Belle of the Ball until Dawn Comes: A My Little Pony Fanfiction (NWS)

Hi everyone, I'm Nicho and I've been lurking for a little bit and decided to finally contribute.

My first snark, and I think I may have picked something horrifically perfect for my first. I happened upon a story called 'Belle of the Ball Until Dawn Comes', and it is a (I kid you not) My Little Pony fanfiction.

Onto the snark!


I'd like to point out that this story isn't necessarily badly written, but does however had an odd subject matter and contains some things that really... really don't make sense.

Let's start with the disclaimer, it makes me wonder about this person.

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Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony, nor do I own the book "Belle of the Ball" from which this story is based upon and expanded on. Though I am a Proud Pony Fan of G1s and G3s alike and related Pony paraphenelia. However, Hasbro owns all properties and rights to My Little Pony, and related. Pony People Unite! (Sadly, there isn't a Toys and/or Children's Books section on this site-YET-***HINT, HINT*** so I listed it as 'Original' and 'Other'.)

Oh great, so it's a fanfiction of what is essentially a fanfiction for toys. The word 'paraphernalia' next to the word 'pony' makes me feel dirty. Ew, why couldn't she have used the word merchandise?
Well, not to knock anyone's hobby but on her profile she claims to have been born in 1982 which would make her 28... 23 when this was written. She's way off the spectrum of intended audience for these so called 'ponies'.

I'd also like to point out the 'yet' after her lament of the lack of a Toys and/or Children's book section... Who the fuck else writes this shit that that would be necessary? Is it these 'Pony People' she mentioned? When I think of My Little Pony I think of erotic rainbow pony sex for sure. Jesus fuck, this is why we can't have nice things.

Anyway, the story itself starts off rather mundane.

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The ponies were all excited about the night's upcoming Friendship Ball. An event they held yearly to determine who deserved the title of "Best Friend of the Year". This year was sure to be a blast! All the ponies were getting ready and making last minute preparations. 

Yeah, pretty boring. I'm just going to assume so far that this is normal pony behavior.

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Toola Roola was busy painting a sign that would say "Welcome to the Best Friends Ball".

What? How can a pony paint? Don't they like... have no fingers? God damn it.

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Skywishes left the Celebration Castle, to go visit her absolute best friend, Twinkle Twirl... Trotting along the way happily, carrying her favourite kite. How she loved to fly kites... especially when Twinkle could join her and fly the kite together.

PONY, HOW YOU FLY KITE?
:

Ok, maybe I'm overreacting, but seriously. Try to imagine that. I dare you. How would that thing do it? It's a plastic mini horse, it is probably pink with a rainbow on it's ass.

This 'Skywishes' character isn't even the main character of this story...
That would be Twinkle Twirl.

Moving on...
Later, after Twinkle Twirl gives up all her time and things for other ponies...

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Twinkle Twirl looked up to the stars... Skywishes' kite was flying in the clouds.

GOD DAMN IT.

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"A wishing star!" she cried out excitedly. "I wish I had a crown and a necklace to wear for the Friendship Ball tonight! Then I could go to the ball and look pretty!"

"Your wishes will come true" said a pretty pony. He had colourful butterflies all around him. "My name is Star Catcher." 

I'm assuming the word 'catcher' is in there for a reason.

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"Wow!" Its a BOY pony! My how well hung he is...I've never seen a boy before. Twinkle Twirl thought. "You are a real pegasus pony...Wow!" He's a BOY! He's so cute... Twinkle Twirl felt a warm fuzzy feeling in her and a slight tingling in her girl parts.

If you've never seen a boy before, how do you have a point of reference for how well 'hung' he is. And shit, do they just let them hang out all over the place? Ew.
I'm not sure what 'girl parts' are being referenced to here, and I'm not entirely sure that the tingling is a good sign either.

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Star Catcher and his magic butterflies placed a new crown on Twinkle Twirl's head. It was golden with a star in the center and two hearts and a fancy swirl (like this:~) framing the star.

I'm seriously wondering how these ponies can do anything. I mean, how can they put a crown on another pony's head if they have stumps with limited movement. How the hell did the butterflies get the crown up there? I don't care if they're magic, Crown>Butterfly.
Why didn't you just say “Fancy swirl”, why was the “~” necessary?

Star Catcher tells Twinkle Twirl to get the fuck out, so she leaves and goes to the castle.
She makes a so-called 'grand' entrance, but not one to be trumped Star Catcher...

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...flew in through an open balcony window...

Great job being nonchalant, asshole.

All the other ponies find dates with other boy ponies that have suddenly showed up out of nowhere.

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They all waited in antici...pation of the pony who would be friend of the year. 

Wait, wat. Is this a Rocky Horror reference?

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"This year's Friend of the Year is.... TWINKLE TWIRL!" Rainbow Dash announced to everyone.

Holy shit, did not expect this. /sarcasm

Anyway, onto the smut which suddenly happens.

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 As he stole another kiss upon her lips and nuzzled her cheek, and down her neck.. nibbling on her neck a little even as he brushed his hoof against her leg, feeling her shiver.

Ow

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"No need to worry, I'm experienced in what I'm doing... I will not hurt you Mi'lady..." 

Oh shut up, you're only experienced in the part she's about to experience.

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He began to massage her neck muscles softly... allowing her to loosen up as he went along. "How does it feel?" He queried.

“OW. FUCK. OW You're stomping on my neck!”

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"Heavenly..." Twinkle almost purred, except that ponies don't purr.

There's a lot that ponies don't do, but that doesn't fucking matter to you.

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Gradually, he returned to kissing her and nibbling her neck and back as she gasped softly. He gradually brushed himself over her as she whinnied softly, and he could tell she enjoyed his presence and the feel of him brushing against her. "My sweet..." He breathed into her ear, "my sweet Twinkle Twirl..."

Brushed himself over her what?
Oh. Oh no.

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Twinkle Twirl had closed her eyes, lost to the feelings stirring in her that this... Stud aroused in her. "Star Catcher..." She whispered. "Oh... Star Catcher..." She shivered as he brushed against her, feeling a tingling in her body. She wanted him... needed him near her... "Stay with me tonight..." She breathed.

Oh, yeah. He's such a stud.

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Their brushing and nibbling one another getting rougher gradually until Star pounced on top of Twinkle and lightly butted his hindquarters against her rear. His rubbing got to be a bit more sexual, as he started to position himself at her opening. His shaft still rubbing its length against her.

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She tensed a little, never having had a boy pony before. Like most of the ponies, she had messed around with the girls, but there were no boys around Ponyville to play with.

Ponyville sounds an awful lot like an all girls catholic school. Hmm... Which would explain a lot.

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...Star Catcher positioned himself and worked his way slowly into Twinkle Twirl... nibbling on her neck as he eased himself in......
….Twinkle breathed softly, taking deep breaths, her eyes still closed as she relaxed and began to thrust back in rythem with him....

This sounds like a really bad romance novel... If it was a really bad romance novel about a children's toy.

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 Star whispered as he thrust into her, increasing his speed gradually. Working his rythem of thrusts... in and out, in and out, in and out, harder... faster... Until he was taking her with all his thought.

For some reason, something a bout this just doesn't seem right to me.

The sex in this is really boring, flat and repetitive...
However, there is one line that will be forever burned into my memory...

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"STAR CATCHER.... YOU STALLION!!!!"

AHAHAHA...
OH, HAHA. HA.
This is now an in-joke between several friends and myself.

After their sex, Twinkle Twirl goes to sleep and Star Catcher fucks off.



This story has not helped my fear of horses at all.

Oh well.

Good snark. I will say, though, that canonically, Ponies can do things like paint, etc. How, I don't know--they just can (I was a huge fan of My Little Pony when I was a kid--and I loved the cartoon).

Edit: No, I didn't write this story. Fanfic was one thing that never occurred to me when I was a My Little Pony fan--I grew up in the pre-Internet days.

Lady Anne wrote:

Good snark. I will say, though, that canonically, Ponies can do things like paint, etc. How, I don't know--they just can (I was a huge fan of My Little Pony when I was a kid--and I loved the cartoon).

Edit: No, I didn't write this story. Fanfic was one thing that never occurred to me when I was a My Little Pony fan--I grew up in the pre-Internet days.

Haha, thanks.
I don't really know anything about the canon of My Little Pony, having never grown up around them. I just had an odd visual of a pony trying to grip a paintbrush or a kite string with their hooves. Then again, they're also pink and blue so it's not as if the rules of reality entirely apply.

MY EYES!!!!! WHY DID I READ THIS!!!!

In the show, I think they used to show ponies holding things with their mouths (insert joke here), so I would buy that a pony could paint a sign. Not well, mind, but...

Also, I thought I remembered there being male ponies in the show, and I looked up a cast list, and there's many males listed. So this girl obviously does not love My Little Pony as much as she claims to.

(I really wish I did not remember all this information about a show as embarrassing as My Little Pony. Gawd, self.)

Awesome snark, btw.

your mom wrote:

MY EYES!!!!! WHY DID I READ THIS!!!!

In the show, I think they used to show ponies holding things with their mouths (insert joke here), so I would buy that a pony could paint a sign. Not well, mind, but...

Also, I thought I remembered there being male ponies in the show, and I looked up a cast list, and there's many males listed. So this girl obviously does not love My Little Pony as much as she claims to.

(I really wish I did not remember all this information about a show as embarrassing as My Little Pony. Gawd, self.)

Awesome snark, btw.

Yeah. It is pretty eye-burning, but there was a warning... However no warning could sufficiently cover this unfortunately.

They must be pretty skilled with their mouths (insert cock joke here) after using them so much.

There's no telling what kind of hell this story came out of, so there's no telling how knowledge of the show is contained within it.

Thanks :D

NichoMas wrote:

Yeah. It is pretty eye-burning, but there was a warning... However no warning could sufficiently cover this unfortunately.

Oh, don't worry, I don't hold you responsible, I hold the author of this monstrosity responsible for what they did to my brain. As bad as it is, I think I have actually read worse... I have this site to thank. I must truly hate myself to sit here and read these.

your mom wrote:

Oh, don't worry, I don't hold you responsible, I hold the author of this monstrosity responsible for what they did to my brain. As bad as it is, I think I have actually read worse... I have this site to thank. I must truly hate myself to sit here and read these.

There's a lot of bad out there, unfortunately I go out and look for it.. and then regret it. I'd like to snark Jesus and Hitler: A Romance, but there's a whole lot of wrong with that.

My little porny,
My little porny,
I comb and brush her hair,
My little porny, my little porny,
Stomp on your neck to show how much I care...

...

Sheba wrote:

My little porny,
My little porny,
I comb and brush her hair,
My little porny, my little porny,
Stomp on your neck to show how much I care...

...

Hahaha.. haha... aww ):

That's a good one.

your mom wrote:

Also, I thought I remembered there being male ponies in the show, and I looked up a cast list, and there's many males listed. So this girl obviously does not love My Little Pony as much as she claims to.

I recall the male ponies not living in the same... uh... village as the girls. Like, I seem to recall them roaming around for some reason and only popping by occasionally. Maybe that was only true for a few episodes, idk.

Guys, is it me, or have we seen this fic before?

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

your mom wrote:

Also, I thought I remembered there being male ponies in the show, and I looked up a cast list, and there's many males listed. So this girl obviously does not love My Little Pony as much as she claims to.

I recall the male ponies not living in the same... uh... village as the girls. Like, I seem to recall them roaming around for some reason and only popping by occasionally. Maybe that was only true for a few episodes, idk.

They only showed up in a few episodes. There was some song about the Big Brother Ponies coming to town or to visit or something.

That memory just added a whole new layer of squick.

InkWeaver wrote:

Guys, is it me, or have we seen this fic before?

I know I remember the fic, but I do not specifically remember it being snarked. It might have been though.

Lady Anne wrote:

They only showed up in a few episodes. There was some song about the Big Brother Ponies coming to town or to visit or something.

Glad to know I am not just making shit up again ^.^;

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They all waited in antici...pation

A RHPS joke in a MLP porn fic? Um. OK, since I felt compelled to show up out of nowhere to make that comment, I suppose I'll add a pic to make it worthwhile. Fortunately, I was able to dig up something appropriate.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

You're welcome. More pics here.

Also, this story is now in a "My Little Pony" section under cartoons all by itself. How sad.

I'm also pretty sure this story came up before.

Yeah, I'm sure we've had this one done years ago.

Also, nice picture.

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They all waited in antici...pation of the pony who would be friend of the year.

Wait, wat. Is this a Rocky Horror reference?

Aaaaaaaand I'm gonna go ahead and call it a trollfic for that.

That doesn't make the memories any less special!

We have seen this before. I think it was snarked back on GAFF, so it's been a looooong time, now, and the original is likely lost to the aethers.

Also, good snark!