This Mutant Life by Knightowl 4183
This fic is an X-Men Evo/ Ranma crossover, staring Akane and Toad. Sound like fun? Read on!
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- Prologue: Akane the Lost
I thought that was Ryoga?
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- Somewhere in China…
God knows where.
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- A dusty, despondent figure trudged through the wilderness wondering about there purpose in life.
“Should I become a ballet dancer? A grunge rocker? A direct to DVD Lifetime movie actress?”
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- What am I gonna do now.
Deny your love for Ranma? Beat up Kuno? Bath P-chan and yet again wonder why that always makes his nose bleed?
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- Her thoughts wandering to that bastard Hiyami Murato and his “personal physician Dr. Essex, she still didn’t know why the guy creeped her out
IDK, the white skin? The eyes that glow red? The vampire outfit?
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- her family and even fiancée hung on Hiyami’s every word. How could they listen to a man who spouts unreasonable request like wanting to know the Saotome secret techniques and they fall over themselves to show him them, why is this happening over a guy who every time he speaks she gets a headache. Why wouldn’t they believe her when she told them that Essex injected her with something and Hiyami told Kuno to..to..to..rape her!
OMG, not Kuno!
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- “D*mn it!!”
B*tch-f*ck!
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- She screamed in rage just remembering how that bastard Essex told her family and supposed friends that she was a genetic anomaly, a mutant whose bone and tissue density grows at a accelerated rate but only ten percent of it is used.
Whatever the hell that means.
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- Her circle of friends freaked and called her a freak, that bastard Ranma spit in her face, along with Kuno who claimed she was a demonic temptress, and even Ryoga insulted her. Ranma’s other fiancées beat her up and no one mentions a thing about Ranma and the other fiancées sleeping with Hiyami while Ranma is in his female form. Genma started to say something before he got this glazed look in his eyes, then he was suddenly alright with it!
You are in the Marvel-verse now, hun, that kind of behavior is pretty typical.
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- “You bastards!” Akane screamed as she reared her fist back in absolute rage the muscles in her arm and shoulder tightened in an inhuman way and flexed muscles that a normal human shouldn’t have and drove her fist forward into an eighteen foot tall boulder reducing it to pebbles with little effort.
So, her mutant power is being a Ranma character?
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- Chapter 1: Making the Brotherhood.
Best to use an air-dry clay.
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- Disclaimer I own nothing that I write about that has anything to do with Marvel or Ranma Canon. I just came up with Evolution takes on some people that I don’t own.
I should get either a Marvel or Ranma Canon printer.
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- 4 months later, America, Bayville New York.
As opposed to that Bayville, New York in Russia
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- “Oh yeah we are living it up in style,” Akane muttered sarcastically in passable english to her companion of 3 and a half months. “went from a abandoned warehouse in your hometown with you getting us funds for food
Actually, if she can manage sarcasm her English must be pretty good.
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- and now were scott free inthis dump!”
Shh, do not say Scott's name, he may show up and puss all over everything!
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- “Hey yo it ain’t so bad here,” The gangly smelly teen crouched beside her with his dirty blonde locks hanging behind him as his head was tilted back staring at the house. “all it needs is a little elbow grease sis!”
“I call it that because I make it from my elbows.”
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- “ ’sigh’ at least you stopped calling me babycakes.” She muttered while shaking her head. “At least you can rewire the place while I try and fix it up a little.”
Toad: electrical engineer.
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- “As long as you don’t cook ya know.” The boy known as Todd muttered under his breath, unfortunately not softly enough judging by the small mallet connecting to his head.
I guess you really are bad off when Toad cooks better than you.
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- Thankfully it was a softish rubber mallet she took up using after she clobbered a thug trying to rough him up when they first, mainly cause she nearly crushed the guys skull only through certain circumstances did she get out of a murder rap.
Apparently anime physics stop working the second you step out of Asia.
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- Who knew that the government was cloning the Captain America trying to perfect process that created him, though why the ones making them were called Hydra they may never know.
What this has to do with Akane braining a guy with a mallet is beyond me.
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- One thing they both knew was that Fury guy was pissed, that and he kept giving Akane odd looks before he announced that she was actually born here so she didn’t need to worry about being deported.
So, Fury works for Hydra now?
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- Neither of them really knew what to think about that at all.
Neither do I, frankly.
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- Even she didn’t know she was born in America?
I dunno, you tell me.
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- Still how could I be born here when my parents claim I was born in Japan?
No one ever claims anything that is not true!
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- “Hey boss lady!” Toad yelled to the red headed Caucasian woman with her hair in a bun and severe looking glasses on. “So this is our, you know abode? Cause this is really crappy ya know!”
“Will you and this overgrown muscle freak get in the house before people start getting suspicious!”
And Vilecorp is starting to masturbate into the bushes and I am
not going to clean that up!
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- She hissed at them obviously still angry over her and one of the guys she was trying to recruit wrecking that warehouse after that Gilmore bastard started insulting them but what really pissed her off was when that bastard started insulting Todd, that was when Akane lost it.
I need a run-on exposition sentence interpreter over here.
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- The fact that her picture was only aired a couple days ago on one of those news shows for massive property damage was probably why she wanted them inside. “How could you idiots tangle with the Hellfire Club! Not only that but now Gilmore is at Xavier’s since it was found that drug they were giving him actually stimulated a real X gene which gave him pretty much the same powers he had before!”
Mystique: Not only that but his gender changes every time he gets splashed with cold water!
Toad: Yeah? Uhh, how does that work? I have a... friend who might be interested.
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- “Mojo!?” Mystique ,their boss, screeched
“That fat, yellow bastard!”
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- And she could match him in strength when angry but when his powers really activated he was at least twice as strong as her!”
So, you are saying Akane's anime powers are useless. Good to know.
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- “So you don’t want the sample of this drug thingy I stole?”
“I got some o~piates...”
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- Toad asked in his normal questioning tone while contemplating his find before tossing it over his shoulder at which point Mystique made a frantic dive for the vial just barely catching it.
Yuk yuk yuk.
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- “You stupid fool!” Mystique screamed
“I am surrounded by the foolishy foolish!”
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- “If this had busted I would have torn your intestines out with a spoon!! How could you be so stupid as to not telling me you had this! I probably would have praised you if you had just told me about this before hand, already I find myself developing an ulcer just from being around you for less than two weeks!!”
An ulcer and a personality disorder.
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- “Here have some spaghetti.” Akane grumbled as she handed over a container of what looked like spaghetti absentmindedly while looking through her bag,
“Shit, carnival tokens, condoms, poker chips, tampons... where the hell is my cell phone!”
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- “Fine.” Mystique grumbled as she snatched the container cause through an unlucky coincidence she hadn’t eaten all morning.
“Hey yo boss lady remember to watch the tentacles!” Toad spoke up in cheerfully as he started wandering the house.
“Tentacles!?” Mystique grumbled as she opened the container only to have tentacles entrap her body and to find herself looking into a meatball eye and a mouth of solidified parmesan pulling her toward itself it’s tomato sauce dripping onto the floor melting the floor landed on. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Why is THIS not Akane's mutant power?
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- A couple minutes of gratuitous noodle abuse later the monster was back in the container though the efforts of the wonder punk duo.
When contemplating what two fictional characters would make a great 'wonder punk duo' I never imagined Akane and Toad. Guess I just do not have what it takes to be a fanfiction author.
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- Meanwhile Mystique was curled up in a traumatized heap,
“My God, get me out of this fic!”
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- The other two members of the house did what the could to help her, involving Toad poking her with a stick and Akane making an alcoholic beverage which her strange culinary talent somehow made it like a mixture somewhere between vodka and whiskey that very definitely could curl your toes.
She made it out of canned corn and chimney ash, it was really a marvel of drink creation.
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- In Mystique’s case her toes literally curled up when they used the funnel from the car to pour it in after somewhat cleaning it.
Masterpiece comedy theater!
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- Oh god, I need someone or something to ride herd on these maniacs! Mystique thought
Ew, gross! Mystique, we are taking about minors here.
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- How could he tell me to get what ever mutant I could find and then I got these maniacs for my trouble! Whoever I get has to be powerful and preferably insane enough to deal with these crazy brats, and I think I have an idea who even if Eric doesn’t agree with it has to be used for my sanity! Not like he’ll even have to deal with her for long at all, I will be the one dealing with her all the time. What’s the worst that could happen any way!
Translation: Mystique is going to recruit Wanda. Methinks someone is still a touch on the drunk side.
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- 4 Day’s later, Brotherhood Home
“From an asylum to a dump!” Wanda muttered in disgust
“Eh, at least I can get a cool goffick hair cut now!”
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- “I can't believe I agreed to this, yeah I get to meet my "father" so I can show him my pain,
“Then I am going to write music for Disturbed.”
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- With this proclamation the Goth
Eh, she is probably just a poser who listens to Bauhaus.
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- a beaten heap that was once Toad crawled through the door.
You mean 'beaten heap' is not his natural state?
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- “Was it something I said yo?” Toad muttered weakly as he collapsed into a heap.
“Or maybe it was when I slipped my tongue up her shirt?”
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- “Todd!” Akane immediately shouted as she caught site of her friends beaten form, she rushed over to check him for injuries completely forsaking the tools and lumber she had piled up in preparation of trying to repair the place.
Tools: Why?
Lumber: Why have you forsaken us?!
Tools: Whyyyy?
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- “What the h*ll did that bitch do to you!”
So, Akane is secretly in love with Toad now? Is she going to beat the shit out of him every time he talks to another girl and blame everything on him immediately while occasionally getting really sentimental for no real reason for seasons on end now?
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- “Well at least she can get him to behave.” Mystique muttered while staring at her car as it gave up the ghost and collapsed. “Hopefully she can control the other one or the sacrifice of my car and sanity will be in vain.”
There is nothing that can go wrong with this plan.
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- The fact her hopes were dashed with the very obvious sound of a fight that judging by the dust coming from the ceiling would bring the house down just brought her to tears.
Jeez, Mystique has been really emotional lately.
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- “How could you let everything get out of hand! Didn’t I make you team leader, didn’t I get you out of that asylum, didn’t I promise you the chance to work things out with your father, well didn’t I!?”
Wanda for team leader 2010!
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- “Yeah so what?” Wanda muttered in a somewhat nasally tone do to her broken nose, split lip, and black eye while glaring at Akane who bore numerous scratches and slashes all over her body.
Akane: I am more concerned with why Wanda attacked me with a scythe.
Wanda: It's the county approved weapon of the Goth.
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- “ The only thing I want to work out with my father is how much he suffers!”
“Like he made me suffer! Like we all will suffer! Oh God, I am so angry and alone!”
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- The fact the house shook with this announcement as well as the energy rippling out of her body made Mystique start to bitterly regret this plan,
Just now?
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- especially because she actually couldn’t just put the girl back in the Asylum cause it would feel to much like abandoning her like she was forced to do when she lost her son Kurt. When she finally found him again he had been adopted by gypsy’s and she was firmly back under Eric’s thumb, sad to say she had terrible luck with her own kids.
And this has to do with what?
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- Like Graydon who hates her and his father, Kurt who she accidently dropped in the river all those years ago after Eric had been experimenting on him and she had managed to escape with her son, Marie who was the normalest of the bunch, and the saddest fact was that Kurt did have a fraternal twin brother who just disappeared soon after birth with a pop. She never even got to name him or Kurt for that matter, she loved her children but as time passed she found herself getting more and more bitter and more and more willing to do whatever it took to keep them.
Woah, woah, Mystique, I did not ask for your life story.
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- “Do you think you brats can get along at school at least.” Mystique sighed in a put upon way. “Do you think you could accomplish that at all? Or will you end up bringing the school down as well!”
“The problem with that is that I’m actually twenty two and before I ended up on the streets I was in my third year in college,” Akane spoke in a matter of fact tone with a depressed look on her face.
Oh, well that is kind of a problem.
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- “unfortunately that bastard Hiyami somehow talked the college administrator to lose my transcripts.
Hiyami: Hey, you wanna lose those transcripts.
College Admission: Aw hell yeah.
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- “Will you please quit with that story!” Mystique groaned in agony over the same old crap coming out of her mouth.
“Jesus, fuck your completely relevant problem of trying to pass as a high school student when you were in the middle of college! I don't want to hear about it!”
Yeah, after this is a lot of rambling about how “Asian Martial Artist” are secretive and some other shit. Apparently Mystique has heard this story a hundred times and never thought anything was odd about it. Only now she inquires about Nathan Essex.
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- "Nathaniel Essex, he's a Genetics and medical expert. "Akane admitted reluctantly. "He is also apparently over a hundred years old if all the articles and pictures are to be believed."
"What articles and pictures?" Mystique spoke with an alien tone in her voice that none recognized or unfortunately picked up on.
“Show them to me. Now. For... reasons.”
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- "These!" Shouted Akane angrily fed up with this whole conversation she threw down some papers that had obviously been handled a lot.
If you know what I mean.
(she masturbated to them)
La la la, Mysti gets POed, grabs her sniper gear, and calls her girlfriend, Irene, to tell her to take care of her adoptive daughter, Rogue.
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- "Trouble with the girlfriend, yo?" Toad asked out of nowhere.
“Not really. I mean, our daughter is turning into a Goth, but I guess I can deal.”
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- "If you even touch my daughter I'll nail those little things dangling between your legs to my wall! Do you understand me!?" Snarled Mystique in Toad's face.
“Actually, that might me kind of helpful.”
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- 2 hours later on an international flight to Japan from Bayville,
"Now to make you pay for Kurt and his brother.." Mystique growled silently just thinking of that night."You won't ever touch my family again Sinister..."
Unbeknownst to anyone, in the cargo bay resided a certain mutant with a grudge.
"Your a dead man, Ranma." Akane growled as unknown to her, her eyes glew crimson in the dark.
OK, fanfic, I admit it. You lost me.
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- Authors note: This doesn't look good does it,
No. No it does not.
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- Mystique going to confront Sinister and the Ranma gang with the unintentional stowaway Akane along for the ride.
Oh. But you said that no one... Ugh, whatever.
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- What secrets lie in Mystique's past, what did Sinister do to Kurt, and why was Akane's eyes glowing red? What is her code name anyway?
I dunno, damnit! This is your goddamn fic!
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- Well it's Buff,
Oh, OK.
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- Anyways find out the answer to the rest in "When Purple Runs Red!"
I think I will pass, dude.
((20th snark hell yeah!!))
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