Join date : 2009-06-25 Age : 32 Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata
Subject: Team Valley Girl 2 Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:31 pm
Untitled TF2 Fanfiction - a delightful romp in the TF2 universe starring... two chicks we've never heard of or care about! Yay! How much of an introduction are we given to them? None! Who are they? Who cares!
Quote :
Alarms wailed throughout Builder league United’s (BLU) barracks, announcing that soon the leader of BLU would be here to relay orders onto them. One of Blu’s employees rolled out of her cot, landing with a thud on the ground, she lay there a moment before blindly trying to hit the “snooze” button on her alarm clock, located on a desk next to her, the alarm didn’t stop once she found it.
And this is how we meet our protagonist, the erudite and enigmatic Emily... or Annette. It's pretty damn hard to tell them apart.
Quote :
The red-headed girl looked up just as her friend thrashed her way right out of bed, and landed in a heap on top of her. “y-your crushing me” sputtered the smaller girl, pinned by her friend.
Remember: These are supposed to be professional mercenaries. These people have been hired solely for the purpose of killing other people. And here they are... doing what?
“Annete it’s the BLU alarm, not the alarm clock for the 50th-“Annete interrupted her “it’s only the 47th” she said smugly
You are wittier than the original version of this post
Quote :
He had an Indiana-Jones-ish look to him, including the hat.
Yes, I suppose, if you were a four-year-old who had never heard of Team Fortress 2 and you weren't Australian, that might be an alright way to describe Sniper.
Quote :
Emily tensed at this, one of her pet peeves was being called small, or childish at a mere 5ft 4’ despite being almost 17.
They let seventeen-year-olds who can't tell the difference between an emergency alarm and their clock onto the battlefield. Yup.
Quote :
Before Emily could do anything in response to the giant, another person strolled in, this one female; she wore blue from head to toe. Blue dress, blue high-heels blue hat, and blue arm gloves, she smirked looking at the others. Everyone in the room recognized her as the Owner of BLU. The leader took her place at the table; a blue briefcase was hand-cuffed to her wrist, what she sat upon the table, unlocking it with a pin code and passed out papers from it to each person.
In your universe, does the President of the United States hang out on the front lines?
Quote :
“Your transport has been deployed, it will be here shortly, you’ll find your weaponry and equipment in the armory, now get to it!” she barked, hastily adding “GO BLU!”
Ahh, the standards of professionalism. "Be polite. Be efficient. See how far below your station you can possibly act."
Quote :
The other was a tooth-pick compared to the giant. He had a wimpy look to him, down to his slicked back hair, and graying sideburns. He had a pair of clear glasses perched on his nose, and a long face, he looked like a serious type, his face completely emotionless.
Quote :
The toothpick was in hot pursuit, a lab coat on, as well as what looked like a Ghostbusters gun strapped to his back.
“Live ammo + me = pain or death” kept repeating over and over in her head.
And that's why you're a mercenary.
Quote :
As the BLU team entered, they noticed the building was split in half, one half blue the other red, on the red side of the room were several people wearing very much the same outfits as the BLU’s, except of course, they were red. The RED’s glanced at the competition, laughing and snickering, poking jokes.
They eat together in the same mess hall. That makes sense.
Quote :
The leader of BLU informed them in a small office area all 8 of them were huddled that we were to strategize, from the briefcase she handed each of us different papers referring to our "classes" Emily got “engineer” and Annette got the “soldier” class. Emily and Annette were soon after rushed off to the mess hall.
“n-no damage done eh heh” the girl echoed back again, making Emily wonder if she was mocking her. “Im Veronica” she answered after awhile, adding “engineer extraordinaire” Emily felt something was wrong, but ignored it “oh? Im an engineer too, it’s cool we have two… on… our…- she stopped as the steam cleared enough to see veronica at the other end of the springs- wearing red.
HOW IN THE EVER LOVING NAME OF GOD ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? WHO SAID YOU COULD PLAY WITH AMMUNITION?
Last edited by Dr. Professor Science on Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:04 am; edited 4 times in total
Cyberwulf NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 42 Location : TRILOBITE!
Subject: Re: Team Valley Girl 2 Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:08 pm
Doc I can't tell why this fic is so bad because of all the shitty MSPaint-ed on images and huge fuckoff shoops. Did you even tell us what's so godawful about it? Sheer laziness.
Dr. Professor Science Ghoti
Join date : 2009-06-25 Age : 32 Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata
Subject: Re: Team Valley Girl 2 Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:10 pm
Cyberwulf wrote:
Doc I can't tell why this fic is so bad because of all the shitty MSPaint-ed on images and huge fuckoff shoops. Did you even tell us what's so godawful about it? Sheer laziness.
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