Man breaks into home, takes shower.

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Quote :

EASTON, Pa. — An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered. The man was charged with breaking into the home in Easton, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia. According to court documents, the homeowner returned home Sunday to discover him watching TV and cooking chicken.

Now I'm sure this "burglar" would have shared, it would have been rude of him not to. He took a shower and got all "prettied up," I'm sure he just wanted to have an intellectual discussion about the human mind and whatnot.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

This dude has to be the strangest burglary suspect in the American legal system. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I wouldn't be displeased to find a clean guy cooking fried chicken.

When you wrote "takes shower", I was thinking that the man actually took the physical shower. Way to disappoint, Viking.

Mafiosa wrote:

I wouldn't be displeased to find a clean guy cooking fried chicken.

Right. I'd bargain to let him go if he shared some oh god I'm such a stereotype.

Bamshalam wrote:

When you wrote "takes shower", I was thinking that the man actually took the physical shower.

Sorry, I'll go out, steal one and get on the news

Cpt Viking wrote:

Bamshalam wrote:

When you wrote "takes shower", I was thinking that the man actually took the physical shower.

Sorry, I'll go out, steal one and get on the news [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

No, this is good. It's certainly original. I've joked about people breaking in just to bathe, but I've never heard of it actually happening before.

Chris91 wrote:

This dude has to be the strangest burglary suspect in the American legal system. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I dunno, there was a guy here in Michigan a couple-five years back that stole a toilet. Just...up and stole a toilet. And nothing else, IIRC.

Weird personal(ish) anecdote: A long time ago (I think before I was born), some drunk guy broke into my grandparents' house and started playing the piano.

This is a similar brand of wtf

Delcat wrote:

Chris91 wrote:

This dude has to be the strangest burglary suspect in the American legal system. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I dunno, there was a guy here in Michigan a couple-five years back that stole a toilet. Just...up and stole a toilet. And nothing else, IIRC.

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"When you gotta go, you gotta go"

Delcat wrote:

Chris91 wrote:

This dude has to be the strangest burglary suspect in the American legal system. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I dunno, there was a guy here in Michigan a couple-five years back that stole a toilet. Just...up and stole a toilet. And nothing else, IIRC.

I had someone break into my house in The Sims and steal a bathtub and shower.

What are the logistics of that? Seriously.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

I had someone break into my house in The Sims and steal a bathtub and shower.

What are the logistics of that? Seriously.

That was actually my first thought--in Sims 3, if your character has the Kleptomaniac trait, you can use the "Swipe Something" action three times a day. The trouble is, you can't select individual items, just the general area to swipe from. And they can steal anything. My crazy klepto hobo Sim managed to stuff a statue from the Town Square that was roughly five times his size into his pocket once. Is it any wonder I love this series?

My guess is that the burglar is a bit mentally ill. Something similar happened in my hometown years ago: a resident of the mental institution had a day pass, was wandering about the neighborhood, knocked on a door, and when he found it open, went on inside to make breakfast and coffee.

I remember reading a few years back about a guy who broke into a family's house, they heard him and called the cops, and when the police arrived he was just sitting in the living room playing the SNES.

This is weird too though [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I'd also just like to say this is the most wonderfully mundane headline ever.

Delcat wrote:

Chris91 wrote:

This dude has to be the strangest burglary suspect in the American legal system. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I dunno, there was a guy here in Michigan a couple-five years back that stole a toilet. Just...up and stole a toilet. And nothing else, IIRC.

You're a Michigander/ganian too?

Mystique wrote:

You're a Michigander/ganian too?

Yup, Northern. What's your region?

Delcat wrote:

Mystique wrote:

You're a Michigander/ganian too?

Yup, Northern. What's your region?

Flint!

Bamshalam wrote:

When you wrote "takes shower", I was thinking that the man actually took the physical shower. Way to disappoint, Viking.

Mafiosa wrote:

I wouldn't be displeased to find a clean guy cooking fried chicken.

Right. I'd bargain to let him go if he shared some oh god I'm such a stereotype.

I was also imagining someone walking into their bathroom and finding a gaping hole where their shower used to be. Can you imagine that conversation?

"Honey! Come here! You gotta see this!"
"Oh, Henry, we've talked about this. I don't need to see-- OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"What did I do? Why is this my fault? I found it this way!"

Also, that is not being a stereotype. Good fried chicken is OF THE GODS.

Bamshalam wrote:

When you wrote "takes shower", I was thinking that the man actually took the physical shower. Way to disappoint, Viking.

Mafiosa wrote:

I wouldn't be displeased to find a clean guy cooking fried chicken.

Right. I'd bargain to let him go if he shared some oh god I'm such a stereotype.

As a friend of mine said when her husband accused her of perpetuating stereotypes, "Who doesn't like fried chicken and watermelon?" I agreed, and we split an Orange Crush.

This reminds me of Dean Koontz's The Good Guy, only without the guy being a crazy sociopath.

This topic is just... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I wouldn't call this God Awful news. After all, how awful is it that a guy just wants to smarten himself up, have a snack and watch TV?

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I wouldn't call this God Awful news. After all, how awful is it that a guy just wants to smarten himself up, have a snack and watch TV?

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(Cue Powerpoint explanation of economics and how theft essentially enslaves the victim)