So very, very Purple Char. Desc.

I found this lovely gem in WORA:

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Quote :

Lustrous hair so very pale -- cool, liquid silver, by the warm tint of gold unsullied -- spills unbound in a rippling cascade of moonlit tresses over her shoulders and back, past that sinuous line of waist and hips. Straying curls of argent hue caress and in brightness edge a face all steep planes and angles, a union of features both fineboned and strong. High, prominent cheekbones, defying a classically oval mold, define its character -- favouring exotically handsome rather than merely beautiful -- and a straight nose, a sensual mouth by smiles rarely touched and the sharp slant from firmly set jaw to narrow chin complete the image. Conspiciuosly dark, slender brows and a lush, lightly upswept fringe of lengthy lashes frame slightly tilted eyes, vibrant indigo a mere shade away from lightless ebon, but do not obscure the undauntable boldness of her gaze. Or the maelstrom of emotions that smolders just beneath the inky surface, yet rarely reflects upon her duskily gilded countenance. Sleekly toned -- a smooth, pleasant blend of soft, feminine curves and long, lean muscles -- her body hints at wiry strength, complimented by the lithesome grace and fluency which her every move betrays. Though, seldom it is that she appears truly at ease, and yet there is about her not a trace of shyness or fear. Fiercly proud, haughty even, her demeanour, more than suggesting the defiantly willful disposition of one who, stubbornly unyielding, would break before she ever bends.

Emeraldine silk of a dark hue graces her slenderly curvaceous form -- admirably well set off by the cut of the short, fitted coat and the narrow, for riding divided skirt -- and the rich nuance of green compliments the contrast of light and dark which she herself embodies in the colour of her hair and eyes, and in the dusky tone of her skin. Buttons of tarnished silver, a row of them from right shoulder to the garment's end, seal the fabric tight about her, the soft swell of her bosom in a tastefully elegant manner accentuated, and black and argent twine together in lavish embroideries upon the broad cuffs that finish off the sleeves, as well as upon the stiff and chin-high collar, a narrow V in front left open as if to avoid a too strict appearance. Hugging close to the inviting curve of narrow waist softly flaring into wider, pleasantly rounded hips, then falling in shallow folds about well-toned legs to just above her ankles, the skirt flatters her lithe and feminine figure, though remains practical still. Boots of supple, ebon leather are revealed below the hemline, and a matching belt is worn as well; tucked in behind it a sheated knife with a rather plain handle and a pair of gloves of soft, black skin. Completing her outfit is a dark, knee-length cloak, trimmed with fur along hood and edges.

The lulz surrounding this description and the reaction to it, are recorded in WORA.

My god, I don't think I've seen anything that purple since...since...god I don't even remember. OK so it's not as purple as some godawful things I've seen, but still. The person who wrote it pitched a fit, blaming the US Education system for turning out people that couldn't appreciate her writing (she's from Sweden). My god, even ESL is no excuse for this.

My god... That's such a deep shade of purple I can't even read it. It's almost black. This whole thing honestly says NOTHING at all to me.

your mom wrote:

My god... That's such a deep shade of purple I can't even read it. It's almost black. This whole thing honestly says NOTHING at all to me.

Yeah, what is it about MU* fanbrats that think that they're clever by using a crapload of words to say absolutely nothing?

Also, this is probably the least of the author's problems, but is it so wrong to think she should be more consistent in her spelling choice? She's got "favouring" and "demeanour", and then she's got "smolders". FAIL. I mean, are you spelling British-style, or aren't you?

I love her threats of litigation. Big-name published authors can get away with something like that. Fanbrats generally can not.

Woah, looks like Eye of Argon has a new contender.

All that and I still can't picture what she looks like.

socke puppette wrote:

All that and I still can't picture what she looks like.

I know. I forced myself to re-read it numerous times, and still came away with no real idea how she looks. It's like we're dealing with the Mega Uber-Sue of all Sues here: She's so lovely, we cannot conceive of her beauty.

Quote :

Lustrous hair so very pale -- cool, liquid silver, by the warm tint of gold unsullied

Okay so she is blonde.... but not golden blonde? Like silver or something?

Quote :

Straying curls of argent hue caress and in brightness edge a face all steep planes and angles, a union of features both fineboned and strong.

And her bangs are ...a different shade of silver. While her face is delicate and strong at the same time. Leave it to a Sue to decide to be both.

Quote :

High, prominent cheekbones, defying a classically oval mold, define its character

For some reason, I imagine molded jello that someone stuck some cheekbones in. That is as far as I managed to get before the sparkles blinded me, hopefully my vision will return before I have to drive to work.

I... must draw this.

EDIT: whatever happened to the GAFF Suedolls?

socke puppette wrote:

All that and I still can't picture what she looks like.

Avatar <3!

Sakurelf wrote:

I... must draw this.

EDIT: whatever happened to the GAFF Suedolls?

The person who was making them removed them, sadly; I don't remember why, I think she was just tired of keeping them on her site. You can still see some if you use the Way Back Machine to see a few of the ones still intact. Otherwise, most of them are gone. I think the website used to be Mimi's Grotto.

Not only can I barely get past the first paragraph, and not only can I not picture the character, but I hardly understand half of the words she's using.

See, this is why I limit most of my character descriptions to stuff like "She was about five feet tall, with sleek black fur and eyes as cold and as green as emeralds."

Okay so it's no essay, but it leaves most of the description to the imagination of the reader, and I've always found that helps me get immersed in the story better.

Nonsense Words wrote:

Quote :

Lustrous hair so very pale -- cool, liquid silver, by the warm tint of gold unsullied

Okay so she is blonde.... but not golden blonde? Like silver or something?

White. The word for hair this color is white. The character's hair is white.

I....I....I think it broke my brain. *eyetwitch* Let me see if I can figure this out.

Quote :

Lustrous hair so very pale -- cool, liquid silver, by the warm tint of gold unsullied -- spills unbound in a rippling cascade of moonlit tresses over her shoulders and back, past that sinuous line of waist and hips. Straying curls of argent hue caress and in brightness edge a face all steep planes and angles, a union of features both fineboned and strong.

Translate: She has long silver hair and angular facial features.

Quote :

High, prominent cheekbones, defying a classically oval mold, define its character -- favouring exotically handsome rather than merely beautiful -- and a straight nose, a sensual mouth by smiles rarely touched and the sharp slant from firmly set jaw to narrow chin complete the image. Conspiciuosly dark, slender brows and a lush, lightly upswept fringe of lengthy lashes frame slightly tilted eyes, vibrant indigo a mere shade away from lightless ebon, but do not obscure the undauntable boldness of her gaze. Or the maelstrom of emotions that smolders just beneath the inky surface, yet rarely reflects upon her duskily gilded countenance.

Translate: High cheekbones, straight nose, and a sharp chin. Her eyes are a deep purple. She has dark skin.

Quote :

Sleekly toned -- a smooth, pleasant blend of soft, feminine curves and long, lean muscles -- her body hints at wiry strength, complimented by the lithesome grace and fluency which her every move betrays. Though, seldom it is that she appears truly at ease, and yet there is about her not a trace of shyness or fear. Fiercly proud, haughty even, her demeanour, more than suggesting the defiantly willful disposition of one who, stubbornly unyielding, would break before she ever bends.

Translate: Lean, but muscular. Seems tense, yet confident at the same time.

Quote :

Emeraldine silk of a dark hue graces her slenderly curvaceous form -- admirably well set off by the cut of the short, fitted coat and the narrow, for riding divided skirt -- and the rich nuance of green compliments the contrast of light and dark which she herself embodies in the colour of her hair and eyes, and in the dusky tone of her skin. Buttons of tarnished silver, a row of them from right shoulder to the garment's end, seal the fabric tight about her, the soft swell of her bosom in a tastefully elegant manner accentuated, and black and argent twine together in lavish embroideries upon the broad cuffs that finish off the sleeves, as well as upon the stiff and chin-high collar, a narrow V in front left open as if to avoid a too strict appearance. Hugging close to the inviting curve of narrow waist softly flaring into wider, pleasantly rounded hips, then falling in shallow folds about well-toned legs to just above her ankles, the skirt flatters her lithe and feminine figure, though remains practical still. Boots of supple, ebon leather are revealed below the hemline, and a matching belt is worn as well; tucked in behind it a sheated knife with a rather plain handle and a pair of gloves of soft, black skin. Completing her outfit is a dark, knee-length cloak, trimmed with fur along hood and edges.

Translate: Wearing a green silk ?dress? and a tight coat with silver buttons. Has black leather boots and a matching belt with a sheathed knife. Also wearing black kidskin gloves and a knee-length cloak with fur trim.

Still a bit of the WTF factor in there. And, my brain still feels broken.

So... give Storm purple eyes and she would be it?

If it looks like a Sue, talks like a Sue and shats like a Sue it must be Perfect, right?

If you read her website, it becomes apparent that she is crazy.

She's made a picture for this passage here!
It's such a disappointment. I was expecting some sort of chimera.

She has about ten other characters, here, and the prose is just as purple.

I think her self-insert character is someone called "Aisling" because under the character's persona it describes essentially the same ideas expressed in her personal bio. But then again all her characters are friggin the same, just with different colours.

Because changing the hair-colour means the personality changes, oui? Oh, what depth!

sounds like if I tried to kiss her she'd immediately fall apart into a bunch of geometrical shapes.