Who knew the BAU waddled?

For a Reid story this isn't so much worse then some of then out there but the waddle just can't be missed.


Memory Gone by ReidandReviewplzz

Cause you just know that *that's* a promising username.

Quote :

Morgan P.O.V.

"Reid, are you ok?" He took it in for a moment as if thinking the answer to a math problem.

"Yeah." His voice as low his eyes sunken, and to top it off he was deathly pale. I decided not to push the issue.

"He was vomiting blood and having a heart attack...but I decided not to push the issue"

Quote :

We waddled our way up the stairs

Waddled? Waddled?...as in ducks? As in 'quack, quack'? So do all the BAU waddle or is this special to Morgan and Reid?

Some more people show concern for Reid who is busy being really subtle and violently rubbing his forehead. Then JJ starts debriefing.

Quote :

"So we have 13 missing 9 year old girls who went to the same school….. Spence what was the name of the school?"

I'm not sure whether to point out the absurdity of the fact that it took 13 girls from the same school to get their attention or the illogicalness of JJ expecting Reid to know the name of the school involved in the case she's just now telling them about now.

Reid freaks out at the drop of a hat pin as often happens in these stories and storms off....as also happens. The poor guy couldn't get through a season with all the angst stuff that actually does happen to him on the show if he really lost it this easily. Actually you know I can't remember one time the character actually has yelled. He snapped at Prentiss once, but it was so out of character she knew something was wrong even thought she just met the guy.

Quote :

"He had a different nightmare every night and he told me the nightmare from Monday to Sunday. On Monday he relived the Tobias incident. On Tuesday he dreamt of when he sent his mother away. Wednesday he imagined what would have happened if we didn't show up in time and he had to dig his own grave. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, he had no nightmares. Then on Sunday he vividly recovers a memory for when he was on his 16th birthday…." She paused and turned to the window and looked at Reid.

" Tobias…"

Apparently the author feels Thursday, Friday and Saturday don't really count as nights. 'He had nightmares every night this week. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday he didn't have nightmares.......*mumbles* I could only think of four nightmares'
Which I can totally understand, after all you know, it's not like Criminal Minds gives any nightmare fuel at all, nope, nope, nope.

Also I'm confused. Was his last nightmare about when he was 16 or was it about Tobias? Reading on does not clear this issue up at all.



Chapter Two

Quote :

"Tobias raped me. Are you fucking happy? Tobias raped me just like Timothy….." We all turned around to Reid who realized he said too much and ran not even to pick up his 3rd arm, his messenger bag.

"Wow." JJ said trying not to cry.

"I know." I said

Gasp! He ran not even to pick up his third arm?! You mean he ran for a completely different reason? Does Reid often run to pick up his third arm? Of course if I had a third arm I might run to pick it up too should it drop.

He realized he had said too much? What were you trying for Reid sweetie? At what point in that sentence did you intend to stop? Also, I'll be honest, it took me the longest time to figure out the third arm was referring to the bag.

But no, I think the best part about this is JJ and Morgan reactions.
"Wow."
"I know."
"That's out there man."
"Far out."

Quote :

Hotch was back to sounding leaderish.

And the writer was back to making up adjectivish words.

Quote :

Chappyter 1

I hate you already.

Quote :

HEY READ IT AND READ MY NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!

What if I don't want to?

Quote :

We waddled our way up the stairs

Crap, he's pregnant again. Ever notice how many CM mpregs feature Reid in the starring role? Too many, if you ask me.

Quote :

We all watched as he sat as his desk with his down

Jacket? Comforter? Or is he just holding a handful of feathers?

Quote :

"EXPLAIN NOW!" I didn't mean to yell at her but I mean I have never ever seen Reid go off like that before.

That doesn't excuse you screaming at the top of your lungs like that.

Quote :

*&^(^&*%$*&^%%$#^%&$$^%*&^

This is actually meant to be a page divider, but to me it looks like a string of profanity.

Quote :

don't know what to write….. So now you .. No not you…you scoot over to the left… yeah you to give me an idea.

WRITE MAH STORIE FUR MEEEEE!

Quote :

I CHANGEDD THE FIRST CHAPPTER

OK this is going to be a dark fanfic now…..

SORRY IT IS SOOOOOOO SHORT.

It seemed pretty dark before. And stop with the extra letters! You don't need them!

Quote :

"Wow." JJ said trying not to cry.

"I know." I said

"Not just that but this has happened before." JJ broke down.

How does she know?

Quote :

I IS BACKK

I is not happee.

Quote :

Reid P.O.V

My head is throbbing, no pounding like a jack hammer.

I get outside of the BAU office and I smell the breeze.

ERCHHHHHHHHH

"I hate garbage day!"

Quote :

A35DSA5, then I notice something on the ground.

Oh My God…

It was a picture…..

Of Reid…

And…edoshsxnm ed saz,x;./x

Is this the point where the author's keyboard rebelled?

Quote :

Prentiss?

What the hell? All I knew was Prentiss knows more than she is letting us in on.

She speaks gibberish?

That's the end of Chap(py)ter 3, and that's all I can take. Who's next?

It's customary, friend, to link to the bad-fic.

I know, sorry about the lack of link, but I've been a reader here for a while and just decided today to finally join up today and the forum doesn't allow you to post a link till you've made seven posts. So I provided the username and story title, probably should have added that it's on fanfiction.net.

Memory Gone.

There you go.

Quote :

Author has written 51 stories for iCarly, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, Big Time Rush, Glee, South Park, Across the Universe, and Web Shows.

Fifty one... Sheesh. This one is heralded with the summary:

Quote :

READ WRITE REVIEW! rated t cuz i am me RATED M FOR FLASHBACKS OF RAPE AND CHARACTER DEATH...Maybe ;

Oh you tease... Maybe. rated t cus i am me? Until now I'd never heard of Criminal Minds. Now I feel sorry for it.

Oh my god, this is a gold-mine! I haven't seen a Fan-Brat this bad since Lich King's Daughters.

Also, just for next time it's nice if you mention the name of the fandom too, because I don't watch Criminal Minds, so the names Reid and Morgan don't mean anything to me and I had to google it to have some idea of what fandom it was.

your mom wrote:

Also, just for next time it's nice if you mention the name of the fandom too, because I don't watch Criminal Minds, so the names Reid and Morgan don't mean anything to me and I had to google it to have some idea of what fandom it was.

Or read my post, which linked to it. I didn't know the fandom either, but I thought it was good snark.

Summercorn wrote:

your mom wrote:

Also, just for next time it's nice if you mention the name of the fandom too, because I don't watch Criminal Minds, so the names Reid and Morgan don't mean anything to me and I had to google it to have some idea of what fandom it was.

Or read my post, which linked to it. I didn't know the fandom either, but I thought it was good snark.

I wasn't trying to be rude, and I wasn't saying it wasn't a good snark, I was just trying to give them a tip for next time.

your mom wrote:

Or read my post, which linked to it. I didn't know the fandom either, but I thought it was good snark.

I wasn't trying to be rude, and I wasn't saying it wasn't a good snark, I was just trying to give them a tip for next time. [/quote]

Fair enough. No biggie.

L3 wrote:

For a Reid story this isn't so much worse then some of then out there but the waddle just can't be missed.


Memory Gone by ReidandReviewplzz

Cause you just know that *that's* a promising username.

Quote :

Morgan P.O.V.

"Reid, are you ok?" He took it in for a moment as if thinking the answer to a math problem.

"Yeah." His voice as low his eyes sunken, and to top it off he was deathly pale. I decided not to push the issue.

"He was vomiting blood and having a heart attack...but I decided not to push the issue"

Quote :

We waddled our way up the stairs

Waddled? Waddled?...as in ducks? As in 'quack, quack'? So do all the BAU waddle or is this special to Morgan and Reid?

Some more people show concern for Reid who is busy being really subtle and violently rubbing his forehead. Then JJ starts debriefing.

Quote :

"So we have 13 missing 9 year old girls who went to the same school….. Spence what was the name of the school?"

I'm not sure whether to point out the absurdity of the fact that it took 13 girls from the same school to get their attention or the illogicalness of JJ expecting Reid to know the name of the school involved in the case she's just now telling them about now.

Reid freaks out at the drop of a hat pin as often happens in these stories and storms off....as also happens. The poor guy couldn't get through a season with all the angst stuff that actually does happen to him on the show if he really lost it this easily. Actually you know I can't remember one time the character actually has yelled. He snapped at Prentiss once, but it was so out of character she knew something was wrong even thought she just met the guy.

Quote :

"He had a different nightmare every night and he told me the nightmare from Monday to Sunday. On Monday he relived the Tobias incident. On Tuesday he dreamt of when he sent his mother away. Wednesday he imagined what would have happened if we didn't show up in time and he had to dig his own grave. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, he had no nightmares. Then on Sunday he vividly recovers a memory for when he was on his 16th birthday…." She paused and turned to the window and looked at Reid.

" Tobias…"

Apparently the author feels Thursday, Friday and Saturday don't really count as nights. 'He had nightmares every night this week. On Thursday, Friday and Saturday he didn't have nightmares.......*mumbles* I could only think of four nightmares'
Which I can totally understand, after all you know, it's not like Criminal Minds gives any nightmare fuel at all, nope, nope, nope.

Also I'm confused. Was his last nightmare about when he was 16 or was it about Tobias? Reading on does not clear this issue up at all.



Chapter Two

Quote :

"Tobias raped me. Are you fucking happy? Tobias raped me just like Timothy….." We all turned around to Reid who realized he said too much and ran not even to pick up his 3rd arm, his messenger bag.

"Wow." JJ said trying not to cry.

"I know." I said

Gasp! He ran not even to pick up his third arm?! You mean he ran for a completely different reason? Does Reid often run to pick up his third arm? Of course if I had a third arm I might run to pick it up too should it drop.

He realized he had said too much? What were you trying for Reid sweetie? At what point in that sentence did you intend to stop? Also, I'll be honest, it took me the longest time to figure out the third arm was referring to the bag.

But no, I think the best part about this is JJ and Morgan reactions.
"Wow."
"I know."
"That's out there man."
"Far out."

Quote :

Hotch was back to sounding leaderish.

And the writer was back to making up adjectivish words.

apparently I'm starring in a story, when did THIS happen?!