Thief drops stolen coin collection into Coinstar machine

'Bout time we had some news that was "you dumb bastard" funny, rather than "Fuck Humanity" enraging.

Quote :

Police in Oregon are searching for a suspect who allegedly stole a rare coin collection from his own father and traded it in for pennies on the dollar at a local coin-counting machine.

On Christmas day, Dan Johnson Jr. and two friends allegedly broke into a shed on his father's property, where the coin collection was stowed. The burglars also reportedly stole tools and two safes, which had approximately 50 to 60 pounds of silver and jewelry inside.

... The thieves took the coin collection, worth several thousand dollars, and dropped it into a Coinstar machine, where they received $450. They were unsuccessful in their attempts to put the silver coins into the machine and eventually took those to a local bank.

And the cherry-on-top quote:

Quote :

So what explains the colossal miscue? Authorities say that the simplest explanation is the most persuasive one. "The obvious answer is that the crooks were idiots," Dan Johnson Sr. told local affiliate Fox 12. "To not know the value of what they had taken, just to get pocket change for it. Just really a stupid person. Makes me feel good he was a stupid person and didn't realize what he had."

And yes, he's pretty much talking about his own son, there.

Quote :

"It was an inheritance, which made it even worse because I lost an inheritance that was meant to go forward for my children and grandchildren," Johnson said of the collection that his son had purloined.

One thing Johnson did not specify is whether one of the actual intended beneficiaries was supposed to be the same son accused of stealing from him.

Not any more, I would say.

I've used Coinstar Machines to par down loose change, and I can just see these idiots putting the silver coins into the machine and not understanding why it keeps spitting them back out. THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT! IN LARGE LETTERS! Hell, the won't accept Canadian coins. It's a pretty good bet they're not going to accept actual silver.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I've used Coinstar Machines to par down loose change, and I can just see these idiots putting the silver coins into the machine and not understanding why it keeps spitting them back out. THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT! IN LARGE LETTERS! Hell, the won't accept Canadian coins. It's a pretty good bet they're not going to accept actual silver.

I've gotten it to accept pesos before

Nihilist wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

I've used Coinstar Machines to par down loose change, and I can just see these idiots putting the silver coins into the machine and not understanding why it keeps spitting them back out. THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT! IN LARGE LETTERS! Hell, the won't accept Canadian coins. It's a pretty good bet they're not going to accept actual silver.

I've gotten it to accept pesos before

My sister once dropped an amusement park token into a Coinstar machine to see what would happen. It took it.

There was a similar machine in the supermarket where I used to work. I hated it, and would encourage customers not to use it (Hell, if I had a moneybox that gave be 93p for every £1 I put in, I'd stop using it pretty sharpish. Especially when banks and post offices are free!)

I was also always nominated to work the thing when it broke... I found a commemorative £5 coin in there once... three or four fake lead coins. Some buttons. Loads of polish coins and euros...



...And three teeth.

WD40 wrote:

...And three teeth.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THEY LAUGHED AT ME, THEY CALLED ME INSANE

BUT I TOLD THEM, I GODDAMN TOLD THEM

THE TOOTH FAIRY IS REAL!!1!!

WD40 wrote:

...And three teeth.

Were those baby teeth, which could have gotten mixed in after being taken by the "tooth fairy", or were they adult teeth?

Wonder if he just wanted quick cash towards meth or something and couldn't be bothered trying to fence something easily identifyable/only of greater value to specific collectors who might recognise the source.

Lady Anne wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

I've used Coinstar Machines to par down loose change, and I can just see these idiots putting the silver coins into the machine and not understanding why it keeps spitting them back out. THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT! IN LARGE LETTERS! Hell, the won't accept Canadian coins. It's a pretty good bet they're not going to accept actual silver.

I've gotten it to accept pesos before

My sister once dropped an amusement park token into a Coinstar machine to see what would happen. It took it.

How much did she get?

Knorg wrote:

Wonder if he just wanted quick cash towards meth or something and couldn't be bothered trying to fence something easily identifyable/only of greater value to specific collectors who might recognise the source.

Possibly. However, that doesn't make him any less of an idiot.

Well, yes. That would be a given in any situation described using the phrase "cash towards meth".

Rabid Badger wrote:

Lady Anne wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

I've used Coinstar Machines to par down loose change, and I can just see these idiots putting the silver coins into the machine and not understanding why it keeps spitting them back out. THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT! IN LARGE LETTERS! Hell, the won't accept Canadian coins. It's a pretty good bet they're not going to accept actual silver.

I've gotten it to accept pesos before

My sister once dropped an amusement park token into a Coinstar machine to see what would happen. It took it.

How much did she get?

I'm not sure, but she sure thought it was funny.

Lady Anne wrote:

WD40 wrote:

...And three teeth.

Were those baby teeth, which could have gotten mixed in after being taken by the "tooth fairy", or were they adult teeth?

Adult teeth.

One of them had a filling.

Knorg wrote:

Wonder if he just wanted quick cash towards meth or something and couldn't be bothered trying to fence something easily identifyable/only of greater value to specific collectors who might recognise the source.

This. Theives getting pennies on the dollar for what they take is pretty typical. Like giant spools of copper wiring worth thousands of dollars get jacked from contruction sites and sold to recycling facilities for a buck a pound. Or copper tubing.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Knorg wrote:

Wonder if he just wanted quick cash towards meth or something and couldn't be bothered trying to fence something easily identifyable/only of greater value to specific collectors who might recognise the source.

This. Theives getting pennies on the dollar for what they take is pretty typical. Like giant spools of copper wiring worth thousands of dollars get jacked from contruction sites and sold to recycling facilities for a buck a pound. Or copper tubing.

Or why pawn shops have to run background checks on anyone pawning guns

although everything else seems to be fair game, you can pawn a stolen amp just fine, not like I've never stolen one

Nihilist wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Knorg wrote:

Wonder if he just wanted quick cash towards meth or something and couldn't be bothered trying to fence something easily identifyable/only of greater value to specific collectors who might recognise the source.

This. Theives getting pennies on the dollar for what they take is pretty typical. Like giant spools of copper wiring worth thousands of dollars get jacked from contruction sites and sold to recycling facilities for a buck a pound. Or copper tubing.

Or why pawn shops have to run background checks on anyone pawning guns

And why most legit scrapyards won't take copper from individuals (companies or licensed contractors only). At least that's the way it is locally. It's cut down on copper theft drastically. Well that, and a couple of knuckleheads gettting fried trying to steal the wiring from active transformers.

Well, he was about as smart as your average XKCD fan.

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Penguin wrote:

Well, he was about as smart as your average XKCD fan.

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That's an insult that can backfire terribly.

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Not really. Only complete morons give a shit about map format.

Penguin wrote:

Not really. Only complete morons give a shit about map format.

True. But only complete educated morons.