Welcome to a joint
snark by
Verandering and
Sorsa A. Jänis, for one hell of a confusing fic called...
The Fetus of God G by Mask Rider Roy
Verandering: Please note that what you see first
is not the fic. Oh no. This monster text wall you see to your left (and only your left) is in fact, the author's note. Yep. Still the author's note. It will still be the author's note there. That's
still author's note.
The secret to success must be to ramble on about Shit No One Cares About!
Sorsa: If you ever managed to read through the author's note you realise that actually the fic is part of some bigger brain fart that the author has manged to produce. Author also claims that this big fart of their's is actually a crossover fanfic.
- Quote :
- Huge list of various fandoms and character including Jojo's bizarre adventure and Digimon.
Sorsa: Well at least the author is kind enough to let us all know what fandoms they are going to screw in the process.
Verandering: GET OUT OF MY OBSCURE FANDOM and other such capslocks of rage.
- Quote :
- Welcome to the first ever Jo Jo’s Bizarre Adventure fic.
Verandering: Oh fuck you.
- Quote :
- Ghost at School Gang:
Hajime Aoyama (Ghost Stories aka Ghosts at School)
Berlin; Frankfurt; Munich. These are the some of the most well recognized cities of
Germany. Known for their German delicacies, such as hotdogs and frankfurters, known
for their popular beverages, such as beers and wines. But Germany is also known for
instigating World War II.
Sorsa: Can you spot where the actual fic starts?
- Spoiler:
The answer is: "Berlin; Franfurt; Munich..." Though I actually first thought that the author is just listing all the places they are going to screw in the process.
- Quote :
- But Germany is also known for
instigating World War II.
Sorsa: How is this relevant to the story? Oh, by the way Russia is also known for instigating Winter War.
Verandering: Look! It's a lame excuse for an introduction to the setting! In situations like these, it's often more humane to shoot them, as they will never be able to live a full and normal life.
- Quote :
- ---Flashback---
Sorsa: The author could use formatting for this useless piece of text, but used the standard fanbrat textwall of doom
TM for everything else.
- First paragraph wrote:
- Characters from Jojo's bizarre adventure, Digimon and Read or Die are all slammed together with no proper explanation.
Sorsa: And they are in Germany... Anime characters that have their adventures originally in Japan are in Germany... or are they?
- Quote :
- Five hours later, they are over the
Mediterranean Sea.
Sorsa: No wait a minute! I think they are still in Germany.
- Quote :
- Before approaching Germany, Patamon and Armadimon found Hajime hiding inside the
plane’s cabin.
Sorsa: I have no idea what's going on anymore and I'm supposed to read this whole 'thing'.
Verandering: Not even NAZI SCIENCE! can explain this.
- Quote :
- ---End Flashback---
Sorsa: Thank God it's over.
No wait! There's still more, it was only the flashback. :bang:
- Quote :
- The Joestars’ companion
managed to forge some documents so that they can enter the German leaving
the airport and their plane
Verandering: ... is wat ik zei tegen haar!
- Quote :
- Using the map of Germany, they were
able to pinpoint the fragment’s location. The fragment was hidden inside a huge
abandoned mansion in an unspecified location somewhere in Munich, and the trip to that
place would take seven hours away from where they are standing.
Sorsa: I call that really bad pinpointing.
Verandering: That's a fucking large pin.
- Quote :
- Mr. No-Brakes managed to use his hard-earned money to rent a truck, and soon Team
Joestar were rolling out towards their destination.
Sorsa: Autobots Team Joestar ROLL OUT!
Verandering:" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Another lucky thing is that the road
they are passing is pretty much a highway, and since it is relatively peaceful, there are no
police patrolling, so Mr. No-Brakes stepped on the gas pedal, and they were cruising in
top speed. Everyone were inside the truck.
Sorsa: Abusing commas, are we? Also the truck would not go very fast no matter how hard you stepped on the pedal - There are speed limiters in European trucks that limit their speed to 85-90km/h. And I'm very glad that everyone was inside the truck, though it would be amusing to see Patamon sitting on top.
Verandering: Mr. No-Breaks must have also been the one writing this paragraph, because it just goes on and on when it should have stopped a long time ago, so you feel like you're tumbling down this very long wind tunnel and you're running out of breath and you're panicking and there's no end in sight--
Sorsa: Then the group consisting of various anime characters find ther way to the conveniently abandonded mansion
TM. They leave the truck-driver outside, probably because he isn't a cool character.
- Quote :
- Team Joestar decided to split themselves into
several search groups, since the mansion has five floors.
Sorsa: For a minute I thought they were going to split themselves up with axes and die, so this fic would end. I guess I placed my hopes too high.
- Quote :
- Joestar and co. searched at every nook and cranny in the 1st floor for the fragment. Even
Jotaro and Polnareff used their Stands to help them in locating for the item. They found
nothing
Verandering: 'ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA' 'Found it yet, Jotaro?'
- Quote :
- They felt that much-precious time will be wasted if they have to
rummage these items one by one.
Verandering: I felt that my precious time was already wasted reading paragraph after paragraph of arbitrary Character A Looked Under A Book run on sentences.
- Quote :
- ---Begin Digimon Evolve Sequence---
Armadimon Armor Digi-volve…to Digmon!
---End Digimon Evolve Sequence---
Sorsa: :unskilled78:
Verandering: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- As they were
running the stairs upward, They found Hajime falling downwards
Verandering: As opposed to upwards, which would have been a lot more useful in getting this fic to end already.
- Quote :
- Then all of the sudden, a huge being appeared, smashing his way through the wall.
Sorsa: Why do they always appear suddenly? Was this supposed to a dramatic entrance?
Verandering: He should have knocked, that would have been more surprising.
- Quote :
- As they managed to get
outside, a black hole appeared, and an elderly man, who appears in his 60’s, came out. He
then approached Team Joestar and said, “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr.
Buuraakken. Hee, hee, hee, give me the fragment of the medallion and I’ll let you go, but
if you refuse…”.
Sorsa: More comma abusing. ARGH! Besides this Buuraakken person, which I hope isn't any canonical character, has probably the lamest villain name I've ever heard. He also appears to be not able to communicate with anything else, except cliches.
- Quote :
- Buuraakken was then cut off by Hajime, who gave the man a quick
right hook. “Over my DEAD BODY!” Hajime then strangled the man by the neck tie,
demanding the whereabouts of Momoko.
Verandering: HEY HEY HEY what the fuck are you doing? You don't even know how he was going to finish that sentence! Well now the group knows who to blame when instead of winning $50 million, they're in court being sued for it.
- Quote :
- Buuraakken taunted Hajime.
Sorsa: [Insert a lame World of Warcraft joke here]
- Quote :
- Everyone where surprised by Hajime’s sudden ferocity.
Sorsa:Learn to spell and what's up with all the "sudden"?!
Verandering: Suddenly, Verandering didn't give a shit!
Sorsa: Then there's this huge battle which makes little sense to me excepth that there's lots of Digimons doing shit.
*Sorsa is confused*
*Sorsa hurts themselves in confusion*
*Sorsa prepares yet another attack*
- Quote :
- ---Begin Digimon Evolve Sequence---
Patamon changes…to Angemon!
Armadimon changes…to Ankylomon!
---End Digimon Evolve Sequence---
Sorsa: *But it Fails*
Verandering: *Verandering fainted.*
- Quote :
- The next sequence is like a domino: Takeru and Iori saw Hajime
went into the black hole, and both went after Hajime as well. Angemon and Ankylomon
saw this as well, and went into the hole as well, leaving Team Joestar, the Volts, and the
Transporters to fend for themselves against Victor.
Sorsa: Next sequence is more like chaos and comma abusing to me.
Verandering: You could read the next sequence?
- Quote :
- The
black hole then shut itself close.
Sorsa: What? Grammar, what's that? I've never heard of such thing!
Verandering: Sounds like emo poetry.
- Quote :
- The Ghost at School gang,
and Class Q and A shouted in relief and joy at seeing who just arrived. “YUSUKE!
KUWABARA!”.
Sorsa: :unskilled78: The next victim is ready for sacrifice.
The author finishes with more textwall of doom
TM author's notes and among them they at least kindly warn us:
- Quote :
- Well, you just have to wait for Part 8, which is in Yu Yu Hakusho.
Sorsa:Unfortunately I don't even have to wait for the next part, since it's right there - the next chapter of this chaotic torture.
Verandering: Oh fuck me.