A Harmonian with a novel approach to exposition. NWS.

Can they be together?They hope so or do they? by HermionePotter1 has one of those titles that you just know is going to be attached to a badfic. This is no exception.

Our story begins with a very economical infodump.

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(hermione-dead,Ron-dead,Star-H&R's kid age:1,Harry and Ginny-going out for about 2 years).

This is the kind of thing that goes in the notes you use to plan your fic, not in the fic itself.

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Star-H&R's kid age:1

I know the wizarding world likes astronomical names, but this is just so ridiculously unimaginative. When you've got characters called Sirius, Bellatrix and Regulus running around, you're not going to get away with calling an OC simply "Star". Five minutes on Wikipedia would give you a better name. Rejected names for Ron and Hermione's non-canonical sprog included "Sun", "Moon" and "Planet".

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hermione-dead

Why's she even bothering with the pretence? It's a fic in the Harry/Hermione section posted by someone with a blatantly Harmonian username, of course she's going to turn out to be alive in the end.

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"Hi Ginny after 2 years I did it, did Ron leave you the key to come to our house".(harry is not gay.)

I don't think anyone was suggesting he was, were they? In fact, I don't think there are actually any other living male characters in the entire fic for him to be gay with, apart from Snape who's been sent to "askaban".

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"Ginny Sure w/e u desire is my command,"

"Stop talking in textspeak then," Ginny replied.

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"Want to have sex Harry." "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Because Harry is in the habit of replying to come-ons in Parseltongue.

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I love you."-Harry said."Harry I love you,too."(They really do love each other.)

HermionePotter1's delightfully subtle characterisation is telling us of the love between Harry and Ginny.

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Ginny used a spell with her wand"Removo-Clothso",both of there clothes r off.

I've no problem with Disrobing Charms because they've been in fanon ever since it occurred to fanfic writers that Potterverse characters might want to take their clothes off. In other words, 1997. Still, could she at least have chosen an incantation that's not utterly retarded?

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(sorry I can't write no lemon just a lime).
He starts to lick her clit.
She starts to suck his dick.

That's not even a lime. It's verbing the noun. The writer might as well have put "he drank his tea" for all the sensuality there is in this scene. Textbook IKEA Erotica. (warning: link goes you know where)

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So lovingly.
So much Love.

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Note:It's a crazy twist, I no.

And a totally predictable one. Like a Harmonian would have Harry and Ginny live happily ever after.

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Then Hermione came, and Harry and her kissed.

She came and then they started making out? Is the fic suddenly in time reversal?

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"I no u r a death eater Ginny, you killed Ron to pass the test,I wasn't
with Ron though, I wasn't in love that's not my kid, it's Cho's, We
never went out and you killed Cho."

Assuming that she means that Little Miss Unimaginative Name is the daughter of Harry and Cho (which would still be implausible but not quite as implausible as Ron and Cho, a pairing which I've never even seen examples of): I can't see a hypothetical offspring of Harry and Cho being remotely able to pass as a hypothetical offspring of Ron and Hermione. It's just not happening.

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NOT OVER RIGHT BACK in abit i'm goin over my mom's home mine is flooded soooo sorry

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny paid a visit with well-aimed Aguamenti spells.

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(hermione-dead,Ron-dead,Star-H&R's kid age:1,Harry and Ginny-going out for about 2 years).

What is this written in? Perl?

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So lovingly.
So much Love.

Well, that explains it.

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Then Harry gave up tied up Snape and gave him to askaban for ever.(not give up-surrender, give up trieng to kill Snape, he relises no
matter what voldimort is worse than Snape, and Snape isn't bad enough
for death.)

This whole fic feels like there's a step missing--the step between writing the outline and actually writing the story.

I also think some people could debate whether or not death is worse than being locked up with dementors, but I'm not looking for any serious philosophical thought in a fic that uses text speak.

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??????????????Review or don't read it, lol, Sorry,lol??????????????????????????????

But...you have to read the fic in order to see this note! I've started reading, now, and I'm not going to review. So what of your demands now, HermionePotter1?

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"Avada Caravada" blast at her and she's dead.Hermy did it.
"Mommy", their baby says.
"Hi honey,She's dead" they say.
Honey says"She a meannie,giggles".

Because Hermione using an Unforgivable on a defenseless person is so hilarious and cute.

And is Honey the little girl's actual name? Or is it Star? If you're going to put your outline notes in the actual fic, the least you can do is stick to them.

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

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So lovingly.
So much Love.

Well, that explains it.

Damnit, you beat me to it!

~Loving lovers love as loving lovers love~

Why do I think this a very thinly disguised scriptfic?

Likely because it reads like one. Well, the parts in human English do.

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Harry just defeted Voldimort

It's like defestrating, except when they throw you out of a garden party.

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"Hi Ginny after 2 years I did it, did Ron leave you the key to come to our house".(harry is not gay.)

Thanks for clarifying that.

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Ginny used a spell with her wand"Removo-Clothso",both of there clothes r off.

Is that from the Latin?

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She starts to suck his dick. He says"No more Ginny",

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(harry is not gay.)

Fits better there.

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Harry then ties up Ginny while she's asleep.

Hey, if that's what he's into. I don't wanna judge.

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Ginny used a spell with her wand"Removo-Clothso",both of there clothes r off.

Is that from the Latin?

According to The University of Notre Dame's Latin web site, it would be "ablego vestitus" (send away clothing) I may not have conjugated properly. (Good night, everyone!)

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Harry just defeted Voldimort

No one cares about Neville.

You know, for once, I want to call troll on this'un.

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Harry just defeted Voldimort

I read this as "deleted" and imagined that Harry had thrown a strop and unfriended Voldemort on facebook.

ZoZo wrote:

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Harry just defeted Voldimort

I read this as "deleted" and imagined that Harry had thrown a strop and unfriended Voldemort on facebook.

That, or Harry is a Cyberman.