Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.

I don't know if this is real. I do not care.

Excerpted here:

Spoiler:

Essentially,

Quote :

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

Like my nana always said, "If you go into a fish shop and it smells like unwashed woma-"

...wait a sec.

Quote :

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Dang. It's been that long, girl?

Quote :

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down.

Tuned out with her poon out.

There's a typo in the document, and it's bothering me.

She "waived" the knife.

If one waives a knife, surely the threat is over?

When people need a hazmat suit to approach your genitals, the threat is never over.

I'm with Jesus on this; I don't care if it's real, it's still one of the funniest things I've ever read.