What was the worst thing you read that wasn't worth sporking?

There's a lot of bad books out there, but most of them just aren't bad ENOUGH for a full-on sporking. So here is a place to go over The Bad (but not bad enough).

For me, it was rereading Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs. Why did it suck? Well, mainly because Thomas Harris cannot write dialogue to save his life. Everyone sounds like they're in Tommy Wiseau's The Room. It didn't help that Harris seemed to want to show that he Knows About Sexism by having virtually every random male character be super IN YO FACE with the T&A talk.

Thomas Harris, have you ever once spoken to a real human being and had a conversation? When the flowery shit in Hannibal Rising is an upgrade, something is W R O N G, my dude.

"Isle of Dogs" by Patricia Cornwell - it's basically Cornwell cosplaying Carl Hiaasen with costume found in a dumpster behind a trailer park.