The Princess and the Freak (a Ring/Ringu fic)

I couldn't think of a better title than this... but the question is, who is the princess and who is the freak? Since the male lead's name is Pink, I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

The Princess and the Freak: Once upon a time, there was a little girl who had a difficult life and whose death was even worse. Once upon a time, there was this guy who didn't believe in ghost, and yet went across the world to save one. American version of the movie

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This is the story of a girl who didn’t have much luck in life, and to whom even death could not bring peace.

Maybe because she's a fucking oni? Owait, American version. Maybe because she's fucking evil?

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She just reacted the way you could expect from a eight years old girl in those very particular conditions,

Yes, because all eight year old kids who are murdered by their parents come back from the dead to kill people in gruesome ways. It's a totally normal reaction.

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People called him Pink. And whenever someone asked him why, why Pink and not something more nerdy like Spock or Brain or whatever it is people of his kind call each others, he just gave them his most charming smile and said: “well, you see, my friends in high-school just happened to hate that colour.”

"And it looked fabulous on me."

Anyway, our hero, Pink (*snicker*), hears about a video tape on an internet forum. He goes searching for a copy of the tape to verify for himself that it's a ghost story, or something.

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Still, as soon as his exams were over, he remembered the tape that had been lying around, and he decided the time to watch had come. He’d do it with style of course, because he kind of felt it deserved it.

"Oh, we'll have balloons and decorations, and a party mix! Can't have a ghost story viewing without a party mix!"

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Because on the phone, he heard the sad and desperate voice of a little girl, and what that voice said was:

“Save me.”

Aww... Samara the evil demon child wants to be saved.

So, in order to save the "ghost"--which he didn't believe in--he travels from Paris to Seattle. Because that's totally logical, and Pink does nothing that isn't completely logical.

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Everyone knows French people can’t speak English.

Because then they'd be English, duh!

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Well, as far as someone French could speak well in another language anyway.

"Your language... it iz ze CHIT! I will not uze it witzout my Frrraaarench acczent!"

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As if that weren’t enough, Pink was also starting to experience Doubt.

No Doubt with Gwen Stefani? Yah, good band.

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All had been well as long as he was on the plane, mostly because he was terribly excited by all those things that were happening, but as soon as he found himself all alone in Seattle, with nowhere to sleep, no idea of where he should look for… for he didn’t really know what, well… he had a sudden attack of Doubt.

The band members all jumped out from behind a bush and pounced on him, stealing his wallet and beating him up! Damn that band! *shakes fist*

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The driver of the first bus was rather grumpy and very much annoyed by all his questions, and he also had that thick accent Pink couldn’t quite understand.

"Wat iz theez crap?! Speek ze Frrraaarench like ze modern perzon!"

So, Pink checks in at the Shelter Mountain Inn, where Samara's well is.

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But I warn you, it’ll really be just tonight. We’re closing in three days.

So, it'd be three days.

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You should have gone to a motel, boy.”

So, what is this place? A meat packing plant?

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“You’re not even from here, are you? Now even tourists think it’s something fun! But it’s serious, very serious, people died because of that… that thing that happened!”

While I agree tourists are from the pit of hell, I'd be marketing the crap out of that if I had an honest to gosh ghost story to sell rooms.

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But in the end, money was still money, even when it came from the pocket of a ghost worshiper Satanist nerd, which she obviously thought he was.

"You will take theez money and you will like it! And I am not a ghozzt worshipper--I am the Frrraaarench, you American kaaaanegit!"

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The cabin was nicer than Pink had expected. Creepy, but still nice. He felt like in one of those slash movies teens liked so much, except there wasn’t a crazy serial killer in the neighbourhood, as far as he knew.

Nah, just a homicidal ghost in a well.

So then he falls asleep in the room, and has a dream about the well, which is covered with a big rock. He removes the rock, and a girl's hand grabs him and drags him down into the well. He screams himself awake, and is all like, "Oh, whew, just a dream." BUT THEN! He steps into the kitchen (?), and....

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She was young, maybe eight or nine at most. She had long, dark hair, wore a long, dirty white dress, and she seemed as surprised as he was.

"I was totally dreaming about this crazy French guy falling on me. Horrible!"