Choose Your Own Cancer

Cower in fear, dear reader, at Choose Your Own Change, a site dedicated to transformation choose-your-own-adventure story. This is a site dedicated to people gaining obscene amounts of weight or turning into animals. People jack off to this.

Some excerpts from the choose-your-own-adventure include:

Quote :

Your a pokemon trainer name Damon who was ask to help the reaserchers with there discovery. As Damon was caught in the mysterous light and seeing the unnown. One of the Unnown had came up to Damon. Well it seems we have a human in our home. What do you want the most human? said the Unnown. Want? I don't want anything said Damon. Oh but you do. I can see it in your soul. You wanted to be a pokemon for a long time. But you didn't know how. But I can help you with your wish said the Unnown. Really you can? said Damon. Yes so which pokemon do you want to be the most? said the Unnown. Damon thinks hard and decided the pokemon he wants to turn into is a.

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Well this is to hard to say but said Damon. Yes human go on said the Unnown. Can you guys turn me into a female? said Damon. Why do you want to be a girl? said the Unnown. I want to know what it feels like to be a female human. Can you guys do it? said Damon. It shall be done said the Unnown. The Unnown then use there power on Damon. Damon begins to feel some pain in his chest. He saw that he has brest now with two boops sticking out. His legs then change to more a female like legs. His clothes change to female clothes as well. His hair grew out and turns into blonde hair. Damon's cock and balls then disapper as his or her new vigina takes it place with female Orgains now. Damon was now a female. There you go human. You have your gender change. What was your boys name before? said the Unnown. It use to be Damon said Damon with a female voice. Do you want to change your name then? said the Unnown. Yes my new name now is Debra said Damon or Debra now. Well Debra everyone you know will always know you as a girl. The once Damon the male is gone. Debra the female human lives on said the Unnown. The Unnown then takes Debra to a city as Debra decided to.

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Debra heads to the mall as she had this strange urge to go shoping for some new clothes and shoes. She notices that she's hloding a purse as well. But it didn't really matter to her now. When she was just a male. She thought holding purses was to girly. But now that Damon got his gender change and change his name to Debra. Debra likes having purses. Debra brought a red dress and nice looking shoes. She had about$100,000 dollars in her purse. Debra take off her shirt to see her new female body and likes it alot. She brought the red dress and nice shoes and wears them thro the mall. The males kept looking at Debra as they whistle at her. The Unnown had turn Damon into a attractive female. Debra then came to a movie theather and wanted to see two movies. A action movie or a love movie. Debra chose.

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Debra chose a love movie. When she was a male. She always hated love movies. But she wonders what it would be like to see a love movies as a female. Debra watch the whole movie without falling asleep. She even cry in some parts. She know now that her male feelings had turn into female feelings. Debra left the theather and actually like the movie and then she bumped into a hot guy. Oh sorry my bad said the hoy guy. Debra couldn't help but like the hot guy. She has finally learn what a female feels like. No that's okay. My name is Debra by the way said Debra. My name is James. Wow you look pretty and hot said James. Thanks so do you said Debrra. Would you like to go out with me said James. Oh yes James I would love to said Debra. Great see me at the great resturant said James. A few miuets later. Debra came to the great resturant. When all of a sudden. Debra had enter a strange world. She then see's

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he Unnown appeard in fron of Debra once again. So Debra how do you like it as a female? said the Unnown. I like it. I didn't know that being a female would be much fun said Debra. Well were glad that you like it. In fact were giving you two choices said the Unnown. What choices do I have. You can either return to your male life like before. Or you can stay as a female froever. Debra didn't thought much about it. She like her new body and dosn't want to change it. Unnown I had fun as a male. But after experecing being a female. I had decided I wanted to be a female for the rest of my life said Debra. If that's what you want then you got it then. For now on you are and forver a female human said the Unnown. The Unnown then leave and Debra returns to her world with no memories of being a male at all. James came by the great resturant and Debra and James spend there time together as soul mates. The male human Damon was gone for good and in his place is a female name Debra where she will be spending the rest of her life as a female and with James as well.

There was a story where a guy makes a woman across the street lose all her clothes. There's a huge list of options for who she turned out to be. One was Sarah Palin and another was "Mrs. Blodges, the woman who runs the KFC down the street".

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It was that woman that you once bought a big packet of fried chicken from at the shop! She didn't look too bad as she was.

You remember that fateful day as if it was yesterday. You still swear that and the home-brand cola they sold at that fast food outlet was the cause of your piles for that week. Your arse must've been burnt at least three times a day by it. The painful memories flood back.

With that, you've decided what to do next: "I wish Mrs. Blodges turned into a deep fried chicken!". You congratulated yourself on thwe poetic justice of it all.

Doubling over in pain, screaming through gritted teeth, greasing of plucked skin and morphing of limbs to represent something vaguely chicken- like after a while. These things, sadly, never happened, as in a blink reminiscent of that of an old TV show she was instantly replaced by a whole fried chicken. On a plate. In the middle of the sidewalk.

You blink a few times. Maybe you should've specified exactly how you wanted her to transform, to savour the tastes for revenge on here. You wish her back to normal, and she appears - immediately, again - in place, sat on the floor, looking a little bewildered.

You try again. "I wish that Mrs. Blodges, the woman right in front of me, slowly turned into a roast chicken."

She certainly turned into a chicken more slowly - it blinked out a whole two minutes before she appeared again, the same again, on a plate in the middle of the sidewalk. You wonder why on earth the conditions include a plate underneath her.

This is beginning to annoy you quite a bit. You wish silently for her to turn back to normal again, and she appears sat on the floor again, now looking just a bit pissed off, arms folded in front of her. Evidently she's as fed up with this as you are.

You try again, but putting as much effort into the wording as you can muster: "I wish, that Mrs. Blodges, sitting in front of me right now, would very slowly transform, including the inbetween shapes, and the morphing and the slight pain and the screaming out before settling in her final shape, into a deep fried, Kentucky style chick." You let that settle in with a smile - before it hits you. "I mean a chicken! CHICKEN! Stop changing! Nononono! I didn't want that.."

Too late. After you had finished shouting, she had already been transformed into a deep fried, Kentucky- style version of herself in her mid teens. She probably wouldn't have looked bad if her skin wasn't so greasy and smelling deliciously spicy.

By this point you decided you had enough. "Sod it." you mutter to yourself, then go off to find someone else to transform.



Three gherkin- people, a squirrel boy and a busload of seventeen children- shaped peach jellies later, you've had enough of this and go home.

Walking on the way home, you find..

Best part: anyone can add chapters to this anonymously.

I made a submission for my favorite pokemon.

Porygon

To say that it's the best one on the site would be like saying a (healthy) nerd would be the best at the quadrapalegics bench-press competition.

They have a chatroom. When I first entered the pokemon transformation RP form, I saw:

NB: I'm Horny_Porygon.

Spoiler:

and, I was private-messaged the following: (Completely out of nowhere)

Spoiler:

Let's infiltrate this site and troll the shit out of it.

Quote :

From: unskilled78
To: Delcat
Posted: Today at 10:00 pm
Subject: Immediate Action requested. Quote message
Look at the Choose your own cancer thread in the webpage set. Please.

God, you are such a weed. Do we look like your personal army? Don't PM me again unless you're on fire, in which case I will want to be alerted so I can laugh at you.

ETA: And you know what? Now that I get the chance to read the thread, I'm even more pissed off. Trolling genuinely bad people is one thing, but these crazy bastards are just trying to peacefully get their rocks off. Snarking is fair game, messing with them directly is not. Go get fucked by a giraffe.

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Delcat wrote:

Quote :

From: unskilled78
To: Delcat
Posted: Today at 10:00 pm
Subject: Immediate Action requested. Quote message
Look at the Choose your own cancer thread in the webpage set. Please.

God, you are such a weed. Do we look like your personal army? Don't PM me again unless you're on fire, in which case I will want to be alerted so I can laugh at you.

ma'am, I wanted you to have the fun of helping rip this sick virgin asshole of disease wide open.

I dunno, I kind of like unskilled's Porygon page. Seems like screwing with the CYOA could be entertaining.

Yes, because it's not like I ADMITTED TO A BUNCH OF EQUIVALENTLY KINKY FETISHES OVER IN THE NAME YOUR FETISH THREAD AND OPENLY STATED THAT I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WEIRD KINKS IF THEY'RE WELL-WRITTEN OR DRAWN.

HOW MANY CAPS DO I HAVE TO LOCK AT YOU, BOY.

But... this kink is being written terribly. TERRIBLY.

The problem isn't the fetish - it's the writing, quality of the clientèle, and the easiness of trolling.

Oh, I have no problem with writing fresh pages. I agree that'd be fun. But I draw the line at fucking around with them in PMs or the chat room.

"Infiltrating the site"? Whoops, I must have clicked on /b/ by mistake, my bad.

...Oh no wait, you guys really are this fucking dumb. Point and laugh if you must, but raids are for drooling morons and basement-dwellers with V masks.

lol personal army

That said this just bad fapfiction. I'm not seeing what makes this so splendiferous that we have to do EPIC RAIDS RIGHT NOW HURR

Dude, it's a CYOA where anyone can add whatever they want. Dicking with people in the chatbox is stupid, but adding random pages sounds fun. Like for totally unsexy Pokemon or for bland actions like "Go home and eat a sandwich" or adding a "Stab" choice to every page in honor of Chris91...

And I couldn't really call it trolling because anything any of us write has to be leagues beyond what's already there.

That's what I had in mind when I mentioned that it was open for anyone to post. Just fill the thing with useless posts that are a little confusing.

There's a difference between kinks and this; your average kink meme (like Cyberwulf writes) at least works as an English composition if nothing else. This thing allows for anonymous posting and has zero quality control- basically the unholy matrimony of GIFT and Sturgeon's Law. If that isn't godawful, there ain't no such animal.

Okay, wandered off for a bit to let the irritation wear off.

To clarify, this is a goldmine and very snarkworthy. I am only bothered by:
1) Unskilled trying to fuck with people trying to RP in peace. We are not /b/. If people want to pretend to turn into cows on a chatroom they set up for that purpose, that's their own business.
2) Unskilled trying to personal army people up via PM. Not even /b/ likes that shit.
3) Unskilled in general.

So, let's get on with the snark, shall we?

Oh, golly goodness! What adventure shall I choose first? I think I'll try the all-male magic dormitory story, that sounds dreaaaamy! Let's see, my first choice is what room I want to visit...room 307 sounds good--

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GAH. Er, occupied, right! Let's, uh, try 102, then.

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Cody nodded, "I guess the right side is mine,
right." Julius nodded. Cody started to unpack his stuff. Cody was a sloppy dresser, he wore a XXX-L dragon t-shirt, loose cargo shorts, and sandals. The rest of
his wardrobe seemed to mimic this basic uniform. Cody had forgotten his belt so whenever be bent down his shorts would slide down and his dragon boxers ans
his butt-crack could be seen. Julius took note of this from his desk as he continued to study his books. Cody would hitch up his shorts every time he put something
away. Once in a while he would reach under his shirt and scratch his belly. Whenever he did this his massive hairy gut could be seen from across the room.
When Cody finished his side of the room was covered in dragon memorabilia, including a picture of Conan the Barbarian turning into a dragon.

Oh man, this is so sexy! Or, y'know, it would be if my sexual tastes were exactly inverse to what they actually are. Hm, my only choice is "getting to know each other", okay...leads to small talk..."Midterms", "Cody transfers to a different college...", or "Lubricous Erectus". Well, how can I resist a title like that?

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Julius took three steps back and raised his hands. then he shouted the words "LUBRICOUS ERECTUS!!!" imedediately cody felt the familiar sensation of and erection but there was something differenthis cock was dripping with lube that magically appeared when the spell was cast.

Cody unsure what to do asked "whats this for"
"I'm in the Mood for you know what" Julius smirked
"Oh well lets get it going then"
by then Cody had Julius bent ove the desk quickly guiding his love muscle in to his rump pounding away with rythmic pelvic thrusts, when he finally came blowing all over julius's ass. panting with ecstacy cody slumped to the ground reaching for Julius's Member, preparing it to swallow.
As Cody licked and teased and swallowed Julius's pulsating rod, Julius moaned and groaned with sheer pleasure, then in a moment of splendor Julius Sprayed a bucket load of sprog all over Cody's face.

BAD END

Okay guys I totally had my finger on the last page still so that didn't count. Let me try again. Maybe if he transfers out...oh cool, he has to become a magical creature to do it! That sounds more like rollicking good fun! Hm...do I become a satyr or go to the sparkling lakes? Enh, I don't care much for the bearded look, let's go for the lakes.

Quote :

"Now, magical places need magical creatures, which are hard to come by. The best way to
get one is to transform a mundane creature that's become imbued with magic, but there
aren't to many of those in the wild. Creatures who live on this campus, however, positively
glow with magic. That includes humans, most of whom are already here to become magi.
Those who don't care to, like you, are therefore in demand."

"So I've got the stronger bargaining position?"

"Indeed. Which is why I think you'll like the offer I'll make. We're working on a magical
lake to support water-aspected spells. We've established a community of merfolk who will
maintain it. You could become one of them. They work short hours and the underwater
home has plenty of amenities. And I might add, the mermaids are quite attractive, and
wouldn't mind meeting someone new." He winked. "So what do you say?"

O-oh God. I read this fic already, I don't wanna be Fishyroth D: B-but the only response is "Yes"...oh, good, there's another branch. I either get to be gender-changed to a mermaid or get bulked up...well, I already have girl-parts, so let's try the muscle path.

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"All right" Said Dr. Llewell with a smile. "You ready?" Cody nodded nervously. "Strip down and walk into the water" Blushing, he slowly disrobed as the mermaids giggled and then dove into the water. The change began immediately as gills erupted from his neck and his legs fused, pushing his genitals forward. Silver-blue scales grew from his hips down as a tail fin grew from the end of his new tail. He was now a fully functional merman.

BAD END?

Okay, that route changed our hero from a disgusting slob with a hairy gut into...a disgusting merman slob with a hairy gut. That's...a step up, I guess? Maybe I'll try the satyr path.

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As chubby as cody was he suddenly started to grow fatter. Cody didn't seem to notice as his shirt began to ride up his belly or as his rear began to hand out of his pants. Thick body hair covered Cody's body as he grew a bushy beard. Delighted, Cody's dick grew hard and firm until it poped open his fly as it grew thick and long. Cody's clothes started to fall apart. As his jeans tore away and melted into the forest his thick goat legs caught the cool air of the night. Cody clomped forward on hooves as his hairy ass ripped though his briefs. As Cody's hairy gut hung over his dick he reached under it and stroked it. Cody's features became a bit more neanderthal and his shirt fell off. Two small white horns emerged from his scalp and a tail pressed out from his rear.

Naked, he pressed forth into a grassy clearing where a great bonfire was list and many satyrs were feasting (among other things). His new brethren rushed forward to greet him.

BAD END

...okay, you know what? If I'm playing a CYOA, I do it because I want to be someone or something glamorous. Not a fat, hairy dorm hog. Maybe next time will be better...


ETA: Oh man, these would be awesome for the badfic readings, wouldn't they?

I can't work out if this is a kink group or a support group for the illiterate. The extracts snarked in the OP look like legolas by laura, except with slightly poorer punctuation.

Heh, I found one with some bonus racism! niche fetish personified

Quote :

"Rut you mean "guests?" You lash out again. "I no gonna "satisfy" anyrun. Beside, who rould wanna be rith prump rittle Asian pig who talk rike dis?" In the midst of your tirade you tried to make a conscious effort to control your body language and avoid anything involentary like the last time.

Quote :

"What you call me?" You indignitantly scream as you ball your fists and stomp your little foot, your belly and breasts bouncing from the force. "My name not Dayboohemay, I'm...I'm..." Frustration sets in as despite your best attempts you can't recall the name of the white male you once were. "Rhy I no remember real name, and rhy I talk rike stupid stereotype and you dont?"

Quote :

Your accent and vocabulary are tailored to make them feel like their in control of a naive young girl new to this land. You won't be able to speak or understand any real Asian dialects unless we allow you to, which assures you don't know more than we want you to. Finally you're behavior is simply a matter of command."

"Right now you're in your default mode: broken-english speech, exaggerated accent, and somewhat conscious control over your demeanor, and desires. But..." she says slyly as she turns you back toward the mirror, "watch this." She suddenly claps twice, "Debuhime, sweet."

A goofy smile suddenly finds its way on your face in spite of your best efforts to be angry. Stifling a schoolgirl like giggle you see yourself fidgeting and bouncing around.

"Who are you?" The woman asks you.

"I'm Debuhime Kino, age 19, I come here from Kanto one yeea ago, sorry my Engrish not so great yet, still rurning." The answer and shy grin that followed came out like second nature. You knew the answers were false, but weren't able to say or do anything else.

"And what do you like to do?" She continued.

"Rell, I rove food, and candy, though it make so big." You giggle and rub your belly despite yourself. "I also rike to spend time rit boys, make me feel pretty."

This is so blatant I'm almost inclined to call troll trying to make a point...oh I can't resist anyway SUCKY SUCKY FIVE DOLLAH oh God I'm a terrible person sorry

Whoa, I had totally forgotten about this site. I came across it yeaaaars ago when I decided to see what was so bad about the internet.

I wonder if they still have that terrible story with the roaches crawling up that girl's....

Changed my mind. There's a reason I forgot this site and I don't have enough curiosity and brain bleach left to find out.

O-oh God. Is this that site? I think that story was on the original GAFF.

Delcat wrote:

To clarify, this is a goldmine and very snarkworthy. I am only bothered by:
1) Unskilled trying to fuck with people trying to RP in peace. We are not /b/. If people want to pretend to turn into cows on a chatroom they set up for that purpose, that's their own business.
2) Unskilled trying to personal army people up via PM. Not even /b/ likes that shit.
3) Unskilled in general.

You have to admit though that vaginas-look-like-sea-slugs-and-sex-is-weird-and-creepy Unskilled being cybered at is damn hilarious.

Delcat wrote:

Quote :

From: unskilled78
To: Delcat
Posted: Today at 10:00 pm
Subject: Immediate Action requested. Quote message
Look at the Choose your own cancer thread in the webpage set. Please.

God, you are such a weed. Do we look like your personal army? Don't PM me again unless you're on fire, in which case I will want to be alerted so I can laugh at you.

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Unbrained found a new low.

Don't forget the cocktopus!

Miss Prince wrote:

totally unsexy Pokemon

Like all of them except Electrode?

Delcat wrote:

I ADMITTED TO A BUNCH OF EQUIVALENTLY KINKY FETISHES OVER IN THE NAME YOUR FETISH THREAD

Delcat are you hallucinating I don't see a post by you in that thread

Unless you mean the one on HOBF

And now, some [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Dramatic Readings!

The recording of last night's Skype session was lost due to Audacity bonking out, so I made these to make up for it. All three are branches of this page, so you might want to read that first. Links and text of the originals are in the files, and should show up on iTunes.

"Cock Tongue" (1:35)
"Dick Chest" (1:13)
"A Horsey Climax" (2:52)

Though I wish I had done one of "Bellybutton Pussy", as it contains perhaps the single least erotic sentences ever written:

Quote :

Your bellybutton will then turn into a functioning pussy, but everytime you lie it will
double in size. Oh, and by the way the new pussy will also be able to piss and poop.

I fully approve of your Dramatic Reading Voice. It's so perfectly unlike what you think should be reading these stories.

You can still do Bellybutton Pussy, by the way. THAT ISN'T AN EXTREMELY OBVIOUS HINT. NO, NOT AT ALL.

Quote :

Your bellybutton will then turn into a functioning pussy, but everytime you lie it will
double in size.

Uh-oh.