So I've spent the last several hours reading shitty Glee fanfic, even though I'm still not quite done with finals. *sigh* This one was a doozy though. Keep in mind that it has 40+ reviews over on the Pit, all of them positive. May I present to you Faithfully, where Rachel and Puck's marriage is a series of horribly sexist stereotypes, and the rest of the Glee cast are her domestic servants. Oh, and commas and apostrophes are completely nonexistent.
- Quote :
- "I'm just saying if you're going to wear a low cut dress then let me touch you. I am your husband." Puck said. Rachel was being a bitch today but damn she looked hot. She was wearing a low cut dress that went just above her ass.
A low cut dress that "went" just above her ass...first of all, "low cut" usually refers to the front of a dress. Nothing was said about Rachel being a genetic mutant whose breasts are sprouting out of her back, so I'm going to assume the author meant "open backed" dress. But, does this mean the dress was cut above her ass? Honey, that's called a shirt.
- Quote :
- "Rachel tell me you didn't have another fit in public." Quinn said.
"Puck tried to grab my behind in public so I simply slapped him." Rachel said.
"He's your husband give him a little." Quinn said.
Clearly if your husband is being an arsehole and treating you like his property in a public place, the solution is to let him! Abandoning your self-respect is the only way to make your marriage work. Remember that, kids.
- Quote :
- Rachel was awful with kids. Beth wasn't planned at all. She was born a few months ago. Puck and Rachel only stayed together for the baby. Oh and for the media.
A. If Rachel's a Broadway star with money out the wazoo, presumably she could support one single child on her own income. But this story needs *teh dramaz* so let's trot out that old tired stereotype that a miserable family home life is better than a shameful stigmatized life with a single parent, right?
B. Who the hell stays together for the media?!
- Quote :
- However the media and everyone else thinks you're a bigger diva than Jennifer Aniston."
...Because getting upset with your husband for his chauvinistic behavior makes you a diva, apparently. Also, since when is Jennifer Aniston a diva? lol "Throwing in random celebrity names makes mah fic hip and relevant!!1"
- Quote :
- Rachel I told you that dress was awful to wear to the Grammy's and you know how Puck gets when you wear those dresses." Kurt said.
If you don't want to be sexually assaulted then cover yourself up you whore! Because men are such total horndogs that they simply *can't control themselves* in the presence of a provocatively dressed woman! How could you expect otherwise? I will grant that this may be in-character for Puck, but
come on.Understandably Rachel gets fed up with her house servants blaming her attire for her husband's unwanted sexual advances and leaves to go drown her sorrows in a life-threatening amount of alcohol. Her servants, however, feel that she's in need of an "attitude adjustment." Meaning that they think she needs to have an affair with another horndog to realize that her husband's behavior is
totally normal! - Quote :
- "What If I knew a guy that could push Rachel's buttons in a good way?" Kurt askeduKuK
haha sorry u gaise mah cat wanted to help write mah shitty fanfic!
- Quote :
- "It's five shots of the stronger stuff you got." Rachel said.
Five shots?! I don't know about you guys, but if I took five shots in one sitting there would be epic mess. I'm thinking a 12 year old, or a total shut-in, wrote this garbage.
- Quote :
- He would be cuter if he wasn't a bartender.
Apparently your physical attractiveness is directly correlated to your station in life. Hence the rich folk are gorgeous and the peons who serve them are
ugly fucks with no prospects in life. This sounds like the world according to Paris Hilton.
- Quote :
- She gave Finn her credit card and left.
Yes, a Broadway star with money out the wazoo just hands out her credit cards! No worries though, those fugly peons are also too stupid to commit credit card fraud. This dreck goes on for another eight chapters, next one coming up...at some point.
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