Poor Bloody Tom Hiddleston. Part 2. The deathfic.

Our author is JohnTomBenRobAl. Why?

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I change my username when I want to.

I do what I want.

John stands for Johnny Depp.

Tom stands for Tom Hiddleston.

Rob stands for Robert Downey Jr.

Ben stands for Benedict Cumberbatch.

Al stands for Alan Rickman.

My 5 loves.

Or her current five teen crushes. The 'I do what I want' is a Avengers meme that Tom himself used once on Twitter.


To be fair, our author is French, so kudos to her for having the guts to write a story in a second language. On the other hand she is a fanbrat who has decided that nothing shows her love for Hiddleston more than killing him in her two hundred and twenty-six word 'story'.

This is Unable to Love.

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Here I am. Alone. In the dark. In my hospital bed.

And here I am. Reading this. Wondering why. Sentences so short.

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Loki just striked again.

Yeah, that sounds like the grammar of a bloke who got a double first in one of the most prestigious universities on Earth.

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My name is Tom Hiddleston, and for many years I've been trying to fight this monster.

I hate him with all my heart and soul.

Okay, until you get used to it, the name does sound like a character from Lord of the Rings, probably a Hobbit, but it's not that bad.

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My friends. My family. He killed them all.

Wow. Tragedy as info dump. We'd feel for him more if there was the slightest sign he was feeling anything himself.

If Tom's been fighting this monster for 'many years', has Loki been killing for that long? How come Tom never thought to take pro-active measures before? How does he know that it's Loki doing the killing? Does he leave a, 'From the desk of Loki, God of Mischief. With compliments,' business card at every corpse?

Or has Loki just killed everyone Tom cares about in one night as a culmination? Because if so, breaking the news is a job I'd certainly like to delegate.

'I'm sorry, Mr. Hiddleston, but someone you care about very deeply has been killed. On the plus side, you won't have to tell your friends and family the sad news, because... as it happens...'

No.

There has to be a better way.

'Um, Mr. Hiddleston. You know how Royal Mail has put up the price of postage, and that everyone's Christmas card send out this year is going to be a lot more expensive? Good news! Yours won't.'

Again, no. That's not it either.

Anyway.

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I am alone in this hospital bed.

The call goes out to the Department of Redundancy. You notice it's now 'this hospital bed', when before it was 'my hospital bed'? Consistency. It helps with characterisation. You know what else helps? Fleshing out what is in fact a synopsis of less than one paragraph and turning it into a story.

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He made me kill myself. Loki.

Then he made a right pig's ear of it, didn't he? What with Tom being alive and all. Moreover, whether Tom tried to kill himself, if Loki tried to kill him, or Loki used his mind control abilities to make Tom try to kill himself, I don't see the authorities leaving him alone in the hospital bed. He'd be on suicide watch at least, or under suspicion of murdering his family from the cops and under guard.

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I hear foot steps and I know he's here.

Footsteps is one word, but my French is tres awful, so I'll let this slide.

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His cold grip on my hand.

Can someone tell me whether this is canonical in the Marvel universe? Every time Loki springs up in fanfiction his skin is cold, his touch is cold, his tongue rimming your arse his cold... I know the guy is supposed to be a frost person's rejected offspring, but wouldn't he have clicked that he wasn't Odin's son a lot quicker if all his life his knob had been like a popsicle every time he needed to pee? Is Loki's touch always cold?

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"I'm sorry. I just loved you. It seems I'm unable to love."

I'm sure Tom will find this cliche perfectly adequate to excuse the wiping out of his entire bloodline.

Isn't Loki's tragedy that he can love, but he cannot accept love from other's? Isn't that why he demands worship? Because he's Machiavellian? That while it is well for a prince to be both feared and loved, 'It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.' It's only my take on the character, but finding out the truth about his birth, I feel, made Loki hate himself. That way he can love, but not be loved. Because if someone loved him, they'd have nothing in common. But craving love he connives and betrays, even kills, to gain worship. Because he believes that worship through fear you can control. He's wrong, but logically wrong. Sanity pushed to insanity, if you like. Insanity not as a polar opposite of sanity, but it's twisted dark mirror.

And why does Loki love Hiddleston? The guy is a puny mortal who has had the audacity to play him, a god, as an ignominious failure in two entertainments for other puny mortals to laugh at. Moreover, nut job god of Chaos, Mischief and Lies he might be, but how did he believe he'd win Tom's love through any killing spree? Let alone taking out everyone Tom cares about?

I know, I know! Crowbarring logic into a fanfiction. Cardinal sin. That way madness lies. Moving on.

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He removes my oxygen mask and kisses my lips.

Also some context as to this 'suicide/murder' attempt would help. We know that Tom has his hands and throat in bandages. Which suggests he tried to cut his throat and wrists. Or plunged his head and hands into a hornet's nest. So why is he in an oxygen mask? Secondary infection in hospital? MRSA? Pneumonia?

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I can't breathe, I'm choking,

Again I cannot feel for Tom, as he isn't remotely feeling anything for himself. No survivor guilt. No distress or relief. No despair. No fear. Nothing. It takes some skill to write a person going through all this and having no emotional or physical response whatsoever.

And I use the word 'skill' quite wrongly here.

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My heart stops.

Oh yes? Why? Was the kiss long enough to stop breathing? Why can't the guy breathe through his nose? Or has Loki stopped Tom's heart? He's on oxygen but has no ECG? The hospital has no crash-cart?

What a goddamned mess of a story. There's so much which could be done with the concept, just wasted. Flat characterisation. No context. Emotionally hollow.

This has all my whats.
I know she was trying to make something dramatic, but she's doing it wrong.
Doing it so wrong.
Also, isn't it technically self incest because he played the character in the movie?
Are Movie!Avengers fans that screwed in that head?

I'd have to say, given that I've read over a hundred Tom Hiddleston/Loki fics, that yeah, they are that screwed.

It never seems to occur to them that Hiddleston might be afraid, even repulsed, by being confronted by a God of Mischief who kills on a whim. They only have to see each other and they want to shag. It's standard fan girl, of course. Tom is a looker, Tom playing Loki is a looker, ergo, Tom on Loki action is looker-squared. The hot buttsex must ensue.

I suppose the redeeming feature of this story, however slight is that Hiddleston is repulsed by Loki.

Summercorn wrote:

Can someone tell me whether this is canonical in the Marvel universe? Every time Loki springs up in fanfiction his skin is cold, his touch is cold, his tongue rimming your arse his cold... I know the guy is supposed to be a frost person's rejected offspring, but wouldn't he have clicked that he wasn't Odin's son a lot quicker if all his life his knob had been like a popsicle every time he needed to pee? Is Loki's touch always cold?

So, no-one is going to tell me if this is canonical?

You are not proper nerds!

I don't recall that being a thing, but I didn't read many issues where Loki showed up. The few I read where he was there, it was not mentioned or implied. The Manthing also doesn't recall that ever being a Thing.

Are these all Marvel Movieverse fics? That might explain it.

I think so. Some of the fans who write this Hiddleston stuff seem to have done some research into Norse mythology and the marvel universe, but most of them have just seen the movies.

It bemuses me because, if Loki grew up being continually cold to the touch and no other god in Asgard was, he should have clicked a bit earlier that he was different.