Loony Op-Eds

This was published in the op-ed section of my local newspaper this weekend, and I thought you all might get a chuckle out of it. I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, but I figured Catholics ranting about pop culture was probably its own subculture. But please move if it belongs somewhere else! I've quoted the letter in its entirety below and followed it with my half-assed snarking, but it's really more hilarious all on its own.

Quote :

Lady Gaga example of decaying culture

Lady Gaga is a repulsive image that all people of good will should strive to avoid.
Her most recent pornographic music video—which features highly sexualized
images coupled with Catholic religious symbols—betrays her as nothing more than
a mediocre, Madonna wannabe.

In the video she squirms around half-naked with half-naked guys while abusing
Catholic symbols. It is clear the singer has now become the new poster girl for
American decadence and Catholic bashing which she perversely fobs off to the
world as “creative art.”

When asked in a recent interview by Larry King if she was considering having
children some day she answered “not right now because it would destroy my
creativeness.”

She seems oblivious to the fact that there is nothing more creative for a woman
than to have a child. Sadly, fame, fortune and false idolatry have become the
heartbeat of American culture. These things seem more important to the masses
than life itself. But in the end they are all only illusions that will wither
and fade.

--Janine Colbert, Springfield

Quote :

Her most recent pornographic video...betrays her as nothing more than a mediocre, Madonna wannabe.

Really...out of everything else in her career, this video is what warrants a comparison to Madonna? Taking the easy route here, but what rock have you been living under?

Quote :

abusing Catholic symbols

Abusing Catholic symbols? Appropriating maybe, but certainly not abusing. I was expecting her to use a crucifix as a dildo or something. I'm a little disappointed.

Quote :

She seems oblivious to the fact that there is nothing more creative for a woman than to have a child.

That’s a fact? Really? Not, oh, fighting for their country, composing an opera or painting a masterpiece, or winning a Nobel prize, or leading their country? Nope, popping out a kid. Good to know my life goals are in order.

Quote :

Sadly, fame, fortune and false idolatry have become the heartbeat of American culture.

Have become? Again, what rock in the woods do you call a residence? Please crawl back under it until it's time for the next round of Catholic pop-culture bashing.

I LOLed at the 'abusing Catholic symbols' line. In case the writer hasn't noticed, almost ALL Christian religions consider the cross to be a religious symbol. I wasn't aware Catholicism had a lock on it.

IIRC, Madonna DID actually use a crucifix as a dildo in one of her stage shows when she was younger. Or maybe it was in that stupid book about sex she published. I read an online interview where, believe it or not, she was worried about the way her oldest daughter wanted to dress as being 'too revealing for a girl her age.' This from a woman who used to perform in her underwear.

If you insist on going around dressed like a dime a dance whore, you do not get to hold the moral high ground where your kids are concerned.

And actually, you'd think the author would be more relieved that Lady GaGa DOESN'T have any kids.

Owlish wrote:

Quote :

Her most recent pornographic video...betrays her as nothing more than a mediocre, Madonna wannabe.

Really...out of everything else in her career, this video is what warrants a comparison to Madonna? Taking the easy route here, but what rock have you been living under?

That video was a straight up Madonna ripoff in ways that her other ones hadn't been, though.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I LOLed at the 'abusing Catholic symbols' line. In case the writer hasn't noticed, almost ALL Christian religions consider the cross to be a religious symbol. I wasn't aware Catholicism had a lock on it.

IIRC, Madonna DID actually use a crucifix as a dildo in one of her stage shows when she was younger. Or maybe it was in that stupid book about sex she published. I read an online interview where, believe it or not, she was worried about the way her oldest daughter wanted to dress as being 'too revealing for a girl her age.' This from a woman who used to perform in her underwear.

If you insist on going around dressed like a dime a dance whore, you do not get to hold the moral high ground where your kids are concerned.

And actually, you'd think the author would be more relieved that Lady GaGa DOESN'T have any kids.

Not only all Christian religions, but the cross has a long history separate from Christianity. Christians have been ripping off other cultures for about... several centuries at least? But no one is allowed to misappropriate their misappopriated symbols, no way no how!

Really? All I know about Madonna is she is a walking contradiction. lol Logically, you would think that this writer wouldn't want children to be subjected to such influences, but seeing as having a child is one of the "most creative things a woman can do," the more damaged kids in the world the better? I don't know. lol

Bamshalam wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Quote :

Her most recent pornographic
video...betrays her as nothing more than a mediocre, Madonna
wannabe.

Really...out of everything else in her career, this
video is what warrants a comparison to Madonna? Taking the easy route
here, but what rock have you been living under?

That video
was a straight up Madonna ripoff in ways that her other ones hadn't
been, though.

Admittedly, I wouldn't know. lol I'll take your word for it. Somehow, I don't think this lady is really upset that Gaga's ripping off Madonna. Or I'm just confused. Madonna has the corner market on ripping off Catholic symbols or something? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


Edit: Does anyone know why my quotes come out all wonky? Does that happen to anyone else?

She admitted that this was a Madonna testament. She basically took Madonna and went a few steps ahead with it.

And you may be able to tell by my avatar this time around, but am I the only one who still likes her and her music and doesn't give a crap who she rips off?

Do you live in Calgary? I saw the same letter in my local paper and am now wondering if it was a form letter or something

Wow. Of all the genuine lunacy out there over legitimate political issues, the thing that prompted you to complain was a fundie being butthurt over Wugwuh's Official Pop Tart, Lady Gaga. And nothing she said was really all that far out there, even by fundie standards.

Wow.

GAGA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT OK??

Penguin wrote:

Wow. Of all the genuine lunacy out there over legitimate political issues, the thing that prompted you to complain was a fundie being butthurt over Wugwuh's Official Pop Tart, Lady Gaga. And nothing she said was really all that far out there, even by fundie standards.

Wow.

I can only speak for myself here, but sometimes I don't want to feel genuine outrage and despair over important issues. Sometimes I don't want more than a bit of

SisterGrimm wrote:

Do you live in Calgary? I saw the same letter in my
local paper and am now wondering if it was a form letter or
something

Nope. Probably the same paper though, the Republican? They do share a lot of their material.

Penguin wrote:

Wow. Of all the genuine lunacy out there over legitimate political issues, the thing that prompted you to complain was a fundie being butthurt over Wugwuh's Official Pop Tart, Lady Gaga. And nothing she said was really all that far out there, even by fundie standards.

Wow.

I wasn't complaining about anything...? I was reading the newspaper and thought it was funny. As far as fundies go, I actually thought it was quite eloquent. But I didn't realize that we're only allowed to laugh at people's batshittery over legitimate issues, on a forum that mocks fanfiction. Excuse me.

Owlish wrote:

SisterGrimm wrote:

Do you live in Calgary? I saw the same letter in my
local paper and am now wondering if it was a form letter or
something

Nope. Probably the same paper though, the Republican? They do share a lot of their material.

Calgary Herald. It was word for word though, I think even the name was the same. That is wierd

On the topic of looney op-eds, when I was back home for the holidays, I read an op-ed in the local paper saying that not all of the consequences of the civil rights movement were good, we're experiencing many negative side effects from it. Primary amongst those is that black people were a good section of the vote that got Obama into office, and now Obama has passed the Health Care Bill which is going to ruin America.

TL;DR? -> Obama is ruining America all because we had to let those gul-durn negrofolk vote

I'll try to find a link, but I don't know if my local paper has its own website.

From Seth Minkoff, a professor at the University of Massachusetts, as printed in the Boston Globe

Quote :

What goes unmentioned, however, is that some of us also feel that the fundamental aim of [the recent law in Arizona] - enforcement of federal immigration regulations - is immoral.

Those people usually live in states where illegal immigration has not been a problem for more than a century.

The very crux of the matter:

Quote :

Until the US share of world resources is proportional to its population, so-called illegal immigrants will have a moral claim second to none on the rights of US citizenship.

So...until they have no reason to come here, you mean?

Quote :

Arizona’s new law, like the federal laws it seeks to enforce, is an assault on people’s basic right to feed and clothe their families

Because there is no way they can come over legally, or "feed and clothe their families" in Mexico

Rabid Badger wrote:

If you insist on going around dressed like a dime a dance whore, you do not get to hold the moral high ground where your kids are concerned.

Badger, I don't think I've ever said this, but fuck you. "Dime a dance whore"? Fucking SERIOUSLY? I never thought I'd see misogynistic bullshit like that coming from you. And as for the rest of it - you're telling me with a straight face that you never did something in your youth that you wouldn't be happy with your kids doing? You mean someone who wasted their college years smoking weed doesn't get to tell their kids it's wrong and to stay away from that shit? Or does it just apply to women and how they dress?

What the hell. Seriously, what the hell.

Nihilist wrote:

They have every reason to come here as all of us who came before- to say that whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal immigrants after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid and hypocritical.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Nihilist wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

They have every reason to come here as all of us who came before- to say that whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal immigrants after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid and hypocritical.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

So you're either implying that any Native Americans who tried to resist European invasion were in the wrong, or that they weren't but two wrongs make a right. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Congratulations Ms. Colbert. By saying "Lady Gaga", you made me think about her and now I'm listening to "Dance in the Dark" for the thousandth time.

I have to post in this thread. There are some seriously weird op-eds in my paper. I love Maryland, but seriously, we are chock-full of straight up crazy.

Penguin wrote:

So you're either implying that any Native Americans who tried to resist European invasion were in the wrong, or that they weren't but two wrongs make a right. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What post were you reading?

myeerah wrote:

Penguin wrote:

So you're either implying that any Native Americans who tried to resist European invasion were in the wrong, or that they weren't but two wrongs make a right. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What post were you reading?

It wasn't obvious?

Quote :

They have every reason to come here as all of us who came before- to say
that whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal
immigrants after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid
and hypocritical.

Seriously what.

Penguin wrote:

myeerah wrote:

Penguin wrote:

So you're either implying that any Native Americans who tried to resist European invasion were in the wrong, or that they weren't but two wrongs make a right. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What post were you reading?

It wasn't obvious?

Quote :

They have every reason to come here as all of us who came before- to say
that whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal
immigrants after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid
and hypocritical.

Seriously what.

...He's saying that it's hypocritical for white people to say they got here first when they killed and displaced the people who were actually living here first.

I honestly have no idea how you arrived at your interpretation.

Miss Prince wrote:

I honestly have no idea how you arrived at your interpretation.

Fine, here's the schematic diagram.

Quote :

They have every reason to come here as all of us who came before-

Economic, political, social, right? Fair enough, but this part is where I got it:

Quote :

to say that
whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal immigrants
after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid and
hypocritical.

So because a bunch of white people killed off and displaced the Native Americans, US citizens right now are hypocrites if they object to people just coming through the border illegally. I was trying to point out the nonsense that this implies. It's also historically insane, but meh.

Protip: Not everyone who wants immigration refom is a racist from Arizona. And being against illegal immigration is not the same as being against immigration.

SisterGrimm wrote:

Calgary Herald. It was word for word though, I think even the name was the same. That is wierd

That is odd. Seems like Ms. Janine Colbert has a much larger audience than she probably intended? lol

Penguin wrote:

Quote :

to say that
whites have been here longer and therefore are the only legal immigrants
after they displaced many Native American tribes is stupid and
hypocritical.

So because a bunch of white people killed off and displaced the Native Americans, US citizens right now are hypocrites if they object to people just coming through the border illegally. I was trying to point out the nonsense that this implies. It's also historically insane, but meh.

...Alright, I'm going to go out on a limb here. Are you trolling, or have you lost your grip on the English language?

I'm starting to think everyone else has, unless Nihilist is talking about some other historical event/time frame in which Native Americans were displaced.