From the pit of Voles appears Mythandariel's transformers Sue

I was subjected to this fine piece of art by Myth herself and after reading through this 23 chapter monster, I was in a serious need of brain bleach. Well I couldn't find any bleach, but I can always have revenge by snarking it. This time I brought my evil twin(Jänis) to do snarking with me. For avoiding getting confused Sorsa means Duck and Jänis means Rabbit. Here we go!

Warning: Graphic robo-sex and there's human sex too. Not brain safe!

No Rest For The Weary by our very own Mythandariel.

Sorsa: Myth told me to make sure everybody understands that it has been updated last in 2007 and it may not represent...
Jänis: Doesn't excuse this piece garbage!
Sorsa: *sigh* Ever heard of being polite?!
Jänis: Ummm... No.

Chapter 1:

Quote :

“I took it in for maintenance and they botched the knee.” Ellie sat on her bumper and pulled up her left pant leg to reveal a titanium alloy prosthetic leg. She demonstrated by twitching the muscles that sent the signal through electrodes that told the knee joint to move, showing them how it froze up just before it was fully extended. “It’s really annoying and the repair shop has refused to fix it,” she shrugged, “Insurance won’t cover it either, so I’m stuck with this thing until I can fix it.”

Sorsa: There's actually nothing fancy int the first chapter - Except the life story of this Sue. At this point I did not actually realise that I was going to regret of starting to read this thing.
Jänis: HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THE ONE LEGGED MIRACLE THERE? It's one of the first symptoms of Sue. She's speshul alright and she's Sam's childhood babysitter.
Sorsa: Just let's get over with the first chapter, okay.

Quote :

“I didn’t,” was Ellie’s simple answer. “I just don’t have anything below my left mid-femur.” Ellie’s simple answer was the same every time someone asked her what had happened. She never considered herself handicapped. She was just born without her left leg. “But I still have just enough left to kick anyone’s ass.”

Jänis: YEAH YOU'RE NOT HANDICAPPED - YOU'RE SPESHUL!
Sorsa: I have to agree with you here. Like I tried saying that I'm not a Finn - I'm just an American who happens to speak Finnish and is crappy at English.

Quote :

The Autobots shared a silent chuckle. They had been watching the scene unfold quietly, exchanging comments between themselves. “I’m starting to like this human,” Iron Hide stated gruffly.

Jänis: Why?! You've known her like two minutes.
Sorsa: Well, obviously it's the Sue magic.

Quote :

Eloise stretched and yawned wide. It was nearing eleven and she felt tired enough to finely go to bed. "See you two around." Sam and Mikaela responded similarly as Ellie slid into her car and started it up. Sam didn't relax until he could no longer see Ellie's tail lights in the dark.

Jänis: THE SUE WENT AWAY! YAY! LET'S HAVE A TOAST!
Sorsa: Sorry to spoil your fun, but she'll return in the next chapter.
Jänis: :unskilled78:
Sorsa: Let's get to the next chapter, since nothing really happens after this.

Chapter 2:

Quote :

She was totally engrossed in the task that she failed to notice that the darkness outside had disappeared as though the sun had been thrown high into the sky.

Jänis: Was she high?
Sorsa: Apparently, yes.

Quote :

She was brought out of her trance when she started noticing the vibration under her feet.

Jänis:There was a huge dildo under her feet?

Quote :

Pulling herself to her feet on an indiscriminate piece of over turned furniture, Ellie fished around in the cabinet for a flashlight.

Sorsa: She just survived of being smashed around her house without suffering any damage?
Jänis: YES, BECAUSE IT'S MORE DRAMATIC THAT WAY!

Quote :

Slowly, she stepped outside into the darkness, shining the light in front of her as she walked to the area where the objects had fallen. At first she had thought it was a plane crash and she had grabbed her cell phone and had already had the number dialed and her finger on the send button.

Sorsa: WOW! She has nerves made of steel.
Jänis: If planes crashed into your backyard everyday, you would have steel nerves too, DUH!

Quote :

"What...what do you want with Sam?" The question brought Starscream out of his murderous stare, his grip loosening until Ellie could breathe.

"You know whom we seek?" It asked, putting its face mere inches from Ellie's. Ellie gulped, on the verge of passing out.

Sorsa: Faced with huge alien robot, who obviously isn't interested in hugging trees, she's surprisingly calm. I would be screaming in panic if I were her.
Jänis: BECAUSE YOU'RE IMPERFECT AND STUPID NORMAL TWO LEGGED HUMAN!
Sorsa: Gee, thanks. Didn't know that myself.

Quote :

Ellie brought her right foot up and smashed it against the head of the monster holding her by her prosthetic leg. Apparently, it did not know that it was not her leg, because it seemed puzzled as to why she was not shrieking in pain.

Sorsa: Cold blooded killer is bothered to wonder why his victim isn't in pain. I can't see any reason for that if he just gets the job done.
Jänis: I knew there was a perfectly good reason for her prosthetic leg.
Sorsa: No, you didn't.

Quote :

Iron Hide had already given himself over to the battle. It had been far too long since he had had a valid reason for discharging his arm cannons and he gladly made up for lost time punching holes in Skywarp's black and purple shell.

Sorsa: This is the first and last time we see Ironhide acting IC in this fic.
Jänis: Let's savour this moment.

Quote :

Though his words were lost as Ellie passed out in his hands.

Sorsa: Why on earth Sues tend to pass out as soon as the danger is over?
Jänis: YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT, BECAUSE YOU'RE AN UGLY FANFICTION FAGGOT.

Quote :

"At least we got to her before Ravage made her into a chew toy," Ratchet sounded relieved as he waved the other two mechs over to where he had the female laid down on the ground. "She managed to sever Thundercracker's secondary fuel line. Contact with the energon rendered her unconscious but she will not suffer any lasting damage."

Jänis: IT'S THE MOOMINMAMMA RATCHET!
Sorsa: Pipe down, will you?! I just wonder how could a human without any weapons damage something like a huge alien robot? Also where was this mentioned, my English must be failing me here.

Quote :

"I told you I liked the human," Iron Hide seemed proud of the small female as he took a look at her prone form on the ground. "Lucky little thing, though. She could have been a sticky smear with those fragging idiots dancing like frightened protoforms."

Sorsa and Jänis: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IRONHIDE?! WHY SO OOC?!
Sorsa: Is this the same robot who tries to blow up pretty much anything if annoyed or bored?
Jänis: Doesn't seem so.

Quote :

"I still find the act of suturing wounds fascinating," Ratchet seemed to like to speak to his audience as he worked on closing the long gash caused by a careless swipe of Ravage's paw. "The way human skin knits itself together by extending fibers to secure the opening closed is an ingenious use of resources." The medic seemed content to be the only one talking, his optics focused on the task at hand.

Sorsa: Did Ratchet just stitch the Sue together without any disinfectant?
Jänis: No worries, she's a Sue afterall. Sues don't get infected they just get cool looking scars.

Quote :

I have some water and Ibuprofen in the compartments and shall be able to..."

Sorsa: If the damage she took was as serious as told, the Ibuprofen won't help anything.
Jänis: BURANA HELPS FOR ANYTHING. Having a headache - Take some burana. Having a fever - Take some burana. Having a gushing wound in your leg - Take some burana.
Sorsa: Umm... Yeah, shall we do the next chapter?
Jänis: Whatever.

Chapter 3:

Quote :

If anything, she and Iron Hide would make fast friends. Being the daughter of a Tanker had its advantages. Including knowing how to shoot everything from a small 9mm to a 30aut if the situation warranted it. That and curse well enough to send a sailor into a sputtering fit.

Sorsa: Why is Sam thinking stuff like this, when the Sue is unconscious with a nasty wound on her leg? There aren't any more important things to think about?
Jänis: It's so sexy to be able to curse and how conveniently she can also shoot pretty much with anything. ALSO THE MISSPELLING OF IRONHIDE'S NAME IS STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES.

Quote :

His patient had awakened and was now grilling the medic on how in the world it could be driving without someone at the wheel. Apparently, Ratchet had given a rather snide answer, because Ellie had just called him a smart ass. Bumblebee was laughing softly over the music. Ratchet was asking the other Autobots if they would mind transporting a rather curious, handsy and lewd patient. Curious because Ellie was asking every question under the sun as her steel trap mind came to bear on the situation. Handsy because she was making sure to feel every inch of Ratchet's interior as though she could chaise out the gremlin behind the controls. And lewd because she was determined to test out exactly how learned Ratchet was in Human languages

Jänis: RATCHET MUST HAVE GIVEN HER OUTDATED BURANA!
Sorsa: Apart from that, the situation is supposed to be funny right?
Jänis: LAUGH YOU IDIOT!
Sorsa: I kind of doubt that somebody who had gone through everything she has, would be acting like this. I would be terrified.

Quote :

Ratchet voiced an affirmative. "And up until a year ago you had been chasing this All-Spark from time immemorial to restore life to said planet?" Ratchet again voiced an affirmative.

Jänis: RATCHET HAS TURNED INTO A TERMINATOR
Sorsa: :redangry:

Quote :

He had to admit that the human caught on fast. The only thing he had told her was that he and his fellow Autobots had been on the planet for about a year and that they had fought to obtain the All-Spark to give their species a fighting chance, and she had pieced the rest together from that. "And this All-Spark...I assume it was destroyed if you are still here." That last part was a statement, and again Ratchet had to admit that she was right. The female seemed to lay there for several more minutes. Ratchet could have sworn he could hear the gears in her head turning through all this time.

Jänis: It's the Moominmamma!Ratchet again.
Sorsa: You'll be seeing more of him like that. Also am I detecting classical Sue symptoms here. At least I wouldn't be able to gather all that from so little information given to me.
Jänis: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU AR...
Sorsa: I GET IT ALREADY.

Quote :

Ellie sat up and looked down at the small yellow Camero following beside them.

Jänis: IT'S CAMARO! GET YOUR CARS RIGHT.

Quote :

Iron Hide kept laughing, his frame bobbing up and down as though he were driving over five foot deep pot holes. "I'll take her off your processor, Ratchet. She seems pretty healthy."

"And let you corrupt her more than she already is?" Ratchet seemed incredulous at this. "No, absolutely not. Besides, I would never let a half dressed young woman within twenty feet of your cab. There's no telling what your twisted little spark would come up with." Bumblebee did laugh this time as Iron Hide sputtered at the insinuation.

Jänis: I think I just figured this out!
Sorsa: What? What did you figure out?
Jänis: This Iron Hide is actually one more OC and Ratchet's mind has been switched with Moominmamma's with Wheeljack's mindswapping machine.
Sorsa: Oh wow...

Quote :

Within this picture he could see, along with the bots, a lone human. The human was fending off a rather large looking feline. Keller knew that this was no cat from the way its eyes glowed molten crimson.

Jänis: This guy's a genius! It's so damn hard to tell apart a cat made of metal and a cat made of flesh and fur. I'm glad that I was told this.
Sorsa: Are you trying to hijack my snark? I'm going to skip chapters now, since nothing really is going to happen, except that Chromia makes an appearance.

Chapter 6:

Quote :

Like tonight, when Sam came, Mikaela could swear that his eyes had become the same sky blue as Bumblebee's, their glow piercing through the darkness and into her mind.

Jänis: Sam's just using contacts, relax.
Sorsa: How can you say like that! It could be something more dangerous!
Jänis: Like turning into a robot?
Sorsa: *Hits Jänis to head* Humans don't turn into robots!

Quote :

Mikaela couldn't speak yet. She almost expected to hear Sam tell her it was a joke, that it was silly for her to love him and Bumblebee at the same time. But when all she heard was silence, she looked into Sam's eyes, seeing her smile reflected back at her. So it was true that Sam had feelings for Bumblebee as well. The thought sent a warm tremor through her body. "But, how would we...be together?" The question made her feel a little stupid, but she had been wondering ever since she had discovered that she saw Bumblebee as more than just Sam's Camero.

Sorsa: :unskilled78: *Dies*
Jänis: Fuck you Sorsa, are you that weak?! First of all it's CAMARO. Secondly, is this turning into one of those humans smecks up with robots? Because IT'S TOTALLY HAWT TO HAVE THREESOME WITH ROBOTS AND HUMANS.

Quote :

"Well, Bee told me about a few ways. One would be if we touched his Spark. He said it would feel kind of like sex but you would definitely not be able to take his...well, the best word for it would be 'transfer cable'," Sam laughed at Mikaela's expression. "Yea...when he showed it to me, I got a little jealous." Mikaela let out a snort, poking Sam in the ribs. "Yea, it looks a lot like a human's, except it has prongs." Mikaela had to bury her face in Sam's shoulder to keep from laughing too hard.

Jänis: Sam's being penis envy to a cable? That's just pathetic.
Sorsa: And I don't understand why affection is always measured with sex? You can't love somebody without having sex?
Jänis: You haven't obviously never had a good fuck...
Sorsa: *Punches Jänis*

Quote :

"Prongs? What does it plug into?" Mikaela remembered earlier with Iron Hide and Chromia. "You mean it goes to the same place? You mean the females have a...a..."

Jänis: IT'S A ROBOT DICK AFTER ALL!
Sorsa: No it's not. It doesn't go into vagina - Therefore it is not robot penis.

Quote :

"He has a hologram, I think it's called. It's pretty solid, and he can feel through it.

Jänis: IT'S TIME FOR HOLO-SEX
Sorsa: It's a hologram for god's sake. It's not real! Even in IDW's comics the holo material wasn't able to move their mouths and they probably didn't feel anything either.

Quote :

Sam watched, completely entranced as Iron Hide opened Chromia's spark containment chamber, using his hands to gently caress the glowing star within her chest. He could almost hear the femme's cries as the two were lit up by a pulse of light from Chromia's spark. Sam grinned when he realized what had happened, watching as Iron Hide linked the two of them together with a transfer cable the size of an Elephant's...trunk. Sam's jaw dropped. He remembered what Bumblebee had told him about Transformers as they got older. 'More information is transferred between mating couples when those couples are older and have spent more time together. The transfer cable needs to grow to accommodate the exchange of increasing amounts of information.' Apparently Iron Hide and Chromia had been bonded for several million years. That would explain a lot. And he was among the oldest, even older than Optimus Prime.

Sorsa: Thank you for this detailed description of robo-sex.
Jänis: I'm more bothered by Sam voyering there.
Sorsa: Also what's up with the robo-penis growing over time.
Jänis: IT'S NOT A ROBO-PENIS - IT'S NOT CONNECTED TO HIS LOWER BODY.
Sorsa: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL A HUGE MEMBER THAT'S DESCRIBED TO LOOK MUCH LIKE HUMAN PENIS?
Jänis: TRANSFER CABLE!
Sorsa: You are officially fired now! *Kicks Jänis away*


Rest of the chapter was just more robo-sex. Now I'm off to find another person to work with me - Somebody who's a bit more sensible.

*Goes off to radiate stupidity and ooze cute*

I do not apologize for this fic. It was a learning experience for me and was written before I knew the fine assholes people of HOBFF.

That is all.

^^That's a rookie mistake, and you hate to see it.

It's true, however this was written before I truly knew what badfic was. I read it now and cringe.

Mythandariel wrote:

It's true, however this was written before I truly knew what badfic was. I read it now and cringe.

That's very interesting.

Unfortunately it seems that after Jänis begged me to take them back and I let them hop back on this thing(Jänis promised to give me cookies afterwards). Here in my unfunny glory I present more snark on No Rest for the Weary by Mythandariel.

Jänis: You won't get away from me that easily!
Sorsa: *Sigh* So it seems...

Chapter 7

Quote :

Ellie shielded her eyes as the sun poured in through the uncovered window. The young woman groaned and rolled to her side, sitting up as a large Deuce-and-a-half pulled up into the central area between the barracks. Ellie was about to pull the pillow over her head when she heard someone pounding at the front door. Groaning loudly, Ellie stood on her right leg and used the crutch to walk over to the window, heaving it open with an irritated shove. She gave the Captain with his fist raised at her door a look that would have peeled the paint off of Iron Hide. “Wrong door,” she grunted, staring blearily at the army Captain. The men on her door step stopped talking and stared at the woman in the window. Ellie was clad in nothing more than a sports bra and a pair of boxers, both an alarming shade of lavender that clashed violently with her ginger colored hair.

Sorsa: Who cares what colour her underwear is?
Jänis: I do... *fap fap*
Sorsa: Cut it out already! Is this supposed to be funny? Why I'm not laughing here?
Jänis: IT'S NOT FOR THE LIKES OF YOU!

Quote :

"Don't worry, dad. Sarah and Iron Hide promised to take me into town today and get some new clothes," Ellie smiled, demonstrating by sticking her finger through a large hole in her shirt. "I think these have had it."

Jänis: "Ironhide also promised to carry my shopping bags!"
Sorsa: I know what you are getting at, WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Quote :

"Yes, Major Murdock?" Iron Hide had to kneel to keep Bert from having to crane his neck up too high. Bert shifted his cane slightly, grunting at the soreness in his knees.

"Call me Burt. Rank's not needed among friends." The weathered face smiled brightly, making Iron Hide chuckle. "Me and Margie, Ellie's mother, might be gone for a couple of days. Keep an eye on my daughter, will you? But don't be too obvious...I might be a Major, but she's the tougher one."

Jänis: GIANT ALIEN ROBOT IS BABYSITTING A GIRL! HOW FUNNY IS THAT!
Sorsa: ...
Jänis: WHY NOBODY IS LAUGHING?!

Quote :

"Oh good. It's 'Rib Iron Hide Day'." Iron Hide groaned as Sam and Mikaela stepped around a thrashing Bumblebee who could not hold in his laughter, filling the air with fast clicks that sounded like a Geiger counter gone wild. "I do want to thank you for the inspiration though," Mikaela wagged her eyebrows at Iron Hide who groaned as though he were in pain.

Sorsa: Why is this chapter filled with unfunny jokes? This must have looked much funnier inside author's head.
Jänis: YOU WOULDN'T GET IT, BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A CYNICAL BASEMENT NERD!

Quote :

Bumblebee released a hiss from his hydraulics as he felt the soapy sponge on his rear fender. Sam was on his left side, hosing him down so that the dried mud slid off onto the ground, making him shudder. The water pressure was just enough for it's purpose, yet too weak to stimulate him much more than a fleeting caress. A few minutes of this treatment and Bumblebee was a bundle of frustrated wires. He let out a whine as Mikaela slowly came around to his left side with the sponge, trailing little bubbles along his frame. The sensation was intoxicating as the bubbles were followed by the water washing them off before they dried on his paint.

Sorsa Guess what's going to ensue :lolinsane:
Jänis IS IT THE THREESOME SMECKSING TIME?
Sorsa: I promised you threesome - Now here you have threesome! Though I wonder how Bumblebee can cope with everyday life without getting aroused at every opportunity?

Quote :

Sam's scent was beginning to take on a rather inorganic flair. Most males his age exuded a musky odor exuded from scent glands under the arms and inner thighs.

Sorsa: Oh gee! I wonder what's going to happen to Sam while this fic progresses forward.
Jänis: He's going to turn into a robot?
Sorsa: Didn't I already say THAT HUMANS DON'T TURN INTO ROBOTS! *Punches Jänis*
Jänis: OUCH!

Quote :

"M...Mik...Mikaela?" Bumblebee's voice squeaked uncontrollably as he turned all his sensors on the sight and recorded everything, every delicious mille-second. Mikaela smiled as she used her body like the sponge, smearing the soap around the windows as the sponge in her hands washed his top. She could feel the minute shudders run through his frame as she slowly washed him. Sam still had that grin on his face as he turned a gentle stream of water onto Mikaela, washing the soap suds as much from Bumblebee as well as Mikalea. An audible groan issued from the yellow mech, making the two young adults grin.

Jänis: Mikaela is Spongebob in disguise!
Sorsa: Oh god this is ridicuous - The same thought never crossed their minds? Also wtf author does this turn you on?!

Quote :

Bumblebee was in utter shock, standing stock still as his CPU tried to understand what had happened. He had been so keyed up for the last half hour that he almost overloaded. Now, Mikaela was getting dressed as though nothing had happened at all. "Now for your interior." Bumblebee nearly overloaded as Mikaela opened his door and sat on his driver's seat with a bottle of Armorall in one hand and a rag in the other. "We need to get every inch of you clean and shiny. Wouldn't do to get too dirty, would it?" Bumblebee sighed as Mikaela started wiping his dashboard with the rag.

Jänis: *fap fap* THIS SO HAWT
Sorsa: STOP IT, WILL YOU! At least we were spared of robo-penises this time, but doesn't make it any less disturbing how they are perfectly comfortable with this, even though they just found out their sexual attraction between each other.

Chapter 8

Quote :

Iron Hide harrumphed, settling on his suspension. The mech sighed in contentment as Chromia got up and walked off. Not paying attention, Iron Hide slipped back into recharge. It felt good to have nothing pressing to do immediately. No Decepticons to fight, no crisis to avert. Unless one considered Chromia using a water hose to thoroughly soak Iron Hide with the highest pressure a crisis. The resulting scream from the large Autobot woke the entire base to two mechs wrestling in the mud trying to gain control of the water hose.

Sorsa: I thought we were through with these funny bits. What's the funny part? *yawns*
Jänis: YOU INSENSITIVE TWAT!
Sorsa: No, seriously this chapter as well is filled with jokes that would probably appeal kindergarden aged audience. I'm gonna skip over it, since I'm too bored to make any fun of it.

Quote :

"Do not misunderstand me, Sam. I do not mean to dissuade you from your decision. What you, Mikaela and Bumblebee do is your own business and is not our place to judge." This was getting off course from what Sam wanted to talk about, but he welcomed the distraction. "What you have is nothing new to us, Sam. The feelings between you three are mutual and strong. So long as none are harmed within this relationship then you have nothing to fear from us. Your parents, however, are a different matter. Though I highly doubt that you would confide something of this nature in them. After all most humans seem to hold relationships between pairs higher than those between three or more." Ratchet seemed to catch himself as he was about to launch into an explanation of bonding between mechs. "Excuse me, but you wanted to speak to me about something other than your personal life?"

Jänis: See, it's perfectly okay to have threesome that includes giant alien robot!
Sorsa: Also it's Moominmamma!Ratchet again. Oh why, don't you have any personality Ratchet, Oh Why?

Quote :

Sam listened, his eyebrows raising. "Well...yea. I don't go to the bathroom that much anymore. I think the last time I took a piss was...three days ago. And what exactly do you mean by 'craving odd things'?" Sam followed the medic around with his eyes, noticing that he was now talking to himself in Cybertronian, sounding like guttural curses grinding themselves between two big rocks. "I swallowed a couple of pennies a few weeks ago. I haven't seen them since." Sam started, noticing how Ratchet stopped what he was doing, watching him with narrowed optics before going back to grumbling again. "And when my dad was cutting the metal tubes for the fountain in our back yard...I, er, ate the metal shavings. I don't know why, it just seemed like a really good idea at the time." Sam decided to play dumb to get Ratchet to stop pacing between machines and grumbling. "What? Do I have a metal glob blocking me up? Am I about to shoot a metal turd the size of a cannon ball out, or something?

Sorsa: Sam's apparently an idiot. If I ever had stuff like that going on I would freak out, I mean not taking a piss for a half week is scary in itself, but eating coins and other metal stuff is beyond freaky.
Jänis: I tell you he's going to TURN INTO A ROBOT!
Sorsa *Smacks Jänis* HUMANS DON'T TURN INTO ROBOTS, BELIEVE ME ALREADY!

Quote :

"This is the scan I just took of your internals. There should be a heart, lungs, intestines and such in your body cavity. However as you can see, they are MIA at the moment. What you have 'acquired' instead is a pump not unlike ours. Your pump seems to have borrowed it's designs from your own systems, which are quite efficient at their use of energy. The blood that should be flowing through your body has shifted into something like the energon that flows through our systems. This is the means by which your body is slowly exchanging metal for organics and why you have not needed to take in as much water as you normally would." Ratchet pointed toward where the scan would normally show the shape of his bowels. "You have a tank here as well. Your intestines, at least what they are now are dedicated to manufacturing energon with the food you have been taking in. The only reason your body seems to need water or normal food right now is to give it a means with which to carry the exchanged wastes out of your body. Even the cells of your body have started to change. For example, you have two kinds of cells that live on your bones. Ostioclasts and Ostioblasts. As their names describe, one builds bone another destroys bone. These seem to have become similar to the nanites that populate our bodies. They are facilitating the exchange going on as we speak." Ratchet shook his head, looking tired all of a sudden.

Jänis:
Sorsa: Fine fine! You were right! But this still doesn't explain, why he's turning into a robot. I just don't get it...
Jänis: SO HE CAN SMECKS UP BETTER WITH BUMBLEBEE OF COURSE!
Sorsa: Stop feeding me nasty mental images!

Chapter 9
Sorsa: This is going to be the last chapter for today or otherwise my brain will melt.
Jänis: BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK!
Sorsa: What is wrong with you?! Can't you be QUIET FOR A WHILE?!

Quote :

Sam barely had time to ponder his current situation when Ellie and Mikaela were bodily thrown into the med-bay, the doors slamming shut again. The click of the locking mechanism echoed through out the hanger making the darkness that much more profound. Through the sounds of heated battle outside, Sam could hear two people making their way through the pitch blackness. Their whispers filtered into his ears, recognizing their voices immediately. “Mikaela? Ellie? I'm back here.” The two women ran as fast as they could, Mikaela embracing Sam as soon as she could feel him. “What's going on out there?”

Jänis: Nothing much Mikaela, the Autobots are just planting some trees to cover their CO2 footprint.
Sorsa Good point. Why don't they show Transformers planting trees - It would fit the overrall climate we have nowadays.

Quote :

He vaguely felt Ellie pulling him toward where she had managed to drag up a portion of the canvas under Jazz's arm. He didn't fight as he was shoved underneath, the sunlight blocked out as she and Mikaela secured the canvas again.

Sorsa: Did they just hide like little kids? What you can't see doesn't exists?
Jänis: Aren't you worried that they basicly HID UNDER A CORPSE!?
Sorsa: It's not a corpse - It's just a metal frame of the robot who used to be called Jazz and who is now dead.

Quote :

In the silent chaos, all three had reached out to grab one another, each of their hands falling on the shard of the All-Spark. As they reached out to steady themselves on the body of Jazz, their world exploded into white.

Jänis: THEY EXPLODED INTO OBLIVION?!
Sorsa: Well, no. Though I wished they would.
Jänis: :crap:
Sorsa: Where the fuck did the All-Spark shard appear? Why they didn't use it for Jazz right away? WTF IS GOING ON?! My English must be failing me again.
Jänis: That's nothing new from you...

Quote :

"Watch yourself, the three little ones are out cold. They deserve to rest after all they've done," Jazz smiled down at the three humans unconcious between his feet. All three were sprawled out as though they had fallen from a standing position, their clothing in tatters from the heat of the blast. Their forms were covered in metal bits remaining from Ratchet's stash of parts. They seemed to have no injuries, their skin unblemished by either burn or cut. But there was one other thing missing from the scene. The shard of the All-Spark was no where to be found.

Sorsa: They revived Jazz just to have him do nothing in the following 12 chapters of this monster. Also where the Hell did the All-Spark shard appear? I DON'T FUCKING GET IT?!
Jänis: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU AR...
Sorsa: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS NO LIFE OUTSIDE INTERNET! *Whacks Jänis unconscious with baseball bat*

I'm going to take a break now or otherwise I'll break down from all this chaos and Sue. I promise you a Sue turning into a Transformer in the next chapter and other lulzy shit.

Lulz.