A Rapist And His Family -- NSFW

So, this is my first post here . . . I was advised by a friend that you lot might enjoy this piece of dreck. It's from the Yu-Gi-Oh: GX fandom (or, well, it claims to be, but it could really be any generic "Male Character A" and "Male Character B" for all the "characterization" it has), and it's . . . well . . .

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Thirty second version: Saioh/Sartorius rapes Edo/Aster. Six months later, Edo turns up in Saioh's prison cell and basically goes "<3 Hi. Wanna screw? Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant with your kid, and he needs a(nother) daddy, so you're coming home with me."


Yeah. Because someone pregnant by their rapist TOTALLY wants the guy to come raise their kid, right?

Enjoy. If you can.

Quote :

Sartorius was woken up by a gaurd knocking on the door to his cell. "You have a visitor," the gaurd said.

"Who is it?" Sartorius asked, curiously. In the couple of months he had been in prison he had not once had a visitor.

"He says his name's Aster. And that you raped him six months ago."

"Send him in I want to see him."

"Don't hurt him."

"I won't."

Prison visitation doesn't work that way.

They're making the visitor visit the prisoner in his cell XD.

Wow. Guess the author has never watched a crime drama... Or any movie, tv show, etc with a prison visitation scene.

review wrote:

You know, even though I'm not a rape victim myself, I still can't help but be INSANELY offended at how this fic portrays rape in general. It's very clear to me that you don't understand the gravity of such a thing and what it does to people who have experienced it at all -- if you're ever raped by someone, under NO circumstances are you going to want to go into their prison cell and tell them they're raising the child they conceived with you, especially because you ~*~love them~*~ or some stupid ** like that. Hell, most victims wouldn't even want to see the guy who raped them face-to-face ever again in most cases if they can help it, or so common sense would dictate. It's extremely tasteless to write something like this when you don't have the faintest clue about rape in the real world. Hell, some would argue it's extremely tasteless period unless you really know what you're doing -- which you don't.

Amen, brother, amen.

Chaltab wrote:

They're making the visitor visit the prisoner in his cell XD.

Wow. Guess the author has never watched a crime drama... Or any movie, tv show, etc with a prison visitation scene.

For that matter, it's a fairly safe bet his grasp of the English language is, at best, open to debate.

Oh god, the author's profile is full of ridiculousness. And he's done a load of Scrubs fics where Perry and JD get it awn and have babies. One of them doesn't even have a description, just 'Jdox', which I will admit took me some time to decipher.

Aaand deleted! Good riddance.

Indeed. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

WGW is Technicolournina's army, apparently!

Mission accomplished! Fall in for tea and biscuits!

I'll do the catering, I did fuck all else!

Theaphelia wrote:

Aaand deleted! Good riddance.

Let's all do the Story Not Found dance! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I don't like the Story Not Found dance. It takes away all my fun.

Does anyone know the author URL?

Fitchsticks wrote:

Oh god, the author's profile is full of ridiculousness. And he's done a load of Scrubs fics where Perry and JD get it awn and have babies. One of them doesn't even have a description, just 'Jdox', which I will admit took me some time to decipher.

I don't watch Scrubs, so what does jodox mean? I'm assuming it's another idiot smushing together of the pairings name to make it cute, but it actually sounds like an energy drink that would boast anti-oxidant properties.

InkWeaver wrote:

I don't like the Story Not Found dance. It takes away all my fun.

Does anyone know the author URL?

Trust me, this fic wasn't even funny.

As for the author profile, here it is. Cringe at the profile full of unfunny e-mail foward bullshit. Plenty of yowee assbaby fantasies there, too. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Ohmygod it's killed some of my fandoms for me.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Fitchsticks wrote:

Oh god, the author's profile is full of ridiculousness. And he's done a load of Scrubs fics where Perry and JD get it awn and have babies. One of them doesn't even have a description, just 'Jdox', which I will admit took me some time to decipher.

I don't watch Scrubs, so what does jodox mean? I'm assuming it's another idiot smushing together of the pairings name to make it cute, but it actually sounds like an energy drink that would boast anti-oxidant properties.

You'd be right. J.D/Perry. It's ridiculous, the stories are about 500-800 word one shots but they're all sequels to each other. Long story short, J.D and Dr. (Perry) Cox are secretly engaged, then Dr. Cox announces it over a tannoy and J.D's best friend is suddenly a homophobe. Oh, and Dr. Cox is pregnant with twins. But then he goes into labour after 6 months and for some reason HE is the one that dies and his twins survive.
She doesn't even attempt to explain how mpreg is possible, it just is dammit.

EileenK98 wrote:

Theaphelia wrote:

Aaand deleted! Good riddance.

Let's all do the Story Not Found dance! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Is that anything like the Mashed Potato? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Fitchsticks wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Fitchsticks wrote:

Oh god, the author's profile is full of ridiculousness. And he's done a load of Scrubs fics where Perry and JD get it awn and have babies. One of them doesn't even have a description, just 'Jdox', which I will admit took me some time to decipher.

I don't watch Scrubs, so what does jodox mean? I'm assuming it's another idiot smushing together of the pairings name to make it cute, but it actually sounds like an energy drink that would boast anti-oxidant properties.

You'd be right. J.D/Perry. It's ridiculous, the stories are about 500-800 word one shots but they're all sequels to each other. Long story short, J.D and Dr. (Perry) Cox are secretly engaged, then Dr. Cox announces it over a tannoy and J.D's best friend is suddenly a homophobe. Oh, and Dr. Cox is pregnant with twins. But then he goes into labour after 6 months and for some reason HE is the one that dies and his twins survive.
She doesn't even attempt to explain how mpreg is possible, it just is dammit.

Actually, turk *is* homophobic.

And I refuse to believe that Cox is the one declaring the babies and having them/dying for them. Actually, you know what would be funny? In character JDox where JD continues to drive him crazy, announces the marraige when he shouldnt, when he's yelled at admits he's pregnant, and for 9 months they drive each other nuts until they give birth. JD may die, but now cox has to deal with two very anoying JD esque babies. Which can happen, you know, even in scrubs.

O hai, Nina! I just now noticed that you actually posted this. XD

Alright, who deleted it? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] THIS SHIT IS BADFIC GOLD, I TELL YOU! GOLD!


Actually, here, lemme springboard offa your thread for a bit. The author has so much moar lulz in her inventory that is really worth ~exploring~. I did a live Skype reading of this one from the 5D's fandom the other day, so why not begin with it? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's or any of its characters. I do own the children it would be odd if I didn't. I'm not that perverted you pervert.

I'm a huge pervert and even I don't know what she's talking about.

Quote :

Jack looked down at the test in his hand. It was a pregnancy test. Yusei had forced him to take it.

Because it is quite common in YGO to accuse your gay lover of being pregnant.

Quote :

Strictly speaking it was the sixth test he had taken.

Because it is quite common in YGO to accuse your gay lover of being pregnant multiple times.

Quote :

Yusei Fudo was in the garage working on his duel runner. And worrying about Jack. Yusei had this gut feeling that Jack was pregnant but he couldn't find any plausible way to explain how he was pregnant. Jack was a man. Men don't get pregnant.

But JACK ATLAS could pitch a bitch louder than any woman he had ever known. If he hadn't seen the dick for himself, he would've assumed that Jack had nothing but the secret vagina between his legs.

Quote :

"I'm pregnant." Jack said.Yusei turned his head around to lookat Jack. "You've been crying."
"I'm afraid. I mean the satelite isn't the best place to raise a child and we're only sixteen."
"Jack,you're seventeen."

But Yusei never accused Jack of being too smart. In an epic brain moment of smartness, Jack even decided that fleeing the island would be the best choice for having a well-adjusted family life for their unborn child.

Quote :

Yusei had also been pregnant. His was a boy. He named it Jack after it's father.

In A SHOCKING TWIST OF EVENTS, it turned out that Yusei also had a secret vagina. Surely, it must have been a miracle!

Quote :

"Are you okay,Crow?"
Crow looked up at his boyfriend and nodded. Kiryu looked at him skeptically and continued to rub Crow's back. You see Crow had been sick every morning and Kiryu was afraid that Crow was like Yusei and Jack. Pregnant.

With all the gay men having babies around there, he wouldn't have found it very surprising. He began to wonder where his own secret vagina was hiding.

Quote :

Now, however, he was starting to agree with Kiryu. Yusei of course had agreed with Kiryu and somehow got one of the few pregnancy tests in Satelite.

Because Jack had used of them, pregnancy tests had become a valued commodity. Along with condoms, which were virtually nonexistent.

Quote :

"You wanna tell me how the test turned out?"
"It was positive,"Crow answered. Kiryu turned around toward the door and saw Yusei standing in the doorway with his arms wrapped protectively around his swollen stomach. Kiryu nodded and Yusei went to go tell Martha the news. Kiryu and Crow both flinched as they heard Martha yell, "What is it with you boys and getting each other pregnant?!"

Martha never thought that her adopted sons would make her a grandmother so soon so often.

Quote :

Kiryu nodded. "I wonder how Jack's doing."
Yusei screamed at the sound of Jack's name. Or so they thought. You see, Yusei was nine months pregnant. Martha saw him put an arm around his stomach.
"It's time. Kiryu go get Crow. He'll want to see this."

Because Crow had always wondered where Yusei's secret vagina was hiding. Maybe it would help him find his own.

Quote :

Kiryu nodded and left. Martha walked over to Yusei and asked the one question he never wanted to answer. "How far along would Jack be?"
"Eight months."

Even though Yusei had gotten pregnant a month earlier than his gay lover, he felt it absolutely necessary to spare no pregnancy tests for himself. Possibly because he had no idea that he could have found himself in such a condition.

Quote :

Jack Atlas was sitting in his bed reading some book when Lazar came in. Jack just nodded at Lazar and went back to his book. Lazar of course did not like being ignored and gently put his hand on Jack swollen abdomen. Jack, being uncomfortable with Lazar's hand being where it was, looked down at the shorter man. Well, glared down would be the proper phrase.
"What do you want, Lazar?"
"Goodwin wants you to know that your doctor told him that you will probably be going into labor soon so you should be prepared."
"Okay. Why is your hand still on my stomach?"
"I'm not sure."

"Then quit fucking touching me already! Goddamn!"

Quote :

"Anyway, have you decided how you want to deliver?"
"My doctor has confirmed that I can give birth naturally and that is how I am going to."

"What exactly is your definition of 'naturally', Mr. Atlas? I'm fairly certain it's not natural for a man to be pregnant in the first place."
"I'M THE GODDAMN KING! I WILL GIVE BIRTH HOWEVER I WANT!"

Suddenly, Jack's epic rage caused him to go into labor.

Quote :

After about four hours Jack was ready to push and that only took five minutes.
"What is it?" Jack asked, out of breath.
"It's a girl," Lazar answered, smiling.
Jack smiled and passed out.

Quote :

Crow's screams could be heard everywhere in the orphanage. Seriously, there was nowhere you could go without hearing his screams. You see this time it was Crow having a baby. "Next time we have a kid your carrying it!" he was continuesly yelling at Kiryu.

Despite the fact that he had no idea how a man even got pregnant in the first place. You see, the old Momentum explosion did some really strange things to the island.

Quote :

Yusei walked in with little Jack. "How's everybody doing?"
"Crowis a bit fed up with being pregnant."

So fed up, in fact, that he had decided to stop it right this instant and give birth.

Quote :

Yusei sat outside the orphanage with the letter Jack had sent him not long before. It was the note saying what gender their child was. Yusei was contemplating telling Jack about Little Jack when he felt a tear rundown his face. Don't cry, Yusei!, he told himself.
Kiryu saw him crying and walked over to him. "What'd he say?"
Yusei looked up. "It's a girl. Little Jack has a twin sister."
"I thought they wouldn't be twins since Jack didn't concieve until a month after you."
"They were born on the same day, in the same year and have the same parents. In my opinion there twins."

Yuusei's father was a scientist and, by god, he knew science!

Quote :

Jack Atlas looked down at his daughter. She was fast asleep. Jack sighed. Asleep, she looked so much like Yusei, but awake she was just
like Jack. Save for her hair. Her hair was the same color as Yusei's. Suddenly, a song that Jack's mom used to sing to him all the time popped into Jack's head. Without thinking Jack started to sing the [copypasta song about JAYSUS].
While he was signing Jack failed to notice that Lazar had walked in. Jack jumped with he felt Lazar's fingers brush his neck. "You have a pretty
voice, Jack," Lazar said, softly.

"For a harpy, I mean," he added.

Quote :

Jack relaxed slightly. He even seemed to lean into Lazar's touch. Lazar smiled at this and leaned down to whisper in Jack's ear, "Have you ever thought about having more children?"
Jack turned to look at Lazar only to find himself locked in a lip lock with Lazar.

Being at least two feet shorter than Jack, Lazar found it to be a common problem when the other man was sitting down. He should really make an effort to stop sneaking up behind him like that.

Quote :

After a minute they pulled apart to breathe and Jack said, " I'm considering it."
Lazar laughed and kissed him again. As he pushed onto the bed Jack pulled away. Lazar knew what he meant by it and called Mina to come and babysit. After she arrived Jack and Lazar went to Lazar's apartment and did 'it'.

It was completely unheard of in Neo Domino for couples to put the baby to sleep in another room before making whoopie.

Quote :

Yusei had received another letter from Jack and was nervous about opening it. "Yuse, just open it already. And read it out loud," Crow
said.
"Alright," Yusei said as he opened the letter."
'Dear
Yusei,I'm sorry that I have to send you this letter, but I'm pregnant by one of my colleagues and I'm sorry that I cheated on you.

Even though I mysteriously ran away, which most people would have considered to be breaking up with you.

Quote :

I am going to have the kid but I want you to come to New Domino and help me decide whether or not to put it up for adoption. Please
forgive me.

I am unable to care for more than one child and the clown man dumped me. Kind of like I did you.

Quote :

Yusei looked up at his friends. He walked over to his dresser and started pulling out random pieces of clothing for him and little Jack.
"What are you doing?" Crow asked.
"Jackie and I are going to the city. I have to see Jack," Yusei answered.

"Even though he is a total douche for taking off with one of our kids without talking to me about it. I think I'll help him raise the clown baby, too. It'll be FUN!"

Sadly, the fic ends there with three chapters. The author updated recently, so there's a good chance we'll be getting more.

This reminds me...I should really get back to work on MY GX snark. I think I've had enough time to rage by now.

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That last fic is so bad it hardly even NEEDS snark. It embarrasses ITSELF.