1000 tearz or deth

Today, I'll be reviewing This monstrosity.

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AN: uhh... yah. this is my story. i dunt one ne of the lyriks or nething. HP belongs 2 jk rowling. if ur a prep FUK OFF! oderwize enjoy!1

I have a bad feeling about this.

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my name is Atera Darkness Amy Nny Gerard Klesa Quella Elddir,

That would be one hell of a passport.

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mi dad abuses me and lites stuff on fire and thrws it at meh

She seems pretty blase about it given that her dad must burn the house down regularly.

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occasionally I get rapped

By this guy!

But in all seriousness, does this version of New York have a police force?

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I lok lyke i'm a emo/goff/goth person, bcuz i alwayz wear blak; tho i also war lotz of red and grey. i hav thik rimed nerd glases wit layrs of tape on dem cause the joks punch me in da face alot even tho i dun hurt NEone. im almost skinny enuf to be anorexik tho i have curvs in al teh right places. meh skin is as pale as paper, and i draws on mehself wit a knife wit mi blodd as teh ink; thx 2 dis i hav alot of skars on mi rist. mi eyes r as red as the blood that flows thro mi wonds, though they have a fw fleks of a dark blak color in them. Mi is raven blak wit streaks of red silver nd wite on it, and it gos down too my Nnys (Gedit?). my eyes r lyke slits, but slightly wider nd mi nose is a bit more den two woles in my face, tho it loks good on me. today i am wering a red nd blak lether mini (It was manly blak but had red near teh waste and bottom) with a red belt holdin it up. nd my shirt is red and it only goes to just abov my belly buton, and over it is a blak lether jaket. im wearing blak shoes tha are pointy and highheeled wit the word 'Emo' written in red on the side and bottom of them. im alzo wering a blak choker neklace with a red stone in the senter. i waz also wering a spiky braclet.

I'll give you three guesses which infamous fanfic the author plagiarised here. The first two don't count.

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wen i wok up i was mising most of mi clots (som perverted homles peopl must of took them to se under dem). i den saw da red and blak wolf from erlier. i gasped. it started waking closer to me and i got very quite. it still had a letter in itz moth, but it dropped it next to me. it den ran away which made me sad, but i picked up the letter. i then opend it and i red wat it said. after a wile i started crying, i waz finally going away from thiz hell hole. it waz a letter from hogwarts.

Words cannot describe this. The fact that somebody could churn something like this out...and that's only half of it, the rest is just song lyrics. I despair for the future of the English language.

And the worst part? There are still 5 more chapters!

For reference, the author's gimmick is to stress the work of a frustrated beta. The second half of the chapter is just the story rewritten.

It just isn't the most compelling train wreck out there.

Obvious troll is obvious. And not funny. :meh:

Don't be so sure it's a troll...we could very well be dealing with a genuinely awful badfic writer.

I seriously doubt this is for real. This is too damn stupid, even for the children that hang around the Pit. There's too many cliches in the chapters, and the spelling is obviously fake-bad. Genuine bad spelling comes from morons who try to spell phonetically. That's how we get so many mixed up uses of "their", "they're", "there", or the more common and more infuriating "you're" vs. "your".

"Goth" being spelled as "goff" was pretty much a dead giveaway of trolling. Even Hot Topic trash knows how to spell their supposed lifestyle.

This isn't even a creative spin on My Immortal. It's a blow-by-blow repeat almost.

Dude, there are plenty of badfics to snark that don't have goffs and Harry Potter in. Just about any that do anymore are guaranteed trollfics.

haha oh god this is very likely a troll.

If it's not, be afraid. BE VERY AFRAID.

Troll or no, the "occasionally I get raped" bit is mind-blowingly lulz-inducing.

I call troll too. The writing style looks very similar to the Twila one.

I don't mind trollfics when they're still lulzy, but all too often trolls don't seem to be able to think up anything more creative than a carbon-copy of My Immortal. And My Immortal wasn't all horrifically spelt, it had just the right amount of effort put into it to make you wonder whether its real or not. That was the charm.

My Immortal was written by the most dedicated troll ever. It is, in itself, a masterpiece.

See, it's twats like this that make me ashamed to be a Green Day-fan.

What do Billie Joe and Co. have to do with this?


In extension, what does poor Gerard Way have to do with this?

Are you serious?

This authour should borrow a page from The Smiths. For example a good practice would be to start with:



To which the readers' response would be...

I'll give this a shot.

Chapter 1

DGEG wrote:

Hello, my name is Atera Darkness Amy Nny Gerard Klesa Quella Elddir, tho most peopz jus kall me Amy (Cause I luk lyke Amy Lee (She's so fukin awesom!))

I really don't know why the author couldn't have at least tried a different subculture.

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i waz razed by my fater (mi mom died wen i waz born), mi dad abuses me and lites stuff on fire and thrws it at meh. he also makes me walk to skull (Get itt?) every day thro the alleys of new york.

I don't know where the Enoby-substitute being abused thing came from.

And the reason it worked in My Immortal was because it was kept to a brief aside, trivializing it far beyond offensiveness to hilarity. Here it just falls flat.

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occasionally I get rapped or mugged alot bekus i lok defenslis.

In which the author ruined the lyrics to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" for me.

The clothing porn segment is rather unremarkable, save for this segment:

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i draws on mehself wit a knife wit mi blodd as teh ink; thx 2 dis i hav alot of skars on mi rist.

Trying to imagine this girl using the phrase "thanks to this" rather breaks the flow.

At any rate, Amy finds a wolf who is about to deliver a letter from Hogwarts, but is scared away by a prep:

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"WAT THE FUK!" I shoted, the prep looked at meh and shouted for her boyfreind (who waz a jok) to cum and beat me up.

Behold the only joke in the chapter; misuse of the word "come."

What's worse is that the containing paragraph is posted twice. When My Immortal repeated sequences verbatim it at least kinda worked because it was properly integrated into the sequence of events, forcing the reader to read it both times.

May or may not continue with the rest. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot to point out.

My Immortal is something of a work of art, as trollfics go. It's brilliant.

Every attempt to plagiarise it can only be lame.

The Scientist wrote:

My Immortal is something of a work of art, as trollfics go. It's brilliant.

Every attempt to plagiarise it can only be lame.

I wouldn't go that far.

"Helena" (LRM Reading starts here) is a fairly good MI clone that took a crackfic direction.

I guess I'm going to have to check it out, then.

In this case, I'd love to stand corrected. I still can't forgive the epic troll who wrote MI for ruining MCR's rep.

I guess one original thing about this fic is that it introduces "joks" to the whole prep/goff dynamic. It's like an expansion pack, in a way.

One thing I just noticed about this story is how old it is - December 2006. It's probably one of the oldest My Immortal clones out there, which could explain why the author felt no compulsion to innovate her style to stand out.

Chapter 2 is, in and of itself, quite unremarkable. Amy gets locked away by her father until, when he's out of the house, Harry Potter and author's-friend-based OCs "Jeszie" and "Fally" take her away in a flying car to Hogwarts. Harry is, of course, initially mistaken for Billie Joe Armstrong.

At this stage of the story, the author tries to make something out of her frustrated beta gimmick by throwing in some snarky comments.

DGEG wrote:

"R u Atera Darkness Amy Nny Gerard Klesa Quella Elddir?" Teh gurl asked goffikly, "Yeh, watz it 2 u!" i said all emoish. "Kawaii (A/n thatz 'cute' fr all u prepz! FUK OF!) name girl! We're her to tak (A/N: Geddit, lik Tak from IZ cuz shes so kewl in goff!) u to hogwartz!" she sad (A/N: Geddit!). "OMG stup lieing!" I shoted, mi jaw droping. i then relized she sad we're her. i looked behnd her and i saw... BILLY JOE ARMSTRONG! (A/N OMG he'z so hot!) I gasped nd run up to him "OMG BILLIE JOE UR SO AWSOME!" i shouted, shaking hsi hand.

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"Are you Insert long sue name here?" The girl asked 'gothiclly'.

"Yeah, what's to you?" I said 'emoishly'.

"Mutilation of Japanese here name girl! We're here to take you to Hogwarts" She said.

"Oh my god! Stop lying!" I shouted my jaw dropping. I then realized she said 'We're here'. I looked behind her and I saw Insanelongpausehere BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! I gasped and ran up to him "Oh my god! Billie Joe you're so awesome!" I shouted shaking his hand.

Or trying to be snarky anyway (perhaps lampshading is the proper term?) At the same time she seems to squander the opportunity to throw in unfortunate typos in the lyric padding.

Dude, pulling Gerard Way into this is bad enough, but

HANDS OFF BILLIE JOE!

GAH!


He touched my hand at the GD gig I went to (and yes, I had to wash it since then, sadly ).

These people creating these trollfics mean to mess with people's heads, but I don't like it when they make normal MCR/Green Day/Linkin Park fans look like emo morons.

Next thing you know, Chester Bennington will be making an appearance.

Do I have to go all LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE again? Sheesh.

Holy smokes, they cursed it into existence themselves!

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There's only Billie Joe and Amy Lee missing from the combo!

My immortal = hard to surpass in terms of trolling, and honestly, if someone manages to outdo My Immortal, they deserve some kinda reward.