Fuck you I'm reviewing guns

Finally got out to shoot. It has been forever since I got to shoot for fun, so that's what I went out to the range to do today. Put about 94 rounds through the G36 and 18 through the DEagle.

Glock 36
Ammo: Fiocchi "Shooting Dynamics" 230 grain .45ACP FMJ
Recoil: Sharp
Muzzle climb: Assertive
Accuracy: Minute of mugger
Fun factor: Rapidly diminishes after the first mag

Eh, is Glock, is shoot. Dat trigger, doe. It's heavier than I remember my G20's being, which is apparently a thing with the G36. The trigger safety, which never was an issue before, wound up giving my trigger finger a blister. With my giant hands, it's also tougher to get a firm grip on it in proportion to the recoil. I found I was fighting my own flinch quite a bit as a result; at one point I was trying to concentrate on the front sight and realized it was vibrating. Recoil is delivered in a strong smack to the palm of your hand, amplified by the slimmer grip (the G36 is single-stack).

Mechanically it's accurate enough but it's short enough that the slightest deviation will send the bullet into la-la land. After I shifted my trigger finger to a less worn-out part of the pad, I wound up yanking the trigger and blasted a long-destroyed target frame to pieces. As it was about three feet lower than the close-range plate I was shooting at, I stared in disbelief for a minute, then figured that was enough Glock for today.

Desert Eagle
Ammo: Parabellum Research 300 grain .50AE JHP
Recoil: Firm push
Muzzle climb: Solid booster
Accuracy: Kerbal Space Program
Fun factor:  IT'S LIKE HOUSE OF THE DEAD ONLY LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES MORE AWESOME

By the time I started shooting the Desert Eagle, everyone else had moved over from the pistol range to the adjacent rifle range. Someone was doing rapid-fire drills with an AR, the pap-pap-pop of which quickly became drowned out because I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF NEO GETTING MURDERED IN 303. I didn't shoot at the steel targets this time because I wasn't sure what they were rated for, and opted instead for a long- discarded target at the back of the range. I had brought Shoot-n-See targets of my own, but I didn't want to bother anyone to make the range cold. I AM AN INTROVERT.

Besides, I didn't get this Desert Eagle to compete, hunt, or defend myself. I bought it because REASONS.

Those reasons, as it turned out, include a GIANT MUZZLE FLASH in BROAD DAYLIGHT. They include HITTING MYSELF in the HEAD with LARGE BRASS. They include UNNECESSARY ACCURACY. They include CAPITAL LETTERS.

On at least two shots, I hit the piece of target and saw a big dust puff behind it at the bottom of the berm, and then saw another puff of dust on top of the berm. I don't know where those bullets went but I think I finally shut up the Space Core. The funny thing is that it doesn't kick very hard really, it but it REALLY wants to flip. Bad news: The slightest limp-wristing and it might not go back fully into battery, but I think it might just need some oil. We'll see.

EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOSIOOOOOOOOOOOOONS

And now yr going to have to explain "Minute of mugger" again. Like, NAOW.

"Minute of Angle" is a term for a certain amount of deviation. Like, if you shoot at a target at 100 meters and the shot is 1 inch away from the point of aim, its accuracy is one Minute of Angle, or 1MOA.

"Minute of _____" is now commonly misused to show you about how accurate something is as a tongue-in-cheek thing. "Minute of pie plate," "minute of bad guy," "minute of Buick," etc

This thread is Marcus Kincaid approved.

And if I have to tell you who that is, you are required to play Borderlands 2...NOW!

ITT: Penguin becomes Mr. Torgue

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

ITT: Penguin becomes Mr. Torgue

He's actually been talking about painting one of them (the DEagle??) like a Torgue weapon. I approve of this decision. TORGUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

^
YES

Then he has to MODIFY it to fire EXPLOSIVE rounds to JUSTIFY the EXCESSIVE CAPITAL LETTERS!

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

^
YES

Then he has to MODIFY it to fire EXPLOSIVE rounds to JUSTIFY the EXCESSIVE CAPITAL LETTERS!

SADLY, the United States is governed by a REPRESSIVE REGIME (since 1934) that considers exploding bullets DESTRUCTIVE DEVICES and DEMANDS a TAX STAMP PER BULLET! Each tax stamp is TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS, effectively raising the price of a FULLY-LOADED Desert Eagle by FOURTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. I DO NOT HAVE THAT MUCH CASH LYING AROUND!

Solution: FUCK LOADS OF TANNERITE

My brother would be jizzing himself reading this thread; he's a national guard fuckwit who all but sodomizes himself with guns.

TESTOSTERONE!

Or something; I'm beginning to think it's part of the military brainwashing they had to do to get him used to the idea of killing for money.

Uh-huh. What's his MOS?

He's an MP.

So you think "weekend gate guard" = "kill people for money" now?

They're sending him back to Ferguson. And I know for a fact that were it not for his commanding officers he'd be mowing people down. He enjoys the power trip.

Hahaha and this is why Active Duty finds the Guard endlessly entertaining