Two Sues?!

Hello everyone! Happenstance here with another freaky piece of literature from the Doctor Who fandom!
And it's...well...it's...special. It's like what My Immortal would be like with correct grammar and a TARDIS. If that appeals to you or disgusts you, read on! :D

And now, fellow snarkers, I present to you: The Doctor's Assistant by TvObsessed09 on the Pit.

Before we kick off, let me get something out of the way here. This story is made all the more sad because apparently the author has some knowledge of how to write. All the grammar is correct that I can tell, and there is vague attempt at a plot and some (lame) character development. But the story is still, like I said above, creepily like a knock-off of My Immortal. Allons-y...

It kicks off with about two paragraphs that could easily have been summed up by one sentence: "It was a dark and stormy night." Then, because the author's talented like that, we get a description of the Sue's very Plain-Jane clothing. And then the phone rings.

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The phone rings and I answer it immediately. "Riley residence," I state into it.
"Olivia, my dear, how are you this evening?" my grandfather asks, his voice making me smile.
"I'm good grandpa. It's storming here and sickly hot but what else is new?" I ask sarcastically and I can almost feel his smile. "So, how's the battle with the Graden faring?" I attempt to change the subject to something safer – like the latest UNIT mission my grandfather is on.
Oh, derp. Plot development, her grandpa works for UNIT. Well, at least that earns the author a point for originality.
"Good, real good. I should be home within a couple days," He mentions. "You're not getting into trouble, being home alone now are you?"
"No grandpa," I say laughing, though it's not really that funny.

Ownt.

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Because of my species I should be out getting in fights, getting into trouble like all other Soldiers of Time but I'm not. It could be because I am the last besides my grandfather who is raising me. It could be because I am three quarters human and only a quarter Time Soldier. Either way, I'm not like him.

Houston, we have Sue.
What is this strange obsession with “X of Time” or “Time X”? Seriously, badfic writers think that just because Time Agents exist in the Whoniverse this gives them the right to make up any sort of political/military movement with the word “Time” in the name.

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"Why not? Are you sure you are my granddaughter," he asks teasingly, his British accent thicker than normal due to an adrenaline high he received from the battle.
"I know Grandpa, I know," I say, with a sigh. My grandfather is the last full blooded Soldier of Time and I am the only other Soldier of time in existence. I blink as I look around the lonely house.
Oh, that’s totally, you know, cool and all. It makes a lot of sense, too, that an alien would be on the UNIT front lines. You remember UNIT, that army that investigates aliens? Yeah, that one.
"Oh, I'm sorry Olivia, I didn't mean to make you upset," my grandfather says apologizing.

JESUS, GRANDPA, YOU’RE SO INSENSITIVE. BAAAW[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

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"It's okay Grandpa. I'm a big girl now; you don't need to tiptoe around the truth. I know I'm different than everyone including you," I tell him.

Wait, how…what…? Huh? I thought you said you were both “Soldiers of Time”…? We know you're speshul, dear, but there's no need to lie to yourself about how speshul.
Whatever. You’re just making yourself more of a Sue. Continue.

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"Honey," he begins but I cut him off, changing the subject back to something safe and civil.
"So, where are you fighting again?" I ask. I can hear his smirk emanating through the phone at me.
"Spain, Barcelona to be precise," My grandpa begins when I hear someone calling my grandpa's name in the background of the other end of the line. "Damn vultures. Five minutes on the phone. All I wanted was five minutes to talk to you but these damn apes won't let me have that much… why am I doing this again?"
I just roll my eyes while shaking my head. "You mean the fact you're protecting the human population and saving the lives of innocent people?"
"Where's the fun in that?" he asks and I scoff quietly to myself.
"For the thrill of the hunt and battle," I say and I hear him go ah on the other end of the line. I know I've hit the nail on the head this time. "Talk to you later Grandpa."
"Talk to you later Olive and happy eighteenth birthday," my grandpa says and my smile fades when I remember the date.

IT’S HER BIRTHDAY BUT NOBODY LOVES HER

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"Thanks," I say, trying to sound cheerily. "Love you." After that I hang up, not allowing time for my grandpa to respond. I forgot my own birthday – not that my birth is something worth celebrating anyways. It's the day both of my parents died, orphaning me.
Oh, poor you and your original plot devices.
For about an hour I sit there in the darkness, trying to figure out what to do to alleviate my boredom. I begin to realize I haven't eaten anything all day. Because of that I stand up. My muscles are tense from sitting in the same position for so long in this accursed heat.
Damn weather. It makes being emo so hard sometimes.
My feet maneuvered my way through this house without any thought. I grew up in this house, it will be mine once grandpa gets bored here which will be any day now. It will be my home until either time ends, I die, or humans leave the planet.

Or…until you decide to move or the house gets demolished to build a bypass. That too.

Then there's more thoughts of just how speshul and different from her grandpa she is. Then...

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I'm half-way across the kitchen when I sense an unfamiliar presence and spin to the backdoor.

MY SUE SENSE IS TINGLING!

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I find a man standing there. The man has slightly shaggy brown hair which is soaked from the rain. A tan tweed jacket he's wearing is just as soaked, like his blue jean pants and the black button up shirt. His eyes are sad and slightly red rimmed as if he's been crying.

I can’t tell which Doctor we’re supposed to be describing here. Most of me wants to say Ten, but the clothing style sounds more like Eleven. Maybe it’s some weird new hybrid. >.>

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"Who are you?" I demand while I lean as far back against the counter as I can, taking stock in my peripheral vision of where all the weapons are in case I need them. "What are you doing here and how did you get in?"
"My name is the Doctor," he says, his voice choking slightly. It sounds rough like a man's in grief.

Well…he’s crying, so yeah.

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"I am a Time-Lord, from the Planet Gallifrey." I freeze. In the past the Time-Lords and Soldiers of Time hated each other.

More Sue behavior, ftw. Notice the lack of shock at the fact that the one remaining Time Lord (or "Time-Lord") in existence is standing in her kitchen.

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There had even been a war at one point between our two people.

Oh, come on. That’s so tired. Everyone’s fought the Time Lords at some point. No, seriously.

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His had been intellectual dimwits while mine were blockheaded soldiers. "I… I, how old are you?"

How can one be an intellectual dimwit? I get the point she’s trying to make, but still.

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"Eighteen," I say, caught off guard by this man with an obvious British accent which is more defined than that of my grandfather. He's a time-lord yet he is speaking to me civilly as if he's been doing it for years.
"Good, good. I got the year right, now did I get the date right. Is today your birthday?" he asks. I just nod at him stunned. How does this man know so much about me to know today was my eighteenth birthday?
"How do you know that?" I ask and he chuckles. As he does I get the feeling that it's the first time in a long while. For some reason I can't help, despite my natural inclinations and instincts, I find myself wanting to ease his pain, his despair.

You’re the Sue, it comes naturally.

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"One day, not too far from now, when you are twenty, I will come up to you wearing a different face.

Ah, yes. So…it is Eleven? I think? Either way, it’s creepy.

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You and I will eventually be friends. You will join me on my travels. Together we'll save worlds, stop tyrants, help people who need it, and do a lot of running, a god awful amount of running. We will travel in my TARDIS which I have parked just a few feet down the path," the Doctor says turning slightly. He turns just enough that I notice a little jewelry box with a bow sticking out of his pocket.

“You will become more of the Sue.”

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"Is that a present?" I ask a little startled.

“NEVER MIND THAT, WHAT’D YOU BRING ME?!”

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No one's bought me a birthday present since I was five-years-old and all my friends realized how big of a freak I was.

Oh, poor Sue. Nobody loves her and she’s all alone in the world until the Doctor shows up. This has never been done before in the history of television, let alone this show.

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"Yeah, it is," he states pulling it out of his pocket. "What kind of a best friend would I be if I didn't get you a birthday present?"

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"Best friend?" I ask startled by his words. I've never had a best friend. What does a best friend do?

:

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"Of Course Olivia… I wouldn't let just anyone travel with me,"

Badfic authors think you would.

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he says with a genuine smile. With that he opens the jewelry box and it shows a cute little necklace. It looks like a simple heart made out of an ordinary piece of glass with a strange gem butterfly in the center. I love butterflies, but very few people know that. He must be someone I trusted dearly if I told him that.

AW, HOW SWEET. SHE TOLD HIM ABOUT HER BUTTERFLY FETISH AND HE GOT HER A BUTTERFLY NECKLACE. THAT IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE, I MIGHT JUST PUKE A RAINBOW OR SOMETHING.

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"What is that gem in the middle?" I ask and he glances down at it.
"That, my dear, is the last Gallifreyan Crystal.

“It doesn’t exist in canon, but y’know, the author figured ‘What the fuck? I’ll put it in.’”

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It gives off low levels of energy and will block me from sensing your background when we first meet," he says and I look at him in shock.

Cheap plot device is cheap and stupid.

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"Why would you want to do that?" I ask and he cocks his head to the side slightly.
"My dear, I am an arrogant, stubborn old fool.

Hey, the author got something right! However, it doesn’t sound like Eleven. More like Three, Five, or Seven.

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If I had sensed that you were a Time Soldier before I really got to know you then you would have never been permitted to travel with me. Like all of my kind we were taught to be blind and prejudice towards your people thanks to the actions of one generation. With this, I'll get to know you… not some preconceived idea," he tells me.
"Won't you be angry when you find out I hid the truth from you?" I ask and he smirks a huge mischievous smirk that says everything I need to know.
"Yeah, but I'll get over it – especially when you tell me that you hid it from me under my orders," He states and I cock my head to the side when I notice he seems slightly annoyed though I can't understand at what.

Cos the man with infinite enemies would totally believe that it was in fact his fault after he finds out his new “companion” has betrayed him.

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"I never told you all that we talked about tonight did I?" I ask and the irritation on his face echoes through his whole body. "I'll take that as a yes."
His eyes grow wide as he looks at me then he nods. He glances away just as I hear him mutter under his breath, "She always was able to read me like no one else." That's when I understand. For the first time, I understand the ulterior motive.

Uh…she’s in the room.

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"I'm dead, aren't I," I ask and he looks up with a guilty look. "I died, that's why you're here. To say your goodbyes to a memory, give me the tools I'll eventually need. I'm right aren't I?"

THE SUE DIES? THAT’S PRACTICALLY UNHEARD OF!

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"Yeah," he states while his shoulders slump slightly. "You are, like always."
"How… how did it happen? I won't change it and I won't tell you… I just want to know what to do when the time comes, to be prepared," I tell him and he looks up, tears in his eyes.

Doctor, if you tell her you’ll cross timelines and create a paradox that could rip parts of the universe in ha—

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"In well over two hundred years time – us having traveled from world to world fighting everything from slitheen to daleks to cybermen and beyond – you'll give your life protecting that of a five-year-old little girl named Penelope," the Doctor says… I notice something flash through his eyes but I can't read it like much about this mysterious man. "I'll reach you and her. The enemy will be approaching and your leg was stuck. You ordered me to take the girl to safety and leave. I promised I'd come back for you. I got the child out to safety, to her older brother who was just outside. I went back in after you but I wasn't fast enough. They'd already gotten there. You used the nearby computer to lock the room and ignited it, sacrificing yourself so that I and the siblings could survive."

Uh…okay, never mind.
I TAKE IT BACK. THE SUE DIES A MARTYR AND IS ABLE TO RETAIN HER POSITION IN THE MARY-SUE ARMY.

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"Sorry," I say. "That has to be hard. I'll travel with you a while though – longer than most I suppose."

“Oh. Well…yeah. I’m really sorry that I…uh…died and all.”
“Yeah, it was hard for me.”
“You okay? You need a tissue or something?”
“No…no, I think I’ll get over it.”

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"Yeah," he states with a smirk though there are still tears in his eyes. "You did. Most leave after a year or two but not you. You traveled by my side for well over two centuries.

…Um. What? That’s pretty much nearly canonically impossible, when you consider the amount of dangerous situations the Doctor gets into. Also, he’d probably have run out of regenerations two centuries in the future and died. So there’d be that. It’s kind of a downer.

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I couldn't have asked for more or had a better friend in all of time. The fact the UNIT allowed you to keep this house while we were off world and we both stayed here when back – me taking the spare bedroom – didn't hurt much.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

The Sue then begins to tease the Doctor with all her wit. Then he puts the necklace around her neck.

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I turn around and lift my damp hair off my neck. I feel his hands gently graze my flesh as he puts the cool metal around my neck with the gem hanging on the end. Once the chain is linked I feel him step away. For a moment I stand there fingering the little charm around my neck.
Then I begin to turn to face the Doctor with the feeling he's hiding something more from me. "Doctor…" I begin only to stop when I see the back door is open and he's gone.

Fail.

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Quick as I can I run outside into the pouring rain to see him in the doorway with a blue box. I think I hear a feminine voice from the inside of the TARDIS so I stop. The door closes behind the doctor and a moment later I hear this rumbling noise. I watch as the Doctor and the TARDIS disappear into the night – into space and time.
The rain runs down my body but I don't notice it. Instead my mind is only turned to the future – both my death and the life I'm going to live. I don't even mind the ending if my life is even half I imagine it to be.

MY PARENTS ARE DEEEAAADD!

And so ends the prologue. Yeah, you heard me, that wasn’t even a legitimate chapter. It’s gonna be a long haul, folks. I'm including the first chapter here as well because it's kind of short and doesn't deserve a separate post.

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Now… (The Doctor's Point of View)
I stand in the TARDIS, listening to time wax and wane around me. Time lines collapse while others are born and I stand there listening to it all. The man meant to stop it all – to either save or destroy. But I am alone.
No companions accompany me this time. Five months ago I was forced to leave Donna behind, erasing all the knowledge of what she and I went through.
Blah blah blah, typical Doctor!angst.
"Well, what should we do this time, old girl?" I asked the TARDIS while rubbing her gently.

>.>
Uh…are we interrupting something here?

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Many have noted this habit as odd but to me it's the most natural thing. Then again most can't understand the old girl the way I do either since they can't hear the time vortex.

What is it with badfic writers constantly referring to the TARDIS as the “old girl”? So the Doctor may have said it once or twice in the actual TV show, but mostly in Classic Who and definitely not every time he refers to the TARDIS.

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As if responding the TARDIS begins to move of its own accord, rather than remaining parked in space like I'd left her. I'm flung to the floor, due to shock. I barely have time to react before I'm thrown again, falling sideways.

WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME

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Then the TARDIS is falling through space. About the same time I was getting to the controls I felt the TARDIS thud to a landing on some strange planet with any number of threats.

Well…uh…I’d assume you be used to it by now. You know the whole “threatening planets” bit.

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Hurriedly I went to the monitors – determined to figure out where in the universe I had ended up. I discovered I was in the year 2010 on the North American Continent. To be specific I'm in the United States, the State of Iowa. The nearest 'big' city is Iowa City which is forty-five minutes. About fifteen minutes away is Muscatine – a mediocre sized city with a bunch of smaller 'farm' towns surrounding it.

I’m guessing this is where the author lives in real life.

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"What am I doing here?" I wonder aloud sensing another adventure on the horizon.

Ironically, I was just wondering the same thing.

Chapter one, done. Seven more to go, I believe. Ugh.

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his British accent thicker than normal

British accent
British accent

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

No such fucking thing as a BRITISH accent, any more than there is an AMERICAN accent. Stupid fantwat.
(Why does this light my fuse more than the rest of the stupidity of this story?)

Dixie wrote:

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his British accent thicker than normal

British accent
British accent

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

No such fucking thing as a BRITISH accent, any more than there is an AMERICAN accent. Stupid fantwat.
(Why does this light my fuse more than the rest of the stupidity of this story?)

Agreed... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Also how does the Doctor produce a granddaughter, given that He's effectively the Last Timelord, assuming that Gallifreyians can even sexually reproduce...?
(Jenny a/k/a "The Doctor's Daughter", was a genetically recombined lifeform, created by a technological artifact , & we do not know if she has any of The Doctor's abilities or lifespan...)
In theory, Susan is the Doctor's granddaughter, but he effectively abandoned her in the 2160's, at the end of Dalek Invasion of Earth by "locking her out of the TARDIS", & I do not believe that she would even share the time of day with him, given the above...

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

In theory, Susan is the Doctor's granddaughter, but he effectively abandoned her in the 2160's, at the end of Dalek Invasion of Earth by "locking her out of the TARDIS", & I do not believe that she would even share the time of day with him, given the above...

Susan seemed pretty okay with it by the time she met up with him again in "The Five Doctors". I guess enough time had passed from her perspective she was happy to see him (and more than one of him) after so long, instead of being mad about the way they parted.

Agreeing with what's been said above.

Also, Dixie, your sig made me giggle. :D

Trioculus wrote:

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

In theory, Susan is the Doctor's granddaughter, but he effectively abandoned her in the 2160's, at the end of Dalek Invasion of Earth by "locking her out of the TARDIS", & I do not believe that she would even share the time of day with him, given the above...

Susan seemed pretty okay with it by the time she met up with him again in "The Five Doctors". I guess enough time had passed from her perspective she was happy to see him (and more than one of him) after so long, instead of being mad about the way they parted.

Unfortunately, her memory was wiped at the end of the 5 Doctors, and depending if you find any of the Big Finish audio's canon, the 2009 8th Doctor/Susan story An Earthly Child (currently a subscriber-only release, but due for general release at the end of this year) has Susan reacting very angrily, to the 8th Doctor regarding his former self's treatment of her...

Just two Sues? I've seen fics with FOUR.

I allways thought of sues as male fighting fish. If there are more the one sue, they fight to the death. Something about the fact there is only so much " Special" to go around.

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

Unfortunately, her memory was wiped at the end of the 5 Doctors, and depending if you find any of the Big Finish audio's canon, the 2009 8th Doctor/Susan story An Earthly Child (currently a subscriber-only release, but due for general release at the end of this year) has Susan reacting very angrily, to the 8th Doctor regarding his former self's treatment of her...

Thanks. Wasn't aware of that one--I'm pretty much in the dark about anything that wasn't on TV, save for a few of the Marvek UK comics that Marvel US reprinted in the mid 80's.

It's a bit contradictory, though, isn't it? (Contradictions? In Doctor Who? Nooo... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ) I guess any future writer would be able to justify a postiive or negative reaction based on which story they preferred.

Hey Happenstance, thanks for this bit of unadulterated Suage.

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The phone rings and I answer it immediately. "Riley residence," I state into it.
"Olivia, my dear, how are you this evening?" my grandfather asks, his voice making me smile.
"I'm good grandpa. It's storming here and sickly hot but what else is new?" I ask sarcastically and I can almost feel his smile. "So, how's the battle with the Graden faring?" I attempt to change the subject to something safer – like the latest UNIT mission my grandfather is on.
Oh, derp. Plot development, her grandpa works for UNIT. Well, at least that earns the author a point for originality.
"Good, real good. I should be home within a couple days," He mentions. "You're not getting into trouble, being home alone now are you?"
"No grandpa," I say laughing, though it's not really that funny.

Ownt.

I hate it when authors are unable to let dialog just flow and insist on putting 'he said' 'I said' and all kinds of unnecessary varieties of the two after each and every sentence. They're talking! I get it!

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"Who are you?" I demand while I lean as far back against the counter as I can, taking stock in my peripheral vision of where all the weapons are in case I need them. "What are you doing here and how did you get in?"
"My name is the Doctor," he says, his voice choking slightly. It sounds rough like a man's in grief.

No. No, no, no, no! He NEVER EVER says his NAME is the Doctor. He always says 'I'm the Doctor," in a way that makes you feel stupid for asking, and ALSO in a way that makes you forget about asking whether he has a real name.

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"I am a Time-Lord, from the Planet Gallifrey." I freeze. In the past the Time-Lords and Soldiers of Time hated each other.

More Sue behavior, ftw. Notice the lack of shock at the fact that the one remaining Time Lord (or "Time-Lord") in existence is standing in her kitchen.

Eh, is it me, or has the Doctor NEVER FUCKING INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS BEING A TIMELORD EITHER? Jeez! He might mention it, at some part of traveling together with his new abductee traveling friend, but not in his bloody introduction.

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"Eighteen," I say, caught off guard by this man with an obvious British accent which is more defined than that of my grandfather. He's a time-lord yet he is speaking to me civilly as if he's been doing it for years.
"Good, good. I got the year right, now did I get the date right. Is today your birthday?" he asks. I just nod at him stunned. How does this man know so much about me to know today was my eighteenth birthday?
"How do you know that?" I ask and he chuckles. As he does I get the feeling that it's the first time in a long while. For some reason I can't help, despite my natural inclinations and instincts, I find myself wanting to ease his pain, his despair.

You’re the Sue, it comes naturally.

Is this Sue from America or something? WHy does she keep harping on the British accent if she's British herself? Does it say so, somewhere?


And so ends the prologue. Yeah, you heard me, that wasn’t even a legitimate chapter. It’s gonna be a long haul, folks. I'm including the first chapter here as well because it's kind of short and doesn't deserve a separate post.

Good god. MOre dreck.

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Hurriedly I went to the monitors – determined to figure out where in the universe I had ended up. I discovered I was in the year 2010 on the North American Continent. To be specific I'm in the United States, the State of Iowa. The nearest 'big' city is Iowa City which is forty-five minutes. About fifteen minutes away is Muscatine – a mediocre sized city with a bunch of smaller 'farm' towns surrounding it.

I’m guessing this is where the author lives in real life.
Ah, ok, she's American. Figures. And stick to your damned tenses, you stupid twit!

Chapter one, done. Seven more to go, I believe. Ugh. [/quote]

I don't know, I don't think I can see the Doctor entering some house all weepy and keeping up the weepiness. Ten was pretty angsty at times, but never blubbery. And he never took people with him who were so sorry for themselves. I imagine they would make really annoying companions.

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Hurriedly I went to the monitors – determined to figure out where in the universe I had ended up. I discovered I was in the year 2010 on the North American Continent. To be specific I'm in the United States, the State of Iowa. The nearest 'big' city is Iowa City which is forty-five minutes. About fifteen minutes away is Muscatine – a mediocre sized city with a bunch of smaller 'farm' towns surrounding it.

Iowa City also encompasses the cities of Coralville and University Heights, giving it a total population of 179,743, making it the fifth largest city in the State of Iowa.

It's the site of theThe University of Iowa School of Medicine, and the adjacent University Hospitals and Clinics, were one of the first heart transplants was done. The 'Hospital,' in fact, is divided into five different sections, and takes up roughly three city blocks.

Also, there is no such thing as a 'farm' town in Iowa. There are towns that are surrounded by farms, but we refer to them as small towns, not 'farm towns."

Trioculus wrote:

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

Unfortunately, her memory was wiped at the end of the 5 Doctors, and depending if you find any of the Big Finish audio's canon, the 2009 8th Doctor/Susan story An Earthly Child (currently a subscriber-only release, but due for general release at the end of this year) has Susan reacting very angrily, to the 8th Doctor regarding his former self's treatment of her...

Thanks. Wasn't aware of that one--I'm pretty much in the dark about anything that wasn't on TV, save for a few of the Marvel UK comics that Marvel US reprinted in the mid 80's.

It's a bit contradictory, though, isn't it? (Contradictions? In Doctor Who? Nooo... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ) I guess any future writer would be able to justify a postiive or negative reaction based on which story they preferred.

It's like "what/who exactly destroyed Atlantis...?" in Pertwee-era Doctor Who, that the blame for such event can either be tagged to Azal the Daemon (The Daemons), or Kronos the Kronovore (The Time Monster) ...

There has also been a argument over the years, in Who Fandom over just who (to coin the somewhat cliched pun) exactly Susan is...

With regards to Dixie's post, regarding "British Accent", there have been at least 2 Doctors that have spoke with Non "Home Counties" accents, namely the McCoy! Doctor that spoke with a distinctive Scottish Burr, & the Ecclestone! Doctor who spoke with a distinctive Mancunian accent...
(I'm not sure how much David Tennant or Paul McGann altered their accents, when playing the role of the Doctor, as Tennant is Scottish, while McGann hails from Liverpool, & such would normally speak with a Liverpudlian/Scouse accent...).