You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten!

Yes, that's right, a Chef Gordon Ramsay crossover with Yu-Gi-Oh. Why I looked this up I may never know, but for some reason (possibly from taping so many Kitchen Nightmares on the BBC) I thought, "hey, I wonder if there's fanfic of Gordon Ramsay. I bet there's a rule 34..." LO AND BEHOLD--the first story I found under Google. Not only is it a rule 34, but also a crossover which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever...and I don't even know Yu-Gi-Oh.

Hell's Kitchen: Chef Gordon Ramsay is dating Seto Kaiba who is madley in love with our chef from hell.Seto would do anything for ramsey even learn how to cook.Ramsay invites Seto on the show where he and is brother are served. more on my profile

And such an original title too! And look, he spells Ramsay two different ways (or she? I guess my default with this author is he but I've no idea really) in the description. Also, "Ramsay invites Set on the show where he and is brother are served". *snicker* I keep seeing TO SERVE MAN flashing for some reason.

Quote :: A day in Hell's kitchen:

"You are all so pathetic!" Chef Ramsay yelled "We got 5 plates sent back becouse you people have your heads up your asses!

Just five? And Gordon seems to be in character... so far. No F-bombs yet though.

Quote :: Becouse of this,

Cous-cous?

Quote :: Heading home:

This author... so descriptive.

Quote :: When Chef Ramsay headed home, he decided to pay his boyfriend a surprise visit.

"SURPRISE! BUTTSECKS!"

Quote :: When he pulled into the drive way he saw that Seto's light was on in his room 'perfect' he thought as he walked inside his lovers mansion. Ramsay walked into his boyfriend room where he noticed Seto was doing his homework.

And then gordon said i love you and then seto said i love you to and then they kissed and gordon said would you be my boyfren? sur! i would love to be your boyfren...

Seriously, it's almost like the male laura.

Quote :: "AHHHHHH!" Seto yelled as he fell off his bed "Ow, who" He got up only to see the eyes of his lover.

Does he have very many strange guys parading through his mansion and "SURPRISE BUTTSECKS"ing him?

Quote :: "Hey Seto" Gordon said returning Seto's hug. "Why are you doinfg your homework? I thought you finished it at school."

"Well i normally do finish it at school, but i was called into a meeting. actualy i just got home not long before you did"

This is such a riveting conversation.

Quote :: "Oh well do u need help?"

"Are you kidding? Calcalus is like addition, its soooo easy. But thanks"

Jesus Christ, now I feel like an idiot for failing to get a C in Calc II because it's like addition, its soooo easy!

Quote :: "Haha yeah you are pretty smart. So did you eat tonight?"

"No I didnt have time to eat."

"Good then i can make you something."

"GREAT! i love your cooking!"

"You'll love my secret sauce then."

Quote :: "Haha well why dont you hurry and finish your homework and ill go cook us dinner." Ramsay said he placed a kiss on his lover's lips and left the room. Leaving Seto to finish his work.

Haha, why don't you hurry and commit seppeku? Also, sentence fragment to wrap it up. AH! What a scintillating chapter! What a look into the lives of these two lovers!

*pinches the bridge of her nose* I wish I could say it got better. Evidently the chapter entitled "dolphins" has a sex scene. Why dolphins...no, no. I don't want to know.

OH....DEAR...GOD IN HEAVEN. Shocked

I think my brain just broke. pale

Sporkbender Join date : 2010-04-19 Location : England

Quote :: "oh yea baby you are hot as hell!" He said as he roamed his hands over Seto's body
"Oh yea yes hnmmmmmmmmm" Seto moaned as Gordon's hand traveled to his erect member "Baby please i need to taste you please" He moaned.

Well... that was quite a transition from boring prose to AWFUL SEX SCENE Shocked

This also squicks me because, well, I don't know a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh, but how old is Kaiba? High school age? He's doing HOMEWORK. A 43 year old man walking into his house all, "Hey baby, why don't you lay aside that homework and have a lay with ME instead?" is frankly pretty creepy.

"Creepy" is too mild a word. Shocked

I, can I have some soap, I need to sanitize my eyes from this mess.

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

Having watched 'Hell's Kitchen,' there are many things I would've accused Gordon Ramsey of being. A wanker, a sadist, a bully, the sort of man who'd pull wings off flies just to watch them struggle-the list goes on and on. Now I have to redo the whole thing and add 'pedophile.'

Join date : 2010-10-13 Location : USA

Oddly enough, I make mistakes in addition at about the same rate as I make mistakes in calculus. There's just something annoyingly slippery about random addition facts that doesn't have the logical consistency of calculus.

I don't want to know about the dolphins either... You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 886522

You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 886522

There is... Hell's Kitchen fanfic. This. This I did not expect. But somehow, in my heart of hearts, I knew that if it did, it would be a godawful cross-over with something fucktarded. I was right.

WHY MUST I BE RIGHT?!

Srsly, though, the image of Ramsey's face if he ever saw this? Priceless. As would be the 20 minute string of curse words. <3

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

rae wrote:: There is... Hell's Kitchen fanfic. This. This I did not expect. But somehow, in my heart of hearts, I knew that if it did, it would be a godawful cross-over with something fucktarded. I was right.

WHY MUST I BE RIGHT?!

Srsly, though, the image of Ramsey's face if he ever saw this? Priceless. As would be the 20 minute string of curse words. <3

So I suppose I should refrain from telling you there's Mythbuster's fanfic as well? Almost all of it slash?

You do not know the meaning of pain till you've seen Adam Savage reduced to a weepy uke.

I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

Contributor Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 47

rae wrote:: I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

There is now, dammit. You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 309696

myeerah wrote:

rae wrote:: I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

There is now, dammit. You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 309696

At least it's not E.T. / Yoda porn. Which I haven't actually seen yet. So far as I can tell, it doesn't yet exist, though I have mentioned it several times. I'm actually a little shocked, what with E.T.'s magic finger and extenda-head.

God dammit, don't curse that into existence! Angry

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

rae wrote:: I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

Please stop. Now I'm having visions of Bobby Flay and Guy Fiere doing things I really don't want to imagine them doing. Shocked

Join date : 2009-12-01

GOrdon Ramsay slash? OH how dreadful.

Rabid Badger wrote:

rae wrote:: I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

Please stop. Now I'm having visions of Bobby Flay and Guy Fiere doing things I really don't want to imagine them doing. Shocked

Don't be silly: Everybody knows Flay/Morimoto = OTP.

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

Freezer wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

rae wrote:: I've seen Mythbuster fic, and sort of expected it. I just didn't expect it from a cooking show. I suppose this means there is, somewhere out there, slash of the Galloping Chef and Alton Brown.

Please stop. Now I'm having visions of Bobby Flay and Guy Fiere doing things I really don't want to imagine them doing. Shocked

Don't be silly: Everybody knows Flay/Morimoto = OTP.

You know, somehow, that makes an odd kind of sense (though I'm not sure you could find a room big enough to accommodate both them AND their egos).

So who do we hook Guy up with? Poor man needs someone to love him.

Technobrat wrote:: GOrdon Ramsay slash? OH how dreadful.

Reading this, why do I get the impression that someone, somewhere, is considering writing a slashfic (crossover or not) involving either Nigella Lawson or Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall... You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 724940

You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 724940

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

Technobrat wrote:: GOrdon Ramsay slash? OH how dreadful.

Reading this, why do I get the impression that someone, somewhere, is considering writing a slashfic (crossover or not) involving either Nigella Lawson or Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall... You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 724940

Dammit, will you people stop giving them ideas!? I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to watch Iron Chef again!

On the other hand, Guy Fiere and Duff Keegan from 'Ace of Cakes' would make a cute couple (runs away to hide)

Rabid Badger wrote:

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

Technobrat wrote:: GOrdon Ramsay slash? OH how dreadful.

Reading this, why do I get the impression that someone, somewhere, is considering writing a slashfic (crossover or not) involving either Nigella Lawson or Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall... You call this a story? It's bloody awful! Look at it--it's rotten! 724940

Dammit, will you people stop giving them ideas!? I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to watch Iron Chef again!

On the other hand, Guy Fiere and Duff Keegan from 'Ace of Cakes' would make a cute couple (runs away to hide)

YOu're thinking to "Food Network" centric. You want a match for Guy: Adam Ritchman of Man V. Food

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

Freezer wrote:: YOu're thinking to "Food Network" centric. You want a match for Guy: Adam Ritchman of Man V. Food

(riffles through the internet looking at articles and pictures) By God, you're right. I obviously need to broaden my food show horizons.

If you get the Travel Channel, you really do need to check out Man V Food and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmer.

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

Freezer wrote:: If you get the Travel Channel, you really do need to check out Man V Food and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmer.

I know we get the Travel Channel, because I've stumbled across 'Bizarre Foods' a couple of times while channel surfing. I wasn't aware they had other food-related shows, though. Thanks for the heads-up, Freezer.

Contributor Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 47

I like Man V Food sometimes, because the guy really enjoys what he's eating, but I don't so much dig on the challenges. Spicy food challenge? Cool. Massive quantity challenge? Ugh. The milkshake one was particularly disgusting.

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