Furoticon: Furry Porn the TCG! (NWS, image heavy)

OK, so, Furoticon. Where to begin? For those not in the (terrible shit on the internet) know, this would be a pornographic furry card game. To be perfectly honest, I want to do a review of this mess up right and make you laugh your fat fanfic fag asses off, but I am a little at a loss. I still have no idea how this game is supposed to work and I only vaguely comprehend what the multitude of symbols on the cards even mean. I have played Pokemon and Duel Monsters, sure, but Magic was too complicated for me, so this one is going right over my head. The multitudes of hairy boobs and fuzzy dicks are not really helping any.

First off, Furoticon 'furre' cards are like your basic monster or characters cards that ever game has. 'Treat' cards are like equiptables, 'surprise' cards are like actions or spells, and 'havens' are like lands or gyms or locations or what have you.

'Furres' come in three 'genders'. And, yes, I am air quoting like hell when I do that. Imagine me saying every quoted word as sarcastically as possible. The first 'gender' is male. According to their wiki (and yes they have a wiki – they apparently need and entire userbase to keep the rules straight): “Males in Furoticon follow the qualities of Power, Order, and Nature. “ This is completely meaningless as far as I can tell. Men also: “focus on offense, and may include aggression or alteration.” Ah those menfolk, always with the aggression and... uh... altering things. The next 'gender' is female (no shit). “Females in Furoticon follow the qualities of Life, Grace, and Love.” Still meaningless, in case you are wondering. The wiki also says females “focus on defense, and may include protection or manipulation.” Because wommin are manipulative, amirite? The third 'gender' is 'herm'. Just 'herm.' And by that Furoticon means dickgirl, pretty much. Dickgirls “follow the qualities of Lust, Abundance, and Chaos” and their “cards focus on speed, and may include manipulation or aggression.” Because they are both male and female. So they are passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive. Geddit? The fourth 'gender' is otherkin. Fucking otherkin. Since when the flying fuck was that a fucking douchefuck gender? Seriously, what fucking fucknozzle woke up one morning, jerked off, and decided that people who think they are black rainbow star dragon angels qualify as their own fucking gender? I do not even give a goddamn what the wiki says about otherkin.

Every 'furre' card has a rating for each 'gender' that tells how much that particular 'furre' 'pleasures' that 'gender'. It also has some heart points that relate to how long it takes to get off. A 'furre' with lots of hearts may have trouble getting it up. Other than that each cards has various skills and whatever. You get action points and 'gender' points somehow and you spend those to play cards and use skills, but I have no idea how that even works. When I try and hack through the rules I get distracted because they keep referring to the deck as your 'blackbook' (oh my gawd that is the wittiest thing ever fr srs) and some portion of the play field is called the 'couch', but I have no idea what the refers to. I think the goal is to make your furries make the other furry's furries come all over themselves without coming yourself, which is probably pretty hard for any given furry to do since they jizz their pants whenever Sonic the Hedgehog comes on.

Mostly the cards are just a big masturbatory exercise for members of the furry community. I do not even mean that literally. They auction off the ability to have your 'original character' (read: your 'sert in all its furry, suey glory) appear as a 'furre' card. You even submit your own artwork (or get a friend to draw it for you). Restrictions include: “Scat, cub, pregnancy, rape, excessive blood, humans, illegal drug use, or firearms.” God forbid we let any humans into our animal fuck-fest. Seriously, are there no skinny-on-furry fetishists in the furry community? Nice to know they are keeping the babyfurs out of it, though. Primarily for this reason the 'spoiler' text mostly reads like bits of shitty fanfic. Like, more-so than on regular TCG-type cards. Also half the 'artists' have no idea how to fucking draw or color. Even the ones that do several OK cards do several more shitty one, like they only got lucky that one time or else they are just phoning it in the rest of the time.

So, the very concept not enough to convince you? You crave more information? You want to know just how bad these cards are? Well, I am not capable of showing you by myself, obviously, so I have enlisted in the aid of some of WGW's faaaaavorite snarkers! Yey!!

Zeiss Manifold: I only have one thing to say about the whole concept, and that is that playing card games about sex is like licking pictures of food.
Reepicheep-chan: Haha, true, but what about liking pictures of otherkin food? What about hermaphraditic dragon angel food?
Zeiss Manifold: Everything furry-related tastes like stale Funyuns. It's a fact.
Reepicheep-chan: I believe you.
Zeiss Manifold: So, have we deciphered how this game actually works?
Reepicheep-chan: Not really. I understand some of it, but I do not get how the play area is layed out or what the goal even is.
Zeiss Manifold: I just can't honestly imagine anyone having a good time playing this. I just get these pictures of like six greasy guys playing this on a mall floor in front of a Payless.
Reepicheep-chan: And then getting kicked out by the Manajerks.
Zeiss Manifold: And jerkops.

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Zeiss Manifold: ...Did that cat just stick a firefly up the Khyber? I don't like this game already.
Zeiss Manifold: I think we all kinda walked into the wrong room.
Reepicheep-chan: Its buddy is all trying to find it.
Reepicheep-chan: "Navi? Where are you?"
Reepicheep-chan: "Hey! Look! Listen!"
Zeiss Manifold: "Canine"? I'm sorry, there is no way that's a dog. Even besides the obvious reasons.
Reepicheep-chan: I guess when you are born with those harlequin patterns in your fur your life choices are kind of limited.
Zeiss Manifold: GAHH SOMEONE FLAYED HIS ARM oh wait that's a tie
Zeiss Manifold: what is it with these things
Reepicheep-chan: The tie and its penis look practically identical.
Reepicheep-chan: I bet 'Yaoi Fairy' is proud of this one.
Zeiss Manifold: You can see it's conducting an anus inspection. We've got a perfectionist.

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Reepicheep-chan: I think that gold symbol means this card is rare.
Zeiss Manifold: To be fair, if my penis was transplanted to my thigh, I'd look the same way.
Reepicheep-chan: I love how he is flying back so hard his penis and his spit are flying in the wind there. Yet his buddy is just fine.
Reepicheep-chan: Aside from the broken wrist, I mean.
Zeiss Manifold: Re: The gold thing - What kind of symbol is that? Roostersexual?
Zeiss Manifold: Furoticon II: The Revenge of Hamburger Helper.
Reepicheep-chan: Well, in the furry community it is important to know if you do or do not like roosters.
Reepicheep-chan: This game is ONLY for people who like roosters.
Zeiss Manifold: AND SPEAKING OF COCKS...

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Reepicheep-chan: Aw, the card rules are covering up the cock!
Zeiss Manifold: Damn, my segue went awry. We found the only card in the set without a giant floppy dong on it.
Reepicheep-chan: His dong has to be in someone's butt at all time, I guess.
Reepicheep-chan: Is that what his name means?
Zeiss Manifold: "Backdoor Bodyguard" sounds like a Kevin Costner/Clarence Carter action movie. If only this game was about screenplays instead of furries.
Reepicheep-chan: Aw, but then we would be spared this classy pencil rendering of a... cow-thing... analy... doing something? With this... um... fox?
Zeiss Manifold: It's a ram...horse, I guess.
Reepicheep-chan: Is she just sitting on the head of his penis?
Zeiss Manifold: O'er the ramhorses' cock, she's so gallantly yiffing.

(As you can see I did not spoiler the card images. Please keep this thread's loading time reasonable by not quoting the pictures.)

More snarks and more snarkers to come, so stay tuned guys!

Kind of like Magic, but with "pleasure" instead of life points?

Okay. Do we have any idea who invented this game, and if so, can we track them down and kill them horribly? Because this has got to be the most nauseatingly unerotic concept I've ever seen in my life (and I once saw a heterosexual sex card game, whose name I can't recall, that would've driven Linda Lovelace to become a nun).

what a :airquote: special :airquote: game.

Quote :

Mostly the cards are just a big masturbatory exercise for members of the furry community. I do not even mean that literally. They auction off the ability to have your 'original character' (read: your 'sert in all its furry, suey glory) appear as a 'furre' card. You even submit your own artwork (or get a friend to draw it for you). Restrictions include: “Scat, cub, pregnancy, rape, excessive blood, humans, illegal drug use, or firearms.” God forbid we let any humans into our animal fuck-fest. Seriously, are there no skinny-on-furry fetishists in the furry community?

What? No rape?

Also, a little more realistically, "What, no pregnancy?" Pregnancy is a beautiful thing (in theory) and obviously some people are hot for a furry woman who's about 8 months in.

In fact, with all those restrictions, they're sure cutting down on their fanbase. Why CAN'T we have some fur naked and toting a sub-machine-gun?

And incidentally, I can't stand these Pokemon-type card games.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Quote :

Mostly the cards are just a big masturbatory exercise for members of the furry community. I do not even mean that literally. They auction off the ability to have your 'original character' (read: your 'sert in all its furry, suey glory) appear as a 'furre' card. You even submit your own artwork (or get a friend to draw it for you). Restrictions include: “Scat, cub, pregnancy, rape, excessive blood, humans, illegal drug use, or firearms.” God forbid we let any humans into our animal fuck-fest. Seriously, are there no skinny-on-furry fetishists in the furry community?

What? No rape?

Also, a little more realistically, "What, no pregnancy?" Pregnancy is a beautiful thing (in theory) and obviously some people are hot for a furry woman who's about 8 months in.

In fact, with all those restrictions, they're sure cutting down on their fanbase. Why CAN'T we have some fur naked and toting a sub-machine-gun?

TELL US YOUR IDEAL CARD HARLEY

PERHAPS YOUR AVATAR BUTT NAKED WITH A MACHINE GUN WHILE EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT AND RIDING A FUCKING MACHINE THAT LOOKS LIKE A TRANSFORMER AND SHITTING IN ITS MOUTH

Cyber, do you do this on purpose? I mean, I know I do, but do you purposefully follow me around and make stupid comments? You know, like a poorly qualified lesbian stalker or something?

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Cyber, do you do this on purpose? I mean, I know I do, but do you purposefully follow me around and make stupid comments? You know, like a poorly qualified lesbian stalker or something?

You've just criticised a stupid, non-sensical Furry TCG for not having enough rape, preggo porn, violence and more rape. Don't pretend you don't know why people poke at you Harls.

Hey, it took a lot of practice to get to this point. What would the board be without its resident target practice?

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Hey, it took a lot of practice to get to this point. What would the board be without its resident target practice?

Don't flatter yourself dear, we'd find someone else.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Cyber, do you do this on purpose? I mean, I know I do, but do you purposefully follow me around and make stupid comments? You know, like a poorly qualified lesbian stalker or something?

Yes Harley. I follow you around all the time and always, ALWAYS comment whenever you do. Because I secretly want to have sex with you.

PS stop jilling it to my avatar you sick fuck

Hot Cancer wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Hey, it took a lot of practice to get to this point. What would the board be without its resident target practice?

Don't flatter yourself dear, we'd find someone else.

We've already got Skillet, Psy-4 and Mikey as back-ups.

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Reepicheep-chan: I think this is the best illustration in this entire game.
Zeiss Manifold: There really are no rules for this thing, are there? I'm expecting the "rocket launch a raccoon dong at the floating castle" card in due haste.
Zeiss Manifold: It's almost tasteful by comparison.
Reepicheep-chan: The levitation anal bead ring holding the castle up will break and it will fall down on top of the entire orgy.
Reepicheep-chan: Is that lady a hyena?
Zeiss Manifold: I...think so?
Reepicheep-chan: Hyenas are nature's dickgirl, you know.
Zeiss Manifold: GO RAPE RABBIT GO GO GO
Reepicheep-chan: I feel the furries missed an opportunity with this one.
Reepicheep-chan: They even give birth out of their penis-like clitorises.
Zeiss Manifold: Clitori?
Reepicheep-chan: Hey, do you think that is why Harley likes them?
Zeiss Manifold: I'd really rather not delve into Harley's psyche, thank you very much.
Reepicheep-chan: OK, next card then!

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Reepicheep-chan: Better?
Zeiss Manifold: And when the lamb / Opened the furth seal / I saw the donghorse / The horse, he had a...wait, what is that? Doesn't a having a piercing through a condom kind of defeat the point?
Zeiss Manifold: And what's that blue thing growing out of his head?
Reepicheep-chan: Well, with no circulation in his dick I doubt he is going to leak out any swimmers anyway.
Zeiss Manifold: The first ever leopard-print horse.
Reepicheep-chan: That tail looks looks fake to me. Like, despite his being a horse he is still wearing a pony-play butt-plug tail.
Zeiss Manifold: Alright, maybe this is a hyena too, I don't know.
Reepicheep-chan: A hyena dressed like a horse for the purposes of pony-play.
Zeiss Manifold: Is that just like the furry equivalent of crossdressing? We've entered another whole weird area.
Reepicheep-chan: Like furres who get their rocks off pretending to be humans?
Zeiss Manifold: Well, humans aren't allowed on the cards IIRC, so I guess they just have to make do.
Reepicheep-chan: Poor things are being discriminated against. They are being Skinsicuted.
Reepicheep-chan: I think he is wearing one of those head feathers that they put on circus horses, but I cannot figure out he bothered to get so dressed out if he was just going to hang out in a pitch-black void all day.
Zeiss Manifold: The fact that the horse has fingers is terrifying me for some reason. Next card?

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Reepicheep-chan: "Do NOT eat it. That is a poisonous magic pie."
Zeiss Manifold: "There was no sandwich."
Zeiss Manifold: "Don't mind me, my hair is just kinda stuck inside my eyeball. Owwwwwwwwwww."
Reepicheep-chan: Damnit, I could easily say "The cake is a lie" here, but that would be so awful.
Zeiss Manifold: REEP NO
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL
Reepicheep-chan: AAAH TOOOO LATE~!
Zeiss Manifold: This was not a triumph.
Reepicheep-chan: Hmf, well this artist has it all wrong. Cats do not even have cheeks.
Zeiss Manifold: According to furries, cats, foxes and chipmunks are all the same animal.
Reepicheep-chan: Lemurs are copyrighted though.
Zeiss Manifold: Damn. I was morbidly interested on what these people would do to the Aye-Aye.

(meta note: there is a sizable pause here)

Reepicheep-chan: Yeah, now all I can think about it how hysterical Aye-Ayes are. Next card?
Zeiss Manifold: Sure. And I like Aye-Ayes, mind you.
Reepicheep-chan: They look like quadrupedal mad scientists.

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Reepicheep-chan: Also: we totally already did this card. What the fuck?
Zeiss Manifold: So there's just one guy who's obsessed with doing this stuff. I hate to wonder what his room looks like.
Zeiss Manifold: I just imagine this really skittery guy carving pictures of donghorse orgies into his walls with a broken stick of charcoal.
Reepicheep-chan: His floor is covered in hay, I bet.
Reepicheep-chan: I think donghorse here needs some conditioner.
Reepicheep-chan: Maybe some de-worming pills too.
Zeiss Manifold: I think I've said enough. Next?

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Zeiss Manifold: I guess this card don't mean a thing, then.
Reepicheep-chan: The first of many atrocities committed by "Liebermaus".
Zeiss Manifold: Is he like the furry version of Ono?
Reepicheep-chan: Maybe more like the out-of-the-closet version of CWC.
Zeiss Manifold: Ah.
Zeiss Manifold: *squints*
Zeiss Manifold: Yeah, I can see it.
Reepicheep-chan: No flavor text though.
Zeiss Manifold: It's a shame. Who knows how many would be thrilled by the non-swinging adventures of this...thing?
Reepicheep-chan: He just cannot figure out why people mistake him for a hooker.
Zeiss Manifold: I think his garters are elastic, that's the problem.
Reepicheep-chan: He is terrified of the sexual advance but has no idea how to stop them.
Reepicheep-chan: Is he using his underpants to prop up his dick?
Zeiss Manifold: No, it's growing out of his thigh.
Reepicheep-chan: Common birth-defect, that.

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Reepicheep-chan: "Suck your cock? But it's covered in ash!"
Zeiss Manifold: Hey, it's the Endless' embarrassing cousin Phil.
Reepicheep-chan: Fate holds on to the hope that Phil the ferret will cease to exist if Fate stops sending him a card for his birthday.
Zeiss Manifold: He's got a ratmullet.
Reepicheep-chan: He also has a happy trail. How does a fur-covered animal get a happy trail?
Zeiss Manifold: My mind is proverbially boogled.
Zeiss Manifold: It's like a Nagel print gone horribly wrong.

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Reepicheep-chan: Tit-fucks are so passe. I am all about the ear-fucks.
Zeiss Manifold: Or knee-fucks, judging how Femur-Lemur or whoever drew that one guys' leg.
Zeiss Manifold: I like how the title, pic, and text have nothing to do with one another.
Reepicheep-chan: Re: the text. That is not white out. Not white out at all.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

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Zeiss Manifold: And when the lamb / Opened the furth seal / I saw the donghorse / The horse, he had a...wait, what is that? Doesn't a having a piercing through a condom kind of defeat the point?

I think that's just the horsedong coming out of its sheath. Condoms? You're optimistic.

Oh God. I want to put 15 of these in a Magic booster pack and give them to one of the local nerds.

It's dangerous to go alone, take this.

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. . . why would an instant need to be tapped? Is it even possible to tap an instant, since they're non-permanent?

That said: This game is looking to be MTG for. . . you know, sick fuck furries. The card layout is the same (mostly; the power and toughness have been put on the left of the art, like the mana costs in Future Sight) right down to the expansion symbols on the far right of the middle bar. I'm thinking WotC might sue, if they 1) know this game exists and 2) have managed to not drive roofing nails into their brains to make themselves forget.

The local equivalent of mana must be much more available than in Magic, otherwise most of these things are hugely overcosted.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

'Furres' come in three 'genders'. And, yes, I am air quoting like hell when I do that. Imagine me saying every quoted word as sarcastically as possible. The first 'gender' is male. According to their wiki (and yes they have a wiki – they apparently need and entire userbase to keep the rules straight): “Males in Furoticon follow the qualities of Power, Order, and Nature. “ This is completely meaningless as far as I can tell. Men also: “focus on offense, and may include aggression or alteration.” Ah those menfolk, always with the aggression and... uh... altering things. The next 'gender' is female (no shit). “Females in Furoticon follow the qualities of Life, Grace, and Love.” Still meaningless, in case you are wondering. The wiki also says females “focus on defense, and may include protection or manipulation.” Because wommin are manipulative, amirite? The third 'gender' is 'herm'. Just 'herm.' And by that Furoticon means dickgirl, pretty much. Dickgirls “follow the qualities of Lust, Abundance, and Chaos” and their “cards focus on speed, and may include manipulation or aggression.” Because they are both male and female. So they are passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive. Geddit? The fourth 'gender' is otherkin. Fucking otherkin. Since when the flying fuck was that a fucking douchefuck gender? Seriously, what fucking fucknozzle woke up one morning, jerked off, and decided that people who think they are black rainbow star dragon angels qualify as their own fucking gender? I do not even give a goddamn what the wiki says about otherkin.

gaijinguy wrote:

The local equivalent of mana must be much more available than in Magic, otherwise most of these things are hugely overcosted.

I think you get 10 AP a turn plus extra from cards like havens and stuff. But it costs 5 AP just to draw a card, sooooo. IDK, sounds like a long-ass game to me.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

gaijinguy wrote:

The local equivalent of mana must be much more available than in Magic, otherwise most of these things are hugely overcosted.

I think you get 10 AP a turn plus extra from cards like havens and stuff. But it costs 5 AP just to draw a card, sooooo. IDK, sounds like a long-ass game to me.

So that means they all have ED. All the male ones, anyway. And the female ones are disappointed.

Nihilist wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

gaijinguy wrote:

The local equivalent of mana must be much more available than in Magic, otherwise most of these things are hugely overcosted.

I think you get 10 AP a turn plus extra from cards like havens and stuff. But it costs 5 AP just to draw a card, sooooo. IDK, sounds like a long-ass game to me.

So that means they all have ED. All the male ones, anyway. And the female ones are disappointed.

Well, I would have ED too if my penis had dimensions similar to a soda can.

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Delcat: HEY GUYS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABO--oh dear Lord
Zeiss Manifold: I GOT A FETUS IN MY PETUS
Reepicheep-chan: I cannot figure out the card ability here.
Delcat: You know, I'll never understand why furries have bright pink junk. I mean, I'm not an expert on animal junk, but I've had a series of male dogs, and their junk is the same color of the rest of the fur. If they had baby-pink wedding tackle, they'd probably be required by law to wear diapers.
Delcat: Also dogs don't have weddings, but the point stands.
Zeiss Manifold: Boy, I hate it when someone invites the LARPers to the orgy. You can never get the smell of Powerade out of the couch.
Reepicheep-chan: Are his balls bald? Is that normal for wolves?
Zeiss Manifold: Ladies and gentleman, the Jack Nicholson-brand wolf.
Delcat: Are those his pants or is he quill-fucking a Sandslash?
Reepicheep-chan: Oh God I cannot unsee that thank you.
Zeiss Manifold: I can't tell if that's a treasure trail or his abdomen caving in.
Delcat: NOOOO RUN HONEY RUN! USE POISON STING!
Reepicheep-chan: Ethelwulf. That sounds like a furry's grandma's name.
Zeiss Manifold: Next one?

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Delcat: just gonna bend this in half here hope you don't mind
Zeiss Manifold: With special guest star Tim Curry as Hexxus.
Zeiss Manifold: Furgully: The Last Stankforest.
Reepicheep-chan: The rare and majestic blow-job unicorn partakes of its primary food source.
Delcat: You know, I said somewhere on TV Tropes in regards to Hexxus that Tim Curry can sex anything up. I rescind that in regards to furries.
Delcat: I dunno, for me "mutual" doesn't entail looking like I'm about to break down screaming, crying, and drooling semen all over the place.
Zeiss Manifold: We've got at least one other person on the boards trying to figure this game out, and still nobody has managed to make heads or tails of all this. Just saying.
Delcat: I bet dragon semen tastes TERRIBLE, too. All those knights and sheep, hardly any fruit at all.
Delcat: Zeiss
Delcat: Did you just say "heads or tails"
Delcat: about a furry game
Zeiss Manifold: oh god i did didn't i
Delcat: I don't know if we can be friends anymore
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Reepicheep-chan: Dragon semen has got to be a vital ingredient in at least a dozen magic potions.
Reepicheep-chan: She probably just wants to make some elixir of life or something.
Zeiss Manifold: Must....not...make...Snape joke
Delcat: I never thought of it like that. But in the furry world, EVERYONE is a supaaa-speshul unicorn or dragon or kitsune or something. Are they just constantly harvesting alchemical ingredients off of each other?
Delcat: What about the vital biological ingredients, like organs and bones?
Delcat: IT'S A GIANT FURRY MASSACRE WAITING TO HAPPEN
Reepicheep-chan: Her her, they get some bones alright.
Delcat: oh fuck now I'm doing it
Delcat: ZEIIIISS
Zeiss Manifold: Furries are kept intact via constantly colliding system of internal sparkles. 'Tis a science fact.
Zeiss Manifold: oh and Del
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Delcat: Is that better or worse than the teacup?
Zeiss Manifold: Tastier!
Reepicheep-chan: Tastier than unicorn come?
Zeiss Manifold: I'm not going to test that.
Zeiss Manifold: Unicorn come probably tastes like ground-up Roseart pencils anyways.
Reepicheep-chan: Or Lisa Frank stationary.
Delcat: Dangit, Reep, I was about to go the Lisa Frank route.
Delcat: You two are just an unstoppable duo of unicorn splooge jokes.
Reepicheep-chan: Before you know it I will have usurped your place!
Reepicheep-chan: BWHA HA HA HA!
Reepicheep-chan: I will steal Zeiss from you and become snark-queen of WGW!
Delcat: NOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Reepicheep-chan: SURPRISE FOREPLAY!
Delcat: THAT'S NOT NEARLY AS FUN AS SURPRISE SEX
Delcat: Man, either that picture did not compress well or my eyes are going.
Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS
Delcat: ...okay, granted, my eyes are going, but the point stands.
Zeiss Manifold: I gotta say, the more I'm exposed to this game is the more I envy the blind.
Delcat: Does that fox...wolf...thing have like four ears, or is her back ear just coming directly out of the top of her skull?
Reepicheep-chan: But it is Saruuk's style!
Delcat: The lizard looks really surprised at the turn events have taken. "Oh dude, my hand is in your...sorry, I don't know how that happened."
Reepicheep-chan: The girl just looks like she was cloud gazing.
Zeiss Manifold: I can't reckon whether it's supposed to look cel-shaded or not. It looks like one of the those Saturday-morning Christian kids' shows gone horribly wrong.
Zeiss Manifold: I expect the MIDI music to break out any time now.
Reepicheep-chan: The photo clouds in the background is the perfect touch.
Delcat: Are they on Destiny Islands? Is he about to eat her Paopu?
Reepicheep-chan: She has a spike coming out of her elbow.
Delcat: It's for self-defense. She's about to snap out of her cloudgazing trance and disembowel the dude.
Reepicheep-chan: Also you need male gender points to play this card.
Reepicheep-chan: Only men are expected to provide foreplay.
Zeiss Manifold: Why does the dragon have fur? What's going on?
Delcat: Yeah, I just lube 'em up and smack 'em in when I screw a guy. Fuck that noise.
Reepicheep-chan: The more I look at the dragon the more I think of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Reepicheep-chan: Those muscular green arms...
Reepicheep-chan: The three-fingured hand...
Reepicheep-chan: Um, groping some chick.
Delcat: I thought the turtles were entirely given over to fucking April.
Zeiss Manifold: The monster came out, everybody shout / People on the beach were screamin' 'bout the monster, the monster from the Deviantart!
Reepicheep-chan: Tsk, furaffinity. TOTALLY different from Deviantart.
Zeiss Manifold: Yeah, but it doesn't fit the cadence. I will adjust reality to fit the cadence, and have done so on several occasions.
Reepicheep-chan: Yeah yeah, mister bigshot music parody man.

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Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Reepicheep-chan: Is the dog's hand secured to a pillow?
Delcat: SNOOPY, NO
Delcat: That horse's cock should be nowhere near that dog's asshole.
Delcat: Also, it looks like that horse's cock should be nowhere near that dog's asshole.
Reepicheep-chan: The dog is just sort of laying on top of it.
Zeiss Manifold: I'm starting to get pissed at the flavortext for being so generic, really. You're furries! Go balls-out!
Delcat: What are the rules, anyway?
Delcat: Rule 1: You don't talk about Chris-chan.
Delcat: Rule 2: You don't TALK about Chris-chan.
Delcat: OH MY GOD THE HORSE HAS CLAWS WHAT THE FUCK
Zeiss Manifold: Did you miss the horse with fingers that we did in the first set?
Delcat: That wasn't NEARLY as disturbing as EYE-GOUGING CLAWS
Delcat: Anyway, that pic had the horrible horsecock to distract with. This is more vanilla.
Zeiss Manifold: Speak for yourself, man.
Reepicheep-chan: There is simply no pleasing some people.
Reepicheep-chan: Um, does the horse have a muffin-top?
Zeiss Manifold: It looks like the horse-cat-thing just has a really long, limp schlong which he's draping over the dog as a party trick.
Reepicheep-chan: Well he is getting come all over the dog which is really not polite at all.
Delcat: Yeah, you know how hard it is to clean fur?
Zeiss Manifold: It smells bad enough when there's water on it, let alone horsespooge.
Reepicheep-chan: Damnit, the next card is the same thing.
Zeiss Manifold: More horsesplooge for half the price, you save big when you shop at Furoticon warehouse.

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Delcat: Yeah, you know what gets me really, really hot? Placing complicated and arbitrary rules on sex.
Delcat: Oh yeah, if I don't have to use a calculator to figure out if I'm horny or not, it just kills it for me, man.
Reepicheep-chan: If there were less than four people in this orgy you cannot orgasm!
Reepicheep-chan: But you will get very tired!
Zeiss Manifold: I'm trying my best to comprehend that block of text, but it just twists my brain into a four-dimensional hypertorus just scanning it.
Delcat: I think the only way this could be more tedious is if they did it like chess-by-mail.
Delcat: "Dude, you've been sitting there holding your dick for four days."
"I'm waiting to see whether or not I can do another stroke."
Reepicheep-chan: God that reminds me of a Harry Potter fanfic.

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Zeiss Manifold: Leonarrrrrrrrrrrrrrdo
Reepicheep-chan: I like the lil' bit of head poking up above the cut. Very classy.
Delcat: The composition on these is making even my feeble icon-making skills hurt.
Delcat: "Do we want to cut this down so it focuses on anything in particular?"
"No, just take a chunk out of the picture and slap it on."
Zeiss Manifold: "Yaoi Fairy" did like half of these things, didn't she?
Reepicheep-chan: His arm looks like it could also be a branch of that tree behind him.
Delcat: giant misshapen hand.
Reepicheep-chan: I think the early ones were mostly done by, like, 3 people.
Zeiss Manifold: That's a tree? That would make Leonarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdo here on a collision course with the ground.
Delcat: WATCH OUT FOR THAT-- *SPLOOGE* --COCK!
Delcat: GEORGE, GEORGE, GEORGE OF THE CUM-GLE FRIEND TO YOU AND ME
Zeiss Manifold: COME AND SPLOOGE BETWEEN THE LIONS
Reepicheep-chan: ~Everybody look left/ Everybody look right/ Everywhere you look I'm/ Cumming in the spot light~
Reepicheep-chan: Free to masturbate all daaaay~!
Delcat: Well, I'M definitely out.

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Reepicheep-chan: Preee-eeety sure marking territory involves urine. Not, uh, well you just go ahead and do whatever then.
Zeiss Manifold: And I used to LIKE using "Go jack off in a tree!" as an insult, too. Guess I'll have to retire another one...
Delcat: Oh great, now we literally have furries pissing in circles. That's just SWELL.
Reepicheep-chan: God, lookit how smug the little fucker is. I just wanna slap him with a newspaper.
Reepicheep-chan: NO! BAD DOG!
Reepicheep-chan: PUT THAT AWAY!
Delcat: Wait, is that a tree or the leg of a velociraptor? OH SHI--
Reepicheep-chan: That is a whole new sex act right there.
Zeiss Manifold: ...Those eyes. I think he's a Grey.
Delcat: A whole new very brief sex act.
Delcat: They shall be known as AAAAAARGHophiles.
Reepicheep-chan: Well, he is already a hopeless cripple.
Delcat: Well, he is a pretzel.
Zeiss Manifold: Well, he is a good god I still don't know what I'm looking at
Reepicheep-chan: The ground is grey.
Reepicheep-chan: Is he on a moon?
Delcat: Gives the impression that he's pissing directly onto our brains, doesn't it?
Reepicheep-chan: He is hanging out in the dreamscape, waiting to brainrape us.

(The color text is an experiment so if you hate it please let me know)

OK, is it just a coincidence that all the cards featured thus far have only used male mana, or whatever it's called?

gaijinguy wrote:

OK, is it just a coincidence that all the cards featured thus far have only used male mana, or whatever it's called?

Well, when I saved them off the website they were already numbered and I have been doing them in order. I think the order is, like, the male pre-built deck in alphabetical order, then the female pre built alpha, then the herm and otherkin decks, then the booster pack cards, etc like that. I actually did not notice that they were ordered base on gender like that or I would have mixed them up ^.^; I feel kind of stupid now. Oh well, I am just going to have to try and power through them faster to get to the wtf goodness that is the otherkin cards.

And before you ask- the game rules as they stand make playing more than one gender practically impossible as far as I can tell. Then again, I still am not entirely sure how the game actually works so whatever.

The art's not even very GOOD.