Am I Missing Something?

...

*sigh*

Spoiler:

Like her mentor Lil' Wayne, I can't decide if Nicki Minaj is annoying or ok.

...

This song is making me feel like it's the latter. God I regret saying "A$$" had the worst hook ever.

I mean, am I missing something? Is this some kind of a joke or something? How was this song able to get past the artist, the producers, and who knows how many record executives without anyone stopping to think, "Hmmmm... maybe this song is.... cancer in music form?" I'm beginning to think pop artists sometimes just intentionally try to slap the most awful shit they can imagine onto CD, just to see what they can get away with. Which makes them incredibly bored and horrible people. Or John Mayer. Eh, same thing.

I'm still trying to decide which beat makes me want to die more. "A$$" is just a jumbled mess, while "Stupid Hoe" sounds like robot Barbie stomping the homeless to death.

I was going to try to pull apart the lyrics, but I think I'll get to that later. I'm still trying to recover from her delivery. You know how Nicki Minaj has a habit of using accents that range from faux-British to insufferable Jabberwocky? Did you ever want the insufferable Jabberwocky part to take up 3/4ths of a song? No? Well, FUCK YOU SHE'S DOING IT ANYWAY! YOUNG FUCKING MONEY!

The more I listen to this song, the more I'm reminded of Bitch Suck Dick by Tyler, the Creator. This song also has an incredibly obnoxious, repetitive hook and is generally awful. But here's the difference. I know for sure that this song is intentionally awful and is meant as a parody of modern rap. It also doesn't make my brain want to climb out of my skull and hide (Tyler, the Creator is usually able to make up for the fact that his fan base has too many white hipsters that overuse the term "swag"). So why am I associating this song with the Nicki song?

Because after I showed "Stupid Hoe" to several people, many of them theorized that it was a parody song, like "Bitch Suck Dick". Intentionally grating and stupid and meant to mock other female artists. Which might be true. But if so, it still fails, because it's completely unbearable. Being a parody isn't an excuse to just come up with whatever and then say "it's ok, because this is what I think musicians I don't like sound like." You know what I don't like? Murder. I'm going to go out and violently butcher a bunch of hookers and when the cops arrest me I'll tell them "no, see, you don't get it. I'm parodying Jack the Ripper! It's a joke, see?"

And from what I understood of the lyrics, it doesn't seem like a parody. It seems like a pretty typical Nicki Minaj, I'm awesome and I have money and you're just a poor dumb bitch HA, track. At the end she says "I am the female Weezy". Yeah, same wildly uneven quality, track for track. Though, admittedly, her lyrics are usually consistently tolerable-to-pretty-good. She hasn't said anything like "bitch, I'm the shit/ and your boyfriends an ostrich" yet, so I guess she has that over her mentor.

Between this and "A$$" I'm starting to feel like maybe this would be a good year to just grab a shopping cart of non-perishables, move into the basement, and pretend music doesn't exist for awhile. But whatever, it's not like Nicki Minaj appeared on a remix of "A$$" or...

... no.

OH GOD.

THE BAD MUSIC SINGULARITY IS NIGH!

SMASH YOUR RADIOS! NO ONE IS SAFE!

I'LL BE IN MY BUNKER!

I'm not about to listen to that song, but I saw the title on Youtube. It would have been funny if it were about THIS kind of hoe:

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"Damn it, you stupid hoe! I'm trying to get my herb garden ready, and you keep running into rocks!"

There's parody, and then there's contempt. Contempt of the audience. Contempt of producers. Contempt of other artists.

Contempt for all life.

What I'm saying is that Nicki Minaj is trying to unmake the universe.

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Eh fuck it, this too:

Too much analysis, guys.

It's just shit.

From the little exposure I've had to NickI Minaj, I'm of the opinion she's a whore looking for a sugar daddy. The 'music' is just a way to get her in front of a wider audience.

@Penguin, what the hell did I just watch?

Also, Doobie, most: pop, rap, etc. has gone to shit in the recent years. Don't over analyze this, you'll just give yourself a headache.