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 the lovers n the forest (NWS)

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quamp
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
quamp

Join date : 2009-06-11
Location : Locked away in Suburban hell

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PostSubject: the lovers n the forest (NWS)   the lovers n the forest (NWS) EmptyFri Jun 12, 2009 8:59 am

the lovers in the forest by red_demon07


As far as I can tell, this doesn't belong to any fandom although it's in the anime section of the Uber Pit. There's only one name in it, Jay, and he's a Marty Stu for the author's SI. The author's aversion to using capital letters is the least of this story's problems.

Quote :
once upon a time there was a man that lived in the forest. his man is jay he went to the forest to get a way from all the people that wanted him dead.

"We don't want no Marty Stu's around here!"

Quote :
when he got all the wood he thought he needed he started to build the house. that following week he had finished the house.

Only Marty Stu could build a cabin in one week. If you want a cabin built in a week, it usually takes a crew of about 20 or so people.

Quote :
he started to read the languge that was on it. he then realised it would mack him immortil. so if he wanted he could stay in the forest never to leave.

I'm guessing English is not this author's first language. Either that or s/he's a troll.

Quote :
but i told him that i didnt want to marry anyone of this people. my heart belonged to one person. and that person is jay.

Because every girl falls for a Marty Stu.

There's a whole other chapter like this for you to snark. I'd say enjoy it, but I don't believe that's possible.
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mennat

mennat

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 31

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PostSubject: Re: the lovers n the forest (NWS)   the lovers n the forest (NWS) EmptyFri Jun 12, 2009 11:25 am

Christ, is there no description in this thing at all? It's just actions, and not very good ones, either. :|

Quote :
so she did and when she looked at him she became the most beautiful angle in the world.
I'll bet she was acute-y. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
he then took her back to his house and he asked her what she would like to eat. she then told him to make what ever he wanted.
Having been hiding in the middle of a forest to escape an angry mob for the past several weeks, Jay could only offer a raw squirrel and some suspicious mushrooms.

Quote :
they sat and eat the stakes. when they were finished
-- they spent the rest of the night picking splinters out of their gums.

Quote :
he the went in and started the shower. she just sat at the foot of the bed.
Take note ladies. Without your man around, all you can do is stare off into space like a useless lump.

Quote :
while they were still in the shower he started to play with her g-spot.
"Checkmate," he said, as he set his Queen on the board.
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Keith Fraser
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Keith Fraser

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 38
Location : The Emerald Isle

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PostSubject: Re: the lovers n the forest (NWS)   the lovers n the forest (NWS) EmptyFri Jun 12, 2009 4:16 pm

Quote :
once upon a time there was a man that lived in the forest. his man is jay

So is this "his man" in the sense of a batman/manservant ("You rang?" "Jay, be a good fellow and polish my boots, chop chop." "Yes, sir.") or "his man" in the same sense as "his woman"? Enquiring minds want to know!
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grmblfjx
Hot and Botherer
Hot and Botherer
grmblfjx

Join date : 2009-06-10

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PostSubject: Re: the lovers n the forest (NWS)   the lovers n the forest (NWS) EmptyWed Jun 17, 2009 6:06 am

I have this feeling that it's option C): "this man".
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