Why God, Why?
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  Latest imagesLatest images  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest

Go down 
+4
Bamshalam
Exodia's Right Leg
Maximilia
Sakurelf
8 posters
AuthorMessage
Sakurelf
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sakurelf


Join date : 2009-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyMon Jan 16, 2012 6:33 pm

Here is where I introduce to you the closest thing I have to religion. I found my first Elfquest book at the library as a child and fell in love with it instantly. Good thing I was a mature child, too, because that shit has some adult content in it.

Elfquest starts out as the brainchild of Wendy and Richard Pini, husband and wife team, publishing their home-brewed fantasy comic in the early 70's. Wendy's talent is remarkable, and her illustrations are artful, delicate and detailed in every single panel. The early story is full of laughter, heartbreak, strength and sorrow. Oh, yes, I am attached to this series. But when a series goes on for well over 25 years, some things begin to stagnate.

During the comics boom of the 80's, demand for Elfquest rose beyond what the Pinis could produce. Artful, soulful illustrations and heartwarming stories can only be churned out so fast. Unfortunately, the Pinis decided to outsource production of the comic once the story lines of Elfquest kept splitting off again and again.

The original story is far too long to give a quick recap of, but suffice to say, they put one Barry Blair in charge of a “loose end” storyline. Whatever happened to Dart and the Sun Villagers? Thus begins the hackneyed, poorly conceptualized, unfunny, unsoulfull adventure known as “Forevergreen”

(I am biased. At this point, you kinda just have to go with my bias.)

What makes me hate Barry Blair the most?

1) Barry Blair can't draw wolves. This is Elfquest. The elves ride wolves. You pretty much need to know how to draw wolves since all of the main characters ride them.

This is a Wendy Pini wolf.

This is a Barry Blair wolf.

That poor, mangled beast. Good thing Barry tries to angle wolves out of the panels so that he doesn't have to draw them.

2) The lazy characterization. Everything about it is lazy. The elves were already designed by Wendy. All Barry had to do was recreate them, but I guess that was too hard.
3) Barry has two hairstyles he knows how to do. 80's Blown-out straight, and 80's blown-out curly. All hair is roughly the same length and thickness with variations in colour to tell the characters apart.
4) Barry Blair is faceblind. He has no idea how to draw an appropriate expression for a closeup. Characters in agonizing pain will look worried or confused. Characters that are sad will look curious or like they smell something so bad, tears are running from their eyes.
5) Height and weight are too difficult to keep continuous, so all female characters become busty, small-waisted dominatrixes while men get separated into Creepy Old Men and LITTLE BOYS.
6) Same goes for personality. Quirks? Past history? Nah, artistic license. Characters are seperated into ANGRY/SHRILL (for no apparent reason), ATTEMPTED FUNNY or DULL AS FUCK/CONSTANTLY TERRIFIED OF SOMETHING.
7) Barry Blair likes to take artistic license with his work. And by “artistic license” I mean “anachronism”. And by “anachronism,” I mean “I can't tell if he's blatantly trying to retcon something, just forgot about the previous story, or didn't care either way.”

The. Fucking. Belt. Buckles. BB, as I shall now call him for the sake of ease, has all the fashion sense of a greasy fat dude who draws comics for a living. That is, none. His repertoire of character outfits consists of tunics and cloaks for everyone, Leather belts with metal buckles, calf-length foldover boots and either tight, crotch-visible britches or loincloths for LITTLE BOYS.

“Hey, man, this is a fantasy series. Stop arguing minutiae over dumb shit.” Except that this is a well-established, 25-year fantasy series, and you are contributing to an established time line, BB. The comics that you drew for were PREQUELS. Neither the elves, nor the humans had knowledge of or access to metal. Not soft metal, not iron. No silver metal spear points, no daggers, no FUCKING BELT BUCKLES ON CAVEMEN GODDAMN THESE ARE NEOLITHS YOU LAZY FUCK LIKE ROCKS AND LEATHER AND SHIT. NO METAL. It is established in the very first book that humans don't have metal. Then, later on, it was shown in a flashback story exactly how the elves came into possession of metal. You're putting metal items with elves and humans long before either ever got ahold of it.

Every single delicately rendered, flashing, sparkling belt buckle that you LOVE to draw on all my favourite characters is an affront to my eyes, SIR. Also, they're fugly. So, yeah.

The story itself isn't too much to go nuts over. It's boring, unfunny when it tries, and has gaps and loopholes that leave you scratching your head rather than seething in rage. My first time reading Forevergreen, I started out lamenting over the loss of Wendy's beautiful illustrations, and their replacement with Barry's creepy obsession with scantily clad prepubescent LITTLE BOYS.

Dart* is well over 500 years old by the time Forevergreen rolls around He is also a father. Too bad for that, he is now a LITTLE BOY.
Kimo is roughly the same age as Dart. LITTLE BOY.
Suntop is 16. LITTLE BOY.
ShenShen is over 1,000 years old. BUSTY FEMALE.
Yun is about 30-50. BUSTY FEMALE.
Jethel is 7. LITTLE BOY, though why they would take an infant on an adventure is beyond me. Jethel is magically aged up a bit, or something. Honestly, I think Jethel was just made up and thrown in there so that Barry Blair could have more LITTLE BOYS.
Chot's age is unknown. CREEPY OLD MAN.
Dodia's age is unknown. BUSTY FEMALE.
Door is thousands of years old, but immortal. CREEPY OLD MAN.

*
Spoiler:

There is no variation on this for main characters. For background characters, there is the occasional fat, haggish woman or hideously-deformed-by-disease character, but both of those are simply variations on BB's “creepy old man” archtype.

Cool Barry Blair is obsessed with LITTLE BOYS. You know how I said that he separates all of his male characters into creepy old men and little boys? It is exactly like that. There are no young adults in BB's world. There is no middle-age. Only young, luscious, plump-lipped, small-hipped boys (God, I felt dirty writing that) and 40+ fat, wrinkly old men. Like, BAM. Puberty hits them like a truck to the face. Upon reaching puberty, these boys no longer have the sacred right to wear nothing but skimpy loincloths and frolic around in their little-boyness. They are a man, now, and must wear ugly, ugly half-calf foldover boots. And like, a vest.

9) The fucking porno-face. It only takes a few pages to start to see it. Those that started out reading Wendy's work will be puzzled, and won't see it right away, but the porno-face will creep up on you.

No matter which angle he draws the face at, BB always draws mouths going in the same direction. Sideways. With the lips sticking out as far as possible in an “OOU” vowel, no matter what the dialogue is. Are they exclaiming “DIE?” = OOU-mouth. NO VARIATION. BB needs his O-face on little boys, so that his work will always resemble the rest of the “exotic” pornography he's produced in his time.

If it looks like all of his drawn characters are missing a giant cock in their mouth, it is because they are. BB simply redraws his porno repertoire in each panel, minus the cocks and there we go. Action fantasy.

10) Now, why is BB obsessed with little boys and porno? Because BB is an actual pedophile.

Quote :
Cooper became a published cartoonist in his teens, creating sci-fi comics stories for Barry Blair's Aircel Comics. Blair has caused controversy with some comics that have featured young boys being tortured or eroticized, and while Cooper has never said that he was molested by Blair, he told The Comics Journal that their relationship was awkward and "inappropriate" and it served as the inspiration for Cooper's book Dan and Larry in: Don't Do That! The book features a childlike, "duckish" creature named Dan who is mentored by a pushy, older creature named Larry, and at one point Larry holds Dan down and presses against him, saying, "THIS is how we should play sometimes." Despite Larry's disturbing relationship with their son, Dan's parents are cheerfully oblivious. The Dan and Larry graphic novel culminates in a scene wherein Larry dons a leotard that reveals his small, erect genitalia and invites Larry to "touch it if you want to." This leads into a sexual encounter that culminates with what appears to be a cathartic expression, as Larry trips and suffers a gruesome accidental death.

BB's artistry has found him working on such groundbreaking art as: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Also, dubiously legal, considering all the kids on there.

This is a fansite, but the intro picture just kinda sums up his work pretty nicely:

Busty, fake-boobed women with giant pancake-nipples? Check.
Little boys in tight, revealing clothing and OOU-faces? Check.
Creepy old men? Check.
Inability to draw noses? Check.
Colour-coded genitalia? Check.

Pick any piece of BB work on this fansite (Pick any of it. The site itself is worthy of its own sporking) and you can have any or all of those things in one image.
But this isn't about BB's porno work. I wouldn't so much care about his cartoon kiddy-diddling if it didn't infect my favourite comic series.



This is about Forevergreen, and about how Barry Blair ruined Elfquest.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

The first few pages aren't so bad. We establish Chot returning to the frozen mountains, alone (Unlikely, but not impossible. It would have taken him several years to do so)

Aside from a little bit of OOU-mouth, it's mostly just a recap of previous comics. (Yeah, that electric blue and green outfit of Windkin's, I can't pin on BB. That was Wendy's idea.)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Yun is inexplicably wearing the same outfit she arrived at Sorrow's End in, despite it being several years later. An outfit designed for the arctic. In the desert. During a drought. Good job, BB.

Also, take note of the scripting. See, when you take a porno, but have to remove all 18+ content, all you're left with is an hour of a pizza delivery guy with a wrong number and two non-actors. That's pretty much how the Forevergreen script goes. It's not really funny, it's not really dramatic, it's not really a lead-up to a porno, since there's no actual porno allowed in it. It's a non-script with young boys and busty women flailing about amongst various plot elements.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“Now, quiet. I need to listen for a stream. These caverns are full of them. I know a thing or two about trolls.”

O... K...

“Over here!”

“I hear it, too. Zey, you're so clever.”

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

BB seems to have studied the Liefeld book of anatomy and passed the test on Way Too Many Fucking Teeth.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Get used to it. The language and colloquialisms really are that stupid.

Poking = fucking.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Another nice sampling of OOU-face.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

WHAT? NO, I DON'T EVER USE PORN FOR REFERENCE, WHY DO YOU PERCHANCE ASK?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Also, there is only one type of running. Full-sprint on your tippy-toes. No jogging, no trotting, just full-on face-forward sprint.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

The mountain! It's erupting! But we don't know this because we've spent all of half a day in the desert consciously and have been cocooned ever since. We don't even know what a volcano is, since neither of us has ever experienced one before. But shit, we gotta move!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Here's the part where things get interesting. And by “interesting” I mean “completely smothered in airbrush as an excuse not to draw backgrounds.” Holy SHIT can we ever not tell what's going on. I get that a scene like this can be chaotic, but this reeks of lazy to me. Don't know how to draw it? LOST IN TEH HAZE OF WAR. HAZE OF WAR. HAZE.

P.S. BB doesn’t know how to draw wolves, so he just says `fuck it`and gives them human eyes. LOOK AT THEM. They are the same as Dart`s eyes.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Transparent excuse to draw young boy butts and sprinting.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Have I mentioned that BB likes to rip off Wendy's more quotable passages? I'm sorry, “make reference to”.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

PA-KOOOM!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Psst. Bows don't work like that.
And that is one powerful fucking bazooka arrow that can knock an elf sideways off his mount several feet.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

DERP DERP DEAD.

NOOOOOH!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“With the son of Strongbow, something changes...”

Perspective?

Foreshortening?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Kimo just looks... worried. Not enraged. Sidemouth.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“My son and lifemate tied me here for safety.”

1) THEY WOULD NEVER EVER DO THAT. EVER.
2) Flimsy excuse for bondage? Probably.

BB also doesn't know how to draw braids. Check it.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Those aren't dreads, or some kind of “tribal” hair wrap. They're regular old braids. BB just can't be assed to draw them, and instead settles for “turds coming out of her head with pom-poms on the end”

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“What? Kahvi's not tanned? Shit, I forgot. Say it's because of the lighting.”

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“I don't know how to draw elderly women who aren't porn stars. Derp.”

“And I have completely forgotten what Kahvi's outfit looks like.”

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

DERP DERP.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Wrong expression. When molten rock has just penetrated your shoulder, you do not ponder over it casually with a 'wuh-huh?' look while tears roll down your face.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Did Kahvi stab Zey through herself? The world will never know. Really. It's never explained. Also, both Yun and Chot magically survive with no disability being stabbed in the spine and nearly cut in half respectively.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's conveniently raining for this dark moment!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

The End of Chapter 2.

Why is the water green?
For... EVER... Green?

Now go cure yourself with the original series to realise just what a disappointment this is.


Last edited by Sakurelf on Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:03 pm; edited 6 times in total
Back to top Go down
Maximilia
My spoon is too big.
My spoon is too big.
Maximilia


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 51
Location : South Dakota

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyMon Jan 16, 2012 7:33 pm

First off, thanks Sakurelf. Now my time will be consumed rereading this again. Heh. I'm too lazy to dig out my graphic novels. Razz

Second, I'm pretty glad I missed out on that. That looks... atrocious. Some of the guest writer stuff I wasnt' crazy about back in the day, but man, that just looks horrible. It makes me cry. How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest 309696
Back to top Go down
Sakurelf
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sakurelf


Join date : 2009-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyMon Jan 16, 2012 9:20 pm

Chapter three-OOU!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Loinclothed little boy for no reason.
Dart is digging out a cave with a trowel for some reason.
Everyone has the same hairstyle.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Someone please tell mender to brush that stupid curl out of his face.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Speaking of hair, Dart is now furiously competing with Lady Lovely Locks. for “most unreasonable hairstyle.”

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Laaaaady Lovely Locks!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Now, Dart has recognized the daughter of his friend, who had no name and no description before.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Well, well. At least we got SOME porn.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

He becomes a father, raises his son and then...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

GOES BACK TO SLEEP. Neither of ther lives mattered in the least. In the 10,000 year sleep, they both die of old age. There was no purpose to their existence except for

page filler
an excuse to draw porn
an excuse to draw little boys

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

In 10,000 years, Windkin went from ugly electric surfer dude to dominatrix. (yeah I realise there's a male term but in this case, it's not really necessary)
In 10,000 years Dart's fashion sense went Final Fantasy on us.
Mender is just... more loincloths. Get used to them.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

And what dominatrix outfit could be complete without finned, toeless calf boots. If they were invented, he'd probably be in heels.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Gosh, Dart decided to not wear any pants for the occasion.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Introducing Suntop: 16-year-old KING of the OOU-face and tight, bulge-showing trousers.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Also introducing ShenShen. Leetah's formerly sweet, flirtatious, well-rounded younger sister. Now reduced to the role of clucking hen and semi-comedic role for the sake of having a pair of tits on an adventure that isn't a warrior.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

HA HA HA DICKHOUSE.

Jesusfuck, that outfit is tight. Yikes.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Diiiiiiickhoooooouse

End of Chapter 3
Back to top Go down
Exodia's Right Leg
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Exodia's Right Leg


Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 38
Location : Niggertown, HUAHUEHUAland

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Jan 17, 2012 10:19 pm

I know next to nothing about Elfquest, but the difference between the books is blatant.
Back to top Go down
Sakurelf
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sakurelf


Join date : 2009-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Jan 24, 2012 11:22 pm

Chapter 4!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Open-crotch shot of Windkin, Dickhouse.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

HI-YAH KARATE KICKS, LITTLE BOYS AND ASSES.

OH DART YOU'RE SO AWESOME I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK I PROBABLY WILL LATER ALSO DIALOGUE.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Chot is now a creepy old man and also comedy fodder. All that shit conspiring with Zey against Kahvi and crossing the frozen mountaisn alone on foot? Fuck that, he's clumsy and gluttonous!

Also, Suntop is now permanently sporting an eye-consuming Liefeldian crotch bulge.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Here. I will link it. This is the only interesting drawing that BB has ever done.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Moving along, nothing particularly noteworthy. More stoned, derpface Savah, predominance of male characters drawn as little boys, Windkin's ass...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Dart's hair threatens to take over the comic and Savah now has Evil Vulcan Eyebrows.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

... Twice the ass...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So windkin grabs his wings made of stick and preserver silk and just... leaves. Provisions? Rest? Planning? Nah. Too slow.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

But overhead, Windkin sees... Humans! Humans have come to Sorrow's End!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

More specifically:

1 Creepy Old Man
2 Little Boys in loincloths
1 Disfigured-by-Disease (Creepy Old Man)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Hahaha, it's like character development or something.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Derpwolf.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Those tropical birds and fluorescent colours are giving me 80's nightmares. Also, The Forevergreen is actually a giant golf course, as illustrated by Barry Blair!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Now it is conveniently dark! This is much more believable, unlike that convenient rain during a drought.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Windkin is shot by... something! And the old dude winks his approval.

Chapter 5!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Who doesn't love bondage on the front cover with Windkin's crotch bulge in the very centre of the picture?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Back to more boys in loincloths.
And way, WAY too many fucking teeth.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

See that character on the far right? That's Jethel. Jethel is canonically 7 years old. Why he's used as a supporting character and magically aged up is beyond me.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

With a bit of sidemouth, Savah decides that Suntop, the 16-year-old should leave the nest and venture into unknown, violent territory for him. Gotta start 'em young.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“You know why I'm going.”

Well, yes. Windkin was supposed to come back in 3 weeks, and he didn't. That's not exactly prophetic.

“Yes, and in time you will, too.”

... What? YEAH, DUDE, WE ALREADY KNOW.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Which is then... re-explained on the next page. Boring filler, or comics for the Anterograde amnesia crowd? Only time will tell...

*wind whoosh*

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Savah and Suntop are suddenly acid green for no reason. There's no magic going on, and even when there is, this isn't what magic in the world of Elfquest looks like. They're just... green.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

As the search party from Sorrow's End departs with many tears and not-really-gut-wrenching-since-nothing-has-happened-so-far grief, we return this night to windkin... captured by young boys in loincloths!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Introducing the main baddie! You know he's bad because he scenes are dark. You know he's main because it takes three transition panels to introduce his name.

Aramek? No. From now on, you will be known as Jump Button. For various reasons, including your stupid, stupid design. Jump Button falls into the Barry Blair Stock Character Category of CREEPY OLD MAN.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

YOU KNOW HE HAS EVIL PLANS BECAUSE HE IS WINKING.
Evil overlord tip: Don't give away the game with sarcasm.

Windkin's crotch is glowing pink. His shota powers are growing!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So the premise of the story is basically explained through shitty foreshadowing. Crazy humans are into weird Elfentology and follow a dude who is obsessed with being an Elf Jesus or something. The sacrifice little boys because Barry Blair can't draw anything besides Busty Women, Little Boys, and Creepy Old Men.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

WHY ARE THE ELVES RIGHT NEXT TO A HUMAN CARAVAN?

WHY IS THAT HORSE'S EYE SIDEWAYS?

But seriously. It's a desert. Flat. They could have seen this caravan miiiiiiiiles away and just avoided it.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Dawn comes to the forevergreen. And with that, little boys in loincloths. Or LIL's. And now, a new character. Beast from the Xmen makes his debut.

Windkin is placed in a mysteeeeeerious foreshadowing cage while the LIL's go fetch him some food. Also, there are rape implications. Also, 3/4 of Windkin's skimpy-ass leather thongpiece is gone, leaving him wearing nothing but a tight black leather thongkini.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Dun dun DUUUUUUN.

Back to top Go down
Sakurelf
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sakurelf


Join date : 2009-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Feb 07, 2012 9:58 pm

Chapter 6!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

1) Wrong face Jethel. Sometimes I think BB draws his characters before the script is finalized. He may be drawing proper facial expressions, but then the text is suddenly edited to the character saying something entirely inappropriate to their expression. Poor planning or poor art, this mis-matched face-to-voice is everywhere.

2) Suntop just said he had a feeling you should keep moving. Why would you use that as immediate justification to investigate? Is that supposed to be funny, or does Dart just like not listening to people?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Oh noes, Yun has been captured by more creepy old men! Two of them are extremely dehydrated, as illustrated by the massive visible veins around their eyes and noses. The other is horribly misshapen and knock-kneed.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Wrong.

Faces.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Everywhere.

These are not what human expressions look like in these situations. Face + words DO NOT MATCH.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

The wrinkles! The neverending wrinkles! Did the clothes get larger? Did everyone just shrink, like Chot's head?

This is pretty typical of a BB fight scene. Extremely crowded and claustrophobic, with too many wrinkles, swords and asses crammed into one panel to tell what's going on. BB has shown us that he hates drawing backgrounds, so this is his composition compensation.

Also note: There Is Only One Way To Run. Full-tilt forward with one leg lifted. ONLY ONE WAY TO RUN.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Jethel and Chot scare the humans away and a good laugh is had by all. Cut back to the Forevergreen. A nameless LIL is gazing up at a haggard black bird as it struggles to fly on ruined wings.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Inside Door's main chamber, the Big Baddie introduces himself. A lethargic elf who likes to sit in darkness surrounded by little boys.

Door's inner chamber is a room. With, like, some rope and fabric and shit. Also, there was some empty space in the frame, so here's half of a potted plant. YAY BACKGROUNDS.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS FOR EYES

Jesus.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Why is Kimo Wingding-swearing? He is clearly on dart's immediate right-hand side. And has a ponytail.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Ah, the elves in their natural, relaxed state!

Chot lounges on a tree with a bizzare facial expression near some derpy-looking wolves. Shenshen is a useless domestic harpy, and so she is giving Yun a massage between filling up colourful water balloons to place in their picnic basket. Yun is not wearing pants. Suntop and Jethel, the youngest of the crew, decide to use this moment to eschew clothing and frolic in the strange and wonderful Forevergreen Sideways Water. How magical that the waters in this region escape all perspective! Kimo has sparkly metal tits. Dart is masturbating, but that's not PG, so it's cut out of the frame.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

1) WHOSE ARM IS THAT?

2) Deeeeerpwolf

3) The elves seem to have really taken to Polished Chrome Everything. The glints! They blind!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I think the only reason ShenShen is even there is to reinforce to us that Suntop and Jethel are CHILDREN CHILDREN YOUNG CHILDREN YOUTH. Then, they are able to respond to the accusation with rejection and announcement that they are NOT children! Young enough to draw, old enough to sexualize and rationalize. P.S. Jethel is still canonically 7 years old.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Cut back to the Hungtsho city. A vibrantly decorated LIL approaches Beast From The Xmen, and demands to see his father.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Ah! His father is Jump Button! This is his son! I bet this is important!

Arms and hands are too hard to draw. Besides, who's going to look when you can just give her massive tits and call it a day?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Ok... so. We have a suspicious-seeming woman with her untrusterly femininity, and some accusation about her not being the boy's mother. It's like Reverse Hamlet!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

When you draw her hair as obviously as that, yes. I'd say more than likely.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

This is what Skywise looks like. YEAH, DUDE, I BET IT'S TRUE.
Back to top Go down
Bamshalam
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Bamshalam


Join date : 2009-06-10

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyThu Feb 09, 2012 9:21 pm

I always wondered why the art started sucking dick after a certain point in the series.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 39
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Feb 14, 2012 9:27 am

Gee, they all bash on this Chot guy but from what I have seen here he seems like the most likable one.
Back to top Go down
Sakurelf
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sakurelf


Join date : 2009-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Feb 14, 2012 6:51 pm

Chapter 7: Tits, loincloths and sidemouth!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Backgrounds? Those are for losers who don't know how to draw impossibly vertical, page-filling waves! Airbrush ahoy! *spritz spritz spritz*

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Those creepy, veiny crow's feet are back, this time implanting themselves on Chot. It's like BB started with veins, tried to re-work them into wrinkles, then just said “fuck it” and tried to turn those into hatching.

This page also has to be one of the worst for lazy airbrushing. I get that this was a time before computer colouring and photoshop, but this colouring is absolutely terrible. Light source? What's that? Every character seems to be shaded with a magically new light source. Jethel Looks like he was interrupted during a heavy spray-tan session.

And why the FUCK is the sky a muddy dark green? They're not in the foreverGREEN. They're in the middle of the ocean.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Windkin is sad and also sunburnt apparently.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

~Everything Metal Sparkles~

EVERYTHING.

IN EVERY PANEL.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

BB doesn't know how to draw facial contours.
Dude has some baaaaaags under those eyes.

Also, his girlfriend is backlit on BOTH sides of her cupid's bow. That is some magical lighting.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Yeah, they`re gonna make it! Uh-oh, what's that purple blob under the water?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

A KRAKEN FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!

Nice pirouette, Jethel.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Dart and Yun are trapped in Limbo while flaming piles of poo fall all around them!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

1) That is not how people swim.
2) That is not how physics work. If you stick your sword into a creature larger than you, it'll just drag you along.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Fuck landscapes, even seascapes are too hard. Let's just draw every scene with giant, choppy triangle waves. Adventure!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Cut back to the previously seen dude who was wandering around the human city with a grudge against his adopted mom. Why does he wear such ridiculous non-clothes? Hell if I know. BB is a pedophile.
Which also helps to explain why there are no young adults in the Forevergreen. All of this kid's friends, servants and bodyguards are either prepubescant boys of the a similar age to him, or wrinkly old men. Guess which one BB likes to draw more?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Little boy ass! :D

So, let's keep a running tally, shall we?

Kids who were sacrificed at the beginning f the story (2)
Servants to Son of Jump Button (4)
Son of Jump Button himself (1)
Servants of Door (2-4)

I wonder if this city suffered from some sort of epidemic that killed off only young men and all the women, leaving nothing but an entire generation of old men and little boys to pick up the shattered pieces.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

ONLY ONE WAY TO RUN
(They're not naked, they're wearing arm-sling things!)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

PERSPECTIVE IS HAAAAAAARD

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Random cut to a poem.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

“How far we've followed, small and few
This path my vision's led us to
All unforseen”

Meh.
There have been better poems and songs written for Elfquest.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Watch as Suntop's tan magically smears around his body! Also, animals are crawling all over his comatose form for some reason.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Worst pants.
Ever.

Also, where is the crotch seam and waistline, lazy-ass? You can't just draw random gathers around the waist with nothing to draw it in. That's an impossible pair of pants. Also, it implies that ShenShen is really fat. /fashiondesigner.

Remember, ShenShen's only purpose in this story is to be a walking pair of tits that naaaaaags because it's funny when contrasted with Chot's behaviour!

Metal thing. It glints.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

NAG NAG NAG HENPECK HA HA HA THAT BITCH IS SO ANNOYING!
Man, that “we're not children” bit sure isn't getting old!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Whups, forgot to finish ShenShen's headband. Too busy giving her and Dodia massive titty-bitties.
Back to top Go down
Mr.Doobie
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Mr.Doobie


Join date : 2009-10-23
Location : under the sink

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Mar 06, 2012 8:42 am

Every time I see this thread, I keep imagining the thread title being "How Barry Blair Lost His Groove" and it makes me smile...
Back to top Go down
Strongroot




Join date : 2012-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptySat Jul 21, 2012 5:01 am

Kudos to Sakurelf to bringing this travesty to my attention. Or I'm not exactly sure. scratch

I simply had to register only to express my deep disgust on BB's so-called drawings. Oh man, those wolves. Lol... and that goddamn fetish of young boys and children. How come Pinis allow this bullshit to continue anyway?

Sheesh. I'm only happy I have just the original Elfquest albums and not what happened afterwards outsourcing. What a goddamn travesty. Rolling Eyes

Back to top Go down
Strongroot




Join date : 2012-07-21

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptySat Jul 21, 2012 5:03 am

Oh yeah, and I didn't have the courage to check all those links. Should be fun(?) to go them through with my comic-drawing friends.
Back to top Go down
kleine_kat
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
kleine_kat


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 44
Location : Lower Countries

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyMon Aug 27, 2012 6:58 am

Ugh. I love ElfQuest and hated almost everything not drawn by Wendy. If I were able to figure out how an elf was drawn when I was 15, how come none, and I do mean none, because BB isn't the only one, was able to get the hair, the eyes, the proportions right?

But yeah, this is truly atrocious. Especially since once in a while, he does produce one or two panels that make me think 'Hey! You can reproduce an ElfQuest elf! Why the hell don't you do that more often!'.

Sakurelf, did you read Rogue's Curse? Not Challenge--which, apart from the first story, which looks wonderful, also sucks ass--but the one about Rayek wondering around like some kind of Ronin with Winnowill inside his head? It has some nice bits but most of it was just as bad as Forevergreen. Especially the script. Ugh.
Back to top Go down
Exodia's Right Leg
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Exodia's Right Leg


Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 38
Location : Niggertown, HUAHUEHUAland

How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest EmptyTue Aug 28, 2012 9:53 am

kleine_kat wrote:

But yeah, this is truly atrocious. Especially since once in a while, he does produce one or two panels that make me think 'Hey! You can reproduce an ElfQuest elf! Why the hell don't you do that more often!'.
He never wanted to. Much like Liefeld turns everything into a mass of muscles, deformed women and grimaces, he prefers to draw everything like his pedo-comics.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty
PostSubject: Re: How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest   How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest Empty

Back to top Go down
 
How Barry Blair ruined Elfquest
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Things the Sues Have Ruined for You
» For those of you wondering what it would take to get Barry Bonds in handcuffs....

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: