Reviews & replies: The good, the bad, and the WTF

I love "write mah storee fur meeee!" types. Write your own story, doofus!

EileenK98 wrote:

I love "write mah storee fur meeee!" types. Write your own story, doofus!

In cases like that, I always wonder "Well if you only wrote the story for yourself, why are you posting it on a public site? " God knows, I wrote dozens of stories for myself when I was young, and in general, no one but me ever saw them.

On the other hand, internet access wasn't available to everyone like it is now. Which is probably just as well.

I got this PM from someone who read one of my stories:

Quote :

i pmd you cause i didn't want too embarass you. you don't know anthing about calfornia. it doesnt rain there at all and noboddy east junk food.

Apparently wherever this fanbrat is from, nobody studies spelling. And I'm pretty sure it's not California, since after 35 years here, I know that it rains (mostly in winter in the southern portion), and the junk food industry is in no danger here.

From an argument over accuracy in an Earth's Children fanfic:

Quote :

And quite right too. In fanfic, credibility and plausibility are all we need; authenticity is an optional extra. As long as artistic license doesn't lead to inconsistencies within a writer's story, then I don't see any problem worth highlighting.

And thus are badfics born.

I don't know, any fic that can claim "credibility and plausibility" isn't badfic to me, even if it deviates a lot from the source material. I mean, a lot of authors never even make that far.

grmblfjx wrote:

I don't know, any fic that can claim "credibility and plausibility" isn't badfic to me, even if it deviates a lot from the source material. I mean, a lot of authors never even make that far.

The fic in question is actually pretty good, but the argument came up over a bit of "artistic license" that the author used--namely, a group of Neanderthals from what is now Germany walking half a day (maybe 20 miles) to an inland sea. The plausibility takes a nosedive right there (sort of like in a Titanic fic where the characters go skiing in San Diego).

Actually, we know for certain that people would travel much longer distances to visit certain resources. An inland sea would certainly qualify, since the salt alone would make the trip worthwhile. Remember, we've found all sorts of shells and items [i]definitely[i] manufactured on the east coast of North America that were taken to the west coast and Central America, over a thousand years ago. People did travel.

Or do you mean this was written as a sort of 'day trip' thing instead of a major undertaking?

...and the Neanderthals that we know of were found in Germany. I'm going with "this complaint would make sense if I knew the fandom".

rae wrote:

Actually, we know for certain that people would travel much longer distances to visit certain resources. An inland sea would certainly qualify, since the salt alone would make the trip worthwhile. Remember, we've found all sorts of shells and items [i]definitely[i] manufactured on the east coast of North America that were taken to the west coast and Central America, over a thousand years ago. People did travel.

Or do you mean this was written as a sort of 'day trip' thing instead of a major undertaking?

This was described as a day trip.

grmblfjx wrote:

...and the Neanderthals that we know of were found in Germany. I'm going with "this complaint would make sense if I knew the fandom".

Neanderthal remains have indeed been found in Germany--and all over the rest of Europe (excluding those places covered by glaciers during the last ice age) and the Middle East. That part is accurate. What isn't accurate is there being an inland sea in the region of Germany during the last ice age.

Ice Age Europe:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Difference in sea levels between Ice Age and today:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The story is set just north of the glacier that covered the Alps at that time. The nearest body of salt water was the Mediterrean--which was still more than a day trip on foot from where the characters lived (and separated from them by a massive glacier, to boot). The nearest inland sea may or may not have been the Black Sea (there's a hypothesis that the story of the great flood came from glacial melt and and/or rising sea levels inundating the then possibly dry Black Sea basin, killing pretty much everyone and everything in its path), and it still would have been a very long distance away.

I just got this response after declining to post several badfics on my website:

Quote :

I got your email and im not too happy about it and you make it sound like my stories are horrible or something

and I write pretty damn good ones!



it's because they're not about jack and rose right that's the real reason your not putting them up well then forget it

if your gonna insult my work saying there's "errors" "typos" and "problems with the punctuation" whatever the hell

that is then you dont have to post them.



so shut-up and dont bother emailing me anymore and dont even bother putting my stories up if they're so bad and

horrible and so not written correctly then you can just delete them.



I wrote them the way I wanted to write them douche and I dont care if they're not "accurate'"!

Translation: Bawww! I can't be bothered to do actual research! How dare you not praise my speshul stories! *stomp* *flounce* *butthurt*

(Oh, and the reason I wouldn't post her stories? It had nothing to do with the characters being OCs--and everything to do with the fact that she not only did zero research, but also couldn't even spell the characters' names the same way from line to line.)

From a Harry Potter fic:

Quote :

I really enjoyed that, and now I wonder what Rowling incisioned them doing with the bodies...

She probably just wanted to cut them dead.

I just skipped to the last page after it became a circle-jerk on visual thinking.

[Writes MSTing of Girl Who Lived]

ME: oooh, a PM

PM: Cool stuff. Can you look at my cousin's fanfiction? She's just starting out too.

ME: [Looks, see's that it's a bunch of Dramione stories, which have never been done well ever]

ME: Sorry, but Dramione isn't my cup of tea.

PM: YOU FUCKING FUCK. MY COUSIN HAS ASBERGERS AND YOUR CRUEL COMMENTS ARE KILLING HER INSIDE. HOW DARE YOU YOU FUCK.

Par for the course at FFnet, really. Only one guy (PotionsForSev) appears to be any good of a fan. The others all wanted me to look at their shitty stories.

Here are a couple of reviews for two of my Oz stories. The first one is for The Prosecutor.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 4 . Jul 7
I AM warning you! If you do not remove this story and the other one of yours within this category, I really will intend to re-publish my first book while telling in the introduction how much I hate you for being deceitful to me, and how retarded you are to not think the bad things Oz devotees say about him all the time are either mean or terribly exaggerated and totally false! I mean it! I wish I never associated with you. You are evil to want to benefit from my foolishness, you really are! You have NO right to expect or even want me to be respectful to you ever again, you wretched S. O. A. B.!

And here's another one for The Hidden Man

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 4 . Jul 10
Well... I at least I can't say I HADN'T given you a warning beforehand, you retarded old git! If am to be in any way responsible for any products I put out, then I can honestly say I can put one out in a way that will hurt you and I will NEVER regret doing so! You are about to become majorly unfavorable in the fan club that I am the founder and sole owner of!

Happyhooligan2001 wrote:

Here are a couple of reviews for two of my Oz stories. The first one is for The Prosecutor.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 4 . Jul 7
I AM warning you! If you do not remove this story and the other one of yours within this category, I really will intend to re-publish my first book while telling in the introduction how much I hate you for being deceitful to me, and how retarded you are to not think the bad things Oz devotees say about him all the time are either mean or terribly exaggerated and totally false! I mean it! I wish I never associated with you. You are evil to want to benefit from my foolishness, you really are! You have NO right to expect or even want me to be respectful to you ever again, you wretched S. O. A. B.!

And here's another one for The Hidden Man

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 4 . Jul 10
Well... I at least I can't say I HADN'T given you a warning beforehand, you retarded old git! If am to be in any way responsible for any products I put out, then I can honestly say I can put one out in a way that will hurt you and I will NEVER regret doing so! You are about to become majorly unfavorable in the fan club that I am the founder and sole owner of!

Ah, Bugfucker. She never fails to amuse.

I recently got another great review from our old friend Wogglebuglover. It's for my story "The Hidden Man." I think she's trying to shame me by putting out personal information on me that I would find embarrassing. At least I think that's what she's trying to do. When we got along I did have some long conversations over the internet with her and apparently she was taking notes. Here it is in it's entirety.

WogglebugLoveProductions wrote:

chapter 5 . Jul 24
Now I know you pretend to like the Wogglebug, but in all truthfullness you hate him just as much as any Oz fan can hate him. Yet you are too damn stupid to even admit to something that is so bare naked obvious to me. Because you think being a Catholic gives you the authority to cheat a lot of people into thinking you are a good man. When in reality nothing could be further from the truth.

After all, if you were a good man in any way you would not be in close connections to a con artist who passes himself off as someone respectable to a bunch of ignorant fools of the exact same status as you. But he has really the same social status and any status of a dead rat in a dark dank smellly cave.

Further evidence supporting you hate the Wogglebug is you are downright cruel and heartless toward him. You inflict physical abuse on him in the first chapter! And then a few chapters later you are worse with mental abuse. You make fun of him in a malicious fasion for being an insect who is SO much more of decent human-being that you ever could be if your life depended on it!

I want to understand two things. First, the Wogglebug has always possessed more human characteristics than you have. And second, you have always posssesed more abilities to be a stupid and incapable of learning better pestilent idiot than him due to you having Aspergers Syndrome. That is precisely why no one has ever loved you at all and no one ever will. That is why you know you never could be anything but single and stupid with a voice that sounds like you've been chewing tobacco since you were an infant and you are a loser reisgned to work in a prison surrounded by lesser human beings than the Wogglebug is.

And remember, it is my belief that you people who have Aspergers are always far more pestilent to the lives of excellent people like anyone who has anything in common with teh Woggelbug, and also that bastards like you are completely useless to the whole world and far worse threat to the progression of positive growth and development than ordinary insects are. This is a statement of the truth. Remember I have always had a very immense desire to strangle you and other Oz fans like you. And I look forward to bringing my fan club down to your gravesite and pissing on it whenever that day may come!

Sincerely, the founder and leader of WogglebugLove Productions.

Wow! What an awesome review! I guess I could try to have it removed but I wouldn't remove it for the world. I just love it. Lets go over it.

Quote :

Now I know you pretend to like the Wogglebug, but in all truthfullness you hate him just as much as any Oz fan can hate him. Yet you are too damn stupid to even admit to something that is so bare naked obvious to me.

Yes, I suppose I could write a story where he and his buddy break into some young woman's house at night to beat her to death, but I just hate him too much to think he would do anything like that.

Quote :

Because you think being a Catholic gives you the authority to cheat a lot of people into thinking you are a good man. When in reality nothing could be further from the truth.

Being Catholic doesn't fool anybody into thinking you're good. Just in case you haven't seen the news in the past few years but there's some pretty awful Catholics out there. There's even a few popes that we're kind of embarrassed about. I just try to do the best I can.

Quote :

After all, if you were a good man in any way you would not be in close connections to a con artist who passes himself off as someone respectable to a bunch of ignorant fools of the exact same status as you. But he has really the same social status and any status of a dead rat in a dark dank smellly cave.

Chris publishes Oz books as a hobby, he doesn't get any money out of it. If you'd ever seen his house you'd know this. Trust me. Nobody will ever get rich off of your book.

Quote :

Further evidence supporting you hate the Wogglebug is you are downright cruel and heartless toward him. You inflict physical abuse on him in the first chapter!

For those of you who don't actually want to read my story and I'll assume that's all of you I will put in a short excerpt from "The Hidden Man" so you can see what kind of hellish agony I inflicted on this poor insect.

Quote :

Jellia led him through a maze of passageways to a solid looking oak door. She selected a key from the seemingly hundreds of keys on her keyring and opened the door to what appeared to be a stone masonry cylinder with a spiral staircase leading up into the distance. The Wogglebug gave an exasperated sigh as he followed her up. The stairway seemed endless. Wogglebug bodies weren't exactly designed to walk on their hind legs much less go up endless stairs. Eventually he was gasping, his legs on fire. He was tempted to get down and crawl, bug style, but he still had his dignity. "You hardly ever get visitors?" he wheezed. "I wonder why?"

"It's not much further." Jellia seemed unfazed by the stairs.

His vision was beginning to blur. "The palace is full of nice suites. Wouldn't Ozma let you have one?"

"I'm sure she would if I asked." Jellia opened a trap door in the ceiling. "We're here!"

The Wogglebug emerged into a cozy circular kitchen with a round table set in the center. The staircase continued on up and he followed Jellia up it into a little circular parlor with cozy chairs windows and a door leading out to a balcony that circled the tower. The stairs continued up into what he assumed was her bedroom and possibly other rooms as well. A look out the window at the magnificent view spread out before him told him why Jellia didn't want to move into larger rooms down in the palace. With a sigh of relief he sank into an overstuffed chair.

Jellia approached him with a pitcher and a glass. "Would you like some lemonade?"

I know you are all trembling with rage at the fiendish torture I inflicted on poor Professor Wogglebug, He actually got tired walking up a long flight of stairs. Does my sadistic evil have no limits? The fact that Wogglebuglover thinks of exercise as cruel, physical abuse says a lot about her. Exercise is actually good for you and makes you healthier and stronger. Since Professor Wogglebug founded the Royal College of Athletic Arts I would think he would already know that.

Quote :

And then a few chapters later you are worse with mental abuse. You make fun of him in a malicious fasion for being an insect who is SO much more of decent human-being that you ever could be if your life depended on it!

Here's the relevant quote from the story. The first three paragraphs are part of a flashback.

Quote :

Jellia strode back to the Wizard looking around the room "When was the last time you cleaned up around here?"

The Wizard looked somewhat ashamed. "Umm, I've been rather busy lately, I have some projects I've been working on."

Jellia rolled up an old copy of the Ozmapolitan. "This kitchen is filthy! It's infested with wogglebugs! She started swatting the kitchen counter.
----------------------------------------------
"Uhh!" the Wogglebug became rather pale.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Professor!" Jellia's cheeks reddened with shame.

The Wogglebug swallowed. "No, it's quite alright. No one understands the occupational hazards of being a household pest better than I do. Please go on."

He's tough, he'll get over it. There's a reason why he hid himself in Professor Nowitall's classroom instead of boldly strutting around in the open.

Quote :

I want to understand two things. First, the Wogglebug has always possessed more human characteristics than you have. And second, you have always posssesed more abilities to be a stupid and incapable of learning better pestilent idiot than him due to you having Aspergers Syndrome. That is precisely why no one has ever loved you at all and no one ever will. That is why you know you never could be anything but single and stupid

Hear that ladies? I'm available!

Quote :

with a voice that sounds like you've been chewing tobacco since you were an infant

Gee, I mentioned my speech impediment to you once and this is the second time you've mentioned it on this site. You've never even heard my voice. I have heard your voice on your movies and trust me, you're no Cicero. By the way, I've never used tobacco. Nasty stuff.

Quote :

and you are a loser reisgned to work in a prison surrounded by lesser human beings than the Wogglebug is.

Yes, that's called having a job. It's where instead of being supported by the government and your family you support yourself by providing goods and services to other people. You should try it sometime. And being a correctional officer is pretty challenging work. I wouldn't recommend it for you though due to your temperament.

Quote :

And remember, it is my belief that you people who have Aspergers are always far more pestilent to the lives of excellent people like anyone who has anything in common with teh Woggelbug, and also that bastards like you are completely useless to the whole world and far worse threat to the progression of positive growth and development than ordinary insects are. This is a statement of the truth.

Hey! What's with all the Aspie bigotry? Perhaps you should think twice before jumping all over other people's mental disabilities. Just saying…

Quote :

Remember I have always had a very immense desire to strangle you and other Oz fans like you. And I look forward to bringing my fan club down to your gravesite and pissing on it whenever that day may come!

Wow! A road trip! That's awesome! I'm looking forward to your visit. I recommend that you stay at the Econo Lodge on the west side of town. It's pretty cheap, has a nice swimming pool, and it's less than a mile from the cemetery. And I'm sure your fan club is pretty minuscule so how about inviting the WGWer's? You can make it a party!

I see her lunacy is as strong as ever. She really needs a good head-from-ass extraction.

Happyhooligan2001 wrote:

You are about to become majorly unfavorable in the fan club that I am the founder and sole owner of!

Well that there is a good threat.

Found this gem today on an old Fallout 3 fan fic.

Quote :

Fucking Fanficti chapter 1 . 9h ago

         FUCK YOU!

  

Bugfucker wrote:

You are about to become majorly unfavorable in the fan club that I am the founder and sole owner of!

And sole member of.

Honestly, this person would be funny if she weren't so creepy.

This all strikes me as being very similar to the "No Homers" club.

*Reads HH's post*

Man. That creep really does not get the idea that The Wogglebug is a fictional creation.

She also doesn't get how she's being far more insulting and bigoted towards real people than you are to the poor dear Wogglebug. Do invite me when she calls so that I can point out how being aspergic isn't a curse; in fact the world would be a better place if everybody was aspergic.

Lately I've been getting somebody bugging me to do a story with them. Which would be worth considering if, y'know, they weren't saying "What's wrong with rping a fic over PM?"

I just couldn't answer that one because the answer is basically "You might as well RP via answering machine."

Also, I get a lot of people in my reviews who depressingly guess what happens next, but they're not my problem because I don't let them know. More annoying are the people who say "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?! PLEASE TELL ME!!!!"

What? You think you're going to like, get a personal PM from me detailing who's getting offed next?

Our favorite living parody of a fan brat just gave me four reviews at the same time! I guess she could have put them all into one big review but apparently Woggles thinks that more is better. They are all for the same story as above, "The Hidden Man."

WogglebugLoveProductions wrote:

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 6 . 15h ago
I hope I am making you suffer already. I hope the things I am going to do next to you will increase your suffering. You could avoid at least avoid half of it by removing these stories. No matter what you're argument is, I say a man of your stupidity and weakness has no feelings being at all nice towards, and I assure you my believing this has means not that I am a bad person, but means all I saying to you is the truth. You should let me get away with hurting you again and again.

You think this wrong? Then why are you insisting on taking the same attitude to the Wogglebug when I and my whole fan club love him just the way he is? All you're doing is following along with the motives of power-corrupt delusional tyrants in the Oz series who are wanting you to follow them without question just like the evil dicators of the early twentieth century. I thought you were against such things. You seem to seriously lack an actual education, and you have a warped sense of reality and deserve alienating for it.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 3 . 15h ago
If you go to my website and view my music videos of the Wogglebug's voice actor doing my favorite songs, then I defy you Don Reynolds to be able to tell me with a straight face that the Wogglebug does not have musical talent far superior over yours as everyone knows you sound like Elmer Fudd with a hangover.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 2 . 15h ago
If you think defaming you is wrong, than you could prove that by removing your stories that defame my most favorite character. I don't see you as being anywhere near deserving of being respected as any sort of smart person as much as he does.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 1 . 15h ago
If you think defaming anything about you is wrong, then you could prove that by removing your stories that defame my most favorite character. I don't see you as being anywhere near deserving of being respected as any sort of smart person as much as he does. If you think this review is the ONLY way for me to do it, you are seriously mistaken. You have NO idea of what I have in mind to also do about you. I promise you it won't feel good to you. If you think I'm threatening you and that is wrong, then WHY do you think it's not wrong to do those things to the Wogglebug? I seriously think he is a harmless insect but at the same time a far better person for a role model than you, or any of those glory-hogging tyrants known as the Wogglebug's companions who unjustly antagonized him due to their prejudice and stupid jealousy of him. If you insist it is not wrong to hurt the Wogglebug, than I insist it is perfectly acceptable to hurt you.

I am now threatening to go to your home in Oklahoma to hurt you in some way if you do not remove this and your other story with him.

If by suffering, you mean laughing my ass off, then yes, I really am suffering. And I never claimed to have any musical talent. I can't read music, my singing consists of bellowing out hymns off key in church on Sundays, and the only musical instrument I can play is the radio and I can't play it very well. Besides which, what the fuck are you talking about!?

And if you're planning to come visit, here's some more personal information about me. I'm an experienced correctional officer, a Navy veteran who was awarded the Navy Marksmanship Medals with the Expert Devices in both pistol and rifle, and I'm also a member of The National Rifle Association. Leaving threats on a public forum probably isn't a good idea. They would make charming exhibits at any trial I might have to attend after your visit.

As for the rest of you out there, if you want to join in the fun just write your own Wogglebug stories and post them on FF.net. They don't have to be really disrespectful, mine aren't. We can see if a person's head really can explode.

WogglebugLoveProductions wrote:

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 6 . 15h ago
I hope I am making you suffer already. I hope the things I am going to do next to you will increase your suffering. You could avoid at least avoid half of it by removing these stories. No matter what you're argument is, I say a man of your stupidity and weakness has no feelings being at all nice towards, and I assure you my believing this has means not that I am a bad person, but means all I saying to you is the truth. You should let me get away with hurting you again and again.

You think this wrong? Then why are you insisting on taking the same attitude to the Wogglebug when I and my whole fan club love him just the way he is? All you're doing is following along with the motives of power-corrupt delusional tyrants in the Oz series who are wanting you to follow them without question just like the evil dicators of the early twentieth century. I thought you were against such things. You seem to seriously lack an actual education, and you have a warped sense of reality and deserve alienating for it.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 3 . 15h ago
If you go to my website and view my music videos of the Wogglebug's voice actor doing my favorite songs, then I defy you Don Reynolds to be able to tell me with a straight face that the Wogglebug does not have musical talent far superior over yours as everyone knows you sound like Elmer Fudd with a hangover.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 2 . 15h ago
If you think defaming you is wrong, than you could prove that by removing your stories that defame my most favorite character. I don't see you as being anywhere near deserving of being respected as any sort of smart person as much as he does.

WogglebugLoveProductions chapter 1 . 15h ago
If you think defaming anything about you is wrong, then you could prove that by removing your stories that defame my most favorite character. I don't see you as being anywhere near deserving of being respected as any sort of smart person as much as he does. If you think this review is the ONLY way for me to do it, you are seriously mistaken. You have NO idea of what I have in mind to also do about you. I promise you it won't feel good to you. If you think I'm threatening you and that is wrong, then WHY do you think it's not wrong to do those things to the Wogglebug? I seriously think he is a harmless insect but at the same time a far better person for a role model than you, or any of those glory-hogging tyrants known as the Wogglebug's companions who unjustly antagonized him due to their prejudice and stupid jealousy of him. If you insist it is not wrong to hurt the Wogglebug, than I insist it is perfectly acceptable to hurt you.

I am now threatening to go to your home in Oklahoma to hurt you in some way if you do not remove this and your other story with him.

Most people who say things like this are trolls. Bugfucker, on the other hand, is that far rarer creature best classified as a psycho.

who the fuck cares other than the two of you

Wogglebutthead wrote:

You are about to become majorly unfavorable in the fan club that I am the founder and sole owner of!

Which fan club would that be? The International "I Have No Life" Society?