2 Men Accused Of Using Snake In Sexual Assault

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A criminal complaint said the woman told police she was knocked out in the bedroom of Jones' home on Nov. 11, and, when she regained consciousness, Jones was holding her while Bullock assaulted her.

Terrible, but pretty standard in terms of how these things go.

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She said Jones then got his snake and used it to assault her, according to the complaint.

That's newer. But I mean, did he sic the snake on her? Did he use it as a whip? What does that even mean, assaulted with a snake?

Well, ok, maybe CBS local will tell me how.

Oh, wait no.

What about ABC? Another useless sound byte.

Ooooor this not entirely reputable looking site, Jezebel.com?

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The most horrifying sentence you may ever read: "The woman felt something inside of her. She believed the snake may have bitten her because she felt a very sharp pain and then they said, ‘Pull it out.'"

Ooook, that's promising. Agonizing to read, but promising.

Sure enough, a link to the Smoking Gun's article on the event lets us actuallly know the details of the situation including a Link to the formal complaint. Fabulous.

There's no actual way to copy paste, but my fave part of this whole bit is that the friend (Sophie) that brought the assaulted girl (C.L.F.) to her boyfriend's (Damonta [lulz]) house where she was "sexually assaulted" (raped is too hot of a word I guess, i'm sure Spotts and Cy will have it out over that) got angry with her, saying she was sleeping with "her man". I guess only man stealing hos black out and end up getting penetrated by a snake.

How fantastic. On that note I sleep. What a world I shall wake to.

I'm reminded of the story about Maria Sharapova and motherfucking snakes on her motherfucking tennis court. I wonder if I can find it.

I originally stumbled across the Smoking Gun link and almost posted this. Then I figured we'd get the usual wank about how it wasn't really rape because the snake didn't know what it was doing, etc.

That said, I knew there was a reason I don't like snakes (if it's possible for your in sides to cringe, mine did when she said that it BIT her).

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Bullock said the sexual contact was consensual, according to the complaint.

Did anyone ask the snake's opinion?

Lady Anne wrote:

Quote :

Bullock said the sexual contact was consensual, according to the complaint.

Did anyone ask the snake's opinion?

Call PETA! The snake is being exploited!

Jesus. wrote:

Ooooor this not entirely reputable looking site, Jezebel.com?

Jezebel's one of the Gawker sites, like io9, Gizmodo, and Kotaku.

Drabbler wrote:

Jesus. wrote:

Ooooor this not entirely reputable looking site, Jezebel.com?

Jezebel's one of the Gawker sites, like io9, Gizmodo, and Kotaku.

I have no idea what those are either, but I'm going to assume that means it's more reputable and useful than I think it is.