Bella Has A Scared

So me and my good friend your mom are drunk, and we decided to snark a completely retarded Freddy Krueger/Twilight fanfic. It can be found here.

So I'm not really sure what the plot is here. Basically Freddy is going after Bella. BECAUSE ALL THE GUYS WANT HER. ALL OF THEM.

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the other night I had a horrible dream I woke screaming of Charlie dying and me getting up for adoption and going to a bad family away from Edward and the rest of the Cullen's

FreakEgg: Just...... what?
Your Mom: Could use some punctuation, maybe. Just a suggestion.

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(a/n I just want you to know this part may not make sense but this is a dream)

FreakEgg: Because all the Freddy movies always warn you when its a dream, with huge text that reads "WARNING, THIS IS A DREAM"
Your Mom: Way to spoiler your own story, genius.

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Jessica Stanley went to Mike Newton house and found his body hanging from the ceiling his intestines had fallen out looking like a bear had clawed at him penetrating from the inside like something had scratched out his stomach police say that there searching for the killer no new so far this is forks Washington news

FreakEgg: Okay, hes disembowled. We got the point.

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I went to sleep at 5:00 this evening and now its 10:00.

FreakEgg: So, is she keeping track of time in her dream, or did she wake up? Is this even the dream still???
Your Mom: I guess she woke up and looked at the clock, because what time it is must be important to the plot.

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I turned on the light I gasped and screamed there was blood everywhere there were white it was all sticky with blood going to the kitchen

FreakEgg: THERE WERE WALLS, THERE WERE DOORS... DON'T MAKE ME RE-LIVE IT!
Your Mom: "it was all sticky with blood going to the kitchen" .....WHAT was? IT was? whats IT??

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I wanted Edward my angel the scary chuckle came back and I was in a boiler room it was red and screams echoed off the wall soft pleas escaped a small child I turned to face me and I wish I never did her eyes were covered with a bandages mouth was stitched up nose bleeding and a stick figure for a body I turned to go and I gasped as I felt a hand on my with claws

FreakEgg: Say WHAAAAAAT?
Your Mom: This person needs to know what punctuation is.

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I looked up at the person and I screamed I was scared and I wanted the Cullen's even Rosaline too protect me.

FreakEgg: Now, I'm not even a Twilight fan.... but I'm pretty sure that chicks name is Rosalie. I could be wrong though.

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(A/N this is the real description from the Wikipedia I did not want to type it all so I was lazy)

Freddy's physical appearance has remained largely consistent throughout the film series, although minor changes were made in subsequent films. He wears a striped red and green sweater (with solid red sleeves in the original film, and striped sleeves from the second film onwards, a dark brown fedora, his bladed glove (see below), loose brown trousers (blue jeans in the original film), and worn working boots, keeping with his blue collar background. His skin is scarred and burned as a result of being burned alive by the parents of Springwood, and he has no hair at all on his head as it was presumably all burned off; in the original film, only Freddy's face was burned, while they have spread to the rest of his body from the second film onwards. Additionally, his teeth are in rather poor shape; in the first three films, they are simply filthy and brown, but from the fourth film onwards, he is missing a lot of them. For reasons never elaborated on, his blood is occasionally a dark, oily color, or greenish in hue. In the original film, Freddy remains in the shadows and under lower light much longer than he does in the later pictures. In the second film, there are some scenes where Freddy is shown without his glove, and instead with the blades protruding from the tips of his fingers.

FreakEgg: Is she fucking serious? Like... really? WHO DOES THAT!??
Your Mom: Dude, not cool. If I wanted to read Wikipedia, I'd go to Wikipedia.

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I shook my head I did not want to be here with this thing I wanted the Cullen.

''help!'' I screamed and was reward with laughing then I got cut across my stomach so deep everything started getting dark I screamed louder then before then I woke up I looked around and then my stomach oh god it was hanging out I got my phone and dialed charlise number he picked up.

'' Bells whats a matter?'' he asked

'' hurry'' I whispered then blacked out

FreakEgg: Best ending to a Twilight story ever. Lets hope the author never updates, and Bella stays blacked out forever, and we never have to read Freddy vs Edward.
Your Mom: Agreed.

FreakEgg & Your Mom:

This is the first time I've ever seen a Wikipedia article actually just copied into a story. Really...how can you even get that lazy?

What is with the crappy rewritten Fresh Prince song at the beginning?

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[Fresh Prince:] Now I have a story that I'd like to tell
About this guy you all know him, he had me scared as hell!
He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!
He wears the same hat and sweater every single day
And even if it's hot, outside he wears it anyway!
He's gone when I'm awake but he shows up when I'm asleep
I can't believe that there's a nightmare - on my street!

This goes on for half the chapter

Why is this getting good reviews? I shouldn't be surprised, but still that never failing occurence keep chipping away at the last grains of my faith in humanity.

Are you guy's kidding? This is going to be the best story ever! Everyone's going to die horrid deaths and.. and...

Ok screw it. They're going to end up riding away in the sunset together with the bad spelling. But a girl can always dream.

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3 reviews please then I will update

She didn't say good reviews.

How much do you want to bet the kid's never seen any of the movies whether original or remade?

Vanilla-villa wrote:

What is with the crappy rewritten Fresh Prince song at the beginning?

Actually, that's a real song.

Story not found.

EileenK98 wrote:

Story not found.

Damn. Now we'll never find out what happened!