Mass Effect 2

Can't complain much about this game, but Jesus H. Fucking Christ, it's a fucking chore to get any lesbian action going. I've been running like crazy to every possible female, listening to their whining, pretending to care about their emotions and completing all shit they want done, but so far all I've gotten is a hug from Kelly.

Cheesh, at least in the first game, you could bang that asari hooker as soon as you set foot on the Citadel.


Also, the Professor recommending not swallow Garrus' jizz, was pretty awesome.

And then for a legitimate complaint:

Spoiler:

Vile, I bet you are upset to learn that there were no orc women to ravish.

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I can't deny, that I'm always looking for muscular women in any video game. Sadly, none to be found in ME2 [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Also, that orcess really needs to trim her ass hair. And that weapon is just an accident waiting to happen.

I can't be the only one irritated by the relative dirth of weapon and armor choices, or the removal of the MAKO, or those godforsaken thermal clips.

Dr Duck wrote:

I can't be the only one irritated by the relative dirth of weapon and armor choices, or the removal of the MAKO, or those godforsaken thermal clips.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

ME1's weapons and armor system was ridiculous. If you wanted armor or weapons that was a TRUE upgrade to what you already had instead of a lame trade-off, you often had to wait, piling up tons and tons of obsolete gear. It was almost as bad as fucking Borderlands is in that regard.
Same went for ammo upgrades, which only really came into their own at high levels. The only drawback is that without constantly dumping loads of crap gear on merchants, affording upgrades can be tricky.

Hell, you couldn't even customize the appearance. A hilarious coincidence of level scaling once had almost my entire elite spec ops team outfitted in white and pink armor.

THE MAKO IFV WAS THE WORST THING EVER AND I DO NOT MOURN ITS PASSING ONE BIT. The only thing negative about it being stuck permanently inside the cargo hold was its replacement of a really boring planet probing system, which was ALMOST worth it if you try it on a certain planet in our solar system.

And thermal clips make so much more sense than the overheating bullshit from the first one AND they're quick and easy SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HERE

I hate you with all my hate.

VileCorp wrote:

Also, that orcess really needs to trim her ass hair. And that weapon is just an accident waiting to happen.

Spiked chain FTW... Could be worse, she could be using a Gyrspike...

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[/D&D nerdery]

This one does not have time for your excretory secretions.

Dr Duck wrote:

I can't be the only one irritated by the relative dirth of weapon and armor choices, or the removal of the MAKO, or those godforsaken thermal clips.

The lack of weapon and armor annoyed me too. I like being able to ALWAYS have something new and shiny to experiment with on the Great Evil/Pure Innocents standing near me.

I don't see the problem with thermal clips. That stupid fucking Battle Rifle piece of shit always ran out of ammo a third of the way through the mission, but that isn't really something against thermal clips.

Dr Duck wrote:

I can't be the only one irritated by the relative dirth of weapon and armor choices, or the removal of the MAKO, or those godforsaken thermal clips.

Yes, you CAN be the only one irritated. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

VileCorp: There are no lesbian relationships possible in Mass Effect 2. After you beat the game you can have people sent up to your room for cuddling, but no same-sex romance options exist. Sorry.

The people who miss the Mako aren't pining for what it was, they miss what it meant; free and open exploration of hostile alien worlds with lots to see and do. The way this was implemented in ME1 was pretty damn terrible; between the wonky controls, randomly generated height maps, and hordes of bugs it was an easy thing to hate. I wish they could have tightened up the Mako experience a little bit, rather than give us this stripped-down and boring prospecting mini-game.

I'm surprised this game runs so much better on my machine than ME1 did. Usually sequels run worse on older hardware, not better.

Oh Garrus, you are so kawaiiii~ [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Two things I recently realized I hate about ME2.

1.) You can only take one of the super duper weapons from that first Collector ship you invaded. No fucking explanation for why I couldn't pick up the new shotgun and sniper rifle like I did with the assault rifle. Even if you go through a second playthrough, when you already have one of the pimping upgrades, they don't let you take another.

Total

Horseshit.

Spoiler:

Yeah where the FUCK are the homosexual relationships?
They said there would be a male/male in ME2, but there isn't, and Kelly 'doesn't count' for some reason. Then if you try with Samara, she acts like a fucking bitch about it. What she does goes beyond "tease" and into "sadistic manipulation". GRRR.

Electron Blue wrote:

Yeah where the FUCK are the homosexual relationships?
They said there would be a male/male in ME2, but there isn't, and Kelly 'doesn't count' for some reason. Then if you try with Samara, she acts like a fucking bitch about it. What she does goes beyond "tease" and into "sadistic manipulation". GRRR.

Dragon Age allows for gaysexxors. Albeit the male character involved is a raging bisexual man-slut. Make of that what you will.

Quote :

There are no lesbian relationships possible in Mass Effect 2. After you beat the game you can have people sent up to your room for cuddling, but no same-sex romance options exist. Sorry.

Like a couple of the others mentioned, there is Kelly, but for some reason she isn't counted as a "real" romance. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


You can get this scene with her and watch her little dance, but that's about it.

That explains how she paid for college.

Also, don't put YouTube videos in spoilers. When you try to press the play button, the spoiler closes.

Really? It's always worked for me when I've clicked on videos in spoiler links. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] But I'll keep that in mind--and since we were already talking about it, I guess Kelly's scene isn't all that spoiler-tastic.

It might just be Firefox or something. I had to right click the video and chose to view it on YouTube.

Electron Blue wrote:

Yeah where the FUCK are the homosexual relationships?
They said there would be a male/male in ME2, but there isn't, and Kelly 'doesn't count' for some reason. Then if you try with Samara, she acts like a fucking bitch about it. What she does goes beyond "tease" and into "sadistic manipulation". GRRR.

To be fair, Samara...

Spoiler:

Also, this is probably the first Bioware game I've played where the female PC's romance options are more interesting than the male PC's.

Spoiler:

Anyone who refers to her as Tali-chan or pulls that waifu shit needs to eat an FMJ sandwich.

Having said that, Tali is awesome. So there.

TheHermit wrote:

Electron Blue wrote:

Yeah where the FUCK are the homosexual relationships?
They said there would be a male/male in ME2, but there isn't, and Kelly 'doesn't count' for some reason. Then if you try with Samara, she acts like a fucking bitch about it. What she does goes beyond "tease" and into "sadistic manipulation". GRRR.

To be fair, Samara...

Spoiler:

Also, this is probably the first Bioware game I've played where the female PC's romance options are more interesting than the male PC's.

Spoiler:

I get her reasons, what I dislike is her method - getting close enough to kiss, nearly putting your lips to theirs and THEN saying no is a good way to get slapped or punched.

Oh boy.

Penguin wrote:

Anyone who refers to her as Tali-chan or pulls that waifu shit needs to eat an FMJ sandwich.

Having said that, Tali is awesome. So there.

. . .This is what I wanted to say but was too lazy to type.

She also had the best line in the game that didn't come from Joker.

"I want you to know I'm running a fever, I can't stop coughing, and my sinuses are filled with something I can't even begin to describe. It was worth it."

Electron Blue wrote:

I get her reasons, what I dislike is her method - getting close enough to kiss, nearly putting your lips to theirs and THEN saying no is a good way to get slapped or punched.

Cyberwulf doesn't play ME, does she? No? Praise Jesus.