"Fake companion" service offered on Facebook

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FACEBOOK'S relationship status is set to become even more complicated with the launch of a fake companion service for lonely hearts.

Called Cloud Girlfriend, the service promises users with empty Facebook walls the chance to make their friends jealous.

How does it work? Well, it's not quite as dramatic as the plot of Weird Science, but it's almost as silly.

You describe your dream girlfriend to the company, which then creates a fake profile and starts sending pokes your way.

The instructions on the Cloud Girlfriend website read:

STEP 1: Define your perfect girlfriend.

STEP 2: We bring her into existence.

STEP 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favourite social network.

STEP 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

Digital media specialist Fi Bendall said the startup represented some troubling aspects of online behaviour and blurred the line between fiction and reality.

"I think it’s a pretty sad proposition to be honest," she told news.com.au.

"I looked at it and I felt there was such a real sadness around it in terms of human loneliness.

"Who on earth would want to do this unless it was done for fun?"

Ms Bendall said Cloud Girlfriend potentially put user information and privacy at risk.

"I think there are too many things that are wrong with it," she said.

"There are too many things from an ID protection point of view, a privacy point of view, using the net with best practice in terms of safety and online safety and security, helping young people to use it in a positive way and using social networking in a positive way.

"This opens the door to serious problems jumping up."

Though the website has yet to officially launch, the service is already in high demand.

Cloud Girlfriend have encouraged people to "register early" as, according to the company, demand is high.

"Due to high demand we are only able to accommodate a limited number of users," reads a warning posted to the site.

It's not clear yet whether the service will violate Facebook's terms of service, which include provisions against stealing other people's identities, but not creating fictional ones.

However Ms Bendall said she hoped it would shut the profiles down and had done so in the past.

This is just pathetic. Even I can get women on the internet. If you're willing to sign up for a service like this, you may as well just go buy yourself a RealDoll.

FUCK YOU DIBS ON DRACO MALFOY


Wait, do they have to be realistic? :[

Sakurelf wrote:

FUCK YOU DIBS ON DRACO MALFOY

Oh gods, that's even sadder.

Sakurelf wrote:

FUCK YOU DIBS ON DRACO MALFOY


Wait, do they have to be realistic? :[

I PAID FOR HIM FIRST YOU WHORE!

I'm friends with various Dean Winchesters on both Facebook and Twitter. Does that count? Not in a relationship with any of them.

Okay...show of hands. Who here saw the name of that and thought of either Tifa or Aeris?

Admit it...at least one of you did. *points dramatically* ADMIT IT!!!

Anyways...I saw this on The Escapist, and I'll say here what I said there. What kind of empty shell of what can barely pass as a human being NEEDS this?!?

I wonder if Sephiroth Boyfriend will be the bishonen counterpart to this service.

Lapin wrote:

Sakurelf wrote:

FUCK YOU DIBS ON DRACO MALFOY


Wait, do they have to be realistic? :[

I PAID FOR HIM FIRST YOU WHORE!

FFFFFFFFFFFF

This concepts sounds like something Chris-Chan would invent.

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I totally came in here thinking someone was trying to set up a real life version of the Companion's Guild from Firefly. Other than that, don't think it's causing anyone any harm if they want to look better by getting someone to pretend to be their Facebook SO...

Nihilist wrote:

Iunno I'm in an actual relationship and shit. Can see the appeal but it's not for me.

"Baby, you don't understand. I'm not cheating! It's just a fictional relationship I payed for to impress people who don't know me very well!"

Seule wrote:

Chris91 wrote:

This concepts sounds like something Chris-Chan would invent.

STOP FUCKING RELATING EVERYTHING TO CHRIS FUCKING CHAN YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE MAN

EVERY OTHER FUCKING POST IT'S "THIS IS LIKE X CHRIS CHAN BLAH BLAH BLAH

JUST GO AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY


i'm sorry but i'm in a bad mood and it's annoying :c

Well, in all fairness, it is like something Chris-chan would invent...

And besides, at least Chris91's post didn't contain the phrase "weapons-grade fail". Sorry, Chris, but that phrase was played out a long while back.

Chris91 wrote:

This concepts sounds like something Chris-Chan would invent.

Wrong again, idiot.

This is more up JoshCube's alley.

. . .I wonder if I could get one named Marin and sell it to him at an exorbitant markup.

Malganis wrote:

Well, in all fairness, it is like something Chris-chan would invent...

No, it is like something he might use. He quit drawing his comic so he's not going to invent anything.

Of course, he's not really putting any effort into anything at all now, so I don't think he'd fill out the fucking form.

GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Okay...show of hands. Who here saw the name of that and thought of either Tifa or Aeris?

Admit it...at least one of you did. *points dramatically* ADMIT IT!!!

Anyways...I saw this on The Escapist, and I'll say here what I said there. What kind of empty shell of what can barely pass as a human being NEEDS this?!?

Someone who gets bullied by class or work mates for not having a partner? And thinks that a service that offers an imaginary S.O. might shut them up for a while? Or someone who doesn't want their sexuality to be widely known for their own reasons, and thinks a fake relationship might throw them off the scent? No one said it was a good idea; just an idea.

I dunno.

Sorry, that question was probably rhetorical.

How many people will actually fall for this?

"I'M NOT LONELY! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!

...

that no one ever sees."

Yes, why admit you're bad at finding a significant other and actually try to fix the problem (considering that you actually want a girlfriend/boyfriend) when you can... y'know.... do that?

Edit: Someone needs to send this to the Love-Shy guys.

Is being single so terrible that people would rather have a fake SO than none at all? I guess I'm a freak since I don't desperately yearn and wish for a boyfriend.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Someone needs to send this to the Love-Shy guys.

Nah, they wouldn't be interested unless there were actual girls willing to open their legs for them.

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GamemasterAnthony wrote:

Okay...show of hands. Who here saw the name of that and thought of either Tifa or Aeris?

"My girlfriend is a badly pixelated corpse! I should have gone with Tifa!"

Hey, now Link's Queen can finally have Link! Oooh, I wonder if there will be a cat-fight over Snape by people like Snape's Wives.

Dr. Quinzel wrote:

Is being single so terrible that people would rather have a fake SO than none at all? I guess I'm a freak since I don't desperately yearn and wish for a boyfriend.

That's kind've how I felt. I'm not in a relationship because I'm not INTERESTED in being in a relationship. Why is that concept so hard to grasp?

On the other hand, I can remember when having a boyfriend was so important I actually invented an imaginary one to get people off my back. Mind you, I was in 8th grade at the time, and really suspectable to peer pressure...

Chris91 wrote:

This concepts sounds like something Chris-Chan would invent.

Naah. He's too stupid and not motivated enough to invent something like that. And even if he came up with the idea, it would be like Obamacare: poorly implemented, shockingly underfunded and terribly unpopular. He wouldn't use it, either, because he's such a perfect human being and would never stoop to such immoral lows.

Seule wrote:

STOP FUCKING RELATING EVERYTHING TO CHRIS FUCKING CHAN YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE MAN

EVERY OTHER FUCKING POST IT'S "THIS IS LIKE X CHRIS CHAN BLAH BLAH BLAH

JUST GO AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY

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SisterGrimm wrote:

I totally came in here thinking someone was trying to set up a real life version of the Companion's Guild from Firefly.

Hot geisha bodyguards? Do want.

I just re-read the original article, and it would seem the 'service' is intended only for straight guys since they keep mentioning the phrase 'Cloud girlfriend' over and over.

So that leaves out straight women, gay men, lesbians, any of the trans folk...congratulations, Facebook! You're well on your way to alienating what probably constitutes at least HALF of your constituancy!

Well played, sir! Well played!