The Elements Take Human Form.

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So, I found this short couple of paragraphs and I thought it was the opening of a pretty good fantasy fic, with original "Element" characters who meet The Doctor or Harry Potter or someone later on, the names sounded familiar but I couldn't place them.

After I realised it wasn't a work in progress but the entire thing, I checked the category it was posted in and my response was; "What the bloody fuck?"

Quote :

For many cultures and religions, there are four basic elements that mke up the universe. These are Earth, Fire, Wind and Water. Four elements forever connected, forever meeting in time and space, forever being associated with all the others and feeling safe in the knowledge that noone could break their bond. These elements complement each other, giving each other the positive energy that keeps them alive. And in a city called New York, these elements took human form.

See, not too bad so far. A couple of typos and Air seems to be listed as Wind for some reason but no big problem.

First, we meet Earth who presumably is the hero.

Quote :

In this form, his stability and strength can protect his friends in the highs and lows of life. He gives himself deep brown eyes, soulful and expressive, as if encouraging the three other elements to confide in him. Sometimes he comes off as arrogant, but he is a true friend, and this is known to all three of the other elements.

Then Fire, apparently the heroine, who is described as a "Titan beauty" and her relationship with Earth thus..,

Quote :

A tragedy of the pair was that as Fire and Earth, they could not be together because they were indeed incompatible. Even so, they remained good friends and stayed close enough for Fire to give warmth to Earth and for Earth to give strength to Fire.

Then Water, who seems to be the plucky comic relief.

Quote :

with a joyful jig he welcomed his new form. Flexible and unpredictable, Water was often seen as the child of the group, but was often the most enduring element within it, and was always there for his friends no matter what the situation was.

Finally, Air, who I'd guess is the group's mentor and mother figure.

Quote :

A personal tragedy of Air was that she could not reveal her true self to her friends, and therefore they knew her only as the breeze they felt. Even so, she was compatible with all of the other elements, and although she could be harsh at times, she was often the one who kept the four together.

Then the last paragraph tells us,

Quote :

As we leave them, we can be assured that the four will stick together no matter what.

And that's it. It's not an prologue of a fantasy adventure epic at all, that's the whole thing.
It's well-written, there's nothing snarkable.
So why have I posted it here?

Because these are the four lead characters of Will and Grace.

WHAT

Wow. I have nothing to add to this wonderful piece of fiction. I literally have no words, so I´ll use the words of a reviewer, who spoke thus:

MissNYC83 wrote:

It's a very smart and audacious comparison.

I LOLed for like five minutes what the fuck this is amazing

I never saw enough episodes of Will and Grace to know if the comparisons even make any sense. I'm guessing they probably don't, except in the author's tiny mind.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I never saw enough episodes of Will and Grace to know if the comparisons even make any sense. I'm guessing they probably don't, except in the author's tiny mind.

They kind of do work, actually, in a bizarre sort of way. Which for me just makes the whole thing more funny, but that's probably just me.

Do I have to turn in my titanium spork? Maybe it's because I've never seen Will & Grace but I, um, ah, er, uhhh ... liked it.

I've seen about half of maybe five or six episodes. I don't know the characters very well, but this seems like an awful lot of effort to talk about an extremely neurotic woman, her gay best friend/roommate/whatever, and their campy, self-absorbed friends.

I didn't watch Will and Grace very much myself which is why the character's names didn't immediatly register but I watched enough to get the WTF factor.

Wandering Critic wrote:

Do I have to turn in my titanium spork? Maybe it's because I've never seen Will & Grace but I, um, ah, er, uhhh ... liked it.

Well, it is pretty good as writing goes, it's just the weirdness of turning a fluffy sitcom into something..., what's the word, Metaphysical?

It proves my theory that "Element" or "Elements" when typed as a keyword into FF.Net's searchbox would produce at least one gem. I'm pretty sure that "Twilight" would have had the same result once but now of course, it all be stuff about Mr. Sparkles and co.
Maybe "Midnight" would work, I think I'll try that one next.

Yeah. I'd screw Barium.