:: the lights come on in the MST viewing arena, revealing Hadiya Tannous and the Transformers Generation One version of Ultra Magnus sitting next to each other, facing the vid screen::
Hadiya: So my favorite Transformer of the whole multiverse happens to be sitting next to me in this theater. ::points to Ultra Magnus, who looks dubious:: I like his build, I love his personality, I love his story, and I especially love the fact that he was voiced by Robert Stack in the 1986 animated movie.
Ultra Magnus: Voiced? What do you mean by--
Hadiya: N-nothing! ::laughs nervously:: Unfortunately, I seem to be one of the few Transformers fans that has this opinion of him, since only a handful of fanfics under his character category actually have anything to do with him. The rest of the fanfics deal with his hammer-wielding, douchenozzle counterpart in Transformers: Animated.
Ultra Magnus: Well, that does make sense. I am just a soldier, and compared to my alternate self I'm just--
::Hadiya glares at him, silencing him.::
Hadiya: Quit that. Anyway, I honestly wouldn't be bothered by the lack of fics for Mr. Low Self Esteem here if the ones that existed were any good, but unfortunately for me they mostly consist of poor writing, Mary Sues, and/or some combination of rape, torture, and G1 Cyclonus. ::Ultra Magnus looks ill at this.:: But one particular fanfic in this category...intrigues me, so to say, so I've brought it here for analysis.
Ultra Magnus:...I'm not being raped by the Sharkticons again, am I?
Hadiya: Hell no! Do you think I'm so much of an asshole that I'd bring you in here to snark your own rape and torture? No, this fic has no non!con in it, but instead you go temporarily deaf and fall in love with Omega Supreme in the span of several hours...who ends up bearing your child.
Ultra Magnus: Oh, thank Primu--wait, WHAT?!
Hadiya: Let's have at it, then!
Senses: Hearing: The Deaf Shall Hear
Ultra Magnus:: sputtering in surprise:: Hadiya, I barely even know Omega Supreme! I don't even think we appeared on screen together in those holo-documentaries your universe somehow got a hold of!
Hadiya: You think I don't know that? However, this fic apparently takes place in Bay's Movieverse, so G1 canon is null in this piece.
Ultra Magnus:: is resigned to the fic but still confused:: But Omega Supreme and I aren't even in the movies yet.
Hadiya: I know. ::knocks on wood so hard splinters embed in her knuckles:: Fanfic's funny like that--you'll have to get used to such canon bending.
Ultra Magnus: Must I?
- Quote :
- The silence was literally deafening.
Mouths moved, speaking to him…
He couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear a word…
Ultra Magnus: Apparently, become deaf has made my mental patterns match those of William Shatner's verbal speech.
Hadiya: CRRAWWWWWLLLLINNNG INNNNNN MY SKIIINNN! THIS ORRANGE WILLLL NOT PEEEEEEL!
So, apparently the Autobots just had a huge battle with the Decepticons, causing Ultra Magnus to become temporarily deaf. However, since he sees that others are far more injured than he is, he acts perfectly in character (relish this, it won't last forever) and decides to let the others be treated before alerting the medics, Ratchet and First Aid (who also isn't in the Movieverse), to his condition.
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- And for the first time in his entire existence he felt a burning fear, one that consumed every part of him, leaving him drowning within the quiet.
Ultra Magnus: Why am I afraid? I'm temporarily deaf--not glitching out or losing copious amounts of vital fluids.
Hadiya: Would you really be so nonchalant about the situation?
Ultra Magnus: I was once literally blown apart by Galvatron, Cyclonus, and the Sweeps. I can say, for certain, that being temporarily deaf with no other injuries would be nowhere near as terrifying or painful as being torn apart limb by limb and fearing your death because of it. This other me needs to get his back struts reinforced.
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- Seeing (Ratchet and First Aid together), sent a jealous spark of something running through his chassis, an emotion he had never felt before. Envy. An unexplainable envy that bubbled up at the sight of the two, the Bonded pair were so graceful, working together as one, hands healing… saving lives… loving each other… Love… What was it like to have a love like that? Strong, overpowering, someone who understood everything, welcomed you with open arms and forgave all your failings.
He wanted it.
Craved it.
Ultra Magnus::wincing::...However, what I CAN assure you is that if I were ever temporarily deaf, my processor would be on far more important things than feeling bitter over Ratchet and First Aid's apparent relationship.
Hadiya: Hands healing, saving lives, and loving each other at the same time? I know I'm probably taking this entirely the wrong way, but the mental image of those two performing those three actions simultaneously both disturbed and amused me highly.
Ultra Magnus: Seriously, why the slag am I just standing there in the first place? Why am I not checking on the others, or helping with the recovery effort, or assisting the medics, or analyzing post-mission statistics, or attending the inevitable post-battle briefing with Prime and the other officers? I'm deaf, not incompetent.
- Quote :
- But his first loyalty was to the Autobot cause. His first thought was of the cause. He had been the one to kill any relationships he had had, none of them had understood him… A big strong Mech who could command an army was not meant to… to ease so gracefully into a submissive role, easily sliding into the awkward… self-conscious and self-denying personality. Ultra Magnus was an Autobot Field Commander, not some… unconfident soldier struggling to believe in his own abilities.
They had been disillusioned with him.
Disillusioned and disappointed.
Disappointed…
It hurt… stinging him.
Hadiya: Hey, I'm actually really impressed at how in character you are right now. ::realizes what she just said and at what moment:: I-I mean, umm...!
Ultra Magnus: It's fine. You are correct after all. ::is still embarrassed:: While this other me does seem to be perfectly..."in character" as you say it, and while I have had the exact same issues with love and others understanding me in the past, it still begs the question as to why I seem to think the direct aftermath of an obviously brutal and casualty-filled conflict with the Decepticons is the perfect time to wangst over such facts instead of doing my fragging job.
- Quote :
- It had been long moments as the battle raged around him that he realised he couldn't hear anything but the calls over his comm.
Ultra Magnus:: is starting to look annoyed:: Wait a minute. So you're saying that, while my audios are temporarily disabled, I am still able to hear calls over my internal comm and am thus still able to perfectly engage with dialogue with everyone else.
Hadiya: Yes...
Ultra Magnus:: now looks extremely annoyed:: So, even though there is nothing preventing me from performing my necessary duties in an extremely tense and chaotic situation, this other self of mine insists on lazing about uselessly and selfishly whining about his feelings while the world figuratively burns around him...what the slag?!
Hadiya: Yeah...this you is falling out of character pretty damn quickly at this point.
- Quote :
- His optics glanced about him at the gravely wounded and he was determined suddenly. He could handle this, others needed the care of the Medics far more than he did. His audios would repair themselves.
Ultra Magnus: Finally--it's about damn time you started to act responsibly!
Hadiya: He's trying to remain in character! Hang in there, Alter!Magnus! Don't give up!
- Quote :
- Gazing down, he felt his Spark freeze in his chest as he looked down at a rather beautiful Mech, slender limbs and coloured in oranges and grey, almost like a sunset over the desert… One with a concerned look in those green optic. He didn't recognise this Mech. Ultra Magnus prided himself on knowing each and every Mech under the command of Optimus Prime, he had just never seen this beautiful being before.
Ultra Magnus and Hadiya:
...
Hadiya: That's...Omega Supreme? The Transformer the size of a skyscraper and is one of the bulky, un-streamlined mechs in the series? The HELL?
Ultra Magnus: Better yet, how did I fail to even notice him before? I would understand if he were a new arrival at the base or a minibot, but it would be a severe understatement to state that it is hard to miss seeing Omega Supreme. More like your optical sensors would have to be severely defective to not realize his presence.
Hadiya: ::groans:: Get ready, you're already making goo-goo eyes at him upon first sight, so the rest of the fic does not bode well.
- Quote :
- Green optics narrowed slightly on him, that servo tightened against his arm, tugging Magnus to stand on his own two feet and he wobbled ever so slightly. Those lips pressed into a firm rather displeased line, clearly not believing Magnus. Clearly stubborn enough to face off against Magnus, those servos were sliding over his black and blue armour as far as he could reach, gaining small flinches as those fingers touched sensitive wounds that the giant Mech had been ignoring.
Ultra Magnus: And WHY am I letting this Autobot I've somehow never met before paw all over me again?
Hadiya: Because you seem to have no spine--I mean, back struts--in this damn fic.
So the surprisingly tiny and attractive Omega Supreme realizes Ultra Magnus is deaf and injured and does his best to help him, the two creepily interacting all the while.
- Quote :
- And hands were suddenly going up to either side of his head, there was a slight tingle rushing through his systems at the touch, a powerful scan washing through him. The feeling of it strangely familiar, he had felt a scan like this before… recently… But his processors couldn't place it.
Ultra Magnus:
Hadiya: Every breath you taaaaaakkkkkkkeeeee...
Ultra Magnus: Please don't start.
- Quote :
- The Medic sat down beside Magnus, barely two third's the giant blue and black Mech's side, a hand stroking across his arm again, drawing in closer. Those green optics were watching him for a moment, hoping that Magnus would trust him. Lean against me. It was a soft whisper that came from nowhere, startled bright blue optics widened before his body instantly obeyed, grateful for the support as his head dripped to allow the other Mech to reach his audio… The Medic was 'leaning' back against Magnus, appearing as if it were the bigger Mech holding the smaller one up.
Hadiya: Well aren't you two awfully intimate despite you not even knowing Omega Supreme's name.
Ultra Magnus: This is not me. I'm not quite sure who it is yet, but so far it only resembles me by build and name. I know this because if I was deaf, tired, and injured and some random mech I didn't know tried to pull me into such an intimate position, I would resist forcibly and threaten to charge them with misconduct.
So Omega Supreme tells Ultra Magnus his name, and Ultra Magnus is all "wtf why are you so tiny" (which is what we're all thinking by this point), and the chapter ends.
On to chapter two!
- Quote :
- Author's Note: XD got to looooooooove the romance developing between them. XD Hope you like it! Xd REVIEW ^_^ please! XD I have a few more ideas for the next chapter, some people might start questioning about Omega and Magnus... or at least why Omega is hanging aroudn Magnus. XD Maybe I'll indulge in a chapter of them curled up together xDDDDDDDD I sooooooo want to see that now!
::both Hadiya and Ultra Magnus are horrified::
Ultra Magnus: Can I leave now? I think Autobot City's on fire. And flooding with acid. And being attacked by Galvatron. At the same time. Very pressing issues, you see.
Hadiya: Oh no--don't you DARE leave me to do this by myself.
- Quote :
- Suddenly, he realized there were fingertips stroking over his helm, slow and soothing, driving away the pounding throb behind his dimmed optics. His head was in someone's lap, massive shoulders resting against a slender thigh, his frame stiffening sharply as all this seemed to sink into his processors. Someone was holding him. Someone must have remained with him after he had fallen into helpless recharge. It felt good… So good to have someone there with him, his berth had been empty for so long now, he barely stayed in it himself, not being able to stand the… bareness, the loneliness and stillness.
Hadiya: You've known each other for around two hours now. SLOW DOWN.
Ultra Magnus: Are you kidding me? Repairing me while I'm offline is completely fine, but manhandling me in such a way while I'm unconscious, not knowing if I would want such ministrations? I'm his superior officer! Omega Supreme would normally be contending with insubordination charges at this time, but other me obviously doesn't care, being the ineffectual pod Transformer that he is.
- Quote :
- His gaze flickered upwards almost nervously; optics catching sight of that beautiful face again, Omega Supreme... or at least what he understood was the large Guardian's 'head' component by his estimations.
Ultra Magnus and Hadiya: Ooooooooooohhhhhhh...
- Quote :
- This was a Mech not scared to challenge him, not afraid of someone his size, considering that Omega Supreme was significantly larger than even the towering, dashingly handsome frame of the soldier.
Hadiya: "Dashingly handsome"? My God, the author's turning Alter!Magnus and Alter!Supreme into bishounen! NOOOOOOOO!!
So Omega Supreme takes Ultra Magnus back to his messy room, which he offers to clean despite barely knowing Ultra Magnus, being the apparent robot!housewife that he is.
Ultra Magnus: So I'm just going to let a mech I barely know organize my personal items and paw through datapads full of sensitive reports and material. GAH.
- Quote :
- "Stay."
Suddenly Omega froze, his head lifting sharply to stare at Ultra Magnus, jaw dropping slightly, unable to make heads or tails of this. What did you say to something like that? Especially when it was coming from the usually shy and very 'private' Field Commander.
"Stay here with me, if only for a night. I won't do anything… I just…" His mouth closed suddenly, denta clicking together uncertainly, expression vulnerable, needing… His words were slightly hesitant but it was clear he desired nothing more than to have the other Mech in his arms. "Please… Just for tonight…"
And it was Magnus's turn to freeze when an empty cube that had been in Omega's hand dropped to the floor with a clatter, green optics wide and gazing straight at the other Mech. He had wanted to stay anyway… Magnus's arms unexpectedly found themselves full of a orange and grey form, arms wrapping about his shoulders, curling about them lightly, drawing Magnus's head down enough for warm lips to brush across his face. Warm… tender… happy…
I'll stay. For you. Arms were closing tightly about him, Omega surprised to feel his feet leaving the ground, as Magnus stood straight, cradling the smaller Mech to him. For as long as you like…
Ultra Magnus:...WHAT.
Hadiya: So Alter!Magnus and Alter!Supreme instantly love each other, despite only knowing each other for the time span of an evening, half of which Alter!Magnus was unconscious. Jesus Christ, this is turning into a Goddamned yaoi manga!
Ultra Magnus:: looks both infuriated and defeated at the same time:: Do we have to do much more of this tonight? My logic circuits are going to fritz out and explode at this rate.
Hadiya: Just two more quick chapters and then we'll call it a day. You can go out for some high-grade and I can ram my head through a wall. You know, as stress relief.
On to chapter three! The beginning is full of stupid potpourri, with Ultra Magnus taking a shower, Omega Supreme apparently showing off his "Things I Saw on My Vacation to Cybertron" picture album, and dialogue that should not be occurring between two beings that have known each other less than twenty-four hours. We also get this scene:
- Quote :
- Slightly flustered, he was turning slightly, his arms soon wrapping about the slender frame like they had before, Omega seemed rather pleased with the embrace, large hands sliding softly down over the silky grey and orange paintwork. The little frame was surprisingly 'cold', internals just a little more chilled then Magnus's own, his head dipped slightly, catching the strange little quiver. The slender Mech's internal temperature regulators were playing 'frazzle'; clearly Magnus wasn't the only one of the pair to have taken battle damage.
"You're freezing…"
I… Magnus… Arms wrapped about that slender waist, he was pulling the warm frame against his own, that smaller body instantly melted against him, face tucking in and letting out a very grateful sound. Blue and Black armour was wonderfully heated, chasing away the chill in his limbs.
"You should have told me."
That face buried itself against his shoulder, small long fingered servos were curling against his back armour, gripping it a little more tightly and clung to him. It was clear; Omega had been far more worried about his own health than worrying about his own… though Magnus worried about the 'bigger' part of Omega… But also…
Ultra Magnus:: is now clearly suffering from a processor-ache and is rubbing his "temples":: So, even though Omega Supreme is clearly more badly injured than I am, even to the point of throwing his internal homeostasis off kilter, I decide that the best course of action is--not to immediately send him off to medbay to check for internal injures--but to snuggle him.
Hadiya: Yes.
Ultra Magnus:: puts his face in his hands and groans/sobs in exasperation:: I think my audios aren't the only parts of my head that are damaged...
- Quote :
- A slow steady throb beneath his fingertips spoke of the Spark that existed within this smaller component, those green optics lifted slightly to gaze up at Magnus. Before lips were lightly brushing against his chestplates softly, cheek rubbing ever so softly against the warm armour. An audio was pressed against his chassis, clearly returning the 'listening' he had just done, a soft murmur of approval, the soft brush of air telling him more…
Hadiya: YOU HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN HALF A DAY. YOU ONLY JUST NOW LEARNED EACH OTHERS' NAMES. YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY BE ANYWHERE NEAR IN LOVE AS THE AUTHOR THINKS YOU ARE. QUIT IT.
- Quote :
- What voice came from between those tempting lips? Trying to shake himself from his thoughts, he was surprised just how much power the grey and orange Mech had over Magnus's thought processes. Not that he minded in the slightest…
Berth or couch?
Despite how tired he was… he wanted nothing more than a chance to indulge in… in cuddling, because it seemed Omega was quite welcome to the idea of it.
"Couch."
A shriek of laughter escaped the Mech when suddenly those big arms were slipping beneath him and lifting him with ease, arms wrapping tightly about Magnus's shoulders, clinging to the Mech. The big black and blue transformer looked delighted as he carried his smaller companion towards the couch that rested up against one wall. The vid screen was flickering on, old Cybertronian programs playing, though he couldn't hear the sound… he could still appreciate the old programs…
Long limbs were stretching out across the couch, the small body sprawled out across him, a hand tugging at a large piece of thick fabric… where had something like that come from? The softness brushed across their armour as Omega curled across Magnus with the 'blanket' spread across both of them it was large enough. There was going to be some serious cuddling rather soon…
Hadiya:
Ultra Magnus: What is this--with the blankets--and the cuddling--why do I even have a blanket in my room--why am I doing this--I just--I just--AAUUUGGHHH!
Hadiya: Hang in there--we have only one more chapter to go for tonight, Ultra Magnus! If you can handle Galvatron and the Dinobots on a daily basis, then you can handle this!
We cap things of with chapter four, and we start off with the two extremely out of character mechs (my God, what has the author done with Omega Supreme?!) cuddling, with Ultra Magnus worrying--reasonably--if this whole situation is too good to be true (it's about time he used those logic circuits!). This would be annoying enough on its own, but no, the author has to give Omega Supreme a backstory that's so pointlessly wangsty even a stereotypical teenage girl would roll her eyes at it.
- Quote :
- Omega wanted this relationship, he had attempted one previously, wishing to learn what it was like... his choice in partner had been severely lacking in logic. He was used and dumped... One night of 'appreciation' before Sunstreaker lost interest and chased after other more desirable Mechs. He should have listened to the warnings given to him... but he had been flattered by the attention, flattered by all those words...
Hadiya and Ultra Magnus:
- Quote :
- You wouldn't discard me right? He didn't think Magnus would do that to him, those arms immediately tightened about him, fingers curling almost possessively beneath his armour plating, clinging to him and holding him as close as possible.
That head shook sharply, blue optics staring in disbelief, he would never... never willingly let Omega go.
You wouldn't use me... then decide you no longer wanted me...?
Another sharp shake. Those digits were caressing his shoulders and spinal plating, running in slow circles, his vocal capacitor seemed to have left him as he was asked these rather blunt questions. But it was reassuring him in a surprising way, making him see he would live up to all the things that would make this mech happy.
You wouldn't treat me like scrap? You wouldn't betray me... promising things that you had no intention of keeping?
Hadiya: ARGH! This relationship is starting to resemble a high school drama, and that is no no way a compliment to this story. For heaven's sake, Alter!Supreme, you're in a war for your very survival and yet you spend your time whinging over such pretty relationship drama?!
Ultra Magnus: Now Alter!Magnus is starting to act like a clingy, possessive stalker. I wonder if it's normal to be afraid of one's self, because I'm coming close to that point.
- Quote :
- "Who did that to you? Who was it?" He wanted to take his rifle shove it up their aft and blast them all the way to the pit. Then whatever remained after they had suffered there for their crime would feel the full force of Ultra Magnus's armament. He would not stand for anyone abusing his... his? Was he allowed to think that?
Ultra Magnus:...And that point has been officially reached.
Hadiya: Jesus, Alter!Magnus, calm the fuck down. For one, you've known him for only half a day, which gives you no right to have such possessive, jealous, and indignant anger over Alter!Supreme. Secondly, this is Sunstreaker we're talking about--the mech with a reputation for being a sociopath a mile long. Instead of being angry at Sunstreaker for being...well, Sunstreaker, you should really be wondering about Alter!Supreme's lack of intelligence and common sense for even considering shacking up with him in the first place.
So, given that our heroes are mature giant robots that have lived for at least hundreds of years, they decide the best way to handle the situation with Sunstreaker is to pull pranks on the resident sociopath to get revenge (because that will obviously end well). Saying this is majorly out of character for both Ultra Magnus and Omega Supreme is an understatement.
The chapter then ends with this lovely bit of glurg:
- Quote :
- "Berth tonight... Prank tomorrow."
Berth, hmmm? Does that include you or not?
"Definitely includes me. It includes you, me and... dancing moves."
Dancing? Sexy dancing? I'm in!
::before Hadiya can even react in disbelief at what she's read, the screen is blown to bits by a large blue particle blast. Covering her face and crying out in surprise, she gapes at Ultra Magnus who, having taken out his anger on the object of his discontent, holsters his fusion canon and stalks out of the theater, fists clenching and muttering angrily all the while. After a few more moments of shock and a glance at the decimated, smoking screen, Hadiya stands to leave as well.::
Hadiya: To be honest, after that last line, I don't blame him in the slightest. While continuing this snark may be dangerous for my health, seeing as I am a squishy human, I'll be back soon with the next installment.
::Hadiya dashes out of the room, leaving the smoldering projector in her wake.::
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