the asylum Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-06-14 Age : 39 Location : O Canada
| Subject: Fires of Sibling Love:- a soon-to-be classic Fire Emblem badfic Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:33 am | |
| I had originally posted this back on the House, but it's badness deserves a second sporking. No, it is not work safe. Let's begin. So we start out with Lucia, the swordmaster from FE9 that nobody used, and was somehow even worse in FE10, waiting outside a bar for her "secret admirer" - Quote :
- It
all started two weeks ago. Lucia had been out jogging, and when she came back, a letter was lying on her doorstep. "Huh. I wonder who this is from?" She opened the letter and began to read: Dear Lucia,I'm sorry if this sounds creepy to you, but I've been admiring you ever since I laid eyes on you. Your beauty surpasses that of any other being on this Earth. Your radiance makes the moon pale with jealousy and the sun red with anger. Your kindness could make a serial killer reform, and your smile is warm enough to melt stone. I love you. And the burning urple could set fire to an ice cube - Quote :
- Lucia
was astonished when she finished reading the letter. No one had ever spoke to her that way before... Except for Bastian, that is, but Bastian had already been executed for trying to rape her, so who could it be? This made me literally LOL when I first read it. Can you imagine Bastian of all people trying to rape someone? "Verily my dear, I shall thrust into thee with much force. Utter nary a sound, else I draw my knife upon thy throat." - Quote :
- She knew men often stared at her ample breasts, but
none had ever complimented in so romantic a way. You know, ever since I first discovered this, I've wondered if it was even possible to say "Nice tits" in a way that doesn't get a guy labeled as a creep. Unless someone would care to enlighten me.... - Quote :
- The letters came
every day for two weeks, and Lucia saved every one of them. Her secret admirer became the center of her life, her reason to wake up each morning. Well, that and defending Crimea on the odd occasion, I'm sure. - Quote :
- She went to salon to have her hair and nails done. She
spent three hours in front of her closet, trying to find an outfit that would accentuate her gorgeous breasts and ass, but not make her look like a prostitute, and eventually went to the tailor and spent all the money she made that month on buying a new outfit that looked just perfect on her. "hmm, how to look like a whore but not like a slut." Also, I wonder what salons were like in the middle ages. "Will that be the charcoal special, or the nails n' grime?" So anyway, Mr. Mystery doesn't show. - Quote :
- She knew the tears
were ruining her makeup, but she didn't care. He never loved her, nobody had ever loved her as anything more that a sex object... The whole "dressing up to show off her TNA" notwithstanding of course. So then she spots her brother Geoffrey with a rose, and asks who the lucky girl is. Of course, from the title alone, you've known who our mystery admirer is all along. And then of course they get horizontal. - Quote :
- Then, without warning, Geoffrey threw Lucia onto the bed and leapt on
after her. Lucia squealed and giggled as she hit the bed, her breasts bouncing. She helped Geoffrey pull his pants down, and then they became one. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - Quote :
- Lucia woke up the next morning feeling tired yet
exhilerated. She opened her eyes and the first things she saw were Geoffrey's eyes, looking back at her. They both smiled, and Geoffrey stretched his hand over to stroke her cheek. Lucia shuddered with delight, and she jumped on top of him, making love to him with all of the red hot passion of a burning flame. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] And then Keiran, the super-excitable ball of patriotism that we all knew and loved (and unlike Lucia, used), bursts onto the scene. - Quote :
- "CommanderGeoffrey, Lady Lucia," said Kieran, his voice soft for once. "You have
been found guilty of the crime of incest. The punishment for that... is death." Oh Keiran, what has this author done to you? I like how they've already been found guilty without trial. And the punishment for incest is death. Start up a civil war and attempt a coup on the royalty? Pffft, no biggie, into the clink you go. Boinking your sister though? LYNCH EM - Quote :
- Kieran averted his eyes. "I'm sorry... Fire when ready." Four snipers stepped
forward, who simultaneously notched their arrows, pulled them back, and fired. I hardly think they were a space apart. More will come. Later. | |
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