Xiaolin Showdown nonsense

Ahh, Xiaolin Showdown. Truly one of those series enjoyable despite any age range. Exciting, vibrant, bright colors and stylish action for youngsters; compelling characters with good development, excellent writing and good story for older audience.

Too bad a good majority of the fanfiction sucks! Especially when an author writes something like Megan's adventure, with a summary of:

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Jack's cousin Megan goes on her own adventure without Jack knowing only later he finds out.

But even the author can't deliver on that!

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Hey this is my first fic so please go easy on me. Oh yeah the only reason rai can't tell omi who his doctor is because he doesn't know.

Omi was at the docters office in the waiting room however he had been there for quite a while now and wasn't sure how much longer he had to wait so he walked up to the receptionist desk.

"Excuse me how much longer do I have to wait?" Asked Omi.

"Not much longer." Said Raimundo.

...What the fuck? What kind of start is that?

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"Raimando you work here?" Asked Omi.

"Yes guess who your nurse is." Said Raimundo.

"Who?" Asked Omi.

"Kimiko." Said Raimundo.

Well great! When did Kimiko get her Nurse's degree?

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"Then who is my docter?" Asked Omi.

"I can't tell you." Said Raimundo.

"Why?" Asked Omi.

"Because this author is making this story up as they go and doesn't know shit."

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"I just can't." Said Raimundo.

Kimiko comes in.

"Ok Omi your up."Said Kimiko.

Omi: "I do not have an up, Kimiko. What is an up, is it terminal? Am I going to die?"
Kimiko: "Omi, you're over-reacting..."
Omi: "Pleeeease Nurse Kimiko! Cure me of this up!"
Raimundo:

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Omi follows Kimiko.

"You look really beautiful that way." Said Omi.

"Thanks." Said Kimiko.

"Do you know who my docter is?" Asked Omi.

"Yes he is Clay." Said Kimiko.

Omi: "You mean the doctor is made of clay, or the doctor is Clay? Or that doctor is a sculpture of Clay made from clay?" [Holds his head] "My head hurts so much..."

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"Well Omi it's finally your turn by the way do you mind having your appoiment with another paintent?"Asked Clay.

"No not at all um where is the other person?" Asked Omi.

"Oh our assistant nurse Dojo is bringing him." Said Clay.

"Wait the other person is a boy?" Asked Omi.

Sweet Optimus Christ, this story doesn't end! And don't think I'm not skipping any part of this chapter, this is all it is! It's dialogue! I feel like I'm reading, The Day They Came to Arrest the Book all over again.

There's no getting through this without the urge to snap someone's neck. The author is either really new and stupid, or just doesn't know what they want to write. The way it just goes on without any real progression is painful and it's like reading legolas.

There's another chapter now.

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"Orb of toonami!" Said Omi.

Fuck yeah! (a tidal wave of anime characters crushes everything)

TheIan wrote:

There's no getting through this without the urge to snap someone's neck.

Sure there is...drink lots of beer.

Ian: I am not sure I can say this without sounding condescending, but this is a better snark than your last one.

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Omi: "I do not have an up, Kimiko. What is an up, is it terminal? Am I going to die?"
Kimiko: "Omi, you're over-reacting..."
Omi: "Pleeeease Nurse Kimiko! Cure me of this up!"

I liked seeing this bit in particular. It makes fun of the your/ you're grammatical error w/o just being a rant about what a stupid error that is. As a bonus it plays off a common running gag from the show.

There is something about the exact wording that does not flow as well as it could, but I am unable to put my finger on what. Actually, I have that problem with the script format jokes I make myself. I loved them when Delcat did them but I have trouble recreating her comedic timing. Still, I would like to see you make more jokes like this.

Disclaimer: Everything expressed in this post in Reepicheep-chan's opinion and probably does not reflect the opinions of any other member of this forum. In fact, no two members of this forum seems to be able to agree what this forum is even for or what kinds of posts are good posts so damn. Reepicheep-chan wants all posts to be like Ziess and Decat's posts were, apparently.

Quijotesca: LO effing L.

I just don't get the point of this. Why are they playing doctor? Why do Omi and Jack have to wear diapers? Why do random characters keep showing up for no reason at all? Nothing is ever explained!

Probably because the author's too stoned or hung-over to think of any explanations.