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Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction

Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

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PostSubject: Rouge Rangers   Rouge Rangers EmptyThu Dec 13, 2012 3:52 pm

It should be fairly obvious that I was a fan of Power Rangers waaaaay back when it aired. The feeling waned over time, and I eventually fell in love with Power Rangers' source material, Super Sentai.

Those of you not up to speed, in 2011 Saban returned with Power Rangers Samurai.

This has made a lot of old fans very angry and was widely regarded as a very bad move.

Seeing my first and favorite Sentai, Shinkenger adapted into a rather disappointing betrayal that is Power Rangers Samurai, so too is the fanfiction just as terrible.

I present Exhibit A, The Rouge Rangers.

How you ask?

Quote :
In the last generation of Samurai rangers, the Crimson and Navy samurai rangers went rouge. Now a new set of Crimson and Navy rangers has resurfaced and Jayden's little sisters are starting to fall for them. Jayden must do everything in his power to stop their blooming romances
Yes, apparently, Jayden's newest duty as Red Ranger is cockblocking now. We are just in for some real shit.

So, the author opens with a note that spoils the OMGWHATAPLOTTWEEST of the series. But if you had already seen Shinkenger, it doesn't come as much of a shock.

Quote :
Attention my dear friends! (I consider all of my followers and readers my friends I love you guys!) If you watched the New Power Rangers Super Samurai today then Jayden's secret has now been revealed!
Right, because Jayden's sister was such a big secret he had to keep it from the others. What was Takeru's secret, again? Oh, right, he wasn't the true head of the Shiba clan, let alone the true ShinkenRed. Yeah, Jayden really struggled keeping his older sister a secret. Must have been unbearable.

Quote :
The rangers were fighting nighlock in the time square and were surrounded by moogers. The nighlock had slipped away to cause more mischief.

"What are we going to do?" Emily asked.
I dunno, how about you fight them?

Quote :
"There're moogers everywhere" Mia said.
You've trained to fight these guys, they're not that hard.

Quote :
"We're surrounded" Mike said.
You've faced worse than this! This is cannon fodder for fuck's sake!

Quote :
"I've got a plan" Jayden said before he pulled out his phone. "Charlie, Jackie you're needed"

"You got it!" One voice said.

"Time to rock and roll!" Another voice said.

So the Samurai Rangers, who were trained their lives to fight the threat of Nighlok invasion for an entire series is completely helpless? I don't know what bothers me more: the fact they never even bothered to try and fight, or the fact the author could have used an alternative to introduce these Sues and chose the laziest route possible.

Quote :
A few minutes later help for the rangers arrived two twin girls flipped over the rangers. They were Jayden's young sisters Charlotte and Jacqueline Shiba, the white and black samurai rangers. Charlie has curly chocolate brown hair and dark red eyes. She is wearing a white tube top, a red halter vest over it, a jean skirt, red stockings, and yellow wedges. Jackie has straight chocolate brown hair and ice blue eyes. She is wearing a long sleeve black and white off the shoulder shirt, a royal blue vest, black skinny jeans, and black ankle combat boots with royal blue laces.
I can imagine the author just writing this squealing to themselves begging for someone to draw her SPESHUL SPARKLY WITTLE SUES KAWAII DESU~! because deep down, this is what the author wishes she was wearing, and she's poor. I laugh at how pathetic it truly is. I laugh even more so that, despite the fact these two Sues are twins, their eye colors are completely different.

Quote :
"You nighlock are going down!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Yea you get ready to get a load of my righteous wolf spirit!" Jackie exclaimed before she let out a wolf howl creating blue sound waves causing to moogers to fly away from the rangers.
Wrong series, love! This isn't Jungle Fury.

Quote :
"Harmonious phoenix spirit!" Charlie exclaimed forming a sun ball shaped like a phoenix. She threw it and it flew in a circle destroying most of the moogers.

"There goes most of the moogers you all can handle it from here my sisters and I are going after the nighlock" Jayden said. "Time to morph guys"
You read that right. She wiped out the majority of the Nighlok forces on her own, unmorphed. I seriously think Saban should nerf this next patch, because PVP is gonna be a bitch.

The majority of the chapter is just dialogue with few actions, but the Rangers morph and fight the rest of the battle.

Quote :
"Now let's go get that nighlock you guys stay here and finish off the rest of these moogers" Jayden said.

"Right" Everyone said before they did what they were told.

Once the battle was over, Charlie and Jackie walked into the Shiba house in awe.
...a battle that we don't get to see, because the author is lazy and prefers to focus more on how awesomely SPESHUL her Sues are. You're not really grabbing me by the balls, author. I'm more convinced that you're lazy, incompetent, and unoriginal.

So then, Mike and Emily, the green and yellow rangers respectively, decide they want not only more screen time before making out somewhere outside of this story, but some answers as to where the screaming blue hell-fuck these bitches came from.
Quote :
"So is anyone going to explain?" Mike asked.

"Yea Jayden you never told us that you had sisters" Emily said.
It's almost like you're foreshadowing something!

Wait, no, that'd be too clever for this author.

So instead we'll have some unclear Sue exposition.
Quote :
"Anyway our mother and her twin sister were the white and black rangers" Charlie said as she reached into her purse and pulled out a scroll.

"You carry that scroll around with you?" Kevin asked.

"Well we don't live in the Shiba house like the rest of you we had to make sure it was safe" Jackie said.

"As I was saying. We are the white and black rangers only two people who are extremely close can be the white and black rangers" Charlie said.

"Mainly twins and Charlie and Jackie are at that age where they are ready to become samurai rangers" Jayden said.

"Yep we turn sixteen tomorrow" Charlie said.
While black and white rangers are common throughout Sentai history, it doesn't excuse these Sues to be shoe-horned in just for the Author's sense of originality. And for that matter, what else do we know about these two? What is so important about the scroll they have? Why did they leave the Shiba house in the first place? These are important questions to consider, because if they exist just because, well, who could enjoy this?

Quote :
Reviews: 10
Aw, goddammit.

So what we do learn about the Sues is they also, coincidentally (I use the word, very, very loosely here) share Jayden's birthday, which happens to be tomorrow. I bet they're psyched to have a wild, balls-to-the-wall drink-yourself-stupid party to celebrate!

Quote :
"So what are you guys going to do tomorrow?" Mike asked.

"We have a hair appointment" Charlie said.

"Yep nothing puts me in a good mood then have a nice fresh hair cut" Jackie said running her fingers through her hair.
Oh, you have got to be fucking shitting me!

If these chicks are turned on from getting their hair cut, I know a barber on Fleet Street that's to die for.

So the Sues return and hilarity follows.

Quote :
"How was your hair appointment?" Emily asked.

"Good oh good" Charlie said.

"So let's see it" Mike said.

"See what? My new keychain? Look it's a cow it moos" Jackie said squeezing it causing to moo.
Your desperation to avoid the subject almost amuses me.

Quote :
"Why do you two have those scarves on your heads?" Kevin asked.

"Oh you know it's getting colder scarves are in" Charlie said not noticing Mike sneak up behind them and yank the scarves off their heads.

"Oh double crud" Charlie and Jackie said. Charlie's hair was bone straight and went all the way down to her waist and was deep red velvet color. Jackie's hair was cut short and reached the middle of her back and was wavy and ice blonde.
This reminds me of another show I've heard on Nick that follows teen girls getting up to comedic antics. What was it called again? I think Big Time Rush...?

Anyway, skipping a useless flashback that only detailed Jayden advising a wash and cut and the twins getting into how they hate people not telling them apart, which leads to the Sueish hairstyles.

Quote :
"Here's the bill" Charlie said handing it to him.

"A hundred fourteen dollars? !" Jayden exclaimed.

"Yea wash, cut, color, and style" Jackie said counting on her fingers.

"Time's two" Charlie added.
Remember when Power Rangers was about a group of teens fighting evil?

Neither do I!

Anyway, Emily and her unexplained clone decide to divert the subject of a $1400 haircut for cake and ice cream.
Quote :
"Well I think they look great" Emily said. "Now c'mon we've got some cake and ice cream in the kitchen" Emily said.

"Oooo I hope it's rocky road!" Jackie said happily before she and Charlie ran into the kitchen with Emily and Mia.
I almost wanted to embed video of Sloth from the Goonies, but felt there was no relevance.

And then Jayden announces a coming migraine.
Quote :
"Uh I feel a Charlie and Jackie headache coming on" Jayden said rubbing his head.

"You name your headaches?" Mike asked.

"No my head just hurts a lot worse when Charlie and Jackie do something they're not suppose to" Jayden said.
For once, I agree with Jayden. The majority of this story is just dialogue with no direction, annoyingly overused Suetropes, lazy writing, and an unexplainable desire to consume drain cleaner.

So one of the Sues goes to get more ice cream because most it was somehow dropped into a plot hole (I feel this story is going to have a lot of those), and we learn one of her powers is gross stupidity as she collides with a stationary, moveable person.
Quote :
She was walking to the check out counter before she bumped into someone knocking her down.

"Ow" Charlie said. "Oh good I don't have ice cream on my butt" Charlie said looking at her skirt.

"Hey are you okay?" She looked up and saw a boy with spiky dark red hair and dark brown eyes. He is wearing a crimson t-shirt, blue jeans, and brown flip flops. "I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going"
Seriously, she bumps into this guy, falls over from the force of her own stupidity, and hopes she didn't land on the ice cream. I have no words for how stupid this is.

So the hunk of manmeat the Sue literally fell over herself for is Roy, who wants to take her out for ice cream. ThingC asks ThingJ to cover for her BECAUSE THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE WITH TWINS BEFORE AND NEVER ONCE BACKFIRES considering we learned both hairstyles are a complete giveaway that THIS ISN'T THE CHICK YOU RAN INTO JUST A DAY EARLIER.

Emily overhears the Sues talking about, generally being useless save to invite the Sues to play the Power Rangers fighting game on SNES and leaves.

And then ThingC has a sudden heart palpitation.
Quote :
"Ow" Charlie said grabbed her chest.

"What's the matter?" Jackie asked.

"My chest hurts Emily's mood just dropped and I felt it" Charlie said.

"So what's the matter?" Jackie asked.

"When she was talking about Roy waiting" Charlie said. "Maybe she's upset because she wants to date someone and she can't"
Or foreshadowing for another pairing to follow in this story? I have just about fucking given up.

The rest of the chapter is just as wretched, but eventually ThingC has her date, niceties are shared, and there's a calm before the storm.

It's only 8 chapters, but so help me, I can't handle this level of stupidity. I honestly can't.
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Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 53
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

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PostSubject: Re: Rouge Rangers   Rouge Rangers EmptyThu Dec 20, 2012 8:24 am

Eight chapters? That's about six longer than I would have lasted. Rouge Rangers 611762
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Behind Blue Eyes
Behind Blue Eyes

Join date : 2009-06-06
Age : 38
Location : The Forest

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PostSubject: Re: Rouge Rangers   Rouge Rangers EmptySat Dec 22, 2012 4:17 am

I'd watch lingerie rangers.
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Los Christabel

Los Christabel

Join date : 2009-10-04

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PostSubject: Re: Rouge Rangers   Rouge Rangers EmptyMon Jan 07, 2013 9:36 am

Knorg, I quite imagine you'd have a crowd of GAFFers with you if you did. Pass the popcorn and spork, please. Rouge Rangers 453357
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