Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 50 Location : South Dakota
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:29 pm
And O Brother Where Art Thou was awesome!
Harley Quinn hyenaholic Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-12 Age : 39 Location : Taking that picture...
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:06 am
We need younger Film Critics. All the Critics now are like, 40 or something and far too keen on dramas and romantic comedies and particuarly beautiful animation. They only get a select sense of humour and won't even TRY to enjoy an action film.
And they manage to write REALLY arrogantly. Like they're better than any viewer who enjoyed it.
KGarrett Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-07-07 Age : 1013 Location : New York, aka the most boring state there is.
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:31 am
Nobody cares what you think.
Narwhal Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:33 am
My sister saw it with my dad, and even she said it was horrible. To put this in perspective: My sister is 23 and watches The Disney Channel religiously.
Root Admin Administrator
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 35 Location : 997
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:45 pm
Maximilia wrote:
And O Brother Where Art Thou was awesome!
Oh, fuck yes.
Waffles Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-08-15 Age : 204 Location : a vagina.
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:30 am
The only reason the crude men are seeing this film is because they are being LURED by this negative portrayal of the Countess as a brainless sex symbol to be fucked by 10 year old boys. It's a terrible showing of how terribly patriarchal our drawstring society has become.
Somath Cegem Wonderfully English
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 37 Location : Land of Burning Spirit
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:34 am
Waffles wrote:
The only reason the crude men are seeing this film is because they are being LURED by this negative portrayal of the Baroness as a brainless sex symbol to be fucked by 10 year old boys. It's a terrible showing of how terribly patriarchal our drawstring society has become.
Sorry, just hate it when nonsensical womyn ramblings get obvious details wrong.
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 57 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:04 am
Waffles couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted her the C and the A.
Cyberwulf NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 42 Location : TRILOBITE!
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:23 pm
I love that you two are the ones feeding the huge and obvious troll.
Tungsten Monk Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-11 Age : 36 Location : Cedar Rapids, IA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:38 pm
Gaijinguy and I went to the film, and we came away with different impressions. I knew next to nothing about G.I. Joe--only what I'd read in the Cracked lists and seen in Robot Chicken episodes, really--and I wasn't sure how I was going to like it. I mainly wanted to see it because I'm a Christopher Eccleston fantard. The result? I'd give it a B-. Much better than Rise of the Fallen, thanks to slightly less shakycam and actual humans in the lead.
Honestly, the biggest problem was the script. They had a good handle on the action sequences and setpieces, and the director seemed to know what he was doing most of the time, but without decent dialogue there was nothing going on. Some of the actors were trying, some weren't; Eccleston, for example, seemed to be almost fighting to actually make Destro a rounded character, while the lump who played Duke Hauser spent a lot of time being unimpressive, unintuitive, and not even that hot. Useless.
Snake-Eyes quickly became my favorite character, and if you like him, you should definitely see it; as a silent badass, he's got no lines for the scriptwriters to mutilate, and the Snake-Eyes versus Storm Shadow fights are pretty damn epic.
But what struck me the most was the deliberate changes in canon character relationships--specifically, Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Ripcord, Duke, Destro, and the Baroness. I didn't even know these characters much, but the interaction didn't read for me, so I looked them up afterwards and was surprised by what happened in the source material. Spoilerfied below.
Spoiler:
Number one: Scarlett, and . . . Ripcord? The canon relationship between Snake-Eyes and Scarlett is a great part of the original Joe comics, and has some real opportunities for humor--as a lot of the fanfic writers have already pointed out. Instead, they chucked that to make Scarlett fall for Ripcord, who in the film is an utterly charmless lunkhead stereotype. WTF?
Number two: I groaned out loud when this happened. Remember FFVII fanfiction? Remember how Sephiroth is totally really a good guy, because it was all Jenova's fault? Yyyeah. Apparently, the Baroness was being mind-controlled by Destro and Cobra Commander all along, and all she really wants is to be back with Duke--because Duke is her ex-fiance, who went off to war and broke her heart after yadda yadda yadda CHRIST can we have more Destro now please?
I have no idea why they chose to make these changes, but I'll bet you that they pissed off a lot more people than just me. Hell, even if you completely disregard the comics and cartoons, the interaction between Scarlett and Ripcord was totally unbelievable and dull as fuck.
On the other hand, the movie turned me into an SE/S fan, so I guess it did some good.
For all my complaints, though, I really had a good time. I'd recommend it, provided you're not too anal about characterization and are willing to suspend disbelief for a while. Also, Christopher Eccleston with a Scottish accent--weird as hell, in an awesome way. :D
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 57 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:02 am
Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:
We need younger Film Critics. All the Critics now are like, 40 or something and far too keen on dramas and romantic comedies and particuarly beautiful animation. They only get a select sense of humour and won't even TRY to enjoy an action film.
And they manage to write REALLY arrogantly. Like they're better than any viewer who enjoyed it.
You must've read the Boston Globe arts & entertainment section recently.
Ceres Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:08 pm
I saw the movie. I have vague memories of the cartoon, but don't know anything about it. Can't say I care.
The only characters with inklings of personality were the Mute Guy (who was awesome), Destro (because the 9th Doctor can do no wrong) and Ripcord (at least he tried to make an effort, which is more than I can say for the rest of the sorry cast.)
Duke was beyond lame and I was rooting for the bad guys all the way. I liked Baroness better when she was evil and wore glasses. Man, I really loved those glasses.
Also, the first half of the film was very humorless. All the quips, albeit lame, happened in the latter half of the movie.
I liked Transformers 2 better. It was just as juvenile, but at least it was funny juvenile.
Waffles Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-08-15 Age : 204 Location : a vagina.
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:42 am
Quote :
I liked Transformers 2 better. It was just as juvenile, but at least it was funny juvenile.
Transformers 2 was TERRIBLE. Those sick, perverted men forced Mikaela to shove her ass in front of the camera for the dirty men to look at, and that sadly was the only selling point for the film. It was not the giant robots fighting; it was overt sexualization of Mikaela. Men only watch things they can rub their contaminated dicks to.
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 57 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:11 am
Ceres wrote:
I saw the movie. I have vague memories of the cartoon, but don't know anything about it. Can't say I care.
One of my local UHF stations used to broadcast the original "Joe" and "Transformer" cartoons daily every other half-hour. Of course, that was before most of America's UHF TV outlets turned into infomercial dumps....
Somath Cegem Wonderfully English
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 37 Location : Land of Burning Spirit
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:54 am
Waffles wrote:
Quote :
I liked Transformers 2 better. It was just as juvenile, but at least it was funny juvenile.
Transformers 2 was TERRIBLE. Those sick, perverted men forced Mikaela to shove her ass in front of the camera for the dirty men to look at, and that sadly was the only selling point for the film. It was not the giant robots fighting; it was overt sexualization of Mikaela. Men only watch things they can rub their contaminated dicks to.
You have obviously never met a real transfan.
Dick Powers Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-07-16 Location : Chillin with my homie Issun on Oni Island
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:23 am
Michael Bay has a weird fixation with Megan Fox... yeah. That's all I'm going to say.
Lapin Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 35 Location : Maryland
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:40 pm
I really want to trash him for that, but I have the bad habit of my brain going "Bwuh? Please? I want" everytime she appears.
Lysander Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:23 pm
Which is better: the live action movie, or the first three minutes of the cartoon movie?
Dick Powers Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-07-16 Location : Chillin with my homie Issun on Oni Island
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:23 pm
Okay, I sold by the first 30 seconds of that clip.
Lapin wrote:
I really want to trash him for that, but I have the bad habit of my brain going "Bwuh? Please? I want" everytime she appears.
I like Megan Fox too. She seems like a really funny girl to be around, plus she likes comic books.
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 57 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:43 pm
Quadratus wrote:
Michael Bay has a weird fixation with Megan Fox...
So do half the adult males in the Western world.
Lysander Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 22, 2009 1:20 pm
I would just like to remind everyone that Destro is a pimp.
Ceres Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 22, 2009 2:48 pm
I'll see your GI Joe and raise you:
Venture Bros FTW!
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 57 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:33 pm
WTF?
The Ansem Man
Join date : 2009-07-13
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:38 pm
The cartoon just weirds me out.
The movie had... good action, but the plot was both predictable and trite. Double *ugh* going to Duke/Baroness.
Lysander Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Join date : 2009-06-10
Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics. Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:57 pm
Around the Cobra barracks, they call him "Cockblock Commander."
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Subject: Re: OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics.
OH NO JOE! Paramount won't screen GI Joe for critics.