Televangelists - The Bad, the Ugly, and the Just Plain Bizzare

I didn't see a thread for this, but if this being discussed else where, feel free to either move or delete this.

Who are some of your "favorite" televangelists?

There's a million of them out there, but I'll start with this guy.

Jack Van Impe--I was first exposed to him during my high school years because my parents were (and still are, unfortunately) obsessed with his show. I thought he was fairly harmless until I one day walked in on a show in which he was making claims about the BIBLE CODE. I started dying with laughter as he claimed that the Bible Code was "serious business"--and that the only way of accurately de-coding it was by using the King James Version of the Bible.
Not the Hebrew version. Not the Latin or Greek. But the KING JAMES. Because anything other than that version is just a tool of the devil, don't 'cha know?

I had a hard time deciding on what video clip to post, because there are just SO MANY that are utterly insane. So, I decided to go with Mr. Van Impe's take on the 2012 "issue". Listen as he quotes Bible verses at lightning speed, and claims Jesus will return on Christmas day!



Because, you know, December 25th was TOTALLY the day Jesus was born! It doesn't have anything to do with old Roman festivals/the Winter Solstice. The date we arbitrarily chose to celebrate the birth of Christ HAS to be the actual thing--and God will totally honor that. Right?

This guy just...completely blows my mind. And it makes me sad that my parents watch him and his (kinda freaky) wife as though they speak the gospel truth.

For more fun, check out what he says about Obama some time. :D

So, what other televangelists are out there that you find particularly funny or incredibly offensive?

Before they imploded, I found Jim and Tammy Fay Baker particularly offensive. They were part of the original wave of "Name it and Claim It' evangelists-the ones who told people that you could have anything you wanted, including that million dollar home in California and a chauffeur driven limo if you just PRAYED hard enough. Because never mind the parts in the Bible where Jesus preaches about frugality and tells you not to lay down treasures here on Earth-God WANTS YOU TO HAVE ALL THAT STUFF! And I'll make you a better Christian, too.

I can't tell you how many Christians I knew who lost everything they had because they went out and bought huge expensive houses and stuff they couldn't afford, secure in the knowledge that God was going to send them the money to pay for it.

I was also a tad ashamed of Oral Roberts and the whole "If you don't send me six million dollars by this date so I can build my hospital, God's going to take me home' thing. God is not a Mafia Capo and does not hold people hostage for money. The fact he got the money from some idiot and ended up having to close the hospital down because he couldn't afford to keep it operational seemed like suitable justice.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I was also a tad ashamed of Oral Roberts and the whole "If you don't send me six million dollars by this date so I can build my hospital, God's going to take me home' thing. God is not a Mafia Capo and does not hold people hostage for money. The fact he got the money from some idiot and ended up having to close the hospital down because he couldn't afford to keep it operational seemed like suitable justice.

Holy shit, Badge, what have you done?

Ooh! Ooh! Aim for Jerry Falwell next! But stay away from Jack Chick, there are yet lulz to milk of him!

Delcat wrote:

Ooh! Ooh! Aim for Jerry Falwell next! But stay away from Jack Chick, there are yet lulz to milk of him!

Falwell's already dead - I'd aim for Pat Robertson, or maybe James Dobson in a pinch.

derp derp sporadic aphasia

Sorry, I meant Fred Phelps. It's been a long semester, okay?

...wait, there's a televangelist called Oral?

ZoZo wrote:

...wait, there's a televangelist called Oral?

Not anymore. He died a couple days ago. Presumably, he choked on something. Probably on lies.

OH OH OH OH

I was totally going to make a thread for this in Subcultures, but then I couldn't be arsed and stuff.

I heard about Peter Popoff from my boyfriend, who'd seen some videos on youtube. He's some kind of American 'Televangelist', whose basic gig is this: you send off for some 'free' "healing water" or some shit that's supposed to make you rich, he sends you it plus a letter asking for you to send him a couple of quid to 'make it work' or something, you send him that, he sends you another letter asking for more money, etc. Repeat ad infinitum, or at least until you're bankrupt.

The thing about this guy though, is that he was actually outed as a fake years ago. He lost his job, was declared bankrupt... then somehow clawed his way back up to doing the exact same thing all over again.

Basically, this summer I did some research and found out that he actually has a UK sector in his evil empire of evilness. So... I sent off for this stuff. 'He' sent me 4 or 5 letters, one every fortnight or so, but they stopped coming a couple of months ago. It's a shame really, because they were always good for a laugh... rambling, pathetic, and with some really weird attempts at 'personalisation' which basically meant underlining some words with a gel pen and writing ~*turn over*~ at the end of every page. Also, the things he sent me... 'prayer bracelets' made of paper, a 'tree of wealth' made of green card that I had to sprinkle salt on (or something like that)... it was incredible.

Ahh... I'll post scans of the letters etc up here if anyone's interested in seeing them. Craaaazy shit.

Yorokobi wrote:

Because, you know, December 25th was TOTALLY the day Jesus was born! It doesn't have anything to do with old Roman festivals/the Winter Solstice. The date we arbitrarily chose to celebrate the birth of Christ HAS to be the actual thing--and God will totally honor that. Right?

This guy just...completely blows my mind. And it makes me sad that my parents watch him and his (kinda freaky) wife as though they speak the gospel truth.

For more fun, check out what he says about Obama some time. :D

So, what other televangelists are out there that you find particularly funny or incredibly offensive?

Well, at least he doesn't say the world is going to end. That bit of lunacy is only going to gain momentum and spread the crazy until it's 2013.

Benny Hinn. How I do hate thee, Benny Hinn.

The reason behind this is that for a few years, Hinn was my mother's favourite evangelist (she's a devoted (hurr) watcher of the God Channel. She seemed to really believe in the idea that he would cure her of all her ills, and that with the help of this lying faker, she'd be well again. It was several months, probably over a year, before my brother and I discovered she was sending a regular donation to Hinn out of her (low, fixed) income.

Then there was the day that her prayer group got her to go to one of Hinn's healing ministry extravaganzas during one of his tours of the UK. She was ill for weeks after that, it really took it out of her - as anyone with a brain would have told them would happen had they bothered to ask. Which they didn't. And of course he obviously didn't cure her, which upset her. Then the prayer group really wound me up by telling her that of course she wasn't healed, she didn't pray hard enough - which really upset her.

In the end, my brother and I had a serious talk with her and got her to change her regular donation to Water Aid, on the grounds that if she wanted to support a charity, at least they did useful work - donations to Hinn just go into his pocket.

I loathe Hinn and all his works.

Seule wrote:

Basically, this summer I did some research and found out that he actually has a UK sector in his evil empire of evilness. So... I sent off for this stuff. 'He' sent me 4 or 5 letters, one every fortnight or so, but they stopped coming a couple of months ago. It's a shame really, because they were always good for a laugh... rambling, pathetic, and with some really weird attempts at 'personalisation' which basically meant underlining some words with a gel pen and writing ~*turn over*~ at the end of every page. Also, the things he sent me... 'prayer bracelets' made of paper, a 'tree of wealth' made of green card that I had to sprinkle salt on (or something like that)... it was incredible.

Ahh... I'll post scans of the letters etc up here if anyone's interested in seeing them. Craaaazy shit.

I would love to see that. Please scan them in you get the chance! I've been face-palming at Popoff since I saw the 4Chan video of him awhile back.

Lexin--that's terrible. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I'm sorry that your mother (and family) had to go through that. Something very similar happened to my boyfriend's grandmother (also with Hinn). She actually saw them planting the fakes in the audience when she went to see him for the first time. Needless to say, she was far from pleased.

Last night I was "introduced" (aka, saw my mom watching on TV) to John Paul Jackson. He's an "11th Hour Evangelist". He had this crazy story about how he was meant to be an 11th hour minister because his mother carried him in her womb for 11 months. Therefore he's totally blessed and awesome. He mostly just interprets dreams, from what I can see. One of the people that was interviewing him on Daystar last night actually starting yawning at one point, because he just kept rambling on and on about dreams and his own special-ness. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I hate Benny Hinn. He's an obvious fake. The Holy Spirit doesn't work like that.
And don't get me started on Paul and Jan Crouch. She's a Tammy Faye wannabe. Haven't seen them in years, but her hair was a very light lavender. Scary woman.

Delcat wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

I was also a tad ashamed of Oral Roberts and the whole "If you don't send me six million dollars by this date so I can build my hospital, God's going to take me home' thing. God is not a Mafia Capo and does not hold people hostage for money. The fact he got the money from some idiot and ended up having to close the hospital down because he couldn't afford to keep it operational seemed like suitable justice.

Holy shit, Badge, what have you done?

I lay no claim. The man was 91, for chrissakes. According to the Bible, you're only allotted threescore and ten (70), and after that the Judgement. So he got an extra 11 years.

And to those who've mentioned Benny Hinn; my dad seldom, if ever spoke out against televangelists (though he honestly thought they did more harm than good, and that people should find a neighborhood church with a good pastor to attend), but he....I can't say hated, because my dad never actually hated anyone that I know of, but he was mighty displeased by him. He out and out called him a fake, which for my dad was roughly equivalent to a non-Pastor calling someone a son of a bitch.

One most of you probably don't even remember was Kathryn Kuhlman. One of the few female evangelists (she got her start in the 1940s), she specialized in 'healing' (Benny Hinn was a disciple of hers). She had a weekly television series in the 60s and 70s called 'I Believe in Miracles,' which I vaguely remember watching as a kid. There was, of course, the same controversy surrounding her that you always get around evengelists who specialize in healing, and there was actually a doctor who did a long-term follow-up of people she'd 'healed' and discovered that, in fact, none of them had been healed. She was also involved in a rather messy marriage (given that her 'husband' was married and had two children when she took up with him).

Still, she seems to have weathered things fairly well; possibly because she died before people began more closely scrutinizing televangelists. I doubt she'd last long today.

Seule wrote:

I heard about Peter Popoff from my boyfriend, who'd seen some videos on youtube. He's some kind of American 'Televangelist', whose basic gig is this: you send off for some 'free' "healing water" or some shit that's supposed to make you rich, he sends you it plus a letter asking for you to send him a couple of quid to 'make it work' or something, you send him that, he sends you another letter asking for more money, etc. Repeat ad infinitum, or at least until you're bankrupt.

The thing about this guy though, is that he was actually outed as a fake years ago. He lost his job, was declared bankrupt... then somehow clawed his way back up to doing the exact same thing all over again.

Ah, you reminded me of this, it's hilarious:

KelinciHutan wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Uh, I'm also a Christian and I still think the gig sounds pretty suspect. Just sayin'.

I'd like to chime in that I thought Lysander was describing the person leading the service.

Delcat wrote:

KelinciHutan wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Uh, I'm also a Christian and I still think the gig sounds pretty suspect. Just sayin'.

I'm giving Ly the benefit of the doubt a bit. Maybe they were everything he said. In fact, I did put that in my post (not much, but it's there). But I'm honestly bothered because it sounds like his main objection was that some church dared to let a man with a mental disability stand up in front of the congregation. "Surfing deep cable" isn't exactly his best shot at getting the full story, either. If every church that happened to broadcast their Sunday services decided to make sure they never had a "retarded guy behind the altar," the end result would be some pretty harsh discrimination. "Got a mental disability? Sorry, you can't contribute to the service like everyone else can! We're on TV and you might make people upset." Not to mention that, Ly, you seem to find it impossible for this guy's expression of faith to be something that the rest of the church could genuinely appreciate. I still don't understand why you think that, and I'm genuinely curious.