Luana Prime

I found this woman on DA and was just gonna snark one of her stories where she breastfeeds Transformers but then I browsed a bit and noticed it's worse than I thought. She has a whole web site devoted to her imaginary family. She says she has 52 fictional children, most are probably Transformers, but she also has kids like Willy Wonka and Buzz Lightyear.

In the left hand sidebar, she has several blogs run by "family members." I can't tell if this is some weird ass role play that took place somewhere or if she runs all of them. I hope it's the former just because I'm not sure I want to know what kind of RP involves paid ads for loans being blurted by a 7-year-old robot. Some of the links are dead and most haven't been updated in a while, but neither has the main site.

The content on the web page is worse than the breast feeding thing. Basically, it's like "My Inner Life" if Link's Queen were into Transformers. She has a blog detailing her imaginary marriage to a Transformer. Ever wondered what it's like to give birth to a robot? Me neither. Bolding hers.

Quote :

Just when I thought I could relax a little, I felt Dartride’s door wings poking inside again, but this time I felt really uncomfortable, like if I had just peed in my pants: my baby’s door wings had broken my waters
[...]
Then I saw Doc handing the tool to Rhinox, who inserted it in the birth canal to pull Dartride out. Just for a second… and then… Dartride literally ‘flew out’ of my body and Rhinox caught him just in time.

If it's literal, why the quotes? Then again, I'm not sure I want to know.

...Harley???

I am so fucking confused. Why would a robot need milk... how would a robot breastfeed... Why would robots give birth. I don't even...

She seems extremely enthusiastic about all this, I wonder what made her drop it all of a sudden?

Her self insert is human but she does write about robots giving birth and even mpreg.

This domain is more active. I guess those other blogs are all hers, judging by the characters page.

...Why would a robot be given birth to...? I'm even more confused now.

....

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm in the "Please let this be roleplay" camp. Because the crazy this takes is too much for me to take seriously.

And as for her sudden drop in activity, has anyone considered that maybe some caring relatives decided to take her to some nice doctors?

"Jazz's" website is "luvable.info"

Quote :

There is nothing I could do that would ever be enough to make up for the lack of blogging of these last five months. I have truly failed with Luvable.info, and if I’m not giving it up is only because I still deeply believe in it, in what this blog has meant to me over the years.

BELIEVE IN LUVABLE.INFO.

NichoMas wrote:

I am so fucking confused. Why would a robot need milk... how would a robot breastfeed... Why would robots give birth. I don't even...

She seems extremely enthusiastic about all this, I wonder what made her drop it all of a sudden?

Someone finally talked her into taking her medication on a regular basis? Though if I'd created something like this while off my anti-psychotics, I'd damn well go back and delete it all once I got my head on straight.

According to the other site I linked to, she's engaged IRL, but unlike her fictional hubby, he doesn't seem to have a web page.

Edit: Added a link to where I mentioned mpreg in a previous post and then I went ahead and tried snarking a fic.

More Edit: All of the other blogs are totally hers. It's mentioned on the site disclaimer

Quote :

Many of my characters (my husband, children and friends in the imaginary world) are role-played by me on other sites

Uh.

Question Time: If you were a man and knew your future wife was obsessed with giant, shape-changing robots, had 52 adopted imaginary children (many of whom are giant, shape-changing robots, with a sprinkling of fictional characters), and wrote stories about giving birth to, and breast feeding, robot babies, would you marry her anyway?

Rabid Badger wrote:

Question Time: If you were a man and knew your future wife was obsessed with giant, shape-changing robots, had 52 adopted imaginary children (many of whom are giant, shape-changing robots, with a sprinkling of fictional characters), and wrote stories about giving birth to, and breast feeding, robot babies, would you marry her anyway?

If I ever became attracted to Harley, I like to think that my friends understand my wishes well enough to put me down.

I've been poking around some of the other blogs. Some have actually updated recently. This one says Mary Sue had another baby in September. this one adds this detail.

Quote :

Aurora's a big baby, and she almost 'killed' mom.

I wonder when we'll get the full story.

This blog saved me from doing some math

Quote :

My mom was only 13 years old when she got together with my father; she was a child still, yet she deeply loved me as her son already.

Holy. Crap. This takes some dedication. Too bad it's batshit dedication.

Quote :

My mom has been a wonderful young mother to me for twelve years already, and she’s going to be a wonderful mother forever.

I'm so glad she takes time to write such fucking creepy praises about herself.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Question Time: If you were a man and knew your future wife was obsessed with giant, shape-changing robots, had 52 adopted imaginary children (many of whom are giant, shape-changing robots, with a sprinkling of fictional characters), and wrote stories about giving birth to, and breast feeding, robot babies, would you marry her anyway?

She's also nice enough to post her real name on her sites, so none of this is hard to find. The more I look at this, the more I'm not really sure what to think.

Penguin wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Question Time: If you were a man and knew your future wife was obsessed with giant, shape-changing robots, had 52 adopted imaginary children (many of whom are giant, shape-changing robots, with a sprinkling of fictional characters), and wrote stories about giving birth to, and breast feeding, robot babies, would you marry her anyway?

If I ever became attracted to Harley, I like to think that my friends understand my wishes well enough to put me down.

Wouldn't it just be easier to take out Harley? I'm fairly sure the board could raise enough money to hire the best contract killer available.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Wouldn't it just be easier to take out Harley? I'm fairly sure the board could raise enough money to hire the best contract killer available.

I was already on a CIA database for my "death to America" schtick (not to mention my new avatar), but I think you owe the rest of the board an apology.

TheHermit wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Wouldn't it just be easier to take out Harley? I'm fairly sure the board could raise enough money to hire the best contract killer available.

I was already on a CIA database for my "death to America" schtick

For some reason, that doesn't surprise me Hermit.

Quote :

Question Time: If you were a man and knew your future wife was obsessed with giant, shape-changing robots, had 52 adopted imaginary children (many of whom are giant, shape-changing robots, with a sprinkling of fictional characters), and wrote stories about giving birth to, and breast feeding, robot babies, would you marry her anyway?

As someone whose girlfriend has a tendency to trend towards the immature and/or the odd, I'm going to say that there's a possibility that she's a quite likable, if eccentric person in real life. At first I was going to agree with you wholeheartedly that this woman is completely batshit and must not have a normal social life at all. But than I remembered that my own girlfriend has been known to dress all in purple, paint flowers on her face, wear ivy and baby's breath in her hair, and than when people ask her about it, tell them "I feel like being a garden today!".

It may be a bit different in this case, because this woman has built up an entire fantasy "family" and "husband" (and my girlfriend doesn't write shitty fanfiction ) and role-plays the entire thing online. But than, it seems like the site doesn't get updated a lot, so it doesn't seem like this fantasy world takes up too much of her time. From the looks of it, she's probably a healthy person with an incredibly vibrant, if odd, fantasy life.

But than, sometimes I'm just weirdly and randomly optimistic.

Regardless, her fanfiction is still shit, though.