The Rape of Wolverine--'Sex slave. You're ours now'

Well, not a real wolverine. I'm not into bestiality. Anthromorphism is quite, quite different.

Really though, Wolverine's hooked up with just about every female. He's about as straight as it's possible to GET.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Really though, Wolverine's hooked up with just about every female. He's about as straight as it's possible to GET.

We all know that means nothing.

Harley, the internet, especially a particularly snarky website, is not the best place to broadcast your desperate desires for an SO.

Also: Why the hell are these people raping Wolverine? Is this some form of Skrull terrorism?

This . . . hurts.

I realize that Wolverine's been overhyped of late. And yes, in the comics, he's not exactly handsome and kind of a midget. But given his personality and abilities, there is just no way this would ever work. Probably going off movie canon, yes? Then did they miss the bit where Wolverine goes from zero to psycho in .2 seconds and skewers someone before he's even fully awake?

And yes, adamantium can cut Colossus' organic steel. Logan should've sliced 'n' diced the whole lot of 'em. That's not even touching the issue of his sexuality, which is aggressively hetero. There is no confusion about which team this guy bats for.

I . . . just . . . what? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Does Not Compute.

Yeah, if you're gonna make a guy gay, you really ought to pick one with at least a suggestion of a question mark. I mean, if somebody goes and makes Starscream gay, it's nobosy's fault but his own, the whiny little bitch. And if Shadow doesn't want to be paired with Sonic then they should both show some goddamn interest in the boobs bouncing all over the place.

But Wolverine? Marvel's resident poster-boy for heterosexuality? Come on!

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I mean, if somebody goes and makes Starscream gay, it's nobosy's fault but his own, the whiny little bitch.

Yeah, because if a male character acts like that he might as well be a woman, so we'll do the next best thing and turn him gay! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

But Wolverine? Marvel's resident poster-boy for heterosexuality? Come on!

Meh. I always felt that at least some bicuriousity wouldn´t be entirely off in dear old Logan. He´s actually fairly tolerant about other people´s quirks and tastes and doesn't easily dismiss something as being wrong. Also, he has lived for ages and, considering his general attitude of 'try everything once', I always thought that he has, at least, fooled around with a man or two before deciding the queer thing wasn't it for him.
As far as posterboys for heterosexuality go, I'd go with Peter Parker, or, on the more metrosexual side of things, Remy LeBeau.

Jay/Cris wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

But Wolverine? Marvel's resident poster-boy for heterosexuality? Come on!

Meh. I always felt that at least some bicuriousity wouldn´t be entirely off in dear old Logan. He´s actually fairly tolerant about other people´s quirks and tastes and doesn't easily dismiss something as being wrong. Also, he has lived for ages and, considering his general attitude of 'try everything once', I always thought that he has, at least, fooled around with a man or two before deciding the queer thing it wasn't it for him.
As far as posterboys for heterosexuality go, I'd go with Peter Parker, or, on the more metrosexual side of things, Remy LeBeau.

I fully endorse this position.

And don't try to tell me there isn't a certain amount of Foe-Yay going on between him and Sabertooth, either.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Jay/Cris wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

But Wolverine? Marvel's resident poster-boy for heterosexuality? Come on!

Meh. I always felt that at least some bicuriousity wouldn´t be entirely off in dear old Logan. He´s actually fairly tolerant about other people´s quirks and tastes and doesn't easily dismiss something as being wrong. Also, he has lived for ages and, considering his general attitude of 'try everything once', I always thought that he has, at least, fooled around with a man or two before deciding the queer thing it wasn't it for him.
As far as posterboys for heterosexuality go, I'd go with Peter Parker, or, on the more metrosexual side of things, Remy LeBeau.

I fully endorse this position.

And don't try to tell me there isn't a certain amount of Foe-Yay going on between him and Sabertooth, either.

I admit I'm not up on my canon, but wouldn't those be incesty vibes?

myeerah wrote:

I admit I'm not up on my canon, but wouldn't those be incesty vibes?

That would be correct. Sabertooth is his half-brother.

At least, until the origin story gets retconned in a few years' time. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And while I suppose experimentation et al wouldn't be totally out of bounds, all of Wolverine's major love interests have been female; even if he switched teams at one time, he's got some pretty solidly stated preferences right now. But, Christ, even if he was stated as bi, this story would be waaaaaaaay out of character. For everyone. The Mansion is out of character, just by dint of being involved in this thing.