Worst of Fanfiction List, "The Gaffapedia".

Mind if I put this here? I worked pretty hard on it.

Agony in Pink. A cult-classic. The first 'fic published on-line by "The Dark Ranger" (and presumably the source of his pen-name), it involves the first Pink Power Ranger, Kimberly, being abducted, whipped, raped, electrocuted, mutilated and generally tortured by the series' main villain, Lord Zedd, and an OC monster called Tortura until she finally dies, while the other Rangers attempt to find and save her. It finishes with her body being returned in pieces to the shocked Rangers who are promised the same treatment unless they give up being Power Rangers. A very uncomfortable read, though also amusing in places (intentionally or not). Later came Agony in Pink - Redux. The author's attempt to 'improve' on the original by adding gorier mutilation, lesbian rape and Kimberly being force-fed her own excrement. This time around Lord Zedd is accompanied by his screen wife, Rita, and Tortura is replaced by a (human) cannon character called Katherine who took over as Pink Ranger when Kimberly left the show.
Agony in Red. Written in response to a challenge by an author who wanted to try and top the Dark Ranger. This takes up where Agony in Pink (the original version) left off and features the Red Ranger, Jason, suffering the same sort of treatment as Kimberly at the hands of Lord Zedd and Tortura. Tommy and Zak also cop it during the course of the 'fic and it finishes on a cliff-hanger with Trini cornered in her living room after discovering Jason's body and apparently about to be Tortura's next victim, although as far as we can tell the author has not lived up to the threat of continuing it. Unlike the Dark Ranger, this author doesn't describe the victim's body or mention his feet at all, as it was written purely for shock value rather than sexual gratification.
Agony in Yellow. Based on a later version of the Power Rangers series with different characters, this features Yellow Ranger, Ashley, being put through the Dark Ranger's trademark treatments by the series' main villain (who according to the author is a psychotic lesbian) and her various sidekicks.
Angel of Death. Historical real-person 'fic (which is at least, unusual, most real-person 'fics being about contempory celebrities) starring Josef Mengele, an evil Nazi scientist who performed experiments on concentration camp prisoners and was nick-named the Angel of Death. In this 'fic he finds a Mary-Sue girlfriend called Micki while commiting various atrocities. Micki is a prisoner in the concentration camp and can strike hardened Nazi soldiers dumb with her beauty, she also gets raped by one of the guards and later kills her assailant in a gas chamber along with a bunch of innocent people who happened to be in there too. Fortunately she ends up being killed as well.
Cannonball. The undisputed King of Cut-And-Paste Porn, sometimes also writing under his real name of Andrew Troy Keller. He isn't fussy about who he writes, throw him any couple in any fandom and he'll happily write/re-write porn for them as long as it involves plenty of 'passionate' shouting in capital letters. He has trouble with his spelling but flatly refuses ever to use a spellchecker, for reasons best known to himself, even though this has resulted in his being kicked off of some sites. His most famous line; "..., experiencing pure, untamed erotica... and enjoying every minute of it!" is one of the most quoted among GAFFers and he even had his own fan-site for a while. We can't be sure of his age but it seems likely he's pretty young and was probably pre-pubescent when he first started writing.
Celebrian. Overlong Lord of the Rings sexfic which outdates Peter Jackson's films by probably ten years or so and is usually considered to be GAFF's flagship 'fic, unfortunately the author is unknown. In the books Celebrian is the wife of Lord Elrond and daughter of Galadriel although she was cut from the films. However she is probably now more famous for this 'fic than for her role in the books. It involves Celebrian being kidnapped and turned into the sex-slave of an Orc King, by means of force-feeding her a potion, and spending much of the 'fic with a stomach so full of semen (species various) that she doesn't want any dinner. Eventually she is rescued but has had so much of the potion that it's effects have become permanent and she spends the rest of the 'fic, and apparently her life, as an over-sexed monster with magically-enhanced breasts, finally escaping from her husband and family to become the sex-slave of another Orc King (who pulls out all of her teeth for blowjob purposes) and then, eventually, Queen of the Orcs. Responsible for making the colour Lavender humourous.
Climb Every Mountain. A real-person 'fic which became a cult classic before even being finished. The cast of Peter Jackson's film versions of LotR have suffered at the hands of real-person 'fic authors, especially teenage girls who like to slash them. This is perhaps the weirdest attempt to slash anyone although it is at least child-friendly, unlike the graphic sex that usually makes up slash stories. Basically, it's a re-write of The Sound of Music starring Dominic Monaghan in the Maria role and Billy Boyd in the Captain Von Trapp role. The rest of the LotR cast have roles too, age not withstanding - many of Billy's 'children' are actors older than him - and there is singing involved, although the author hasn't included the actual songs from the film for some reason.
Cloud Mows the Lawn. This has possibly the most mis-leading title ever. Cloud and Tifa are characters from the Final Fantasy games and in this 'fic they have a disgusting sex session involving scat play in their bathroom. Cloud does indeed start the 'fic by mowing the lawn, but only briefly. It comes, of course, from the infamous adultfanfiction.net where nothing is forbidden and is full of gross sexual stuff, but this one is, perhaps, the most famous at GAFF. Spawned a parody in which Cloud literally does mow the lawn and nothing else happens.
Crash Crush. A real person cannibalism fic featuring the cast of Pirates of the Caribbean flying out to a remote island for filming and their plane crashing en route. Keira Knightly is badly injured and knows she won't survive so she tells Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom to eat her so that they won't starve. After briefly wrestling with their consciences, they do. Then they have hot man sex next to her remains. Orlando also uses his prop sword to cut down coconuts and gather firewood, having managed to hang on to it all the way through the crash and subsequent swim - what a trooper!
Data Goes Ballistic. Data, the android from Star Trek: The Next Generation, develops a malfunction in his 'morality circuits' resulting in his going on a rape and murder spree around the Enterprise. The rest of the crew attempt to unmask the killer but Data's too good at hiding the evidence. Rape and murder 'fics are hardly unusual but this one is particularly famous for it's inclusion of multi-flavoured android sperm, including the Earl Grey Tea flavour which turns out to be poisoness.
Death by Harry Potter's Balls. Particularly short 'fic in which Harry had a nightmare about Voldemort hitting him with a new curse 'Engorgius Nuttius' which turned all too real during sex with Cho Chang, when Harry's testicles grew to an enormous size and ran rampant through Hogwarts crushing everything and everyone in their path including Cho. Hermione volunteered to put a stop to it by shagging him, sadly she was killed by the explosion of sperm but the plan worked and Harry's testicles shrank back to normal leaving him perfectly unharmed. Oddly, despite the use of 'balls' in the title the author seemed incapable of naming the offending body parts anywhere in the text and instead used some rather strange food-related euphemisms such as 'grapes', 'cherries' and 'peppermint stick'. Eventually deleted as part of fanfiction.net's crackdown on 'fics that aren't suitable for children (although the bad spelling and grammar made it fairly obvious the author was a child).
The Draco Trilogy. A Harry Potter three-part epic by Cassandra Clare/Claire, who later became a published author. It was written between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix, which means some things are very different to how they eventually worked out in the books, although it bears little resemblance even to the existing canon at the time. Harry and Draco switch bodies owing to a potions accident, which gives Draco (as Harry) the opportunity to tell Hermione how much he's always fancied her and the whole thing goes downhill from there, including a seriously OOC Sirius and Narcissa having an affair, an entire plot borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and an awful Mary-Sue called Rhysenn Malfoy. It also involves many of the terrible cliches which went on to become a staple of Harry Potter fanfic and may even have been responsible for starting them, such as Ho!Mione, Draco being part Veela, Draco wearing leather and the traditional Mary-Sue version of Blaise Zabini (who at this point was still just a name rather than a character and widely believed to be female).
Dr. Mario Saves the Universe. Rather strange crossover in which Mario seems to have decided on a career change, becoming a doctor rather than a plumber and when Princess Peach goes into labour, after probably the shortest pregnancy ever, and requires a C-section, Dr. Mario is (for some reason) the only doctor around who knows how to perform one. Before he can do this, however, he has to deal with Tatanga (the last boss from the Super Mario Land game), who's attempting to take over the world from his space station. Of course, the good doctor accomplishes both missions without too much trouble and also discovers the father of Peach's baby is in fact Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog. Darth Vader has a cameo appearance too for no real reason.
Eating Granger. Intended to be a cannibalism/snuff fic, but was never finished, in fact it never got past the first chapter. The one chapter that was published describes Hermione Granger being abducted by the Death Eaters with the intention of eating her. In between repeated rape by Draco Malfoy, she's force-fed with a disgusting mixture of lard and sperm in order to fatten her up.
Evil Bride. An overlong LotR 'fic in which Legolas is some sort of messiah. Armed with his new invincible magic, he saves Middle Earth single-handed (apart from his pet ferrets) from an evil orc zombie bride who either wants to eat the brains of everyone in Mirkwood as a form of revenge for something or wants to get hold of a magical stone Legolas has in his spine so she can rule Mirkwood, the author seemed incapable of deciding which. Not that it really matters because the whole thing is terrible and sadly, it spawned a zillion sequels by other authors who loved it.
Executive Privilege. A disturbing real-person sexfic starring Hillary Clinton, now calling herself Hillary Rodham, who achieves her ambition of becoming America's first female president. As part of her new job she is given access to an amazing alien technology that can rearrange atoms in any way you want it to and uses it to shrink a tour bus (not an empty one either, it's full of tourists) to the size of a phallic tool and use it as a sex aid. What the real Mrs Clinton would have to say about this 'fic is best left to the imagination.

Looks like the whole thing is too big for these forums so I'm chopping it into chunks.

Full Circle. Sadly, Disney porn exists; this is probably the best known example. Characters from the Lion King have plenty of sex with each other including incest and indulge in about every fetish you could think of. Very squicky in more ways than one. Let's not talk about this one anymore.
Harry Potter and the Second Dark. Ridiculous crossover in which Darth Vader got the job of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts (what was Dumbledore thinking?) He was also revealed to be Harry's father (of course), Lily was revealed as having been half-elf and Harry was suffering from Morgul-Blade sickness for some reason. A great idea for a parody but unfortunately the author was trying to be serious, the bad spelling, punctuation and grammar didn't help either. Later disappeared, presumed deleted.
Hermione and the Pizza Boy. A "Harry Potter 'fic" that had nothing at all to do with the Harry Potter world except for the presence of Hermione Granger. A piece of classic porn, in which a good-looking guy working for a pizza firm delivers a pizza to a bored pretty girl at home alone one evening, she invites him in out of the rain and they decide to have sex despite being total strangers, was adapted by replacing the girl/narrator with Hermione. Not only was it idiotic and pointless but the "author" even managed to do a botched job of the cut-and-pasting resulting in lines such as "Hermione spread my legs open for him..." Now deleted and a good thing too.
Holly's Home Invasion. Thisoriginal'fic is an early effort by The Dark Ranger which he dug out of his back catalogue to publish on-line as a follow-up to Agony in Pink and so sometimes erroneously listed as Agony in Pink II. Written originally for publication in some magazine it features the eponymous heroine being raped and tortured in her own home by a gang of violent lesbians who break in. Although graphic and sometimes sickening it's not particularly gory and unlike the rest of his victims, Holly gets out alive, although it's possibly an even more uncomfortable read owing to it's comparative realism. However many people feel the most offensive thing about it is not so much it's graphic violence as it's portrayal of stereotypical 'butch dyke' lesbian rapists.
How Can I Go On? The Sailor Moon fandom is invaded by a group of Christian Mary-Sues who pray at every opportunity including when one of them finds a perfect new dress in a shop. The main Sue gets raped and has a baby but later finds true love and lives happily ever after. That's about it.
The Interrogation of Leia. Basically a Star Wars version of the author's famous Agony in Pink, where he explains what would have happened to Princess Leia at the hands of Darth Vader and assorted minions aboard the Death Star had he been responsible for the script (and never mind the fact that it's supposed to be a family film). He really gets into his stride this time around, making it the goriest one yet, most of the torture he comes up with is physically impossible or at least without killing Leia hours before it actually does.
It's All Too Much. Particularly strange real-person 'fic in which Sir Paul McCartney is a hermaphrodite and gives birth. He also gets married, but to the narrator Sue rather than to Linda although he does name his baby Linda. Set during the Beatles era (the other three Beatles all have roles too) and published on a site with a rather distracting 'Magic Eye' style of background and the text broken up by photographs of Paul, which doesn't improve it.
The Legend of Hunter Takahashi. Probably the most infamous Marty-Stu ever to invade the X-Men fandom. Hunter Takahashi is Japanese and a samurai (or at least claims to be one) whose mutation is vampirism and who strides around putting gays/women/liberals/etc. in their place, wanting to restore 'Samurai Mutant Vampire Honour', winning every fight he gets into with no great difficulty, raping the female characters for his 'monthly breeding' and constantly talking about how great he is.
legolas by laura. Another cult-classic, officially it's simply entitled legolas (not capitalised) but is so linked with it's author that it's known among GAFFers as legolas by laura (still no capitals). Laura herself stars alongside Legolas the elf, presumably the Orlando Bloom version. A very basic story, Laura is found abandoned in the woods as a baby by Legolas, who takes her home to his parents. Ten years later she is kidnapped, raped and tortured by orcs until Legolas, with help from Gandalf and Strider, breaks into the Dark Lord's home 'mondor', saves Laura, takes her home and becomes her boyfriend. Never mind the fact that if Laura was brought up from babyhood by Legolas' parents he would to all intents and purposes be her big brother or that she would be only ten years old, a little too young to be looking for a boyfriend. Written in Laura's trademark "and then...." style and finishes in the middle of a sentence for reasons unknown.
Little Miss Mary. Possibly the most inappropriate and disturbing of all Harry Potter 'fics and that's saying something. Snape hides Harry from the Death Eaters by disguising him as a little girl and passing him off as his niece. But Harry discovers he enjoys wearing girl’s clothes and quickly becomes Snape’s willing sex toy, they shop for clothes, share baths and give each other enemas. Rather worryingly, Harry acts much younger than he is and Snape keeps picking him up and carrying him. Also features male pregnancy, after a druid-style spell is used to add a womb to Harry’s anatomy, Ron/Draco shipping, Sirius and Remus having sex in their animal forms and Snape sucking on Harry’s nipples until they grow into breasts. Most famous is the rather creepy scene with a stone altar in the basement that Harry and Snape both have to ejaculate onto in order to keep the house’s protective magic working. Also, Snape drives a Volvo.
Lunaticus. Short and disgusting (but deliberately humourous) necrophilia 'fic in which Harry Potter digs up his father's rotting corpse and has sex with it. Sirius, who has been spying on him, shoos him away then has a go at dead James himself. The corpse is infested with maggots, incidentally.
Lydia's Love Potion. A thirty chapter long awful Snapefic in which we are introduced to Lydia, nicknamed Phoenix, who is an ageless, immortal HighlandermeetsJesus Sue who cannot be killed, and who can cure any disease (including blindness and cancer) with a bit of massage therapy. This naturally makes her very interesting to Voldemort, who captures her and ties her up and tries to find out the reason for her immortality, by which point she's become so annoying that that we're 100% with Voldie in wanting to find some way to kill the insufferable bint. She also gives birth to Snape's child but Snape takes their newborn daughter off to be dissected for potions ingredients, and even after finding this out, Lydia sleeps with him again. Also notable for a ridiculous scene in The Forbidden Forest where the entire herd of unicorns come out and prance around Lydia like a herd of tame My Little Ponies.
Moaning Lisa. Rather urpley underage porn from the Simpsons fandom, named after an actual episode. Lisa is sobbing alone in her room for ages until Bart comes to comfort her and they end up having underage incestuous sex. Once they've finished with each other he finally thinks to ask her what she was so upset about and she can't remember, but the author is kind enough to tell us it was because Snowball II has been run over and killed. Where were Homer and Marge whilst this was going on? We can't be sure because they don't get a mention.
Murder of Image. X-Rated Star Wars Prequels 'fic most notable for it's poor translation into English which made even the graphic rape scene humourous. Involved Obi-Wan and Anakin attempting to bring Palpatine to justice for sexual assault whilst carrying on a slushy slashy-romance. Piled absurdity upon absurdity - the Senate responded to Palpatine's exposure as a rapist by loudly booing when he entered the room, the Jedi apparently have a crime lab (and a very efficient one, too) and our loved-up couple spouted spontaneous (and bad) urple poetry at each other during a sex session in the woods, fought a lightsabre battle whilst holding hands (and still managed to win) and topped the whole 'fic off by singing a duet. And this was before the translation gave us results such as hoping for a pollution, smelling of old ruins and the hitherto-unheard-of concept of collarbone sex. Plus the guest Stu, a castrated pole-dancing rent boy, got about two whole chapters to himself despite having nothing to do with the main plot. Also notable is how the author casually used explicit language, not to mention graphic rape and castration scenes, and yet used 'son of a gun' as an insult. Sadly deleted along with it's host site but if it ever resurfaces elsewhere it'll become a cult-classic.
My Inner Life. A overly long love story between Link the Elf from the Zelda games and an author self-insert named Jenna. However, there is a difference from all other Self Inserts, the author insists she has vivid dreams that she can control (lucid dreaming) which allows her to live a second life at night as Jenna with Link. They marry, have lots of badly-written sex, buy an expensive house together, go through an elaborate bonding ceremony that involves drinking each other's urine and have kids, all whilst Link carries on fighting the bad guys from the games. Basically the author is insane.
Nick Bent. The most famous series by a Detroit-based online author known as PRED, enough to make the author of A Clockwork Orange hang up his bowler hat and go and do some gardening. Involves various real life celebrities and public figures coming into contact with the eponymous Marty-Stu anti-hero, a self-described 'cunthunter' who rapes, tortures, maims and kills women for money. The series also features the Ku-Klux-Klan, Neo-Nazis and other White Supremacists as well as Black Supremacists (on one occasion they actually work together), mass rape sprees, public lynchings, sulphuric acid enemas and an appearance by the Queen of England (yes, the actual Queen, Elizabeth II) wearing black leather and a strap-on dildo. One episode includes PRED's theory on how Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed met their deaths as witnessed by Nick Bent. Has apparently been deleted from one site and then resurfaced on another one several times. PRED happily admits to being the biggest misogynist on the planet.

Will the forums take it in only three posts?

Pawn to Queen. An epic of a Harry Potter 'fic most famous for the fact that it's never actually been finished. After the first few chapters, which aren't all that bad, the whole thing takes a rapid downhill plunge with Hermione being kidnapped and raped by the Death Eaters, and rescued and comforted by Snape. As you would expect, she then becomes his girlfriend and during a discussion between the couple Snape tries to make her feel better by comparing her to a chess pawn, explaining how an unimportant little pawn can get to the back row and become a queen (hence the title). The rest of their relationship, and indeed the 'fic, is just endless chapters of badly written porn, with occasional appearances from the worst Mary-Sue version of Blaise Zabini ever and a pointless original character called Claudia "Claws" Teasdale. In the end even the author gave up on it, which is why it's unfinished although she did publish a detailed summary of how she'd intended it to work out. This 'fic was also probably the first to use the now standard plot device to make Hermione magically older (all the time she'd reused in the third year with the help of the Time-Turner) so that she isn't too young for the author for marry her off.
The Perils of Agent Scully. Aridiculous and overlong sex-and-violence 'fic in which the X-Files agent is kidnapped by a sadistic mad scientist called Dr. Kidman (presumably named after Nicole Kidman) during an investigation. Dr. Kidman walks around her lab in a leather corset, fits women with fully functional prosthetic penises and keeps sentient, rapist plants in the toilets. Also features various body mutilations, cannibalism, Scully being raped by a gorilla, Scully and some nun being gang-raped by a town of rednecks and their dog, breast milk spraying all over the shop and appearances from every famous female redhead the author could think of. Judging by the inclusion of a trip to Coronation Street, the author was British which is a bit of a rarity.
Psychotic Jedi Fuckfest. Gruesome but rather amusing in a gross way, this is a very short 'fic from the Star Wars Prequels era featuring a blood-filled orgy including sliced off limbs, burst eyeballs, torn out hearts and lightsabres up the anal region with everyone finally dying in a bloody heap. Twist at the end when it turns out to have been a nightmare on the part of Obi-Wan brought on as a result of getting oral sex in his sleep (take two guesses who from) presumably without his prior knowledge or consent. At least the author took neither the 'fic nor him/herself seriously.
Raping Amanda Bynes and Avril Lavigne. The most infamous real-person 'fic ever to appear at GAFF, written by some PRED wannabe from Canada and told in the first person for added unpleasantness. Actress Amanda Bynes and rock star Avril Lavigne are abducted and put through a very nasty sexual torture session by the narrator, including Avril being raped by the dog. She ends up dead after two obese men turn up from nowhere to have a go as well and crush her. However, it copped out at the end by turning out to have all been a dream on the narrator's part. It seemed to been entirely removed from the Internet after someone at GAFF managed to report it to Avril Lavigne's legal staff but eventually resurfaced.
Roger and the Lesbian Elves. The wife of a Stu named Roger is kidnapped by a group of elves, presumably elves of the LotR persuasion although these ones are all lesbians and hate men. Roger goes off to rescue her, which he basically achieves by raping the elves to death, with disgusting consequences. Also involves the elves having sex with horses and dragons and Hermione Granger is there too even though it's not a Harry Potter 'fic. About as misogynistic as anything by PRED but without the guts to be honest about it. Aa a side note, the author was apparently later arrested for financial fraud.
Rose Potter. A series set in an alternative universe in the Harry Potter fandom. Supposing James and Lily had had a daughter rather than a son? How would she have coped with everything that happened to Harry? Re-writing the major events of the books with Harry's hypothetical alternate-self/sister, in the central role is an interesting idea that could have made a great story in the hands of a decent author. Unfortunately, this is not a decent author and so Rose Potter: The Girl Who Lived, is possibly the worst Mary-Sue ever to invade the Harry Potter fandom. She's both a druidess and ninja (despite her young age), has vanilla scented skin, enjoys attacking people with Japanese weapons, and has a dislike of clothes, preferring to to strut around naked. Cedric Diggory did not die in this version either, instead Rose keeps him as her boy-concubine. This series was originally published on fanfiction.net but removed for graphic sexual content, as was the author's whole account, he later re-published it on his personal webgroup complete with pictures of Rose in the buff.
Santa and His Elves. Kiss goodbye to your childhood. Yes, it's a sexfic. Yes, it stars Santa and several of his elves. What more do you need to be told? Features in Site Guru's sig.
Silencing Mike. Another disturbing real-person 'fic from adultfanfiction.net, proving fanbrats can write about men enjoying being raped as well as women. Graham Chapman leads the other Pythons in gang-raping Michael Palin in his own bed in order to try and cure his constant talkativeness. Terry Gilliam seems to be suffering from Tourette's Syndrome, judging by his unexplained tendency to suddenly say 'Slut' for no apparent reason. It may partially restore your faith in humanity to know that the author was sternly told off by several reviewers.
Sometimes a Mindfuck is More Than a Metaphor. More nastiness from the Harry Potter fandom. This time Draco Malfoy is raped in the head by his father who has drilled a hole in his skull for that very purpose, the various tortures Draco was put through also resulted in him crapping in his pants which comes in handy when Lucius needs some lube.
A Sorceror, A Demon, and Emeralds. The Sonic the Hedgehog fandom's infamous porn epic. Sonic finds a black Chaos Emerald one day and it turns him into an evil Stu/Dark Lord. He easily takes over Mobius and rapes just about everything that moves including Amy the hedgehog and an underage fox. Also, Robotnik is a werewolf for no reason and has a Sue daughter, named Sonya, who is from Earth and has been turned into a hedgehog, she loses consciousness more times than can possibly be healthy. Actually, Sonic is Robotnik's child as well, but very little is made of this, it's almost something the author just threw in there. Most famous for it's ret-con of the Floating Island (Sonic blew it to smithereens early in the 'fic, but a few chapters later he had merely caused it a bit of damage) and it's trivia scene where some of the answers were wrong. Finishes on a cliffhanger but this was apparently unintentional, the author planned to write more but never got around to it.
Spacedust and Chaos: A Requiem. This has to be the most urple filled 'fic ever written. It's supposed to be A) Neon Genesis Evangelion and B) lesbian slash but it's hard to tell in either case since the author was apparently too busy beating his thesaurus to death.
A Song in the Dark. A case of a children's cartoon inspiring rape fic. Angelica from Rugrats is raped by her parents, just because they feel like it, then sent back to her own bed where she sadly sings herself to sleep (hence the title). Includes a rather unpleasant use for a set of golf clubs.
Spider Attack. Original 'fic which deserves a mention for being a good example of the type of thing GAFF authors so frequently come up with and squicking many GAFFers. Giant rapist spiders with six foot long penises go on the rampage with all sorts of disgusting results including a woman with volleyball-sized breasts having the penis tear right through her and come out of her mouth and a pregnant woman miscarrying. Also features the headmaster of a school shagging an employee in his office whilst claiming to be keeping her safe but then sending her outside to be raped and killed by the spiders while he watches from the window. Not one for arachnophobics.
Star Trek: The Next Fornication. A comedy sexfic and cult-classic. The entire crew of the Enterprise indulge in a massive orgy, including the use of sex-aids and plenty of swearing. Wesley has been busy spying on his mother's bedroom with his video camera and is finally jumped by Riker with the immortal line; "'Surprise!' Riker said as he boned young Wesley up the ass," perhaps the most quoted line at GAFF.
Strawberry Vanilla Cocoabutterlove. This fic's title was also the unlikely name of it's Mary-Sue who, despite being blatantly underage, strutted around Hogwarts in her expensive lingerie and had a lot of kinky sex with Snape, who had the unusual ability of being able to grow his nose into a extra penis. Strawberry was also anorexic but at least her friends were concerned about this, indeed Harry, Ron and Hermione were all surprisingly in character. It was published on fanfiction.net which is supposed to be child-friendly but the mods aren't always on the ball and it went un-noticed (despite numerous complaints about it) for several months before finally being deleted.
Stephen Ratliffe. Star Trek: the Next Generation fanwriter and creator of Captain Picard's Sue daughter, Marrissa whose rank and status (other than Mary-Sue) changes from fic to fic. He has written far too many fics for indivdual listings but they all star Marrissa and are mostly poorly spelled, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton and the Royal Family all make appearances too. Has fans of his own who also who write Marrissa stories.
Subjugation. The Harry Potter fandom's version of the infamous Celebrian. Like the aforementioned Murder of Image it piles absurdity upon absurdity (and has everyone seriously OOC) but without the saving grace of being funny. Shortly before Voldemort's death he turns (a very angsty version of) Snape into a hermaphrodite as a punishment for his betrayal. Snape, who has spent most of his life being sexually abused anyway, is forced into marriage/slavery by (an evil version of) Dumbledore and his hermaphrodite state allows him to both give birth and breastfeed as well as being mysteriously irreversible. Sirius has returned from the dead (the author neglects to say how) and been given a full pardon by the Ministry and a teaching job at Hogwarts. Lupin turns into a werewolf during the day and then proceeds to have a Human Lupin vs. Wolf Lupin argument with himself as if he were Gollum. Sirius turns out to be Dumbledore's son (or rather, one of Dumbledore's many sons) and attempts to rape Hermione, until Draco saves her and becomes her boyfriend. Harry and Ron barely appear, although they do get a few mentions including the revelation they were responsible for the cold-blooded murders of Crabbe (spelled Crab) and Goyle. And on top of all this, almost everybody is gay, or at least bisexual. Probably a cult-classic, although it's so long and repetitive that most people give up part way through and just skip to the end to see what happens, which is that Dumbledore dies of a heart attack and Snape lives happily ever after with Lupin.
Superman's Stump. Very weird 'fic originally published on a site famous for 'fics about castration fetishes. Superman discovers a group of strange men who willing cut off their own penises and have sex (of a kind) with each other using the stumps. Superman intervenes and attempts to stop them (Why? They aren't breaking any laws) which turns out to be a serious mistake because they (just happen to) have some Kryptonite and so are able to castrate him too, then get him to join in with them which he enjoys, resulting in much angst on his part.
Teasetting Ron. A short Harry Potter 'fic in which Ron does some very naughty things with Professor Trelawney's tea set (and, as far as we know, doesn't clean it afterwards) during a spare moment. For some reason it's told in the second person making the reader into Ron.
Tango With an Agent. A Matrix 'fic which stars the most OOC Agent Smith you'll ever see on the Internet (or anywhere else) who falls in love with a Mary-Sue called Helena, who may be human and may be a programme - it's all pretty ambiguous, it's also far too long. Although we do learn about Smith's tastes in drink and music.
A Time to Every Purpose. A hundred-plus chapter epic of Tiny Toon Adventures angst including several pregnancies and time-travel, also features The Phantom Menace playing at the local cinema and guest appearances from Batman and Robin. The author dedicated it to his wife.
Tracy's BBQ. Probably the most infamous 'fic to appear in GAFF's Original section. Features a teenager called Tracy being beaten and raped by her father and so-called boyfriend before being roasted alive on a spit for her family's barbeque and taking her fate completely in her stride.
The UPS Guy. An Addams Family PWP, in which a UPS courier comes round to the family's house to deliver a parcel but is knocked unconscious and sexually assaulted by Thing. Cue lengthy and unwanted descriptions of how perfect the Stu's body is and how much Thing enjoys rolling around in spilled semen.
Until the End of Time. A fic in which Anne Frank meest Goku of Dragonball Z written by an author who claims to be a fan of both DBZ and Anne Frank. Goku saves Anne from the Nazis (but leaves her family to their fate) and Anne/Goku romance ensues. Goku then fights Hitler who behaves like a Final Boss and transforms into a Super Saiyan. Ends happily.
The Vilest Deed. Tolkien torture/snuff in which Morgoth and Sauron rape, maim, dismember, kill and otherwise humiliate the various elves they've taken prisoner. The author presumably decided to make it a bit different from run-of-the-mill snuff filth, hence the lead character's amazing shape-shifting penises which change both length and thickness and grow spikes. Includes appearances by an elf girl named Angawen, which translates as Iron Maiden, a rather apt name considering she has an expandable penis tear through her entire body and doesn't die for some time and a really, really naive elf who can't see how it's possible for him to be raped because he's male, and has no vagina - and then learns how it's possible.
Wildflowers. An epic saga that starts off as an OOC, melodramatic angstfest about Nephrite and Naru's twisted love and Endymion's woman-hating selfishness and ends up being all about a bunch of angel and demon OCs. Usagi is dumber and more naive even than her first-season anime counterpart, Naru is apparently an immortal soul from the Silver Millenium who was married to an abusive Zoisite and is also Endymion's mother, Nephrite is a poor misunderstood angel, and the whole thing resembles a soap opera more than a Sailor Moon fic.

And the second list, with links included wherever possible. (I've removed the ALF fics from this version.)





Ariel's Dragon Katana. A sword 'n' sex fic using characters taken very loosely from Disney's Little Mermaid. Ariel and her sister Arista have somehow become human and somehow acquired a spaceship to live on. They spend an evening having a practice fight with katanas followed by incestuous lesbian sex sixteen times in a row without getting tired and employing the katanas as makeshift dildos without lethal injury. Even if the names were changed to make it an original fic, it would be terrible as the author apparently knows nothing about sex or human anatomy or katanas.
Beauty and the Beast (The Sexy Version). A rewrite of Disney's Beauty and the Beast in which the enchanted castle servants somehow still have genitals in their object forms and repeatedly anally rape Belle before handing her over to the Beast for further sex, she famously asks him "Okay but please be gentle, I'm still a virgin in my vagina". Eventually everyone gets a happy ending, except for Mrs Potts who for some reason is sent to live in the stables where the horses can repeatedly rape her for the rest of her life.
Christmas Cuppa. One of those kink 'fics that remind you that there are people out there with some very strange turn-ons. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, rather than hating each other's guts, are a happy couple in an established relationship, no explanation is given; they just are. One Christmas, Harry presents Draco with cold coffee in a plastic cup as a Christmas present. Draco is, not surprisingly, puzzled by this so Harry proceeds to demonstrate by giving him an enema with it and then sucking it back out and swallowing it, complete with any 'chunks' or 'seedy bits'. Cold coffee enemas are detoxifying and good for the liver, so Harry tells us.
The Craving in My Bones. A piece of Harry Potter nastiness in which Ron is kept prisoner in the Malfoy's cellar and systematically tortured. Draco is incredibly turned on by the idea and after the Death Eaters leave he pops down to the cellar to have a wank. When he gets bored with that, he fucks Ron in the tongueless mouth and empty eye socket and finally up the arse whilst drowning him in a bucket of urine. Lucius walks in just as he's finishing and is proud of his actions so they have some father/son bonding time using Lucius' pimp cane as a sex aid.
Distraction. A Saiyuki slash sexfic featuring a description of urethral penetration that had GAFFers, male and female alike, crossing their legs. The author defended the "damn near impossible" sex by insisting that as Hakkai and Gojyo are demons, they have different anatomy and enjoy pain. Also gave us the wonderful line, "And now, the sex!"
Enemies. An epic of a sexfic, Subjugation style, this time from the Doctor Who and Torchwood fandom. Ianto is somehow the Doctor's son and also the sex toy of Captain Jack, who is somehow the Doctor's great nephew and also the Master's adopted son but that doesn't stop the Master from raping him. Everyone with us so far? Also features a French Time Lord Stu called Rene and a whole lot of kidnappings, torture and rape, usually at Ianto's expense. Ianto has sex about ten times a chapter and not always in appropriate settings (the dinner table, for example) but still gets upset when someone calls him a whore. He's also inexplicably immortal which means whenever he's miserable he can commit suicide and it won't be permanent, handy.
Family Whore. Paedophilia and incest in one package from a so-called fan of Harry Potter. Ten year old Ginny is the only girl in the Weasley family so she automatically gets the role of Family Whore, the fic being written as though it's perfectly normal for families to nominate one of their daughters to service the men of the family. Ginny is given a whole new wardrobe with plenty of short skirts and no underwear for convenience and her dad and six brothers take it in turns to help themselves, even Molly joins in. The best that can be said for this sorry idea is that at least Ginny is enjoying herself.
The Fifth Wall. A tentacle rapefic starring the giant squid of Hogwarts Lake, the star of many a tentacle rapefic. This time the victim is none other than J.K. Rowling. Seriously.
Intervention. A historical RPF in which Franklin D. Roosevelt meets Adolf Hitler (complete with terrible German accent) for negotiations. In an attempt to avert World War II Roosevelt agrees to Hitler's request; "Well mien sir, makin with tah disrobin". Much badly written sex ensures but whether World War II was averted or not is never mentioned. Incidentally, the theory that Hitler hated gay people was because he was really in denial about being gay himself does exist outside of the Internet but most experts' response to the theory is; "Er, probably not."
Killer Crew. A very poorly written and spelled crossover fic from various horror films. Starring Jason Vorheese as the new captain of the Flying Dutchman, although according to the summary the ship is called "Shadow Knife", getting rather more lines than he does in the films. The crew were eventually supposed to include Freddy Kruegar, Ghostface, Leatherface, Micheal Myers, the Creeper, Candyman, Hannibal Lector, Jigsaw Killer, Pyramid Head and Damien of The Omen plus Jason's little sister Sue, Samara but the fic was never finished and now appears to be deleted.
The Linda Danvers Series Tuxedo Mark's series of fics about Linda Danvers alias Supergirl which was four years in the making. Most notable are the lesbian sex scenes where the characters keep looking at the clock and mentioning the time aloud and the long paragraph in which we are treated to a mention of every single little movement of Linda's as she does the laundry.
Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament. A fifty chapter epic from Tuxedo Mark featuring an international tournament between Gundam robots controlled by promiscuous lesbians. The wooden fight scenes consist of robots alternately kicking and shooting each other and each match is a copy-paste of the same fight scene with just the names of the participants altered, dinner scenes and news reports are likewise copy-pasted into most of the chapters. Other highlights include very dull and repetitive lesbian sex scenes and unnecessarily detailed descriptions of the characters packing for the tournament.
My Immortal. A badly-spelled Harry Potter epic featuring shy Draco Malfoy and potty-mouthed Dumbledore and starring a Mary-Sue of the gothic persuasion as narrator. Her name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way but she frequently mis-spells it. She claims to be both a witch and a vampire and to look like Amy Lee but with tri-coloured hair. She gives us detailed descriptions of her outfits and makeup and not-very-detailed descriptions of her sex sessions with Draco. The fic becomes much less bad when you realise it's actually a joke by an author who only pretends to be semi-illiterate. The story is also availible in book form from a self-publishing website, no shitting.
Necrocommuion. Further unpleasant weirdness from Harry Potter, this time (as the title suggests) it's necrophilia. Harry falls to his death from the Astronomy tower, apparently jumping whilst under the Imperious curse and a grief-stricken Hermione decides she wants to have his baby so she fucks his corpse and then steals his underwear, presumably as a memento. Draco is the only witness to the whole thing and leaves the scene feeling oddly unsatisfied and convinced Harry has beaten him again. Exactly why he thinks this is not explained.
The Next Best Thing. Yet another Harry Potter fan's attempt to write kink. This time Hermione is in love with Harry (she sees Ron in a brotherly way plus he's sleeping with Luna) but is convinced she can't have him even though he and Ginny have split up. So instead she buys a magical shape-shifting dildo from the Wizarding World's version of Anne Summers in Knockturn Alley. The dildo grows Harry's head on the end complete with glasses, which sounds like a rather dangerous object for penetration but apparently isn't. Hermione's appalling lack of hygiene in leaving the used dildo on her pillow without washing it seems rather out of character too. Ends happily when Harry finds out about it and tells Hermione he wants her too and has been secretly smelling her underwear.
Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Princess. The world's oldest fanbrat, in her twenties but behaves like the worst kind of thirteen year old. Her main fic starred her song-bird "Jedi Princess" Sue who was prone to fainting and married Prequels Trilogy Obi-Wan despite the fact he never seems to show a particular interest in any woman, let alone one as annoying as the Sue. It was sulkily removed from FF.net after receiving too many negative reviews but she has other fics still posted.
Pasiphea. More Harry Potter nastiness in which Harry is dead, Voldemort is victorious and Ginny is the Death Eater's prisoner. The Death Eaters drag Ginny out of her cell and gang rape her every night for the fun of it until they get bored, at which point Voldemort decides to spice things up. Using the ancient Greek legend of Pasiphea, who had sex with a bull, as his inspiration; he enchants a bull to rape Ginny for his gang's amusement. Ginny greatly enjoys it as Voldie kindly puts a spell on her to ensure the sex won't hurt in exchange for her future 'services'. Why the Death Eaters have a bull in their possession in the first place is never explained, presumably it was stolen from a Muggle farm. Also contains a wonderful wrong word usage when Voldie uses 'fortification' rather than 'fornication' to describe the sex.
Peace on Earth. Religious smut set "somewhere far above the mortal plane... not in Heaven, but in a gap between the realms where prophets and deities gathered." Jesus and Mohammad are in twu wuv and have poorly-written sex on a "cloud covered ground" in between discussing the ills of the world. God is happy for them, in case you were wondering.
Reunited. An ongoing Harry Potter and a Sue epic, the Sue is Aurora Iris Potter, Harry's long-lost twin and the real defeater of Voldemort. Aurora somehow has crystal clear eyes without being blind and wears her blouse half open to show off the lightning bolt scar on her breast, she naturally goes into Slytherin and Harry is switched to Slytherin too so he can be with her. Hermione is sleeping with Draco, Snape is sleeping with both Harry and Dumbledore, Tom Riddle is resurrected when Voldemort's wand snaps and hooks up with the Sue. Snape holds a lust potion class in one chapter and later Hermione, Aurora and Harry all get pregnant at the same time. The fic is full of typos, mis-spellings and badly written sex scenes and when several reviewers told the author her characters should be using lubricant for sex, she mistook 'lube' for some sort of sex act that's necessary before the main event and showed her creativity by having her characters have so much lube they were too tired to have sex as well. Whether she made that mistake on purpose or not is debatable.
Tainted Perfection. Harry/Draco slash with the somewhat poor set-up of Draco handling a potion that happens to be an aphrodisiac immediately after managing to cut himself on a broken jar, with the result of the potion getting into his bloodstream. Includes the mis-spelling "afrodiasiac", the creative mis-spelling of Slytherin as 'Slithern', the description of Draco's lips as 'pilgrims' and the famous quote. "Harry couldn’t quite explain what was happening - all he could think of was an expression Ron would use when the two snuck into Fred and George’s room to read dirty magazines. Quite simply: Harry’s cow popped out of the barn door and mooed dangerously. And then, quite simply, Draco began milking the cow."
Virgin. Yet more Harry Potter sexfic weirdness with a rare fanfic appearance from Peter Pettigrew who has been hiding in Hogwarts in his rat form and spying on the girls masturbating in the shower. Eventually he decides he wants to rape Hermione in her sleep and climbs into her vagina and apparently her womb as well where he rubs himself against her insides until he comes and then escapes, dragging her hymen along on his back legs. Hermione wakes up as he leaves and screams the place down, which seems a little late.
Wont Take it Anymore. A Harry Potter epic in which Dumbledore is evil, Voldemort is good but misunderstood and everyone, except token het couple; Narcissa Malfoy and Rudolphus Lestrange (who we don't see much of) is gay, or at least the boys are, the girls don't do anything much. Harry and Voldemort (or rather, Tom Riddle) have an MPreg baby thanks to a spell created by Fred and George who have an inbred MPreg baby of their own. The Dursleys, Bellatrix, Hermione and any other character the author doesn't like are all killed off and all the characters who the author does like become Death Eaters and take over the Wizarding World to live happily ever after in their fascist dictatorship where Muggleborns are treated as second class citizens. The author, of course, saw nothing wrong with this.

I was hoping someone would nab this! It's like our Encyclopedia or something.

I hope no one wasted any of their valuble few minutes nabbing it because I had the Master Copy on my memory stick all along. :|

The original on Orange GAFF was actually started by somone called London Fog and added to by other members, I saved it just before Orange went offline and spent a while adding and improving then re-posted on Green GAFF and collected further additions from the Greenies. The "Worst of Green" version is entirely my own work.

Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament and/or the Linda Danvers Fanfic series needs to be on the new list. Tuxedo Mark must be recognized in all his coma-inducing, overheating glory.

Sticky'd.

Wasn't there one somewhere with Link/Epona?

Will those fictions be posted here later?

Narwhal wrote:

I was hoping someone would nab this! It's like our Encyclopedia or something.

Or Gaffapedia, if you will.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament and/or the Linda Danvers Fanfic series needs to be on the new list. Tuxedo Mark must be recognized in all his coma-inducing, overheating glory.

Done.

What, no Cannonball? I want to experience 'pure, untamed erotica and enjoy every minute of it'.

Also, what about Stephen Ratliff? I remember it being on one version of the list. There's that cringe inducing Wesley/Marissa fic and the Marissa/AU!Male!Marissa fic where kids are naked and have sex starting at eight. And Klingons have massive penes that that 13 centimeters long and three centimeters wide. Either somebody is really, really small or doesn't know how to convert between American and Metric measurements.

karmyn31 wrote:

What, no Cannonball? I want to experience 'pure, untamed erotica and enjoy every minute of it'.

Whoops.

Added.

Quote :

Also, what about Stephen Ratliff? I remember it being on one version of the list. There's that cringe inducing Wesley/Marissa fic and the Marissa/AU!Male!Marissa fic where kids are naked and have sex starting at eight. And Klingons have massive penes that that 13 centimeters long and three centimeters wide. Either somebody is really, really small or doesn't know how to convert between American and Metric measurements.

Never heard of that. I'll look it up and add it sometime.

The Site Guru had a list of all these on his LJ:

http://the-site-guru.livejournal.com/1783.html#cutid1

So now there's no shortage of "revivals", so to speak.

I've just noticed there is no mention of Until The End Of Time, Gofer-chan's brain-melting Anne Frank/Goku fic. You know the one:

Quote :

Goku had the definite advantage. Or so it seemed. Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically. The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue. Goku reeled in horror. Hitler continued laughing, then finally said “Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!” Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.

Wildflowers. An epic saga that starts off as an OOC, melodramatic angstfest about Nephrite and Naru's twisted love and Endymion's woman-hating selfishness and ends up being all about a bunch of angel and demon OCs. Usagi is dumber and more naive even than her first-season anime counterpart, Naru is apparently an immortal soul from the Silver Millenium who was married to an abusive Zoisite and Endymion's mother, Nephrite is a poor misunderstood angel, and the whole thing resembles a soap opera more than a Sailor Moon fic.

Sara Jaye wrote:

Naru is apparently an immortal soul from the Silver Millenium who was married to an abusive Zoisite and Endymion's mother

Naru was married to Endymion's mother as well as Zoicite? It says a lot that I'm not sure whether this is something that actually happened in the fic or a typo. :D

Keith Fraser wrote:

Sara Jaye wrote:

Naru is apparently an immortal soul from the Silver Millenium who was married to an abusive Zoisite and Endymion's mother

Naru was married to Endymion's mother as well as Zoicite? It says a lot that I'm not sure whether this is something that actually happened in the fic or a typo. :D

...whoops. XD No, she's Endymion's mother and married to Zoisite. Sorry for the sentence structure muckup there.

Added all those but it won't let me add any more because the postings have reached maximium size.
If you want to write any more separate entries in the thread anyway, feel free and I'll add them to the Master Copy.

I have something to add:

Doing it the Con-Way: An obsessive ass-fetish WWE fic between Rob Conway and Victoria, where pretty much the entire three chapters are dedicated to all things about and around various anal play, with the most laughably un-erotic terminology ever. (ie: MAN ASS)

My first contribution to the Gaffapedia is Love Is Pain, an absolutely vile Daria fic that not only warps the characters of Daria and Trent beyond recognition but also has Daria chained in a basement.

No sign of "Of Warlords And Pleasure"? All you need to know about that one is that it features rectal penetration with a spear, along with the words "Don't worry, I'll take it out once it gets up to its blade." (Blunt end first.) AND IT DOES.

Very good list!

Only thing is that it's "Wont" Take It Anymore, not "Won't" Take It Anymore. For some reason, you really need that lack or an apostrophe, or it just doesn't feel like the same fic anymore...

Roo wrote:

Very good list!

Thanks.

Quote :

Only thing is that it's "Wont" Take It Anymore, not "Won't" Take It Anymore. For some reason, you really need that lack or an apostrophe, or it just doesn't feel like the same fic anymore...

Apostrophe removed. Though I won't be able to read that entry without itching to put it back again.