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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:46 pm

^ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo. My bad
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:12 am

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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:22 pm

Quick Recap:

Bullshit padding happens, shortly followed by Xtreeme being called to a warehouse where some dude is waiting.

The dude asks Xtreeme where hsi parents are, and I missed an opportunity to use this:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Instead opting for the Monty Python route.

Anyway...

Quote :
He and Rachel were engaged in between the sheets with one another and have been all weekend, as now she rested her head oh his bare chest.

She noticed the look on his face and had to ask.

Marvel Girl:”Foetal Alcohol Syndrome?”

Xtreeme “Yeah...”

Quote :
"I met my father's worst enemy a few days ago." he said.

She looked worried for him. "You mean the renegade from his home planet and the guy who killed your grandparents?" she asked.

"Same one, he died the last time my dad fought him but somehow he's back and wanted revenge on my father but he couldn't do that so he's taking it out on me." he told her as she listened on.

"But when he made a deal for me to tell him where my dad was and in return he'd leave me alone…I told him the truth he was dead, he didn't accept it and
decided he would make my life a living hell and hurt all those I love." hearing that Rachel didn't know what to say as she just embraced him.

Xtreeme, you are supposed to be a superhero. To quote Luke Cage from the recent New Avengers #7:

Cage: “Raise your hand if any of you have ever had the bad guy threaten all holy hell on you before he died, went to jail, disappeared, vanished, or just in
general felt like lipping off...”

New Avengers: *All raise hands*

Cage: “Now raise your hand if you can think of at least ten times that has happened to you in the last calendar year...”

Quote :
"[...]I want you and the others to stay out of it, let me deal with this, I can stop him whatever he's planning." Connor interrupted her as he wanted to keep her, his friends and the kids out of it.

Uhh... Xtreeme, if you wanted to keep these people safe then, well, you should either:

1, come clean to everyone so they can all prepare.

Or

2, fuck off somewhere else.

Quote :
He put his hands to her face and looked deep into her emerald eyes. "Rachel…l love you, but I can't let everyone and you get hurt because of me, because of my family's problems, I need you to not say anything about this,

Keep everyone in the dark, unpreparedness is the best policy.

The Illuminati tried that a while back with the Infinity Gems. So, how’s that policy working out?

Ohhhh... Riiiiiight

Meanwhile,
in Manhattan!

Quote :
both of the beings sent back to Earth were looking for Xtreme but decided to take in the sights while looking around.

Coz when you’ve recently arrived from space to aid a half-alien saviour in his ultimate battle against the superentity who murdered his planet of origin, be sure to visit the fascinating Rockefeller Center...

Quote :
"Man the world has changed a lot since I was last here." the black suited one said as he was now wearing a white shirt with a brown jacket

scratch Okay, phonebox costume changes are one thing, but this...?

Quote :
"How come?" the gold and white robed one asked as she was wearing a green t shirt with a blue jacket, grey pants and white walking shoes on.

You too?

Anyway... A bizarre conversation eventually lets slip this little plot nugget:

Quote :
"I want to see my daughter."

Awww, Christ.. there’s a girl Xtreeme out there... Xtremmetté.

Meanwhile,
back at the Mansion!

Quote :
Using his super speed Connor arrived at the Mansion holding Rachel in his arms as he gently lowered her down.

"Can we please not super speed to work everyday…it's making me nauseous." Rachel pleaded to her boyfriend.

Why am I here..? What am I doing to myself..?

Quote :
"Okay so next time you drive here and I'll super speed here and we'll see who's faster." Connor challenged his girlfriend.

I used to enjoy reading fanfiction...

Quote :
"Okay since you put it that way…either we stop super speeding to work everyday or you get none of this." she made the ultimatum to him.

He went wide eyed at that statement. "You're gonna blackmail me with no sex, just to get to places like a normal person?" the half Zargonian said.

Is this your fault WGW? Or was I doomed to do this with you or not?

Quote :
"In other words yes, now either we start driving to work or you won't get to see the girls anymore!" the mutant made clear to him.

He knew she was serious as she gave him the look…yes the look, the one stare that put fear into his heart.

"Fine! You win, we'll drive from now on, but it better be worth it." he said giving in.

I could be watching TV about now...

Quote :
She smiled at him and gave him a kiss. "That wasn't hard now was it? And besides tonight, I have some really…" she whispered into his ear.

I could, you know! I’m sure there’d be something on.

Quote :
OH…OH…OOOOOHHHH! Connor mentally said to himself hearing all those things she wanted to do with him…what guy wouldn't say no to that?

"C'mon we're gonna be late." she said walking to the mansion as he just watched her.

What do you mean “Coping techniques”? I’m not avoiding any... Oh... right...

Quote :
Masters you are a weak and needy man!

But damn she made an offer I couldn't refuse!

You've taken on, cyborgs, commandos, armies and evil villains and yet one woman makes you give up?

But…OOOOOHHHH…she's one of a kind.

One of a kind, in the Marvel Universe? You mean ‘one of a kind’ except for her recognised alternates in Universes 905, 8545, 9112, 21993, 58163, and 77995.
Hell, I even doubt she’s unique in THIS universe (616) considering she’s not native to it in the first place.

Quote :
It was now the mid afternoon and Connor had just finished another session with the Seniors.

"Mister Masters."

Now that’s a superhero name...

Anyway, Connor receives a message that someone is waiting for him in reception.

Quote :
He made his way to reception and saw there was a woman waiting for him.

"Connor Masters?" she asked.

"Name's Dushon Mandic, what can I do ya for?" Connor joked.

"I see this is your sense of humour, I came here to warn you." she said.

“Don’t ever make another joke again. The future of comedy depends on it... Also the safety of your testicles. Try and make another crack and I’ll kick them so
hard they’ll wind up hanging out your ears.”

Quote :
"About wha-Hold it right there! If your with that nut job, you can tell Azrael if he comes near anyone here or me I will make him regret the day he
threatened everything I hold dear!" Connor stated.

*blinkblink*

So, out of nowhere, as Connor Masters, to a complete stranger, mentions the name of Xtreeme’s as yet undisclosed arch-nemesis. This after he spent several
paragraphs explaining how it would be best if no one ever, even those closest to him, should ever know anything about him. For their own protection.

You’re a fucking idiot, Xtreeme.

Quote :
She looked at him in shock but guessed why he was on edge. "I'm not with Azrael, I'm here to help, my friend asked me to see you personally." she
said.

SHE KNOWS WHO AZRAEL IS! Xtreeme! It’s Morphin’ Time! Kick her ass!

Wow! I didn’t think cronies were that thick! She just out and out responded, with no hesitation, to the name of Xtreeme’s secret arch-nemesis, to the face of
Xtreeme’s secret alter-ego, no less! That’s like, several million degrees of incompetence right there! Even Reed Richard is facepalming at this!

Quote :
"Who are you?" he asked as he studied her features, she wore a green t shirt with a blue jacket, grey pants and white walking shoes on and her face was
covered by a scarf over her hair and the sun glasses covering her eyes.

Uhhh. Xtreeme? Helloo? Obvious villainess possessing knowledge she should not... Umm... Hulk up? Shazam? This looks like a job for..?

Take her down, you moron!

Quote :
"Here take this…If you want to know who sent me." she said as he looked at what was in his hand.

"Listen I also need you to give this to a Ms. Summers." she asked producing a golden necklace of a bird of some kind.

"I'll make sure that Ms. Grey gets this." he said assuring her.

You deserve everything that’s coming to you, Xtreeme, you know that, right?

Quote :
As she exited outside she was met by him who was awaiting her outside the gates of the mansion.

Hehehe... I dunno why but “She was met by him who was awaiting her” just makes me laugh. It’s almost biblical. “I am sent by he who is called I am!” hehehe!

Quote :
"I gave him it." she said.

"Good at least it'll give him a warning, but I hope to god he doesn't do anything stupid." he said.

Don’t hope too hard.

Connor grabs Rachel leaving her Drama class:

Quote :
"I had a visitor, a woman she gave me a message from a friend of hers not fight Azrael but she gave me this." he said showing her the holodisk given to
him.

scratch

He hands over the necklace:

Quote :
"This…it's…but…how…did…" she looked at it in shock unable to say any sentence.

Rachel are you okay? She said it's sentimental to you." he asked.

"This necklace…I got it for my mom on her last birthday." she said as Connor made the realisation of the woman's identity.

"Rachel was that woman…your mom?" he asked.

Oh great... Bring Jean Grey into this mess. As if this fic wasn’t causing me enough hell.

Meanwhile,
Back at Xtreeme’s apartment!

Quote :
Connor was back at his apartment and had the holodisk on him and placed it down on his coffee table, he took a seat and played it.

An image came up and the image shocked him.

Trollface

After Connor closes the popup, however, the holodisk presents a blue jedi ghost of his dad:

Quote :
"Hello son it's been a while, I know you must be thinking what I'm doing contacting you when I'm not even allowed too? Well the rules changed and…I
know this is not the best time to talk about us, my main reason for this is to warn you."

Connor could not believe it was his father, from beyond the Nexus.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What’s this Nexus bollocks anyway, I thought the dude was dead?

Quote :
"Do not fight Azrael, he's too strong and too clever even for you.

That ain’t too much of a stretch.

Quote :
Azrael is the same renegade Zargonian that killed my parents, he did die after a quantum singularity swallowed him whole but somehow he's returned
after years."

So... He didn’t die then. Jees, you managed to contradict yourself in the same sentence. I can see where Xtreeme got his smarts from.

Meanwhile,
In Drama class!

Quote :
Rachel was teaching class as it was a quick reading on Shakespeare's Hamlet as they kept on reading a few scenes.

*this author’s prose*

Quote :
"Thou does not taketh thy honour and besmirch it?" Laurie spoke in an old time accent.

"Aye thee do and thy will regain thou honour with a duel." Paige spoke in the same accent.

Anyone wanna tell me where these lines come from... They don’t seem to be from any version of Hamlet I know of.

Quote :
As then someone was clapping from the classroom door and they all turned to see a tall but cloaked figure as the clapping continued.

Guess who? It’s Azrael. And he’s here looking for Xtreeme.

Do you know why and how he got here? Because Xtreeme lives and works here, that’s why. And the school is incapable of stopping him because they’re not
aware of who he is!

And now Azrael has his sights on both Xtreeme’s girlfriend, and a bunch of innocent mutant children. All because Xtreeme was chronically incompetent and
irresponsible.

OUR HERO!!

Thankfully, Azrael lets the kids go, and faces off with Marvel Girl alone. Marvel Girl, no doubt, is sending out a psychic S.O.S. to anyone and everyone in the tri-
county area about now though, so she only needs to keep the guy occupied of a short time.

Quote :
"I'm not going to let you hurt any of these children, so you better leave now…or else." she gave him a choice.

Psychic S.O.S? Rachel? Hello?

Quote :
something shot out of [Azrael’s] hand and it hit Rachel in the neck.

She held her neck. "What the he-uh…" she fell to the ground unconscious.

Azrael approached her and picked her up as he cradles her unconscious body and looked at her.

Oh, yeah... Xtreeme’s idiocy is contagious. Forgot about that.

Quote :
As then the door got kicked in and in came Logan claws bearing. "Let her go bub or I'll make shish kebab outta ya!" Logan warned him.

Shocked Wolverine is in character! WOOOOT!

Quote :
Azrael just gave a light chuckle to that remark.

"Meta human, do yourself a favour stay out of this, this does not concearn you." Azrael warned Logan who was itching to attack.

Doubly so, after having been called a ‘Meta-Human’. He’s a Mutant and proud!

Quote :
As then behind Logan in came Scott, Emma, Kurt and Ororo.

Psychic S.O.S. or plot convenience. You decide.

Quote :
"Rachel!" Scott shouted seeing his daughter unconscious in the arms of some figure. "Let her go now!" he demanded.

"If you want her back tell the Son of X'ondir to meet me at Warehouse nine off the coast of Brooklyn, tell him to come alone if you or anyone else appears…I'LL
SNAP HER NECK!" Azrael said as then he just punched a huge hole in the wall of the classroom and floated.

"He has one hour to comply." he said and in a clkoud of smoke he disappeared.

"NO!" Scott shouted as the mysterious man kidnapped his daughter.

"Scott…we'll get her back." Emma said trying to comfort him.

"Find Xtreme…he has to save her." Scott said.

NO SCOTT! You can come up with better plans than that! It’s Xtreeme’s fault Azrael is here in the first place, and he didn’t even bother to warn you about him!
Even if Xtreeme was a friend, you’d kick his ass to Genosha and back for that!

Meanwhile,
somewhere else!

Quote :
Connor was walking back to the school as he did not feel like speeding back anytime soon.

Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?

[...]

Wish I never had these powers!

Connor mentally told himself as it was something he always had wished to be…normal.

YOU WORK IN A SCHOOL FOR MUTANTS, YOU SELF-OBSESSED, SELF-ABSORBED, INSONSIDERATE, STUPID, INCOMPETANT, CHILD!

Iceman calls him, and tells him of Rachel’s kidnapping and Azrael’s ultimatum. Connor think this over.

Quote :
Dad told me not to confront him.

Rachel's life is in danger…SCREW WHAT DAD SAYS!

Xtreeme’s Dad wrote:
but I hope to god he doesn't do anything stupid.

Warned you.

Quote :
Connor ignoring his father's advice and just super speeded to an empty alleyway and transform into Xtreme as he just flew off to meet his father's
nemesis.

*This author’s PROSE!!*

Meanwhile,
In Warehouse nine off the coast of Brooklyn, where all this shit usually takes place...

Quote :
Azrael was standing stiocly awaiting the arrival of Xtreme

Oh, bless you, author, you tried to use a new word.

You can have a silver star for effort.

Quote :
[Rachel] began to wake up as her eyes opened to see she was tied up and tried to use her powers.

"Don't even think about it, that collar is designed to prevent you using your powers." Azrael said.

Collar of Plot Contrivance. I’d call bollocks on this, but the comics uses them all the time.

Xtreeme arrives and the scene is set. Helpless girl tied up in a chair and our hero stalks in to stare down with his mortal foe. You can imagine the scene right?

So can this author... But this author is, well, he’s this author isn’t he...

Quote :
Xtreme came into visual as both Zargonians were only feet away from one another and Connor walked towards him as the renegade just stood there
awaiting him.

Kinda runs detrimental to the scene when your prose is, well, how would you describe this style of prose? Ummm Incompetent.

Anyway, Xtreeme charges Azrael, only to revealing to everyone that Azrael is, in fact, a shapeshifting villan called ‘Nobody’!

Dun-Dun-DUNNNNNN!!!

Quote :
Azrael changed and turned into a man who was all dark blue and had no face whatsoever.

"Clever to see past my disguise but like your father…clueless." Nobody said as Xtreme was confused at that.

As then out of nowhere someone snuck up behind him and grabbed him by the throat as he struggled to get free.

"Now Son of X'ondir…let's begin your torment." it was Azrael and he had in his hand a small shard of Zorkin and impaled it right into his abdomen.

Oh no! Zorkin! That’s like Kryptonite to... Wait... Why isn’t it hurting Azrael?

Quote :
"AAAAHHHH" Xtreme shouted in agony as he was dropped to the ground as he was now vulnerable.

And Azrael? He’s not bothered by it at all?

No, of course not... Fuck continuity!

Quote :
"In the end…you…are…just…a man." as Azrael picked him up had his body up in the air and dropped him back first onto his knee as the sound of his back
possibly braking.

Wait...

Quote :
"AAAAHHH!" Xtreme was in more pain and was at the mercy of the villains.

WAIT!

Big scary villain breaks the back of a hero...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And Azrael...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Colbert

Back at the mansion.

Quote :
The mansion was in chaos as they tried to get order with the students and staff as Scott was trying to calm them down.

"Alright everyone let's be calm about this, I know I should be panicking but I'm not and hopefully Xtreme is on his way to saving Rachel so until then we-"

Oh, Scott... What has this fic done to you...

Jean Grey appears, and learns of Rachel’s kidnapping, and where Xtreeme has gone. She runs off with, presumably, Xtreeme’s dad in tow.

Quote :
"I know where they are, he's got Rachel!" Jean said worried for the safety of her daughter.

Aawww... I was hoping the daughter was gonna be a female Xtreeme. I mean, I thought up Xtremmetté and everything...

Quote :
"We'll save her and my son…hold on tight." he said as they flew off at super speed hoping to save their children in time.

Ugh...

Well, that’s it for now. Stay tuned.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:40 pm

Quote :
"Okay so next time you drive here and I'll super speed here and we'll see who's faster." Connor challenged his girlfriend.

"How about I throw up on you en route and we... what the hell are we talking about?"
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Happenstance
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:56 am

Oh god this is so amazingly bad.

The vocab fail, the grammar fail, the Shakespeare fail, the Scott fail, the Rachel fail, the "let's bring Jean back for no reason fail"...I could go on forever. D:

Quote :

As then out of nowhere someone snuck up behind him and grabbed him by the throat as he struggled to get free.
"Now Son of X'ondir…let's begin your torment." it was Azrael and he had in his hand a small shard of Zorkin and impaled it right into his abdomen.
"AAAAHHHH" Xtreme shouted in agony as he was dropped to the ground as he was now vulnerable.
"In the end…you…are…just…a man." as Azrael picked him up had his body up in the air and dropped him back first onto his knee as the sound of his back
possibly braking.

Quote :
"AAAAHHH!" Xtreme was in more pain and was at the mercy of the villains.

And this scene is pretty much entirely taken from Superman Returns, if I'm not mistaken...
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Sun Mar 13, 2011 6:49 am

How can you survive this amount of pain? I know nothing about X-Men and I have to take breaks every ten minitues to avoid destroying my computer.

Your snark is beautifully done though.
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:15 am

Not to depress any of you guys, but I’ve been having a really shitty past few months, and it looks like it’ll get a fair bit
shittier for a fair amount of time before it all starts washing off. However, in the short run I’ve managed to work myself
a little breathing space and I decided to pass the time by skimming over a few fanfics and offering my (admittedly
dubious) advice to the occasional writer.

Well, guess what I found...

Quote :
Sorry for the long delay but my other fics needed to be updated and got back on this as soon as possible.

Two new chapters from the unique pen of TheXman99
detailing the continuing adventures of Connor C'ondir ‘Xtreme’ Masters.


Well, seeing as though:

last update wrote:
Wed Sep 01, 2010

We’ll have a quick recap:

Connor Masters has gotten himself a job as an IT teacher for the Xavier Institute. Little do they know, however, that he
is, in fact, the alien superhero XTREEME!!1!

Xtreeme’s major concern in being a superhero is keeping his identity secret, something that he fails to do right in the
first chapter when Prof. X reads his mind and uncovers everything. However, the good professor, promises to cover for
Xtreeme, going so far as to install a psychic blocking device preventing other psychics from learning his secret. Xavier
later disappears from the fic never to be seen or heard from again, and considering what happens next, I’m calling
Skrull on the prof.

Soon after, several of Xtreeme’s old villains show up, seemingly with the knowledge that Xtreeme is working at the X-
Mansion, prompting a series of terrorist attacks, bombs and attempted kidnappings. Clearly these villains were provided
with insider knowledge thanks to the Skrull-Prof.

One side effect of Xtreeme’s powers is that he drains intelligence, coolness and badassery from people around him,
severly weakening the X-Men to the point that the combined force of Wolveriene, Cyclops, Havok, Nightcrawler, Iceman,
Wolfsbane, Marvel Girl, Emma Frost, The Three-in-One, Pixie, Hellion, Husk, Jubilee and Moonstar were incapable of
driving off a human attack squad on the mansion’s own grounds. Xtreeme is the ultimate stealth sabotage device.

After several encounters, and after revealing his identity to several X-Men (Who are all too affected by Xtreeme’s idiocy
aura to take action on the revelation) Xtreeme discovers that his dad, the mighty Nightshroud, who was a member of
S.H.I.E.L.D, The Avengers, X-Force, and The Ultimates, isn’t dead, as everyone thought. Neither, it turns out was Jean
Grey. That last bit, at least, was in no way surprising.

Now... If you think that a non-mutant member of X-Force is weird, or that a S.H.I.E.L.D. member has anything to do with
Mutants at all, then you haven’t noticed that the Ultimates exist in a completely different continuity.

Our last episode ended with Xtreeme getting his back broken by Arch-Nemesis Azrael who had kidnapped Xtreeme’s
mind-crushed girlfriend Marvel Girl. Xtreeme’s dad and Marvel Girl’s mom (ish) are now on their way to clean up their
kiddies respective messes.


Quote :
"Now Son of X'ondir, I will make the one you one watch as you die slowly and painfully, she will see you for the
coward that you are when you beg for mercy." Azrael said as Connor was dragged off along with Rachel.

Our author’s attention to detail and wonderful prosaic style has not dimishisned in the time between chapters 16 and 17.

Quote :
They got dragged into a warehouse as then Azrael used a remote of sorts which opened am underground
entrance of sorts and dragged Connor down there by his feet which had a rope tied onto it, [of sorts] the room they
were in was white and was padded.

Huh... Maybe what has actually happened is Xtreeme’s last dose of Thorazine has worn off and he’s slowly coming to
realise his actual surroundings.

Quote :
[Rachel Grey] tried not to watch but it was all too hard not to as she only heard screams of pain from Connor.

"STOP!PLEASE!WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE TO YOU?" she asked trying to get some mercy from the villian.

I’m still struggling trying to figure out 1, Why the Zorkin (Xtreeme-flavoured kryptonite) is only affecting Xtreeme, while
Azrael, who is also a Zargonian, is unaffected.

Spoiler:
 

Quote :
"It's not him I'm after, if I can't have the father…the son will suffer for his sins, now tell me which part should I
cut off first?" Azrael asked as she just looked absolutely terrified at that statement.

“It’s not Xtreeme I want to extract my vengeance from, it’s his dad, Nightshroud. I can’t get him because I’ve already
killed him, so instead I’m going to beat on Xtreeme to get my vengeance for something that I’m not sure of because the
death of Nightshroud kinda implies my own victory in that instance, but fuck it, being a meaningless bag of clichés has
gotten me this far and I’m not giving up on it now.”



Seriously, can anyone figure out what this guy’s motivation is? Or try to translate what he says there?

We people who hold in us enough arrogance, confidence or experience to tell other people how to perform an action
right usually collect a selection of oneliners to summarise the intricacies, complexities and nuances of whatever skill we
have turned our attentions to. One such line applied to many forms of storytelling, be it literature, film or sequential art,
is “Show, don’t tell.” This works towards both economy of presentation and consumption of the artefact, while also
guaranteeing a degree of investment of the audience of the artefact. When you figure out for yourself that person A is
cross because of a particular turn of phrase, facial expression or physical action, rather than have a disconnected God-
voice tell you that person A is cross, you develop a connection with person A, right?

What’s all that getting at? Well...

Quote :
"I've got an idea." Jean said.

She used her telepathy to locate Rachel but in a city full of people it would take a considerable amount of time but she
knew time was not on their side.

Jean searched for Rachel's telekinetic energy and was able to get a lock but it was faint.

"I have something, it's faint but it's coming from in there, they must've disabled her powers somehow." Jean said as she
pointed to a warehouse.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Well, Nightshroud and Jean Grey find their way to warehouse nine off the coast of Brooklyn, and begin their sneaking
mission.

Quote :
"Ok I'll go first see if he's prepared any surprises for us." Nightshroud said as he walked into the front entrance
of the warehouse

Beginning virtuous mission...

Quote :
"The coast is cl-"

He got cut off from his hearing as it picked up the sound of a mechanism turning and could see from where as he saw
something sharp and were about to come flying at him.

A surveillance camera?!?

Quote :
As they sprang out he got into a defensive stance ready to take the blows but he saw that they stopped in mid
air of firing and looked behind to see Jean was using her telekinesis to hold back the objects and just dropped them to
the ground like toothpicks.

Alex looked behind him seeing that Jean was as powerful as they said and put her hands to her hips.

Alex? Who the fuck is Alex?

I had to go back all the way to Chapter 12 to remind myself that Alex is Connor’s dad’s name.

Quote :
"Oh god…it's Connor…Azrael's about to…to…CUT HIS EYES OUT!" Jean described now feeling her daughter's
trauma.

Snake? SNAAAAAAKEEEE!!!

Quote :
Alex was now pissed and he used his mask's internal system to find them as there was something coming from
below them as he just took his fist and just brought it hard into the ground punching a hole in it as he saw what was
below and flew on down.

[...]

"X'ondir! At last…I knew you would come." Azrael said

What? No he didn’t! He was convinced that Nightshroud was dead less than a paragraph ago...

Quote :
"Ah-ah-ah, one more step and they die, you never did see the point of strength in numbers." Azrael said as he
branded the Zorkin blade near Connor's throat and Nobody had a gun next to Rachel's head.

Knowing full well he did make a point out of all his threats and knew they would be dead if he did.

"You're right about me I never did see the point of it, I always worked alone, no one to stop me or get in my way, but
that was then…this is now." Nightshroud said as then Nobody dropped to the ground unconscious.

As then in a blink of an eye Nightshroud had rushed up to Azrael and had just thrown him and himself up and through
the building as they took the fight outside.

Rachel did not know what was going on as then her collar was removed and looking behind her she could not believe her
eyes.

"Mom!" she cried as both embraced one another.

"I missed you so much." Jean said as this was a moment she's waited for.

If you can get past this author’s style, this is actually a pretty cool scene, with a superhero performing a distraction
manoeuvre to simultaneously rescue a hostage and blast a primary villain well out of threat range of others, before a
tearful reunion is made. Pretty cool.

Quote :
"Uh…"

They noticed the painful groan of Connor.

It’s so cool, in fact, that the fic has to remind us who we’re supposed to be paying attention too.

While the two Marvel Girls fawn over Xtreeme, Nightshroud gets his ass well and truly kicked by Azrael.

Quote :
"You fool, you didn't think I anticipated your arrival? I modified my plasma blaster, a Zorkin blaster…just for
you." Azrael said as he reloaded another shot.

"AHHH!" Alex shouted as the pain was increasing with each shot hitting him.

Azreal enjoyed his suffering as much as his son went through and knew nothing could stop him now.

So, it looks like the wounded Xtreeme is the only hope for defeating Azrael. What’s going through our beaten hero’s
head?

Quote :
"I'm…such a…a…douche." Connor said as he was slowly losing conciseness from the loss of blood.



Eventually, Marvel Girl Snr takes off to help Xtreeme’s dad leaving lil’ Marvel Girl to look after her beaten boyfriend.

When she arrives... This happens:

Quote :
"Get away from him!" Jean said as she sent a telekinetic blast as it sent the villain flying backward to the
ground.

He then rose up from the ground and began arming his gauntlets at her as she then had him in a sort of vice grip but he
used some sort of psychokinetic blocker to negate her power temporarily.

"Meta human you stuck you nose in my business and now I'll give you the same fate as X'ondir!" Azrael said as he went
to fire his machine gun gauntlets at Jean she put up a barrier and braced herself.

The bullets fired as they began to it hit the telekinetic barrier Jean set up as she knew she could not hold it up for long
and it looked like she was going to be killed again but as she could not take anymore hit's the barrier was down and
waited for the bullets to hit her.

I don’t fuckin’ know. It’s about here where I start remembering just how bizarre this guy’s writing style it. Absolutely
ludicrous.

Anyway. Guess what happens next?

This:

Spoiler:
 

Quote :
As the smoke cleared there was nothing left of the villain as Alex looked around and saw Jean was ok and knew
he had gotten away.

I'll get you next time R'alis.

Next tiiiiiime *mrroooowwwww*

Well, Nightshroud grabs Xtreeme and flies him up to space-hospital, I guess. Jean and Rachel chill out in Xtreeme’s
apartment.

Quote :
Both Jean and Rachel were in Connor's apartment waiting for them and hoping that Connor was ok.

"I still can't believe this though…How is this possible?" Rachel asked her mother.

"They do have a weakness, it's Zorkin, the radioactive remains of their planet, it's poison." Jean explained how Connor
and Alex are vulnerable to one thing in the universe.

Two things. This author has still forgotten that Dilythium was Xtreeme’s kryptonite back in chapters 2-3.

Quote :
"Mom…about dad…." Jean stopped her there.

Hooo boy... Now, I know that Emma Frost isn’t the most popular character out there, hell, I can’t stand her, but Cyclops
is one of my favourite characters, and I thoroughly understand his dilemma.



Quote :
"I know, that bimbo can have him and as far as I'm concerned he ruined it all, when I see him again I'm going
to say some things I didn't get a chance to say before." Jean said.

He ruined it all? He wasn’t the one going evil, risking the destruction of the universe, sparking intergalactic
wars and dying!

But we can’t dwell on this for too long! The Fic hasn’t fawned over its stars enough yet! Where’s Xtreeme?

Quote :
As then a sound of speed was heard and the apartment front door was kicked open and two individuals were
stood there.

Anyone wanna guess what the sound of speed is?

So, Xtreeme gets carted off and his dad collapses.

Quote :
"Alex are you alright?" Jean asked concerned for him.

"I'm ok just…I had to save him, but I had to get him near enough to the sun to absorb some radiation from it." Alex told
her as she went wide eyed.

Xtreeme is solar powered...

His dad, however, isn’t. He, in fact is weakened by solar radiation.

Quote :
"Are you crazy? You know what that'll do to you!" Jean said as he looked up to her eyes.

"I know, but I would do it again and again if it meant saving my son." Alex said as he got up to one foot as he nearly
stumbled as Jean quickly grabbed him stopping his fall and brought him over to the couch to sit down on.

He then took his mask off revealing his short black hair, red and blue eyes as he was sweating.

"You never knew when to stop, look what it's done to you." Jean said taking note of his exhaustion and then noticing his
few cuts on his body.

And that’s about it, sparing a flashback and a teaser for the next chapter:

Quote :
Nightshorud has returned along with Jean but with Connor and Rachel safe and his enemy now returned what
oncoming chaos will be on the horizon? What will Jean do when she meets her estranged husband and lover?

Finally, an author’s note:

Quote :
What you think? Reviewsd please!

Be sure you leave your reviewsds’. Make them like these ones:

Quote :
I always appreciated stories the action of which took part just in the school for mutants and the topic of which
was the young mutants' adventures in there Smile I always appreciated stories the action of which took part just in the
school for mutants and the topic of which was the young mutants' adventures in there Smile

And

Quote :
This story is good. The oc seems original and not overly favoured and the plot doesn't seem too bad eithe, so
far. Wink

...

...

...


I’m gonna go cry now.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:30 pm

Quote :
Anyone wanna guess what the sound of speed is?
Woosh?
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Happenstance
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:35 pm

Oh, I missed this so much. :D

Quote :
"Oh god…it's Connor…Azrael's about to…to…CUT HIS EYES OUT!" Jean described now feeling her daughter's
trauma.
I just love this line. It's so ridiculous, in so many ways, but you just gotta love the unnecessary emphasis at the end.
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Exodia's Right Leg
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:27 pm

Quote :
The bullets fired as they began to it hit the telekinetic barrier Jean set up as she knew she could not hold it up for long
and it looked like she was going to be killed again but as she could not take anymore hit's the barrier was down and
waited for the bullets to hit her.
Mojo Jojo is now writing fanfiction?
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:23 am

Quote :
"You sure Connor's going to be alright?" Rachel asked her mom.
Unfortunatly, yes...

Welcome to the latest update of XTREEME, the amazing adventures of an educationally subnormal alien superbeing and his quest to pork Rachel Grey. Oh.. and the rest of the X-men are hanging around too, somewhere.

Quote :
As then they entered the lounge they were greeted by the shocked and relieved faces of their friends and family.

[...]

"Oh my god Rachel you're okay!" Kitty said rushing over to her friend glad she was safe.

"Yeah thanks to the men in black." Rachel joked.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

*sigh* If only.

Quote :
"But how is this possible Jean? You died?" Alex asked as he was glad that his sister in law was alive again.

Oh, piss off, Havok, she’s died at least twice since you’ve known her.

Quote :
"I did but I'm back…for good this time,

*snerk*

Quote :
As then the door opened and to [Scott’s] disbelief it was Jean and he was speechless again seeing her after a year she died and now once again she was alive.

As then WD40 read the passage as he was astounded again over this writers prose once again as he read.

Quote :
"Jean…I…I…how is this…but you…how?" Scott asked just gobsmakced.

"Scott, I know this is too much for you right now, so I wanted to ask you if we can speak tomorrow?" Jean asked.

"Uh yeah sure I can talk about early afternoon after class?" he asked.

"Great I'll talk to you then." she said as she just went to leave.

“Hi hun! Back from the dead. In a bit o a rush, so I’ll catch up with you later? ‘K? Ciao!”

Quote :
As Jean was going back downstairs she was met with the face of the Ice Queen herself.

Please see Floating Hands animation above.

Quote :
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Not surprised you're giving up…just like you gave up on your marriage." Emma threw the insult at Jean as she stopped in her tracks and turned around and walked right back up to her.

Erm... Jean died. She did not ‘give up’ on her marriage to Scott. Hell, the vow is ‘Till death do us part’, as far as legislation is concerned she’s fulfilled her part of the bargin as well as she can!

Quote :
"Don't provoke me you skank! It's not enough you destroyed my marriage but you have to get in those blows on me as I've only been back a few hours, but if you want to test me…" Jean then used her powers and lifted her up and threw her against the wall back first.

"Consider that a warning…you evil witch!" Jean spat getting the last word on Emma as she walked off.

As Emma regained her stance Scott hearing the commotion went to her aid.

"What happened?" he asked helping her up.

"Your crazy wife attacked me!" Emma said as Scott could not believe Jean would do something like that.

And Scott is perfectly aware that Jean is capable of detonating a planet, she’s therefore perfectly capable of bitch-slapping the ex-stripper who’s hitched up with her husband.

Well, this fic has now spent altogether far too much time on the X-Man. It’s time to rejoin our hero:

Quote :
Connor's eyes opened slowly as he saw he was still wearing the bottom half of his costume and seemingly all of his wounds were healed and he felt a bit groggy but also better as he sat up and looked around and one person was on his mind…

"Rachel?…are you he-" he was stopped in silence and saw who was sitting on his couch.

"Hello…son." Alex said as for the first time in years both father and son were face to face.

[...]

Quote :
"Why'd you leave? How could you leave us just like that!" Connor said as years of anger and resentment towards his father were coming to the surface.

Erm... Because he ‘died’. Or got thrown into this ‘Nexus’ thing you were talking about... I don’t think he did it intentionally.

Anyway... Let’s move on to the plot... What of it there is.

Quote :
"Now…I'm back and I'm powerless, but I'm not the one that is going to stop Azrael on his next attack…you are." Alex said as Connor looked at him in disbelief.

"Me? I can't beat him ,you saw how that turned out I got my ass handed to me! How do you expect me to beat him the next time?" Connor asked.

"I'm going to train you, take your abilities to the next level." Alex said as Connor couldn't believe it.

Because the superhumanly-strong, superhumanly fast, invulnerable, flying Xtreeme needs to be even more overpowered... Jeez...

After all that, Jean takes a stroll through the institute...

Quote :
As they walked here Rachel came to see her mother and as then in the hallway was Scott and Emma and it did no look good.

No a’ all di’ it look good.

Quote :
"Jean why did you attack Emma?" Scott asked as she could see that witch was trying to stir things up between them.

[...]

"I only did it because she was provoking me to do so, clearly you're siding with her and has made it very clear to me…there's no hope for us and I'm about this…I want a divorce." Jean stated that as the look on Scott's face said it all.

You died, Jean... Your marriage contract is already null and void.

Quote :
It was now evening and both Alex and Connor we're mainly catching up with things and Alex was learning more about his son generally.

"I knew your powers would've developed earlier but not at the age of five, I'm surprised your mother didn't notice anything until you we're older." Alex said.

"I managed to keep it from her but she found out when I had saved us from an oncoming car and pretty much decimated it but got us out of there by super speed, the look on her face when I said for how long I had them was what got me…priceless." Connor said as they had a small chuckle about him and his mother.

Christ... This writing.

Anyway, Rachel and jean come over, and Jean explains how she’s split up with Scott.

Then it’s time for Xtereeme sexytimes.

Quote :
"Sooooo…am I still getting my "treat" then?" Connor asked Rachel about their little arrangement from earlier.

She looked at him with those beautiful green eyes he loved. "As long as you keep up your end of the deal?" Rachel said as he knew what that was.

"Yeah I know get a car and you give me a night a never forget." Connor said.

She smiled at him as then she walked into his bedroom as then his clothes started to come off telekinetically and followed her in.

I feel dirty for Rachel.

If that hasn’t squicked you out then this will... While Xtreeme and Rachel are gettin’ it on, Xtreeme’s dad and Rachels mom... well...

Eeeerrrgghhh...

Following that, Rachel wakes up with a nightmare, but not over what you might think...

Quote :
He [Xtreeme] then heard some noise coming from the living area and saw the TV was on and Rachel sitting there watching it and was seemingly weeping.

"Rachel…what're you doing up?" he asked coming to sit next to her.

"Oh I was having trouble sleeping." she said wiping her eyes.

"Trouble sleeping? After what we just did?" he said reminding her of their little fool around session.

Smooth.

Quote :
He then noticed her eeys were red and puffy and remembered the last time she was like this…

"You dreamt it again didn't you?" he asked her as she nodded her head.

"I can't get it out of my head, that night when they came and killed most of us, then took me away and made me kill everyone." Rachel said recalling the dream.

For those not in the know, Rachel Summers was brainwashed and forced to be an assassin against her will by a fellow called Ahab.

Quote :
"You're parents…they loved you, they died to save you and now look at you, all grown up, a teacher at the school, one of the most powerful telepaths and telekinets in the world…and a killer boyfriend." Connor grinned as she chuckled a little.

Still smooth, Xtreeme.

Quote :
She looked up to him drying her eyes. "You always know the right things to say to me, I'm glad I found you." Rachel said.

Oh, for fuck’s sake...

Anyway... elsewhere in the world:

Quote :
In a darkened room a lab of sorts, an experiemnt is being conducted.

As then a few switches were flipped and electricity was being transferred to some huge capsule containing liquid of sorts as something physical was beginning to manifest within it.

"Soon…I will finally have a physical body."

Approaching the capsule for a closer inspection it seemed the experiment was beginning to do something.

Soon X'ondir…soon Son of X'ondir…so very soon.

OooooooOOOOoooohhh! *waves fingers*


Well that’s it for this update. There’ll be more soon!
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreeeeeemmmeee!   Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:51 pm

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!
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