Eternal Earth-bound Pets, USA

The link to this page was mailed to me by my son Morgan. I'm torn between it being a troll or a genuine organization, so I figured I'd post it here and let everyone decide for themselves:

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets
The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World

Quote :

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? ]ternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received yourreward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives
have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are
moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and
desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure
their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana ...and growing.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten
(10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be
saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an
additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals.

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

I'd be more inclined to consider this a hoax if I hadn't seen an advertisement on a Christian TV station a while back for an answering machine message you could leave on your phone to let anyone trying to call you that you've be raptured and are now in Heaven.

There's a FAQ page, as well as a Terms and Condition, and Contract and Payment section.

Sad thing is, I can think of a good number of Christians I know who'd be all over this.

This is the most brilliant scam I have ever seen.

This has gotta be a scam too. In fact, the majority of stuff on those tv channels are scams anyway.

Morgan and I were discussing it earlier, and given that I was raised Pentecostal, and he attended church till he was around 12 or so, we can very easily seeing Christians buying into this. Think of all the millions of people who sent money to Oral Roberts because if he didn't get enough money to build his hospital "God was going to call him home." Christians have been awaiting the rapture since shortly after Jesus was crucified, and given the way the world seems to be going at the moment, the idea of someone being willing to take care of your pet(s) after you've been taken away would probably seem a reasonable proposition, even if they ARE supposedly atheists.

Never mind that what you're doing with your money (gambling that the rapture will take place some time in the next ten years) goes against what most fundamentalist churches teach. You give these people money to take care of your pets if you're raptured in the next ten years. Come the end of the ten year period and you're still here, these people will be long gone with whatever money they made off the scam.

ROFLMFAO! Hey are these guys hiring in other countries? XDDDD

Verandering wrote:

ROFLMFAO! Hey are these guys hiring in other countries? XDDDD

I wondered that. And do I get to keep the $110 these deluded people pony up? Because if so, I'm in as a pet rescuer.

Yes, you do get to keep the money, take a look at all those terms and conditions. My favorite is "If you lose your faith, or are not taken by the Rapture, we will not refund your money."

I love this so much.

Lexin wrote:

Verandering wrote:

ROFLMFAO! Hey are these guys hiring in other countries? XDDDD

I wondered that. And do I get to keep the $110 these deluded people pony up? Because if so, I'm in as a pet rescuer.

This.

Hmmm. I'm Catholic- is that close enough to atheist for these purposes? At least enough to get the money?

No one ever went broke etc. etc.

gaijinguy wrote:

Hmmm. I'm Catholic- is that close enough to atheist for these purposes? At least enough to get the money?

No one ever went broke etc. etc.

From what I've seen, most fundamentalist Christians consider Catholics to be the next step up from agnostics. Sure, they believe in God, but they don't believe in OUR God.

I say, go for it.

Honestly this just sort of makes me sick to my stomach. It's preying on people's religious beliefs for a quick buck, no better than Scientology.

...Even if said religious beliefs aren't actually taught in scripture.

Like I said in another thread, this sounds too bizarre not to be the real thing.

Chris91 wrote:

Like I said in another thread, this sounds too bizarre not to be the real thing.

Which explains why you thought Waffles was credible.

I was talking to my brother Chris about this the other night, and he wanted a contact number for the people running it, because as an atheist who loves cats, he'd be more than willing to take in two or three if he got paid for it.

From there it devolved into me mentioning the Pet Baptism Kit that was posted in the 'Godawful Products' thread, and figured we could make more money baptizing animals than taking them in after the Rapture. I mean, I know of some churches that do ceremonies that involve blessing animals, and surely blessing an animal is a very close step to admitting it has a soul, right? So we set up a Pet Baptism Service and baptize your pets, thereby assuring they get taken up with you in the Rapture.

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion. I suppose it would depend on the owners preferences...

Rabid Badger wrote:

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion.

Wouldn't that be coming dangerously close to animal abuse?

Aggie wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion.

Wouldn't that be coming dangerously close to animal abuse?

It can't be that bad, as countless pet owners bathe their pets every day. I would hope that they bathe those smelly sacks of fur anyway. They smell like sweaty nasty man-groin after a while and if I was God I wouldn't let them into heaven. I'd let homeless people and rapists in first before smelly pets.

Aggie wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion.

Wouldn't that be coming dangerously close to animal abuse?

Probably not with dogs. They tend to like water. And it's not like we're going to hold them under till they drown...

Okay, sprinkling it is. Then we won't have to worry about PETA coming after us.

Aggie wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion.

Wouldn't that be coming dangerously close to animal abuse?

More like ritual bloodletting if you tried to do it to a cat. It'll be a baptismal, followed by the anointing of wounds with Band-Aids and Bactine.

We had a St. Francis celebration at our old church a few years back. The clergy tried sprinkling the pets. Labradors take to it, small dogs don't, and our priest almost lost a hand when he reached into the cat carrier to do a laying on of hands sort of blessing. It's just not a cat thing.

lemmingwriter wrote:

Aggie wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Now we're trying to decide on sprinkling or full immersion.

Wouldn't that be coming dangerously close to animal abuse?

More like ritual bloodletting if you tried to do it to a cat. It'll be a baptismal, followed by the anointing of wounds with Band-Aids and Bactine.

We had a St. Francis celebration at our old church a few years back. The clergy tried sprinkling the pets. Labradors take to it, small dogs don't, and our priest almost lost a hand when he reached into the cat carrier to do a laying on of hands sort of blessing. It's just not a cat thing.

Given that a good many cultures (Egypt, for instance) considered cats gods, I suspect cats view themselves as being divine beings who need no laying on of hands, thank you very much.

We'll just skip the baptism part altogether and go with a hands-free blessing.

Ooh, I am totally signing up for this if possible. There's loads of pets in this country who will need rescuing after the Rapture, and I'm just the atheist to do it :D