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 Ignition; Filler: The Series!!

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Braigwen
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Braigwen


Join date : 2009-06-14
Age : 44
Location : Punching Udina.

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 3:03 am

Ignition by Atlantia

MOVIEVERSE SamxBumblebee SEQUEL TO COMBUSTION. After the struggles of
the last few weeks, Sam and Bumblebee think they have finally escaped
and can live their lives in peace. But with 3 different factions after
them, their time and choices are running out.


Strap in and take your Dramamine! Its gonna be a bumpy ride!

I shall condense each chapter down to a few sentences that make sense.

Chapter 1, part 1

26 Paragraphs


Captain Lennox is at the beach, talking with Maggie Marsden on the phone. The ship at the dock unloads the Autobots who have been hiding in cargo containers as regular cars. Iron Hide, being cooped up for about a week, feels the need to talk Lennox' ear off.

Chapter 1, part 2


8 Paragraphs

The Witwickey house is empty. The parents were kidnapped by Section Seven.


Chapter 2, Part 1


2 Paragraphs

Sam is sitting on the back of a park bench thinking back to a few weeks ago.


Chapter 2, Part 2

19 Paragraphs

Sam is working in a cafe and has a Grand Mal seizure for a full 30 seconds. (Which he should have choked on his own tongue or vomit and died right there.) Weird metal growths protrude through his skin at the spine and Bumblebee explains that it's the All Spark making his body superior for protection.


Chapter 2, Part 3

1 Paragraph

Bumblebee shows Sam a possible future where the Autobots and humans live in harmony in a technologically advanced near future.


Chapter 2, Part 4

1 Paragraph

Bumblebee shows Sam a possible future where Bumblebee goes apeshit on Optimus Prime, killing him.


Chapter 2, Part 5

2 Paragraph

Bumblebee shows Sam a possible far future where the earth has being consumed by an aging sun and Bumblebee still refuses to leave the now dead Sam's side.


Chapter 2, Part 6

10 Paragraphs

Bumblebee reaffirms his love for Sam and they finely do the deed. (And it took how long to get to this part?) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Chapter 3

56 Paragraphs

Lennox is talking on the phone with Secretary Keller, talking about how Sam and Bumblebee have disappeared. Lennox then freaks out over Sam and Bumblebee having sex and Iron Hide explains quite irritably about the inner workings of the spark bond which makes the two parties involved dumb as shit with no will of their own.

Chapter 4, Part 1

39 Paragraphs

Sam is at a party. It's over cast. Some woman who's name is remarkably similar to Carly from the G1 cartoon, tries to throw herself on Sam and have her way with him. He grosses out and has a guilt trip and runs back to Bumblebee. A car comes out of fucking nowhere and Sam's skin how acts like armor and there are more plates covering places that can't be covered up with clothing. Then they escape before anyone can come over to help the other driver so that no one will discover who Sam really is.


Chapter 4, Part 2

6 Paragraphs

A 10 year old Emissions reading satellite orbiting the earth at '35,786 KM' drains the last of it's fuel and falls to earth.

Chapter 5

63 Paragraphs

Sam is feeling sorry for himself and second guessing his bond with Bumblebee. Bumblebee gets creepier than Edward Cullen and starts forcing his will onto Sam in an almost scary way. Then they have sex again and the clouds part and angels descend on steampunk clouds playing Linkin Park's New Divide.

Chapter 6, Part 1

21 Paragraphs

Captain Lennox is on recon, contemplating his smoking habits and slight homophobic tendancies rather than doing any recon. As he head's back, Barricade pops up out of nowhere in a new form and commands Lennox to get in. Lennox gets manhandled and bitten by a hologram of the Decepticon in human form and he gets in without a fuss.

Chapter 6, Part 2


11 Paragraphs

Men in Black patrol the place where Sam and Bumblebee made whoopie. Men collect things from the mud. Men in the vans with afros and big headphones type code into computers and the head Man in Black gives the go ahead to do what ever it is they came to do. Which is never explained...

Chapter 7, Part 1

27 Paragraphs

Judy has been captured, Ron is dead.


Chapter 7, Part 2

19 Paragraphs

Sector Seven sends a message to Sam to come to them or else they will do mean, horrible, terrible things to his mother. Other than killing her husband, of course.


Chapter 7, Part3

13 Paragraphs

Satellites picked up something in the vicinity of where Sam and Bumblebee went 'Heels to Jesus'. Keller wants planes in the air and Maggie is never wrong.


Chapter 7, Part 4

23 Paragraphs

Captain Lennox is playing 20 questions with Barricade. Barricade reveals that he was created at the same time as Bumblebee and also has a weakness for a certain human called Sam. (He apparently has a car-gasim at the mere mention of Sam's name.)


Chapter 7, Part 5


8 Paragraphs

Men in Black with exploding equipment from super feedback. Overused cliches and lots of mud.

Chapter 8

24 Chapters

Sam complies with the Men in Black who seem more like Androids in Black and gets into a van that drives away. They need Bumblebee to do a favor for them.


Chapter 9

61 Paragraphs

Iron Hide reminisces about the old days before the war tore the entirety of Cybertron apart and doomed both Autobots and Decepticons to a slow death. He contemplates Prime's desire to guide the humans into a role that Cybertronians once held as a galactic empire. Apparently the whole line about Freedom being the right of all sentient beings is a moot point when up against the need to live, or relive their life vicariously through another race.

Iron Hide thinks about his role as Prime's left hand and how he shoulders the responsibility for Prime from time to time when Prime himself is unable or unwilling to do so. He also thinks that humans are much too instinctual and quick lived to make any use of the knowledge of billions of years of life the Autobots have racked up.

Eventually he catches up to where Bumblebee has been captured by Sector Seven and it is apparent that 'Bring them home safely' has a double meaning. In order to never let Sector Seven get their hands on Bumblebee and Sam, both must be eliminated. So in a smaller reflection of the beginning of the war, brother turns against brother and only the one who can put aside his personal desires will be victorious. And in a blaze of glory, Iron Hide sends both Bumblebee and Sam back to Primus.


My take of the story? Pointless.

I am sure that this author could have chosen a much more fitting fandom than Transformers to write about her creepy emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship between two beings. The fact that she had to change the Autobot's personalities so drastically to make the story work tells me that she cares nothing for the fandom itself, only what it can do for her personally in her own mind.

The relationship between Bumblebee and Sam is so contrived and forced it reads like the high school dramas that everyone and their Cougar mother writes to satisfy their strange desires to live in what they considered as the prime of their lives. Melodrama flows like ice from the arctic and urple is as abundant as concrete in New York. The plot never takes shape and ends in something so unsatisfying that it makes me sad when I think about the moving story this could have been if the author had not had such a heavy hand toward description, metaphor and euphemism.

And the whole relationship between Bumblebee and Sam was so disturbing that I have to mention again at how it mocks those who have gone through horrifyingly controlling relationships and seems to take the Twilight approach to defining what a healthy relationship is. The author misses the point entirely about 'Freedom being the right of all sentient beings', and thinks that being emotionally controlled by your spouse is the most romantic thing ever.

It feels as though her inspirations were The Scarlet Letter and The Eye of Argon, which horrify me in so many ways it is impossible to describe. Perhaps if she were not so busy masturbating with her Thesaurus, she would have seen that sometimes a minimalist approach is sometimes best. Sometimes, minimalism to the point of never writing the story at all is better than hundreds of thousands of words strung together in a vague semblance of a story.

Please step away from the computer, burn the Thesaurus and stop watching day time television. Do us all a favor and at least write like you give a damn more than a giggling fan girl oogeling at Cyber-testicles.


Last edited by Mythandariel on Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
EileenK98


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 55
Location : very, very close to Chris

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 6:29 am

I'm sorry, did I miss the link? Or did you take pity on us and spare us having to read it ourselves?
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Braigwen
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Braigwen


Join date : 2009-06-14
Age : 44
Location : Punching Udina.

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 9:57 am

Fixed, EileenK98. I posted that at 3:30 am and my brain had already left me for the day.
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Mary Sue
Sporkbender
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Mary Sue


Join date : 2009-10-19

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 11:38 am

Ignition, eh? Well this certainly wasn't hot and fresh out the kitchen.
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Narwhal
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Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Narwhal


Join date : 2009-06-10

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptyTue Oct 20, 2009 11:44 am

Mary Sue wrote:
Ignition, eh? Well this certainly wasn't hot and fresh out the kitchen.


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Braigwen
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Why yes, I am a Rocket Scientist!
Braigwen


Join date : 2009-06-14
Age : 44
Location : Punching Udina.

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptySat Nov 21, 2009 2:32 am

Mary Sue wrote:
Ignition, eh? Well this certainly wasn't hot and fresh out the kitchen.

New Release means that it has not shown up in any incarnation of WGW before. Dumb ass.
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EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
EileenK98


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 55
Location : very, very close to Chris

Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! EmptySat Nov 21, 2009 6:08 am

Click this. (Embedding disabled, unfortunately.)
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Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ignition; Filler: The Series!!   Ignition; Filler: The Series!! Empty

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