Design Toscano

This website is hysterical. The best part is, whoever's writing the descriptions for all of this stuff really thinks that poolside mermaids and "horned skull of the beast" statues are "timeless", "elegant", and all manner of adjectives usually reserved for Grace Kelly and Cartier watches.

Behold:

Design Toscano


Gothic Perfection!

Your guests will do a double take, indeed.

Melting nazis sold seperately.

Not even remotely unsettling.

The Ark of the Covenant is pretty nice.

The rest...meh. Probably get that a lot cheaper elsewhere.

But...what would you do with it? Most of it looks like stuff that would be used to adorn a casino.

Achtung Baby wrote:

But...what would you do with it? Most of it looks like stuff that would be used to adorn a casino.

Put it in the front yard, carefully half-hidden by a tree so people can double-take and shit their pants every time they drive by your house?

That's what I'd do with it, anyway...

As odd what you pointed out is, there are some really nice statues on there that I could plausibly see someone wanting in their garden (like the Hebe statue on the front page or most of their animal stuff) is actually really pretty. So like, yeah, they're odd, but there's some really nice stuff in there too.

Edit: Also, the fairies are cute.

This is true, Hedonist. Their fountains aren't half bad at all.

Okay, is it wrong that I want to get the Ark of the Covenent and then mount the Horned Skull on top of it?

Or, alternatively, you could mount the Horned Skull on your roof, with an appropriate kleig light (preferably either blue or red) to illuminate it at night.

Sooper klassy, Badger.

I need this for my dorm room.

Achtung Baby wrote:

Sooper klassy, Badger.

Hey, I never claimed to have any taste. I do it for the lulz.

Achtung Baby wrote:

But...what would you do with it? Most of it looks like stuff that would be used to adorn a casino.

I'd use it to reenact the head exploding scene from Raiders of the Lost Arc.

Achtung Baby wrote:

Your guests will do a double take, indeed.

Quote :

19½"Wx19"Dx28½"H. 12 lbs

I know the yeti doesn't get spotted a whole lot, but I have this feeling they got the size wrong.

Achtung Baby wrote:

Your guests will do a double take, indeed.

That guy used to work for the WWF as A-Train.

I look at this and I keep thinking of the lamp from A Christmas Story.

Vampi_Digitalwytch wrote:

I look at this and I keep thinking of the lamp from A Christmas Story.

Paired with the antique sofa in the background, that's really classy.

grmblfjx wrote:

Achtung Baby wrote:

Your guests will do a double take, indeed.

Quote :

19½"Wx19"Dx28½"H. 12 lbs

I know the yeti doesn't get spotted a whole lot, but I have this feeling they got the size wrong.

Ever thought them being under a meter in height might contribute to them not getting spotted? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

But yeah, I looked at the darn thing and went "FUCK YEAH," and then I saw the dimensions... that website is indeed godawful because it TEASES ME! *wants a Garden Yeti that stands at at least 7 feet*

Saleha wrote:

Ever thought them being under a meter in height might contribute to them not getting spotted? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Ooooooooh.

I don't know, I'd buy some of that.

Then again I'm the one who wanted to buy a 20 foot T-rex statue and pose it in my back yard to scare the kids accross the street. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Speak for yourself, Achtung. I think that site is awesome as balls.

Why does the Ark of the Covenant have a pagan winged Isis twice on it?

bleachedblackcat wrote:

I don't know, I'd buy some of that.

Then again I'm the one who wanted to buy a 20 foot T-rex statue and pose it in my back yard to scare the kids accross the street. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

There's a store up north of here (Oxnard?) that sells them. If I could have figured out how to tie it onto the top of my friend's Toyota, it would be in the front yard as we speak in all its wrought-iron glory.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] It'd be the last time the neighborhood punk lets his dog take a shih-tzu on my lawn.

Soylent Green wrote:

Why does the Ark of the Covenant have a pagan winged Isis twice on it?

I think the author was a little unclear as to what Cherubim looked like. According to the description in the Book of Genesis, The Ark had twinged Cherubim (the angels were originally divided into two groups, the Cherubim and the Seraphim, and no, don't ask me what the difference was, because I don't know), facing inwards so that their wings were touching.

Actually, the real danger of the Ark wasn't looking inside it, was simply being around it. According to the Book of Genesis, it was kept sequestered in an inner chamber in the temple, hidden behind a thick veil, and not even the Chief High Priest was allowed to look at it or touch it. The priests wore bells on the bottom of their robes, and if the High Priest's bells suddenly stopped ringing, you knew he'd accidentally brushed up against the Ark and got his fool self killed. That's why I was never 100% convinced that the Ark in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' was the actual Ark of the Covenant, because Old Testament God was a nasty, short-tempered bastard, and he wouldn't have cared if the Nazi's were evil or not, he would've just killed EVERYONE for daring to meddle in his business.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Actually, the real danger of the Ark wasn't
looking inside it, was simply being around it. According to the Book of
Genesis, it was kept sequestered in an inner chamber in the temple,
hidden behind a thick veil, and not even the Chief High Priest was
allowed to look at it or touch it. The priests wore bells on the bottom
of their robes, and if the High Priest's bells suddenly stopped
ringing, you knew he'd accidentally brushed up against the Ark and got
his fool self killed.

Some researchers (or self-appointed as such) have deducted from its description in the Bible that the Ark was a huge-assed condenser; the wings of the Cherubims would concentrate the static charge because of their shape.

Quote :

That's why I was never 100% convinced that the
Ark in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' was the actual Ark of the Covenant,
because Old Testament God was a nasty, short-tempered bastard, and he
wouldn't have cared if the Nazi's were evil or not, he would've just
killed EVERYONE for daring to meddle in his business.

Nah, the Ark was the real McCoy. What saved the Germans - for a while - were their rubber boots... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Rabid Badger wrote:

(the angels were originally divided into two groups, the Cherubim and the Seraphim, and no, don't ask me what the difference was, because I don't know)

Two?

myeerah wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

(the angels were originally divided into two groups, the Cherubim and the Seraphim, and no, don't ask me what the difference was, because I don't know)

Two?

I'm going by the New Testament line-up. I knew the original Jewish hirarchy was a lot more complicated, but I didn't realize they had quit THAT many categories.