Write an obituary for a fictional character

I admit I stole the idea from the snopes message board.
The Challenge is to write an obituary for a well known fictional character, be they from tv, movies, books, etc. Make it sad, funny, irreverant, snarky, whatever.
Length is to be less than 500 words. This is not to be an actual fanfic, but just an obit or short news article.
Deadline: All entries must be in by July 12, 2009.
Winner gets to pick me a new avatar which I must use for at least one month.
If Mikey ever shows up, he can't win.

So, have fun and kill some beloved fictional characters.

Can we go with someone who's canonically dead? If so, here's one for Remus Lupin. Any info that wasn't on the Harry Potter Wiki, I just made up. Not sure what exact word count is.


Remus John Lupin was killed in action during the Battle of Hogwarts on May 2, 1998. He was proceeded in death by his parents and some very close friends that were as family to him, including James and Lily Potter and Sirius Black. He was joined closely in death by his wife, Nymphadora Lupin. They were a month away from their first wedding anniversary.

Remus Lupin was born March 10, 1960 to John and Daisy Lupin of Godric's Hollow. In 1971, Lupin began studying at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where he excelled in Defence Against the Dark Arts and became a prefect for Gryffindor in his fifth year. Shortly after graduation, Lupin became a member of The Order of the Phoenix where he served in the First Wizarding War against Voldemort.

Unbeknownst to all but his closest friends and relatives, Lupin struggled with the affliction of lycanthropy. This caused great difficulty in his life, but Lupin bravely persevered in spite of it. When his affliction became public knowledge, Lupin resigned from his job as professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at his alma mater, Hogwarts.

Lupin's exceptional skill at duelling, vast knowledge of magic, and his unflagging courage aided him in the Second Wizarding War where he showed great valour at the Battles of the Department of Mysteries, the Astronomy Tower and Little Whinging. He also served the Order well as a spy among other werewolves and as a contributor to the secret radio programme Potterwatch.

It was after a fierce duel to the death with Death Eater Antonin Dolohov that Lupin lost his life at the Battle of Hogwarts. His wife was also at said battle, killed by Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange. It is unknown at this time who was killed first.

Remus Lupin is survived by his month old son, Teddy Lupin. He also leaves behind many friends and former students who will never forget how he indeliably touched their lives.

A memorial service for Lupin and all of the fallen at the Battle of Hogwarts will be held at St. Dorcas Church on May 5, beginning at 9:30 A.M. Lupin's mother-in-law, Andomeda Tonks, requests that donations be made to Bright Moon, a charity dedicated to finding a cure for lycanthropy, in lieu of flowers.

Oh, this looks like fun. I'll work on it. I'll probably end up doing Dan Dreiberg or Adrian Veidt. Cheers, and I'll link you when I'm finished.