Obvious troll fic is obvious! (Tails on his own)

Greetings, I'm a new guy around here, so I thought I'd celebrate my joining of this wonderful website filled with many a win and lulz by reviewing a one-shot (presumably) troll fic.
This is Tails on his own.

Summary: Tails goes on with Sonic gone now and finds breezie while Scratch plus Grounder go to him Set in AoStH

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Sonic and tails was running across the land as usual, until they came across Robotnik robot bots. Tails go back before you get hurt says sonic. Right says tails as he retreat behind sonic.

Wow, I can actually feel my IQ dropping from just reading these first two sentences. Really, the writer claims that the English language isn't his specialty, but he/she makes no effort to make this look decent. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Sonic tried to let go of Robotnik grasp but was unable to get out. Tails help me yelled Sonic. Tails came up and flown with his tails to the top of Robotnik suit. Not knowing what to do he masturbated until he came to shor circuit Robotnik.

I'm not shitting you in the least. Apparently masturbating in the middle of a life-or-death battle is a valid strategey when your best friend has been captured by the enemy. While the whole 'semen is a liquid, so it can short out electronics' bit is logical to a degree, it's still utterly impractical!

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The 2 garnered at the clouds for a while until tails felt something in this pants.

I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole... O.o

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sonic I think its blooming whispered Tails and then Sonic look at tails pants and saw his penis stick straight up wards into the sky. Sonic than felt bit horny and wanted to suck Tailss cock bad. Maybe you should take them off, those pants said sonic. Tails agreed and threw his pants off of him and then thrown them on the ground. Sonic gazed at his large cock and himself got larger penis. Hey sonic your getting what I get said Tails looking direct at sonics larger cock.

How old are these two again? O.o

Yeah, I'll spare you the following. Basically, it's IKEA erotica sonails yoai. 'Nuff said.

What follows is just plain...well... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Sonic DIES after climaxing with Tails. Litterally. It's not even explained how he dies, but my guess is that he realized that he was in a badfic made by a troll and took a cyanide pill before he started up with Tails.
What follows is IKEA erotica sonails neckrophelia yoai courtesy of uber-horny Tails. Yeah. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Behind the bushes near there were Scratch and Grounder spectatating what was happened. Ho oh hoh oh this looks nice said Scratch. Yeah replied grounder. They started maturbating to tails having sex with Sonic dead corpse. Theyre metal cocks were rubbed over and over. After a few they came oil since robots don't have cum. Scratch forgot that his was programmed to do Robotnik orders which was kill sonic and tails so he went and pulled out his gun and started shoting at tails who was still inside Sonic dead corpse. Tails got hit by the gun in the tails so he was not able to fly anymore, he quickly pull out of Sonic and went away. That fox got away once more said Grounder and scratch replied with a hit to the head of grounder.

Ok. I'm not touching that first part unless someone is going to pay me an insane amount of money.
So let's just pick up at the 'action'. They shoot Tails in his tails preventing him from flying away. Ok...I can work with that, that is logically sound. Shame that fox got away through the magical power of...hell if I know how. I can't say plot-armor, because that requires this story to have a plot.

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Chapter 2 - Tails

Isn't this supposed to be a one-shot, as in one chapter and one chapter only? Ah forget it, not like this story is going to start making any form of sense anytime soon. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Tails run off to Mobius to shelter

Ok, anyone with a passing knowledge of the Sonic franchise knows that Mobius is a planet, not a location on a planet.

Ok, what follows after is a wonderfuly large wall of text that I have no interest in picking apart, and I'm certain you all have no interest in seeing. I'll sum it up for you in a list going in chronological order

1. Tails can't pay for a night at the hotel 'cause Sonic was the only one with cash. (What happened to Tails' injuries?) So he sleeps behind a dumpster.
   
2. Scratch and Grounder arrive at the planet Mobius and looked for Tails for a few hours before going to sleep themselves.
   
3. Tails wakes up, sees the two, then bolts and breaks into a random house.
   
4. Some chick named Breezie gets out of the shower just in time to catch Tails breaking in. Since she is apparently a slut according to this story, they both end up in bed.
   
5. Scratch and Ground break in (How did they find them?) and kill Tails right after he climaxes inside Breezie (Talk about dying happy... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ). Breezie cries, and Scratch rips off her head (Holy shit... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ).
   
6. Both robots go back to Robotnick's fortress for butsecks a job well done.
   

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ENDING

Most beautiful thing I've ever seen since I've read this story. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yeah. That's my take on this story. I think I've killed several brain cells just reading this POS. I'm willing to bet that I'm right about this being a troll seeing that his/her profile only has that story submitted to it, no favs, no other comments, no nothing. I know that feeding trolls is bad, but I can't help but have a good rant every now and then, and trolls make it all too easy.

These people obviously have even less of a life than me.

Since I'm new, feel free to point out anything to me that I did wrong. Really, how else am I going to learn anything?

Welcome to the club. Don't feed the Harley, she yiffs.

Also, I hardly claim to be an expert or the moral foundation of WGW, but we generally don't snark troll-fics, since the author is trying to offend the sensibilities of his/her reader(s). That's OUR Job

Hell, we ourselves had a contest not 3 months ago for writing stealth troll-fics.

In the morning (it is almost 4 AM, been up for 26 hours straight, on the craputer), I'll see if I can hook you up with some grade-A accidental fail.

Overall, nice snark. Better than my first attempt. You didn't get too scarred. A friend of mine died from a gangernous tumor of the teknadoid glands from a snark. Nasty way to go, lots of screaming.

You want to do one or two with me, sorta as a training wheels thing? (We're in an enduarance challange to get 20 snarks done by the 20th, and I'm on 4, so I need support ).I'm not very knowledgeable about Sonic, but I do have a passing interest in multiple fandoms.

Well, I just felt that a troll fic would be a nice way to start, and I just remember coming across this one while I was going throught the m-rated romance archives under the filter of 'Tails' on the Sonic section a while back. I hit the ever-useful back button half a second after seeing what it had.

As for me, I have a rather passing knowledge on a lot of games, mostly pertaining to character personalities.

As for the partnership thing, I'd be glad to. You bring the bleach, and I'll bring the booze!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

'Kay, so, good first effort, and I applaud you.

And yeah, generally we don't do trollfics, but there's no harm in it once in a while, especially if they're funny.

Speaking of funny - you need to try harder to be. Not to say you put me to sleep, but you had me skimming, as you were doing a lot of what first time (or unfunny) snarkers do - which is making jokes about how the author obviously doesn't know the canon, how he/she has put no effort into the grammar, and how it OMG MAKES NO SENSE!! And while that is all true, it's something we don't need pointed out. Find what is funny in this piece of crap and amp it up for us.

Otherwise, though, keep on truckin'.

I give anybody props for snarking at all, since I have yet to do that.

And now I want to see Harley relapse to the good ol' times.

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Inkweaver:
Speaking of funny - you need to try harder to be. Not to say you put me to sleep, but you had me skimming, as you were doing a lot of what first time (or unfunny) snarkers do - which is making jokes about how the author obviously doesn't know the canon, how he/she has put no effort into the grammar, and how it OMG MAKES NO SENSE!! And while that is all true, it's something we don't need pointed out. Find what is funny in this piece of crap and amp it up for us.

Ok, I can understand that. I'm actually more of a critic than a snarker. That's right. Up until now, my reviews have always been in paragraph form focusing more on formality and getting the point across in a respectful manner to the writer than just openly saying what I actually feel. It takes a little getting used to, but hey, I'll find a way to leave people rolling like the rest of you eventually. I'm not known as 'The Asshole' by my friends for no reason!