are what is wrong with the internet! (especially seeing as the main problem is how high up from the hilt the damn trigger is not the shape of the hilt itself, honestly people)