Stop! Hannibal Time

Last night I saw Silence of the Lambs in full for the first time ever i know i know don't hit me please and it was fifty-seven varieties of awesome. Then, of course, one of my chums there recalled a fic from way back on GAFF that was actually a song someone wrote for the movie. Not just a run-of-the-mill songfic, but a 100% original song written by a fan for the movie. With multiple rap interludes.

I knew then and there that I had to find it again. Luckily, thanks to the magic of the Wayback Machine, I was able to trace the fic all the way back to its glorious Angelfire page, which even includes an MS Paint album cover that I wasn't aware of until now.

And so, ladies and gents... DO YOU BURN?

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Imagine if Anthony Hopkins recorded a rock song for the Hannibal soundtrack...and that Jodie Foster was providing the moans...

Did... did John Hinckley write this? D:

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Disclaimer: As in all the stories, the characters of Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Clarice Starling, et. al., are the exclusive property of Thomas Harris. This is not a legitimate rock song.

No mp3 for me then.

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THIS IS A HEAVY-METAL TUNE, VERY BLEAK, BUT VERY SEXY...LOTS OF GUITARS, DRUMS AND A FEW KEYBOARDS...THINK TYPE O NEGATIVE WITH A SMIDGE OF MARILYN MANSON.

NEEDS MORE COWBELL

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SINGING PART

I hadn't planned to call on you

But I can't stay away...

Have the lambs stopped screamin'...

Would you like to play?

LECTER'S RAP

You know there's something you should know
So I'm gonna tell you so
Don't sweat it, forget it
Enjoy the show

Workin' all day
Now it's time to unwind
Kick back, relax, take a load off your mind

I'll be bustin' the moves
I'll be bustin' the rhymes
We'll be bustin' up laughin'
'Cuz it's party time!

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CLARICE'S CUE
Mmmmmmmmm, yes...

CLARICE: If it hadn't been for you, I would now be in someone else's digestion!

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SINGING

I see what others don't

I see who you are...

I feel what others don't

I know where you are...

I hadn't planned to call on you

But I can't stay away...

Now I know where to find you

I'll never stay away...

This writer must have been marvelously ahead of her time. She managed to out-Lee Amy Lee a good five years before Evanescence got stupidly popular. Too bad even Lee's lyrics are far more sophisticated than Jodie Foster's part.

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CLARICE

Aaaaauuuuuhhhhh...

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CLARICE

Aaaaaauuuuuuuhhhhh...ohhhh...

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CLARICE

Aaaaaaaauuuuuhhhh...aaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhh...

OOOOOHHHHH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE I'VE FOUND YOOOOUUUUUU

Aaaand that's the rest of the song, pretty much. It's just Clarice going into heat and having one long, heavy exchange with M.C. Lecter in between CRUNCHING GUITAR SOLOS, clearly a missed opportunity for a credits song in any of the movies.

Does it buuuuuurn, Clarice?

HOW'D IT GET BURNED?
HOW'D IT GET BURNED???

Nihilist wrote:

Does it buuuuuurn, Clarice?

HOW'D IT GET BURNED?
HOW'D IT GET BURNED???

... Now I'm imagining Clarice knocking on Gumb's door dressed in a bear suit, ready to punch him in the face. It's a glorious image.

KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN FAVA BEANS!

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SINGING PART

I hadn't planned to call on you

But I can't stay away...

Have the lambs stopped screamin'...

Would you like to play?

LECTER'S RAP

Well, it's better than the ending of Hannibal...